Isaiah
Where was a cop when you needed one? Isaiah ground his teeth so hard, as he focused on his rearview mirror, he thought he might break a tooth. He’d gladly step on the gas if he thought there might be a cop close enough to see him and pull him over. Anything that would help derail this conversation.
It wasn’t that the revelation that Kelli was hopelessly in love with him wasn’t one that left him breathless—speechless—even if it might not be so hopelessly anymore. She had moved out of her place over a year ago. But the thought of her being in love with him upped the danger of him giving into what he was feeling. Already he’d slipped and that was before she’d admitted that she was still in love with him—before she admitted that she hadn’t returned his calls because she’d been trying to protect him from her life. Now she was saying this entire detour of her life was because of him, because she was trying to get over him, and she still couldn’t. If he didn’t feel for her what he was trying so desperately not to, he’d surely think her insane—at the very least full of shit.
“Do me a favor.” Isaiah swallowed hard and stared straight ahead.
“What?” Her voice was almost inaudible, and he could see from his peripheral vision she, too, was staring straight ahead.
“Don’t tell me you’re in love with me.”
“It’s the truth.”
Isaiah’s teeth were definitely in serious danger of cracking. The enamel was long gone for sure. He took a deep breath before speaking again.
“I can’t be hearing that, Kel, so please . . .” He felt as desperate as when he’d begged her to tell him to stop yesterday. “Please don’t say it anymore.”
The deafening silence continued for what felt like forever, and then she finally spoke again, but only to whisper her one-word response. “Okay.”
Remembering her tears back home, both in Los Angeles and at his brother’s awards show, he dared not even glance at her. He didn’t even want to talk anymore for fear he might force her to speak and he’d hear any pain she might be feeling, the very pain he, too, was now feeling.
How the fuck did he end up in this predicament? He’d been too quick to agree to do this for as long as they needed him. No telling how long he’d be stuck with her now. Even worse, no telling how much longer he’d be able to hold off doing what he knew he shouldn’t.
It was almost as if his prayers were answered. About ten minutes before they got into Santa Fe, Kelli’s phone rang, breaking the painfully awkward silence.
“Hey, Matt.”
Just when Isaiah thought things couldn’t get any worse as he listened to her cheerfully talk about how much she was looking forward to seeing and hanging out with him, she ended the call with “I love you too.”
Continuing to gnash his teeth mercilessly, Isaiah fought the urge to ask her if she was hopelessly in love with Matt too. Instead, he took it as a gift. He’d use the irritation to fight any temptation he might have to believe she was actually still in love with him. Clearly, she was a very skilled liar. As convincingly genuine as her words had been, he wasn’t buying them now.
Ironically, her words from the night she’d said her final good-bye to him were further proof that she couldn’t possibly be in love with him like she was claiming. This entire past year they’d come back to haunt him.
The connection I felt after only one weekend with you is something I suspect will ruin it for every guy I meet from here on.
It had come to him every time he met someone new too, every time he’d hoped he’d find someone that would make him forget her but never did. It didn’t take long to realize she was the reason he’d found fault in every girl he met. There was never anything actually wrong with any of the girls he met. It was just that every connection he’d tried to make lacked that spark he’d felt so instantly with Kelli. He kept waiting for that thunderbolt he’d felt with her almost from the moment he’d laid eyes on her.
Sure, it could stand to reason that this friend she’d been so close to since she was thirteen was one she exchanged I love yous with. He’d heard of shit like that before, girls friend-zoning guys they claimed they loved so much as friends. But it was too much to stomach, and he still didn’t buy that nothing had ever happened between them. They were here today because, despite the danger she was putting herself in, she had to see him this weekend—had to be there for him for some stupid award. Just friends, his ass.
Squeezing the steering wheel, he pulled off the highway where she instructed him to. Now he welcomed the silence—needed it. He was afraid he might snap and say something he shouldn’t, if, aside from her directions, she said anything else to him.
They pulled into the circular driveway of the hotel, where the valet quickly opened their doors. Within minutes, they were standing at the reception counter as the attendant behind it looked up the available rooms for the night. To Isaiah’s surprise, Kelli asked for a two-room suite.
“Adjoining rooms are fine,” he said, suddenly panicked as memories of their perfect weekend together came to him.
The lady behind the counter glanced over her glasses at him then Kelli. “We have a two-room suite available.”
“Is it available for tomorrow night as well?” Kelli asked, ignoring Isaiah entirely.
“It is.”
“Good, can you change the single-room suite I’d reserved for tomorrow to this one as well?”
“I sure can.” The attendant continued to type away without looking up from her screen.
Isaiah was about to suggest the adjoining rooms again when a guy calling out for Raquel made them both turn to inquire. Two smiling guys walked up to them. The first was a tall lanky guy with a bit of a mop head. His light brown hair wasn’t long, just longer than most guys wore theirs, and long enough you could tell it was curly. He wore faded jeans, an equally faded T-shirt, and worn tennis shoes. Most notably, he appeared very young.
The other one, the shorter of the two, was a bit more clean cut. His dark hair was well-groomed, and he wore well-ironed khakis, a polo, and dress shoes. He also appeared to be the more mature of the two, not just because he was noticeably older than the other. The way he eyed Isaiah, as if taking him in with such interest the way Isaiah was doing to them, showed more than just curiosity. The other guy seemed far more relaxed.
“Hey.” She smiled silly, already opening her arms to greet them. “Hi, Gilbert.” She hugged the older-looking one.
It was a quick hug, but based on how much younger Matt looked and by the way Gilbert continued to peer at Isaiah when she introduced them, Isaiah already knew Gilbert was the one he’d hate most.
Until she hugged Matt.
The hug went on way too long. Then he squeezed her so hard she groaned. She then leaned her forehead against Matt’s, making every hair on Isaiah’s body stand at attention. Whatever she said to the guy, she said so softly Isaiah didn’t hear all of it. The only thing he’d been able to make out was her telling him to promise her something or some infuriating shit to that effect.
The lady behind the counter cleared her throat, getting the attention of all of them. “So, just to confirm. You did want the one suite for tonight and tomorrow night, correct?”
“Correct,” Isaiah said, even if the lady no doubt thought him an idiot now.
She was probably wondering why Kelli was standing there getting all cozy with Matt when she was getting a room with Isaiah. To Isaiah’s surprise, it wasn’t Matt but Gilbert who questioned it.
The moment they walked away with their room keys, Gilbert turned to Kelli. “You only got one room?”
“Yeah, we did,” Isaiah answered a question meant for Kelli again, but it couldn’t be helped.
This time he stared Gilbert down, unbelievably feeling the same thing he’d felt for the guy ogling Kelli at the farmers’ market yesterday. He almost wanted Gilbert to say something that would incite an even ruder response from Isaiah.
“Security reasons.” Kelli smiled. “Speaking of, he’ll need to be there with me tomorrow night, but he didn’t know about this, so he didn’t pack with a cocktail party in mind. You guys know where he could rent something around here?”
Matt named off a few places, even though Isaiah could’ve easily looked it up on his phone. To further his annoyance, Matt and Gilbert joined them in their suite. Once inside, Kelli let Isaiah know which room he could take.
“Check this place out, Raquel,” Matt said, walking behind the bar. “God, it feels weird calling you that.”
“You don’t have to unless we’re out in public, and that’s only if you’re yelling across the room or introducing me to anyone suspicious.” She rolled her eyes as if that were a ridiculous thought. “Otherwise you can stick with Kelli.”
Matt nodded, still taking in the suite. “You always have to be so fancy, Kelli. But then I guess it’s why I’ve always called you Fancy Face. I can only imagine what you’ll be wearing tonight. Something hot, I’m sure.”
Isaiah walked off to his bedroom without a word before he said something he might regret. He heard Kelli reply with something along the lines of this all being on the card her dad paid for. Isaiah didn’t hear it all because he closed the door behind him after walking into his room.
Setting his bag next to the bed, he sat down and took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair. Alright, so this was going to be trickier than he’d anticipated. He finally understood why his brother AJ was so incapable of holding anything back, especially when it came to anyone he had feelings for. This was something Isaiah obviously had in common with the guy. Only unlike his brother, he’d never experienced his fuse being so instantly lit.
One thing he knew without question. This had everything to do with Kelli and how uncharacteristic his reaction to her had been from the very beginning. The infuriating part about this whole thing was, just before this damn assignment, he’d finally accepted that he’d probably never meet anyone who made him feel what Kelli had, and he’d been okay with it. Damn it. He’d accepted settling for less than the magic he felt with her.
Now not only would he have to force himself to walk away and try to forget her all over again, this time he’d be walking away with the memory of her claiming she was in love with him—that she’d once been hopelessly in love with him. At this point it wasn’t just his concern about what Nathan and his family might have to say about his involvement with her. He couldn’t get involved with any girl he felt all this for, who had two male best friends she was clearly too chummy with for Isaiah to ever stomach. So his idea in the car that this, too, would help him refrain from giving into temptation had been spot on. He just hadn’t counted on how easily he’d feel provoked into reacting when seeing her interact with other guys.
He had to get a grip before he did something that’d give away how much he was weakening for her and giving into the belief that maybe she was in love with him. Just because Nathan had never actually had a relationship with her didn’t mean he could give into his feelings for her. That wasn’t happening.
~~~
Before Isaiah left the hotel room yesterday, to rent the damn suit he was now finishing getting into, he’d pulled Kelli aside and made her promise she wouldn’t leave the room for any reason until he got back.
“Don’t make my having come out here with you be a total waste of my time,” he’d said almost through his teeth.
Once again Isaiah had been helpless to even attempt to hide the foul mood caused by seeing her carry on with her friends and going toe to toe with Gilbert. “You need ice? Have your friends here go get it for you or call downstairs and have them bring it to you. You get hungry? Order room service, but whatever you do, don’t leave this room.”
To his surprise and utter frustration, she’d smiled sweetly. “Gotcha. Don’t leave the room for any reason and order room service. Sounds nice actually. Should I order you anything?”
“I’m good” was all he’d been able to say before stalking away from her as fast as he could.
Exasperated didn’t even begin to describe how he was feeling now. When he’d gotten back to the room last night, her friends were still there. They were lounging in the front room, drinking Starbucks coffee and eating pumpkin empanadas, a local late summer favorite the guys got special for her and she said was delicious. As annoying as it was to see her enjoying herself so much with them, it did serve a purpose. Not that he minded any of them thinking he was being an anti-social asshole, but it gave him a good reason to retire to his room early to give them their privacy, regardless of Kelli inviting him to join them.
The verdict was still out on who he hated more, Matt or Gilbert. Gilbert was just a few glares away from Isaiah unleashing his temper on him and asking him what the fuck his problem was. Matt, on the other hand, was who Kelli appeared to be more affectionate with. But the more Isaiah studied him, the more convinced he was that the guy was at least five years younger than she was. Since this was a cocktail party they were all attending tomorrow, Isaiah could only assume he was at least twenty-one; though he could easily pass for eighteen or nineteen.
Kelli was twenty-five, so it was odd that she knew him and was good friends when she was thirteen. That’d make this guy nine years old at the time. And that was only if Isaiah was correct in his estimation of the guy’s age now. If he were younger than that, she was good friends at thirteen with a six or seven-year-old boy, one she continued to stay in touch with even after he’d moved away.
It could be that the guy was just skinny and even a little goofy-looking. He might be one of those nerdy-looking guys that appear to be in their late teens even in their thirties. Gilbert, on the other hand, was a different story. If Isaiah had to guess, he was at least Kelli’s age, if not older. He also had far more of a grown man’s attitude than the somewhat sheepish Matt.
Either way both were equally galling to see her enjoying herself with. He was just glad tonight was the last night he’d have to put up with this and tomorrow they’d be out of there, first thing in the morning.
Done putting on his tie, he took one last inspection in the mirror. “Good enough,” he muttered before walking out of his private bathroom.
Taking in a deep breath and exhaling slowly, Isaiah adjusted his cufflinks as he walked out into the front room because it was just about time to leave. The day had been one frustrating moment after the other, starting with the knock at the hotel door that morning. Isaiah had been quick to get it because he was doing his job, only to be met by a room service attendant who delivered breakfast. He’d forgotten just how big a breakfast girl Kelli was. She said she hadn’t been sure what to order him, so she’d ordered several different items. Each one brought back a distinct memory of the several different breakfasts they’d shared once upon a time. They’d managed a pleasant enough breakfast, but Isaiah didn’t want pleasant. It was too dangerous. Then later her friends had once again dropped in and brought them lunch.
Kelli explained they’d raved the night before about this new place in the area they’d recently discovered with the best chili in all of New Mexico. Isaiah had tried to leave the room again as he’d done last night, but they’d brought him food too. If it hadn’t been because this to-die-for chili came in individual large corn bread bowls and they’d brought him one, he would’ve just passed. But he felt bad, so he thanked them and had a seat at the small dining table in the suite with them.
Gilbert hadn’t laid on the stink eye quite as blatantly as he’d done the day before, but he still wasn’t the most welcoming. There was definitely a story there with this guy, only Isaiah had no intention of questioning Kelli about either of her friends again. He had one goal now he was determined to stick with: get tonight and this assignment over with and be done with Kelli once and for all. He was a grown-ass man. He could do this and walk away with a clear conscience, not to mention with his heart intact, since Kelli’s relationship with these guys was still very much questionable.
It had been interesting to find out a few things about her he didn’t know. Like why’d she’d been wearing the headset the day he showed up and that she’d been on the phone with both of these guys. Apparently, they were into some online game they played against many others. Another thing he’d been reminded of by Matt, something she’d touched on that first weekend, was how insanely competitive Kelli had always been. Though she tried to play it down now, neither Matt nor Gilbert let her off the hook.
“It’s not just with the online game,” Matt had elaborated. “She’s like that when it comes to everything. You say the word competition and her eyes light right up.”
Seeing her laugh about it, a bit embarrassed and still trying to deny she was that bad, amused Isaiah. But after a few spoonfuls into his chili today, he’d begun to cringe every time he heard Kelli’s sweet laughter—not that it wasn’t pleasant enough and normally it’d have him smiling silly in response. It was the way Gilbert gawked at her the whole time, sometimes gazing at her for extended periods in a way that just turned Isaiah’s stomach.
After the third deliberate glare he’d assaulted Gilbert with, Isaiah decided to excuse himself. The moment he’d recovered and gotten his shit together again as he kept saying he was going to, he’d thanked them, saying he’d finish his bowl of chili in the room. He had a call to make.
Isaiah continued into the front room now cautiously—almost dreadfully. It was no secret that the year he’d been apart from Kelli had done nothing to lessen his feelings for her. So far, she’d respected his wishes and not pushed for anything more. But as rude as he’d gotten with her in the past two days, he wouldn’t even blame her if she walked out tonight in some short painted-on dress that might double as lingerie: a tiny black or even bright demonic red dress that showed plenty of cleavage. It wouldn’t be anything new to Isaiah, but seeing Kelli in something like that might have him on his knees in two seconds flat.
The moment Isaiah saw her he froze. He’d just walked into the front room when he glanced at Kelli’s open door and saw her walk by it.
She glanced out and smiled when she saw him then walked out into the front room. “Wow, you look nice.”
“Thank you. So do you.” he said, refusing to say what he really wanted to say.
She looked fucking amazing. Only it wasn’t at all what he’d been expecting. The dress was long-sleeved for starters, and while the neckline did show some skin, it was mostly the very tops of her milky white shoulders, her neck, and delicate collar bone. There was no plunging neckline. The snug-fitting, but hardly painted on, dress draped just past her knees and was an elegant champagne color.
The instant he was able to gather his thoughts, he felt like an idiot. This was even worse than what he was expecting. Even the sweet far-more-innocent smile did so much more damage to his self-control than yesterday’s playful one. Her hair wasn’t a big mess of sexy curls or even a sleek long shiny sheath as he’d expected. It was up in a simple but elegant twist with a few loose wisps, which fell just around her ears.
“Thanks,” she said, walking behind the bar. “I’m almost ready.” She pulled out a wine goblet and the bottle of wine from the fridge. “Would you like a drink before we get going?”
“No, thanks, I’m driving,” he said, almost too quickly.
“As big as you are, one glass shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I’m also on duty,” he said even more firmly. “This isn’t a social outing for me, Kel”—he caught himself and added—“li,” the more formal-sounding way to address her.
So far he’d thought it too weird to refer to her as Raquel. But if he had to, so she’d know he was in no way getting chummy with her, he just might start.
She poured herself a glass and shrugged. “It’s not like I’d snitch on you if you had a drink, but have it your way. I’ll be right out. I just need to move a few things from my purse to my clutch.”
As soon as she was out of the room, he regretted being such a hard ass about taking a drink. He sure as hell could have used one right about then.
By the time they drove into the parking lot of the restaurant after an entire ride of taking in the perfume she’d worn—something that wasn’t as merciful as her choice of attire that night—he knew he was going to have to have at least one drink that evening. He needed something that would calm his already rebelling cock. Only he wasn’t too sure it wouldn’t be counterproductive.
“I don’t want anyone to know I have a bodyguard,” she explained as they drove through the parking lot. “I’m not as close to any of Matt’s other friends, so I don’t need them to know my business. This is a cocktail party. I know you’re on duty, but at least hold one and pretend you’re drinking. Decide now what our story will be once we’re in there. Remember they all know I’m from out of town, so you have to be somewhat close to have come with me tonight. Cousin? Boyfriend?” To his surprise, she giggled. “Oh, I know what’ll cover all angles. You can be my recovering alcoholic gay bestie.”
“Your cousin is fine,” he said dryly.
Even hearing her giggle at her own joke hadn’t snapped him out of the mood he was in now. This was going to be one long night.