The conversation with Mack was on my mind as I pulled into the drive at the little beach shack, taking a sleeping Piper and putting her in her crib. I had to change my life. I needed things to be different, but how? How did you juggle being a parent who only got to see your child half of the time?

And the thing was, I wanted to talk about it. I wanted to ask Everly what she thought I should do, if she had an opinion on it all.

I sunk down onto the couch, pausing with my thumb in mid-air. Should I ask her advice as me or as Giselle?

Me, I decided, my thumb landing on the text message icon. Honesty was important to her. I should put my masquerading-as-Giselle days to bed.

Cameron: How’s the garden?

She didn’t reply right away, so I turned on the TV, settling on some reality television show where a group of guys fought for the attention of one woman. But my focus wasn’t on who got the rose. Instead, I found myself scrolling through photos I’d taken ever since the day I picked Piper up. Piper. Piper playing. Piper smiling. Piper looking sad. Thoughtful. Somehow, I’d captured it all, and I wondered when I stopped treating her as a chore and when she became a child. My child.

An hour later and I still didn’t have a reply from Everly, so I decided to send her a message from Giselle. Purely because I wanted her professional opinion.

Giselle: Hey, are you around?

Immediately, dots bounced across the screen as she typed out a reply.

Everly: Sure. What’s up?

Wow. Well, that sure made things clear. She really was avoiding me.

Maybe my confession at the park had been too much. She’d seemed okay at the time, but maybe she wasn’t ready to hear all those stories about my past. Perhaps now that she knew I hadn’t planned for Piper in my life, she didn’t want me to be in hers. All she’d wanted was a child, and I’d stumbled into parenthood on a whiskey and a promise.

Still, I typed out my question. It was like I was addicted. I needed her in my life.

Giselle: I was wondering if you had any thoughts on custody arrangements with kids. Do you think spending time split between two parents is bad for a child’s sense of stability?

More dots bounced across the screen, and I pictured her, her brow furrowed in concentration as she bit that plump bottom lip of hers. That lip I kissed a little more than a week ago. That sweet taste of berries and mint in my mouth.

I wanted to kiss her again.

I hated that I wanted to kiss her again.

It’s not going to happen, I told myself. Clearly, she was avoiding me. And why wouldn’t she? Kiss a girl. Introduce her to your father while he’s having an episode. Confess how much you still love your dead wife, and tell her that you had a child born from one night of pain.

I scrubbed a hand over my jaw. What was I thinking? That wasn’t just fast—that was the sort of speed Superman would need to blink twice to follow.

I needed to fix things with her. Make things right.

The problem was, I didn’t know what “right” was. Here I was, trying to help my father make sense of life in the present when I couldn’t even seem to do so myself.

My phone buzzed with a preview of a new message.

Wayne: Hey, babe. You got a new FB account?

I frowned. Must have been one of Giselle’s friends.

I didn’t click through and open the message. Figured it was better leaving it marked as unread. Who Giselle spoke to and what she did in her own time was entirely up to her.

I really should close the account down. I’d gotten through the first hard part of getting used to life with Piper. Any problems I had now, I could usually find solutions for on Google and take a logical guess as to which answer seemed right.

Except Everly.

She remained a mystery I just couldn’t unravel.

My phone buzzed with another message, and this time, I clicked through.

Everly: I know it’s hard when you’re trying to work custody out, but you love your little girl. I can tell from the way you research, and ask questions in the group like you do. I think that with the right parents, both committed to a good life for the child, split custody can work really well. You want to be in your baby’s life—you deserve to be in her life. As long as her father is on side, I don’t see it being a problem at all.

Even though she didn’t know it was me, even though she was clueless as to my real identity, her words sent warmth buoying through my chest. Damn it, I wanted to be a good parent. I wanted to be someone Piper could count on, who’d take care of her no matter the circumstance.

Because I didn’t know when, but at some point during this crazy roller-coaster, at some point after I took her under my care, I discovered that there was more to this. More to the everyday. More to life.

I wanted to be there for Piper.

I wanted to be there for Everly.