Chapter 37
Madison
There I was, looking at myself in the mirror, trying to gain control of my emotions. The painting was dried just in time, thanks to the fans in the studio, and I had run back to the apartment and showered and changed. Sarah loved my outfit, telling me I was a vision and a stylish creature, whatever that was supposed to mean. In reality, I picked a black collard, short sleeve sweater, a black skirt, black tights, and mary janes. I put on a string of white pearls and a pin on my shirt that was a peacock. It had been my grandmother’s and then my mother’s pin.
I always wondered how I would feel on this day when I finally had my own show. Now, I knew, completely terrified, nervous as hell, and not ready to face the critics. If my first show had been at Lee’s, no one would have even known except his small following of rich people. Sarah told me it was the best thing that could have happened not having my first show with Lee. She said that an artist’s first show had the ability to make or break them. It had the ability to really show their talent or become a dark mark on their resume. I had no idea that having a show somewhere like Lee’s could have ruined my career. Suddenly, I was thankful he was such a dick.
I picked up my phone and scrolled through all the messages from Charlotte and Zach, motivating me and congratulating me. I couldn’t wait until both of them were here. I knew I would feel better immediately. I hadn’t realized my nerves would be so terrible. I actually considered running next door and taking a shot of whiskey, but I figured greeting people with liquor breath probably wasn’t the best idea, though at that point, I would have done just about anything to feel a little better.
I took in a deep breath and pulled out my makeup, touching up my lips and eyes and staring at myself in the mirror. My hair was curled into large curls, and it cascaded over my shoulders. I looked like a typical artist, and I only wished I had the personality and lack of nerves that these artists usually showed. Maybe they were just good actors, really nervous inside, but keeping their cool on the outside. I shrugged, figuring that whatever happened, I would make it through. The show was finally here, and after everything I had been through, this should be easy as pie. I put my makeup away and grabbed my purse, coming out of the bathroom and sticking my stuff in my cubby so I wouldn’t have to carry it around with me.
I looked down at my watch and realized I was down to ten minutes. Ten minutes until the people that judged art and made or demolished an artist’s career walked through the doors to check out my pieces. I figured I should probably get up front, so I dragged myself forward, exiting the back and smiling as Sarah approached me. She was very excited, but I could tell she was ready to get this show started.
“So,” she said, pulling me to the center of the room. “I moved the new piece right there because it has to be one of the best pieces I have ever seen in this gallery. I don’t know what this piece is about, but I can sense the raw emotion and the passion in every stroke of the brush. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the piece. Seriously, Madison. It’s absolutely amazing.”
“Thank you.” I giggled, feeling very uncomfortable with all the compliments. “I finally got my passion back, I think.”
“Well, when you hadn’t finished the piece on Wednesday, I was more than terrified.” She laughed. “But then I came in to see this, and I realized that I will never again question you.”
“Please don’t say that,” I replied. “I need a push sometimes, just like anyone else.”
“Well, whoever pushed you for this one, they deserve a handshake,” she said, winking and walking off.
I stood at the front of the studio, watching as the others scurried around readying the place for the group already starting to form out front. I turned around and watched as the doorman allowed Zach to walk in early. Immediately, I let out a heavy breath, and I went running across the gallery, wrapping my arms around Zach’s neck and squeezing. He leaned into me, pressing his head into my neck and letting out a sigh.
“Hey, there,” he said, pulling back and kissing me on the lips. “You doing okay?”
“I am still alive,” I said with a nervous chuckle. “Barely, but I am here.”
“So, show me this special piece I’ve been impatiently waiting for all day,” he said, laughing.
I took him by the hand and guided him to the center of the gallery where the painting was strung from the ceiling. I stood there with my hands folded nervously in front of me, waiting and watching for his reaction. He studied every inch of the painting, from top to bottom before saying anything. It was probably the most nerve wracking several minutes of my life.
I watched his eyes move over the streams of colors cascading across the canvas. The colors swirled around, intertwining and mixing together in a stream of ecstasy in paint. As you followed the colors upward, you could see them start to take form. Standing back from the large painting, you can see two people intertwined, their eyes closed, their lips touching, and their bodies swirling down into one ribbon of color. I didn’t think I had to explain where my mind was when I painted that, and from the look on Zach’s face, he knew exactly where it came from.
“I’m speechless,” he said, shaking his hand. “I absolutely love everything about this.”
“You have to say that.” I chuckled.
“I would hang this in my house,” he said. “And it’s just beautiful.”
I turned toward him and smiled, leaning forward and kissing him sweetly. We stared into each other’s eyes for several minutes until Sarah walked up to the front and clapped her hands for everyone’s attention. We turned toward her, and my nerves shot into my stomach. Standing behind her, waiting to get in, was the largest crowd I had ever seen for a gallery showing.
“Okay everyone, this is it! Everyone give Madison your luck and wishes for her first show ever. We are so happy to have you.” Sarah looked at me and smiled. Everyone was clapping and my cheeks were blood red. “All right, let’s do this thing.”
Sarah turned to the doors and clicked them open, smiling as she shook people’s hands as they entered. I didn’t want to be right up front, so I stood to the side, watching people’s faces as they first got a glimpse of the main painting. It was worth seeing everyone’s faces as they moved along through the gallery, looking at every piece. Some were contemplative, some were excited, but no one that I saw had anything negative to say about my art. I perused the crowd, stopping and speaking to different individuals, telling them about my work, answering questions, and awkwardly taking compliments. People really seemed to genuinely like my work, and even the reporters there to cover the opening had a smile on their faces.
“Madison,” Sarah said, waving me over. She was standing next to a middle-aged man. He was tall, with glasses, and very nicely dressed. “This is Bryan with the New York Post. He would like to ask you a few questions.”
“Sure,” I said nervously, shaking his hand and walking to the side.
“Nice to meet you,” he said, smiling. “First, I want to congratulate you on your first show. I know it's very nerve wracking.”
“Thank you.” I chuckled. “It has definitely been an adventure.”
“I’m just going to ask a few questions,” he said, pulling out his recorder. “Madison, this center piece is absolutely stunning. Can you tell us what it stands for?”
“Thank you.” I smiled. “Well, it came to me at a time I thought I had nothing left, creative-wise. Life had really just kicked me down, but then you find those moments in life. Those moments that get your heart racing, get your spirit up and running, and you find inspiration out of the most unexpected situations. For me, this piece is love. But more than that, it is finding a place in life that is centered, intertwined, and together. For me, another person had a lot to do with that, but for the person looking at the piece, it can really represent any number of things.”
“And did you recently fall in love?”
I blushed at the question. “I did.” I laughed. “But in reality, I didn’t just fall in love with the man. I fell in love with life all over again. I grew as a person and as a woman, really. I faced a lot of fears and came out on the other side with a renewed hope for the future.”
“Now, anyone who sees your name in the art world knows you recently went through something very traumatic with your prior boss,” he said knowingly. “Has that affected your art, your style, and your inspiration?”
“It has.” I smiled. “At first, it took it from me. As if Lee stealing my pride and my feeling of safety wasn’t enough, I let him take my creativity, too. But, just as I walked on the brink of destruction, I chose to move forward, instead of standing still, and that is where this piece came from. From the ashes, I guess you could call it.”
“I like that.” He smiled, writing it down. “From the ashes.”
“Everyone in life finds hard times,” I said, shaking my head and looking over at Zach. “It’s how we pull ourselves from the ashes that really tells us what we have inside.”
“Thank you,” he replied. “You are an inspiration and so is this show. I’ll send you a copy of the article when it is done.”
“I appreciate it,” I said, shaking his hand and watching him walk over to his photographer.
I meandered through the crowd until I reached Zach’s side. He bumped me with his hip and smiled. I shook my head, looking at the line coming from the service desk where people were purchasing my work. I couldn’t believe that everything had gone this smoothly. I reached out and took a glass of champagne from a passing tray and sipped it, hoping that every show I had in the future felt this good. They had done an absolutely amazing job presenting my work, and I realized that not only was I going to be able to work as an actual artist, I was going to be able to learn and grow from these people. I couldn’t imagine anything better than a career with those two things combined.
“Everyone seems to love every piece,” Zach said, whispering in my ear. “I’ve been eavesdropping.”
I looked up at him and laughed at his wide, mischievous smile. I was just happy that he was here with me. I didn’t know how I would have handled all this without being able to look up across the room at him. His mere presence in the room calmed my nerves in a way that I couldn’t even explain. I turned toward the door as I heard the bell on the handle ding. I smiled wide and jogged over to Charlotte, who was taking off her jacket and staring at the main piece in awe.
“Do you like it?” I asked Charlotte.
“Madison,” she gasped. “It is one of the most beautiful pieces I have ever seen you do.”
I looked back over at the piece, and my heart skipped a beat. It was one of the most beautiful pieces because it came from one of the most beautiful things in my life.