Time froze around me, and I closed my eyes at the sound of Lucy’s voice in the doorway. Oh, for the power to rewind time and force my mother to ask me a different question. Or for that matter, have a mother who wasn’t such a psycho to ask if I was eating frozen pizzas because I was having sex.
“Oh,” my mother said faintly, her hand fluttering around her throat.
Lucy sidled up next to me and wrapped her arm around my waist. “Sorry, Mrs. Lockwood. I hope that’s not too forward.”
“Of—of course not, dear.” Her voice was an octave higher than normal, and I finally felt like I could breathe again.
“It’s just,” she paused, her other hand snaking up the front of my shirt and tracing the line in between my abs. “I can’t help myself, if you know what I mean.”
Frantically, I knocked her hand away, but did it deter her?
Not in the slightest.
Next she dropped the hand around my waist and it dug into the back pocket of my pants, cupping my butt and squeezing. Then, purring like a content cat, Lucy nuzzled her head against me. “And he always smells so good. Like he bathes in straight pheromones.”
“Lucy,” I said as calmly as possible, “I’m sure my mom doesn’t want to hear about our sex life.”
My mom choked on a cough, like she was spitting up a hairball. “N-no, of course I’m interested in your … relationship, Bartholomew.”
“You know I don’t want you to call me that, Mom.”
Her hands started fluttering around her, and she made a sharp pivot toward the cupboards. When she pulled one open and took a can out, I wondered if she might be having an actual mental breakdown, in my kitchen. In front of Lucy.
“Mom, what are you doing?”
“I just don’t know what you’re thinking. Eating all of this awful stuff.” She snatched a bag of pretzels and made a sound of such soul-deep disgust that I almost laughed. “Empty calories. There’s no possible way this can help you maintain your energy.”
“Oh,” Lucy interrupted. “Trust me. His energy ain’t a problem.” She waved her free hand in the general area between her legs and I pinched my eyes shut. That’s it. I was having a nightmare. A stress-induced nightmare in which Lucy was discussing my sexual stamina with the woman who would most likely end up in a padded cell because of it. “I could use a break, if you know what I’m sayin’.”
“Lucy,” I said in a low, warning tone. When I gave her a quick look, my mom slammed a cupboard door shut. Lucy almost flinched, but then she gave me a smile. A wide, happy, tongue trapped in her teeth smile, and it was so unguarded and unexpected that I barely caught myself from smiling back.
Without a doubt, she was doing exactly what was necessary to get my mom out of here. By traumatizing her for life.
In the split second after my mom slammed the door, Lucy and I stared at each other. Her smiling, me slowly realizing that in this moment, for right now, I knew what it felt like to know that she had my back. She wasn’t going to spill this secret we had; she was protecting herself, yes. But she was also protecting me. By making me feel like a man.
And then she winked at me, just a small enough wink that it was only for me. It wasn’t for show, and it was exactly what I needed.
“So,” my mom cut in shrilly. “I’m going to need to know how you two met.”
“If you ask nicely.”
Both women gave me a sharp, surprised look, but Lucy let out a soft puff of air. My mom straightened her face, which wasn’t easy considering how much Botox was injected into her skin.
“Fine.” Her hands brushed down the front of her suit and she squared her shoulders. “I’d be simply thrilled if you’d please be kind enough to tell me how you met this charming young woman.”
I lifted my eyebrow at her, and she stared right back, unwilling to take back her obviously patronizing description of Lucy. Though it wasn’t wrong. Lucy was a lot of things, and I couldn’t deny that being charmed by her came easily now that I knew her better.
Lucy’s hand caressed my chest, her fingernail drawing a sharp line over my heart. “Oh, let me tell her.”
My thumb and pointer finger came up and gripped her chin, so I could tilt her face up. Surprise lit up her eyes when I leaned down and whispered my lips over hers. “Go ahead, princess.”
Her sharp inhale zipped down my spine, an inconvenient transfer of sexual energy during a game that shouldn’t have been so fun to play. But it was.
Which is why I kissed her.
It was quick, only a moment with our lips pressed together. But the fact that I’d done it in front of my mother, this purposeful display of affection, shifted something in her eyes. The same shift I felt twisting my heart around, shifting into a new shape. Something stronger and bigger than what it had been before.
Before Lucy.
Lucy pulled back and sighed. Also not for show. I knew this because I’d heard the same sigh when I took a bite of the skin over her heart the night before, then soothed it with my tongue.
But she blinked away the haze I’d thrown over us with my impromptu kiss, aiming a bright smile at my mom, whose eyes were wide with unconcealed horror and curiosity.
“It was on a boat. Where we met.” Lucy stroked my side and gave me a dreamy look that almost made me laugh out loud. “He was so different than the men I knew. And one night, I was so upset after dinner that I ran to the bow of the ship, just to stare out over the water. I felt … desperate. Trapped.”
Recognition hit, and I grinned at her. “That’s right. And I followed you, because I was worried. You were so beautiful when I’d seen you earlier on the upper deck of the boat.”
“What boat? In Lake Michigan?”
We ignored my mom’s question.
“See, I stepped up on the railing, just for a better look, and when J— err, X got close enough to help me over, my foot slipped.”
My mom almost fainted, her hand reaching out to grip the counter. “Bartholomew, what were you thinking? You could have fallen over with her.”
“He was perfect,” Lucy said, never tearing her eyes from mine. “He was brave. Calm under pressure, and he saved my life.” The double meaning of her words smoothed out her face, softened her bottle green eyes. “I know that without him, I wouldn’t be here.”
My mom sank against the counter. “Oh how awful. This is awful.”
Had I saved her life? In the insanity of the last two days, I’d never thought of it that way. Ronald could have done any number of horrible things to her. Raped her. Beaten her. And yes, he could have killed her, especially if she hadn’t turned up with the money she owed him.
The vicious red marks that were gone from her neck were proof of how far he could have gone, and it made me reach down to thread my fingers through hers. She squeezed, and I squeezed back.
“It wasn’t awful, Mom.” I spared her a quick glance to make sure she was still conscious. “It was the most exciting night of my life.”
Lucy smiled. “Of course, that was before the ship sank.”
“What?” My mom fanned her face furiously. “It sank? I never heard about this.”
“Don’t worry, Mrs. Lockwood.” Lucy placed a hand on her chest and gave my mom the most sincere look I’d ever seen on her face. “Somehow, I found a door floating in the water, and as I’m no selfish bitch, I moved my ass aside so that he could fit on there with me. There was plenty of room for both of us.”
“I—I think I need some water,” my mom said faintly. Her face was white as a sheet, and I started to feel a little bad for her. Just a little. Maybe two percent. So I took pity on her, because she’d be on the phone with the Coast Guard as soon as she left the house if I wasn’t careful.
“The ship didn’t sink, Mom. Lucy just likes to get a little dramatic about how we met.”
“Oh, but I can’t help it. It felt so … epic. Like the ship of dreams.”
I covered my snort with a cough. “Right. But either way. That’s how we met, but nothing sank. Just a classic tale of two people who were never supposed to meet.”
And that was the truth.
Lucy and I were never supposed to meet. But we did. If I hadn’t tried Watkins, if he hadn’t forced me to try the group therapy, we never would have met.
Ronald still would have shown up at her apartment. Still would have hurt her.
He was dead. So what. It was at my hand, and given the opportunity, I would hit him again. The intensity of that knowledge roared through me like a wildfire. Unhindered and destructive, stripping away the reality of what my life had been like before she came into it. Boring and predictable, which was how I liked it.
Since Lucy fell backwards on that chair, I hadn’t been able to predict a single thing that happened next. And not only was I still alive, but I felt like more of man: stronger and smarter.
The fire that was Lucy was the best kind of destructive force; she burned in my lungs when I breathed her in, and I loved it.
“Well,” my mom said faintly, straightening from the counter and taking a deep breath. “I think I’m going to go.”
“Are you sure you can’t stay for breakfast?” Lucy asked. I elbowed her in the side and she elbowed me right back. “X makes the best French toast with that gluten-free, grain-free stuff you put in the freezer. Doesn’t taste like cardboard at all.”
“No. No, that’s quite all right, Lucy.” My mom’s eyes took in Lucy’s disheveled state again, with slightly less condescension than out in the garage. “It was … nice to meet you.”
“The pleasure was mine, I assure you.”
My mom gave us a tight smile and then walked out, going through the front door as opposed to the garage door. When it clicked shut, Lucy and I remained just as we’d been while my mom was there. My arm around her shoulders, and hers tight around my waist.
“What a crazy ass bitch,” Lucy said. “It’s a miracle you’re so normal.”
That’s when I knew my life would never be the same after Lucy, because even after what she’d just witnessed, she had the ability to completely, insanely, turn me on.
And she was about to find that that out. Hard.