Lucy and I slept all day, until the light peeking through the wooden blinds on my bedroom window was gray and pink and purple from the setting sun. Because we’d fallen into bed after a half-hearted attempt at toweling off, her hair dried in crazy kinks and curls. Neither of us wore clothes, only each other and the sheets to cover us.
Waking with her like that felt odd yet amazing. I’d never woken up to the sight of rumpled hair and the sleek, soft limbs of a woman; the curves that I’d mapped and memorized with my hands pressed up against my skin.
In many ways, Lucy was a first for me. The first woman to truly see the extent of the anxiety, the nerves and panic that I often felt like I couldn’t control. The first woman to be in my home, my sanctuary to the extent that she was. The first to witness the crazy of my mother and not only did she not pity me, she stood up for me.
The intensity of all those things combined into a terrifying, overwhelming wave of affection as I watched her sleep. Her eyelashes were long and curved over her cheeks, her pink lips open slightly as she breathed.
In the shower, she’d told me she wasn’t a princess, but she didn’t realize that it wasn’t because of her actions, the way she spoke or held herself. It was how she looked. Lucy had the appearance of someone found between the pages of a Disney storybook, sweet and innocent.
The fact that she was the exact opposite of the way she looked is what made her that much more fascinating to me. Lying like I was, with my arm over her back where she was snuggled into my chest, I couldn’t imagine a time that Lucy would ever not fascinate me.
Using one finger, I dragged the tip up the bumps on her spine until she started to stretch. When she nuzzled her face into my chest, she purred like a little cat which made me smile.
“What time is it?” she asked in a sleep-thick voice.
“Not sure. Close to sunset.”
“Hmm. That was a hell of a nap.” Lucy set her chin on my chest and grinned at me. “You give good cuddle, Xerox.”
The name made me laugh, which made my smile widen even further. Why I hadn’t told her yet was still a little unclear. First it was because it drove her crazy, one of the few things I could control when it came to her, and now I wasn’t quite sure. A simple Google search would show her what my middle name was.
“I don’t normally.” When I didn’t clarify, she lifted her eyebrows. “Give good cuddle.”
Her hands slid down my abs and I tilted my chin up the ceiling to try and steady my breathing. Those clever, talented little fingers didn’t go any further, merely settled for a slow stroke over my skin. Up and down, up and down. Never progressing to where I really wanted her.
“So I bring it out in you, huh?”
“I suppose.”
“Of course, that shouldn’t be surprising for such an excellent faux-girlfriend like myself.” She gave me a knowing look when I grimaced.
“Yeah, sorry about that. It was the only thing I could think of. The last time she was here she told me that I’m her only hope for the future until I provide her with grandchildren.”
“Yeesh. No pressure, right?”
“Nope.” I stretched my arms over my head and groaned at the pops in my back. “Now what should we do?”
Lucy popped up with a bright grin, completely unconcerned by her nakedness. What a sight, too. My fingers itched to reach for her. “Oh do I know what we can do.”
“What?”
“Rent a jackhammer!” She raised her fists in the air like she just won the Boston Marathon. “Oh hell yeah, I’m gonna hammer the hell outta that jack.”
I smothered my grin and braced my hands behind my head. “Why exactly?”
Lucy rolled her eyes. “So we can rip up some concrete in your garage, bury Ron under there, and then pour concrete back on top of him. I mean, you’ll have to live in this house until you die, just to make sure that no one decides to do some demolition.”
No pressure, indeed. Regarding her carefully, I knew it should have scared me— terrified me to the dark depths of my soul, actually— that she was so excited about the prospect. Instead, I couldn’t help but marvel at her. Lucy hopped off the bed and skipped to the bathroom, her ass on full display. When she disappeared into the bathroom, I closed my eyes and sighed in contentment.
Wasn’t life a bitch?
This was what brought the first real feeling of happiness into my sad life. An accidental homicide of a drug dealer and a crazy-hot, plain-crazy felon who made me see stars in bed. For the first time in months, I wasn’t immediately figuring out how I could go about my day without dying in a car accident or contracting Ebola. Because of Lucy.
The woman in question padded back into the bedroom, my shirt from yesterday hanging off her shoulders, looking too damn appealing for her own good.
Her phone was in her hands again, and she was typing away.
“I should probably do that kind of stuff on my phone.”
She looked up. “How come?”
“Because no doubt you’re on some FBI watch list.”
“Ha, ha, ha. You’re funny.” Lucy hopped back on the bed, bouncing back up on her knees like her excitement was buoying her up against her own will.
“So this is really our best course of action?” I scratched my chest and her eyes tracked every move of my fingers. Her pink tongue darted out to slick over her lower lip and I felt my skin tighten up. “Lucy?”
“Right.” She blinked rapidly and focused on her phone again. “Yeah, I think so. Less chance of anyone finding him, it’s easy for us to contain the area while we open up the garage floor. And you won’t have to file a permit with the city to do the work since it’s not going to be more than eighteen inches above grade, and you’re not moving a sidewalk in order to pour it.”
“Someone did their research,” I mumbled.
“All good criminals do, mister.”
It wasn’t the first time she’d mentioned that. In fact, before our spectacular shower, she said it more than once. If she thought that would be enough to deter me from feeling something for her, she didn’t know me very well. Not only did I not care what my parents thought about me, I’d revel in the chance to put them on the ropes a bit. I’d never had anything in my life that warranted it.
Beyond that, I was fully aware that people always had some sort of dark side, even if it didn’t manifest the way that Lucy’s and mine had. Every single day, people lied, cheated or stole. To their friends and family. To complete strangers. Just because they didn’t get handcuffed didn’t mean they weren’t guilty of some sort of sin.
Maybe they did it because it made them feel powerful, some thin rope of control over an out-of-control life. Lucy and I had our own reasons for the laws we’d broken, for the sins we’d committed.
On the spectrum of right and wrong, everyone held some bit of wrong within them. Ours just happened to be further down the scale than most. That didn’t bother me, and I didn’t think it bothered her.
“Let me see your phone,” I told her, holding out my hand.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t think you should be looking that shit up on your own phone.”
Her eyes narrowed and she pulled the phone out of my reach. “Oh please. They’re not monitoring me. I’m a small fry in the grand scheme of things, Xena.”
Ah, an opening. I’d taken the few that she’d laid out, but I had to yet to receive any information in return. I might know what Lucy tasted like, but I didn’t know what lay beneath the surface.
“How’d you hook up with Ronald anyway?”
Lucy stared at me, wheels and cogs turning behind her eyes as she processed my question, probably processed my intent. Then she scratched at her elbow and blinked away. “The way most aspiring drug dealers do. Needed money. Knew the wrong kind of people who could help.”
It was clear that she was uncomfortable in the slight hunch to her shoulders, the way she wouldn’t look me in the eye. How did I explain my fascination with her without sounding like an obsessive freak?
There wasn’t a way. Not yet.
Fascinated I might be, but I wasn’t completely ignorant in how to deal with a woman with no support system to speak of, who probably had to fend for herself.
“And the rest was history,” I said when she didn’t add anything else to her meager offering.
“That’s what they say.” She sighed and went back to looking at her phone. I lunged forward and grabbed it, startling a squeak out of her. “Hey. Give it back.”
“Tell me more.”
Her answering glare was adorable on her angry face. “Give me my phone.”
Instead of doing that, I held the phone away from her when she tried to snatch it from me. “More.”
“Isn’t that my line?” she asked coyly, tilting her head and biting down on her bottom lip.
“Don’t try and distract me. It won’t work.”
Challenge accepted. I could see it in her eyes, how they instantly heated, how they raked over my chest and stomach, to where the sheet covered the lower part of my body. The quickly awakening lower part of my body.
Lucy got onto her hands and knees and slowly, she crawled over my body so that she could swing one leg over me. When she settled on my lap, my initial instinct was to grip her hips with my hands. But I wasn’t giving her the phone.
Sitting up as straight as possible, Lucy used both hands to pull my shirt up and off her body. The smooth motion of uncovering her skin made her hips circle over me in a way that made me suck in a breath.
“Devil woman.”
Lucy smiled and leaned down over me, her long hair falling in a curtain around us as her breasts pressed against my chest. Her lips brushed mine, and when she pulled back, I couldn’t even be ashamed that I followed for another taste. “Don’t ever forget it.”
Her fingers wove into my hair at the back of my head and she took my mouth, sucking my tongue into hers. I groaned and dropped the phone so I could put my hands on her body. They didn’t cover enough space, didn’t take in as much skin as I wish they could. More than anything, I wanted to cover her completely with myself, so that every part of her was touching me.
This was how addictions started. Like Lucy had tied something around my arm and injected herself into my bloodstream, I would crave her long after she left my bed. She’d leave me with withdrawals, with a sickness that I’d wish to God that I could rip from inside of me, but would be powerless to do so.
Lucy didn’t go for the phone after I let it go, just kept kissing me, touching me and feeding the addict within.
After a few long moments of the torture she was inflicting, I rolled us over so that I could return the favor.