The door to Cam’s office opened and closed silently. He didn’t glance up from the pile of paperwork he’d buried himself under. Only one person could open and close a door so quietly. Veronica. She’d been at his office countless times over the past week. Obviously, she had something she wanted to talk to him about but when she came she lost her nerve and made up excuses. Maybe today’s the day.

Cam finally sighed long and hard to let his sister know just what these interruptions did to his concentration. His head shot up from the notes he was making on a loan document. His hand froze. A second later the ball point pen fell from his fingers and landed with a dull thud. It rolled off a stack of papers and onto the floor but Cam didn’t notice. His attention was locked on the slim figure who stood just inside his office.

He quickly composed himself, schooling his features to hide his shock. He folded his arms over his chest in a gesture of casualness that he did not feel. “How is it,” he growled under his breath, “That you were able to get past a guard and a secretary trained not to let anyone in?”

Sarah’s eyes darted around the office before landing on his face. “Well, your ‘guard’ is a seventy year old man who sits at his desk all day with a list in front of him. I told him the same thing I told your secretary. That you were expecting me.”

“And they believed you even though I left no instruction?”

“Yes.”

He laughed bitterly. “You’re as good a liar as you always were, I see.” He nearly felt a spasm of regret when her face fell.

Sarah glanced behind her at the door, as though she longed to slip out and save herself the trouble. He really wished she would. Liar. Cam carefully ignored that twinge. She finally squared her shoulders, walked over to his massive desk and pulled out a seat. She plopped down. She settled her handbag at her feet and folded her hands in her lap as though she was there for an interview.

“Nice office,” she whispered bravely. “It’s not what I expected.”

“Yes, I’m sure you thought that I worked out of a cave with a merry band of thieves by my side.”

She actually laughed. He’d meant to offend her but the sound of her laughter nearly changed his mind. God, he was ashamed to admit he missed that sound.

A trace of a smile remained on her full lips. She blinked and waited until he met her eyes. “Cam… I came because I wanted to thank you. I need to thank you for saving my brother’s life.”

“Needless to say my sister also means to thank me. She’s been trying for the last week but she’s lost her courage every time she comes in here.” That threw Sarah for a loop. He was glad to see the discomfiture on her face.

“What? How can you-”

“How do I know that she’s been visiting your brother in the hospital for these past two weeks? Come now Sarah. Surely a man with as black a heart as Cameron Spade has his own sister followed once and a while.” He didn’t add that he did it for Veronica’s protection. He’d only found out about sister and Trace because he was worried about her. He had his men perform a twice weekly security check on her to make sure she wasn’t being harassed or stalked by any of his clients. Some people were bent on revenge and he’d always been cautious when it came to Veronica, even though most people didn’t actually know she was his sister.

She shrugged slowly. “Yes. Well…”

“You’ve said thank you. Your gratitude is accepted. You can leave now.” Cam waited. He was thankful for the privacy his desk afforded. Sarah couldn’t see how tight his hands were clenched under that surface.

“I…” She glanced around the office again and finally sighed. Those feminine shoulders of hers squared and he recognized a flash of the old feistiness in her eyes. Good. He liked defiance. He could deal with that. He couldn’t deal with emotions and gratitude and sappy drivel. “Cam, I’ll go. I promise I will. I just need to know one thing before I do.”

“What?” The word was ground out past clenched teeth.

“I need to know why you gave me the money for Trace. You hate him. We both betrayed you in a way. We hurt your sister. I held a knife to your throat, I sunk your boat and you nearly drowned because of me.”

A cold shiver raced up Cam’s spine. “But I didn’t, did I? I did drown but you brought me back. You resuscitated me.” He shrugged coldly even though he felt, oddly enough, like breaking down and weeping. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d so much as shed a tear. He certainly hadn’t when their mother died. His burdens had always been far too great to let emotion get in the way. “A life for a life. That’s why I did it. I gave you the money to save your brother’s life because you saved mine.”

Sarah’s honey eyes flashed angrily. She unclenched her hands and slammed one down on top Cam’s desk, surprising them both. “That’s a lie and you know it! You were the one who saved my life. I was the one who would have drowned had you not swam out for me. You’ll never know the horror and utter fear that went through me while I was trying to bring you back. You can’t imagine what it’s like to look down on the face of the man you’ve pretty much killed.”

“That’s rather dramatic.”

“Shut up Cameron!” Sarah hissed. Her face changed and she looked like she was on the verge of crying. He realized what he was doing to her, sitting across from her and pretending like he didn’t feel anything. He was damn good at it too. He’d done it his entire life.

He held a hand up, hoping to stem her tide of emotion. He didn’t want to see her cry. Her tears had always been his undoing and he needed to remain strong. “Alright. I’ll shut up,” he told her gently.

She nodded. Her trembling hand reached up and wiped the tears at the corners of her eyes before they could spill over. “You didn’t give me that money because of what happened that night. You were going to give it to me anyway, weren’t you? Even after you found out Trace returned those photos.”

“I… no. Of course not.”

“Stop lying to me! Please! Just stop! You might have to lie to everyone else. You might have to put on an act and pretend like you’re some black hearted devil but we both know that’s not who you are. I saw a part of you that was tender and sweet and completely true. You’re a good man. You have a heart, just like everyone else.” She swallowed hard and brushed at tears again. “The truth is, so do I. I told myself that I should seduce you in order to extort money, but the reality is that I used that as a way to excuse myself from feeling anything. That night on the beach, I wanted you. I wanted you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life. It was the same every single time. Every night after that. I was losing my heart and I knew it. That, as much as anything else, was the reason I had to leave.”

The room went dead silent. Sarah’s shuddery breaths and his own shallow ones punctuated the silence. Finally, Cam sighed. He couldn’t just sit there, his heart pounding out of his chest and let himself hope. He knew how dangerous hope was. Only a fool let it guide him.

“So, you’re here why, Sarah? To tell me that you fell in love with me? To say thank you? To what?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered. “That’s the truth. I don’t know anything at all. I know that just looking at you makes my heart pound. It always does and always has. Ever since the first time I saw you. Being near you sets my body on fire. When I gave myself to you, it was like finding the purest bliss. That night on the beach, when I was trying to bring you back, I knew that if something happened to you I would lose a part of myself. I realized that you’re in my heart, whether I want you there or not.”

Cam forced himself to sound scornful. “So that’s your truth? That you don’t know anything. That sounds more like you know a whole hell of a lot.” She was more honest with her feelings than he’d ever allowed himself to be. He’d allowed himself to trust her for a second. That second led to a landslide of physical connection which led to… what? Did he love her? His pounding heart told him that it was true, yet he didn’t trust her. He was as wary of her as he’d always been.

“I don’t know what I feel. Maybe it’s the start of something amazing. On that island, neither of us had a reason to trust each other and yet, for a minute, even just a minute, we did. I felt something. If you can tell me honestly that you didn’t, then I’ll go. I promise I’ll stay out of your life.”

“That’s impossible.”

“What? That you could ever have felt something?” Her voice held the raw edge of heartbreak.

Cam slowly shook his head. He was an idiot. He felt like admitting the truth was the worst thing he could ever do, but he couldn’t stop himself. He might very well pay for it but couldn’t let Sarah walk out that door and out of his life a second time. “My life has been like hell since that chopper came and picked you up off my island. I haven’t been able to sleep or eat or function. I’m drowning in work because I just sit here all day and stare at the wall. All I see is your face. You’ve haunted me since the moment I set eyes on you. I’ve never felt this way about another person. When I was with you, when we were honestly one, I felt… alive. I knew what it was like to live for the first time. That’s all I know. Is that love? Obsession? Idiocy? Folly? I don’t know. Maybe all of them combined.”

As though his words were an invitation, Sarah shot out of her chair. She charged around the desk. He stood and met her half way. She launched herself against him. He wrapped his arms around her trembling form. He lowered his head to the crown of her hair and breathed in her fresh, clean scent.

“Cam,” she whispered. She pulled away just enough to look up at him. Her arm broke free and she reached up and gently traced the outline of his lips. “I don’t know what we’re doing. I don’t know what we are but if you’re with me I think I could be happy. The strangest thing is, I think I could make you happy as well. At least I would like to.”

His body ached when Sarah melted against him. Her touch detonated a painful hope inside his chest. “Did you end up losing your job because of me?”

Sarah blinked in confusion. “Yes, of course. I up and vanished and no one knew why. I have another position lined up. You don’t have to worry.”

“So you haven’t told anyone who really took you or what happened? You could press charges you know. You have more than enough evidence against me.”

“I would never do that. Not when my brother and I were at fault to start.”

“So I caused you to lose your job. I’m already ruining your life.”

She shook her head, a slow smile spreading over her face. “Not a chance. The job I have lined up is at a clinic working with addicts. Drugs. Alcohol. I think it was where I was supposed to end up all along.” Her hand fell to his chest and she rested it overtop his heat. “This is where I belong.”

“How can you be so sure? Maybe we’ll end up a disaster like everyone else.”

“No. No we won’t. You’re not like everyone else. You are Cameron Spade. The black, heartless devil who isn’t black or a devil. You’re certainly not heartless. In fact, you have one of the kindest, most forgiving hearts I know.”

Her words were a heady balm to a soul that he hadn’t realized was so wounded. He hadn’t realized the depth of his utter loneliness until she’d walked into his life and turned everything upside down.

“Then you don’t know many hearts, I’m afraid.”  Cam retorted. He couldn’t smother a grin.

Sarah leaned into him. She reached up and drew his face to hers. “I don’t need to. I have the only one I ever wanted right here. Say it’s mine Cam. Say it’s mine and I am yours.”

He smiled gently. He might be making a huge mistake but he doubted it. He finally realized that feelings weren’t a weakness. Blocking them out and walling yourself up, was. “I’m yours Sarah. And you’re mine. Just don’t try escaping again.”

“I won’t! I don’t need to.” Her eyes shone as her lips parted, eager to receive his kiss.

His lips slanted over hers and he kissed her like they wouldn’t have another chance. He kissed away the pain and uncertainty, the anger and frustration he’d felt over the past weeks. He kissed away her fears and his. He kissed her until nothing was left between them but the passion that they’d always known. He certainly had no idea what a future with Sarah by his side meant, but he was humbled, grateful and above all, excited to discover it with her.

 

The Ending to another Sweet Beginning