Sarah slowly became aware that Cam was no longer swimming. They were floating, churned in the rough ocean waters and thrust towards the beach. She struggled to look up at his face and was shocked to see the grey pallor of his skin.

Oh no. Oh god no. She kicked as hard as she could. She had no idea what she was doing but she kicked and thrashed and bucked against the waves. She gripped Cam when the ocean tried to tear him away from her. I won’t let you take him. He is mine. She fought savagely until one frantic kick touched something hard. She started and reached out, finding the bottom.

“Yes!” Sarah cried out. Her voice was pathetic and raspy. Her throat burned with fear and the salt water she’d swallowed. Her arms were utterly exhausted, but she forced her hands around Cam’s shoulders. She pulled him through the waves, up onto the wet sand. She fell beside him, sobbing and gasping before she scrabbled up and dragged his limp body out of the surf.

“Cam?” She shook him. “Oh god. Oh no. Please no.” She couldn’t be responsible for his death. She couldn’t let him die.

Sarah bent over Cam’s face, feeling for breath. There was nothing. She panicked for a moment before a strange calm stole over her. She worked at a school. She had mandatory CPR and First Aid training. If there was anything that could save Cam, she knew what it was.

Her hands titled his face back before they flew to his chest. She started to perform pumps, counting the rhythm out loud. She stopped, scrambled to his mouth, pinched his nose and breathed her own breath down his throat. She waited. Nothing happened. Instead of panicking, she returned to his chest and kept pumping out a steady rhythm before breathing down his throat. It didn’t work. Tears streamed down her cheeks but she wouldn’t stop. She could bring him back. She had to. There was no way that this was how their story ended.

She pumped his chest again, counting out loud to calm and steady herself. She pinched his nose and breathed air down his throat. The spluttering, gagging sound startled her as soon as she pulled away. She let out a triumphant cry and turned Cam onto his side.

He retched up an ocean’s worth of water onto the sandy beach. Sarah couldn’t stem the tide of tears that drenched her face. “Cam,” she whispered. “Oh, my god, Cam, I’m so sorry.” She sat back in the sand, utter amazement taking over as the adrenaline of what just happened wore off.

Cam crawled over to her, still choking and gasping. She pulled his head into her lap and stroked his wet, salt encrusted hair. He clung to her waist as she uttered mindless words of comfort for them both.

She wasn’t sure how much time passed before Cam pulled away. The world seemed to have stopped. The dawn breaking over the sky was completely surreal. The breeze gentled and the ocean calmed.

“I’m sorry,” Sarah whispered. She’d lost track of how many times she’d said the word. She knew it was never going to bring absolution. “Cam… I…”

He shook his head. He planted one strong hand in the sand and pushed himself upright. It seemed to take all his strength just to sit up and face her. His blue eyes, normally so full of life, were completely exhausted. His skin still had that horrible grey hue. “Why?” He rasped. The word seemed painful as it was drawn from his raw throat.

“Why? Why anything,” Sarah moaned. “Why did I take that boat and think I could figure out a way to get out of here? Why did my brother take those pictures in the first place? Why am I even here?” She realized she was reaching hysteria and she slammed her mouth shut to stem the useless babble.

Cam’s fingers groped through the sand before returning to the surface. He stared at the tiny white granules as though he could find answers there. His eyes returned slowly to her face. “Why would you want to leave now?”

Sarah winced at his raspy voice. It seemed painful for Cam to speak. The urge to throw herself against him, to wrap him in her arms and hold him, was so strong she was hardly able to resist. She needed to assure herself he was going to be alright. She didn’t move. She felt that it wouldn’t be right to touch Cam when she delivered the blow.

“Why? Why did I think I could make it? I don’t know. It was stupid. The whole idea was ridiculous. I thought I could sail the boat to another island and get help. I couldn’t lose my bargaining power. I slept with you because I needed to. I thought I could turn what you felt against you and possibly even get the money that way. I thought if you felt something for me then maybe it would make a difference and your heart would be softened.”

Cam waited. He said nothing but his eyes revealed a glint of hurt. Sarah lowered her head. She couldn’t even look him in the eye.

“I… that wasn’t the whole reason. I wanted you. It was wrong. You kidnapped me. You’re the enemy and yet- it felt right. It always felt right. So incredibly right. You have to believe that.” Her eyes flew to his face, imploring him but all she found was the same cold, hard steel that used to be there. Any hopes that she might have entertained died. Her heart froze. She wondered if it would ever beat properly again.

“Why leave then?” He finally rasped.

“I had to! I had to leave! If I lost the one thing I held over you, my brother’s life would be over. If he returns those photos then his life is forfeit. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I- feel- I feel something for you. I can’t even define it because I’m scared to. I just knew that I didn’t want to keep hurting you. I had to get away. Hurting you meant saving my brother. Staying and letting myself be weak, letting myself feel… it would cost my brother everything. He’s always looked after me. It’s my turn to care for him now…”

Cam shook his head slowly. “I don’t understand.” He paused, swallowing hard. “Why do you need the money?” His eyes bore through her, searching for the truth.

Sarah knew it was over. She couldn’t keep lying to him. “I never thought he’d finally meet a woman and fall in love. I had no idea who she was. He’d been with her for far longer than anyone else. I finally clued in that maybe I should do some research into this woman that had finally captivated Trace when all others failed. I found out she’s your sister. Veronica Ford is your sister.”

“Yes,” Cam forced out. “I never wanted her to be a part of anything I did. I didn’t want her getting mixed up in my life. She kept our last name. I invented one for myself.”

“Spade… how original.” Sarah winced at her own words. This was not the time or place for sarcasm.

“It’s what they used to call me- my friends. It stuck so I kept it.”

Sarah nodded slowly. Cam waited for her to continue. It was hard to force the words past her throat. It was suddenly far too tight. Sorrow and shame burned as acrid as the salt water she’d swallowed earlier. “I found out she was your sister and I didn’t care. My brother could make his own choices. Everything was fine for months and then… Trace has lived a hard life. You have to understand that. He cared for me and he’s always made sure I had everything I needed but he’s done his fair share of turning to whatever method got him through at the time. He always drank heavily, even when he was still just a kid really. Not that he’d get drunk per say… I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. When he met Veronica he stopped everything. The whisky. Whatever else he was doing. He never liked to tell me so I’m sure I don’t even know the half of it. He quit. Cold turkey. Unfortunately, the damage was already done. He’s had twelve hard years of rough living. He started getting sick. His skin yellowed. He was always tired. When he started throwing up I made him see a doctor. He… he’s dying. My brother is twenty-seven years old and he’s dying. He needs a liver transplant. Needless to say, the list is long and he’s not a high priority. The only way we could get one is to pay for it. My brother loves your sister. It was- me- it was my idea...”

Cam’s eyes never wavered from her face. His features never changed. There was no sign of sympathy or sorrow. She had no idea what he was feeling and that was the most frightening part.

“So you told your brother to blackmail my sister, knowing full well that I had the money to pay. You were going to use that money for a new liver. For a man who doesn’t- wouldn’t even…”

“Doesn’t what? Deserve it?” Sarah asked coldly. A shiver ripped through her. “Are you fucking kidding me? Trace is my brother! Of course he deserves it! He deserves another shot at a life that has been pretty shitty for him so far. He’s sacrificed everything for me. So that I could graduate and go to college and make something of myself. He did it all for me!”              

Cam pushed himself to standing. His muscles trembled with the effort. Sarah stared at him.

“Trace returned those photos yesterday. I was going to tell you this morning. I wanted…” he shook his head, almost viciously. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

Tears sprang to Sarah’s eyes and coursed down cheeks that were already engrained with salt. “He’s as good as dead then.”

“No.” Her eyes flew to Cam’s face as he bent down beside her. He didn’t touch her. His face was still that same cold, hard shell. “I’ll give you the money. Free and clear. I just want you to promise me one thing. That you and your brother will leave us alone. Veronica is all I have in the world. I would have her spared any further heartbreak. She can never find out about this.”

“Why? Why wouldn’t you want her to know that you are capable of such kindness?” Sarah gasped.

Cam shrugged. “She already knows. What I don’t want her to know is that your brother didn’t betray her. He isn’t for her. I haven’t changed my mind about that. A clean break is best.”

“And what about us?” Sarah dared to ask in a trembling voice. She couldn’t keep fresh tears from trailing down her face. Her entire world felt like it was crumbling around her. She should have been happy and relieved, but she wasn’t.

“Us?” Cam growled. “There is no us. You said yourself that you seduced me for the money. Well, you have it now.” A small tick in his jaw was the only thing that betrayed the fact that Cam felt absolutely nothing at all. “Be well.” He turned and disappeared down the path that led back to the house.

She’d convinced herself that Cameron Spade’s heart was utterly black long before she met him. In fact, she’d doubted the man had a heart at all. The worst part of everything was that now she knew she was wrong. He had a heart. He had a beautiful, living, beating heart. One she was pretty sure she had irreparably wounded.

Sarah sat frozen in the sand. Her pounding heart refused to believe that her time here was at an end. It should have been everything she wanted. She had everything she ever hoped to gain. Her brother was going to live because Cam, incredibly enough, was going to give them the money they needed for a transplant and the care after. She didn’t know whether it was shock from the near-death experience that turned her heart to ice or the fact that she’d just lost a man she’d told herself from the start she wanted nothing to do with.