Nashville, Tennessee
Age: 18
My pulse pounds violently in my ears as sweat drips from my brow and I frantically throw my shoulder against the door. Busting it open, I trip into the tiny studio apartment. My heart beats erratically as my gaze sweeps the small space, searching for the pair of blue eyes and the sweet smile I call home.
“Savannah,” I rasp, hopelessly. Greeted by silence, all the blood rushes to my head. The room spins and my knees threaten to buckle as the memory of my mother’s voice rings in my ear clear as day.
You’re the spawn of Satan, Lincoln. Music isn’t what flows through your veins, mayhem is. You’re not only throwing your life away but you’re destroying hers as well.
At the time, I thought it was her feeble attempt to make me stay, to live like her—dreamless and bitter. Now, two years later I stand here staring at the empty apartment with my heart in my throat as the ugly truth slams into me.
My mother was right.
“Looking for someone?” a controlled eerie voice taunts. Like wildfire, goosebumps spread across my flesh. My bones chill and the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention. Fear and dread churn inside my gut as I find the courage to turn around.
Flocked by his two minions, Sally “The Butcher” Baldwin, stares back at me with a bored expression playing on his face. Standing at five feet tall, he is unfazed by his height and overcompensates for what he’s lost in inches by being a vicious predator—a stone-cold killer.
A man who at first glance might easily be mistaken for an aristocrat. Until he sheds his perfectly tailored sports jacket rolls up his sleeves and delivers death with his bare hands. Like every powerful man, The Butcher doesn’t take defeat lightly and he sure as hell doesn’t allow anyone to cheat him out of a dollar—something I learned early on and yet, still I thought I was invincible.
The exception.
The kid he never saw coming.
The one who would take him for all he’s worth.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I raise the back of my hand and wipe the sweat from my brow, realizing how badly I misjudged myself and the villain standing before me. I may have taken him for a lot of money but he’s the one who has the power to strip me of my worth. I’m not talking about the paper I’ve spent the last two years of my short life chasing. There is only one thing of value I possess and it’s Savannah. Until today, I thought money made you rich but as I stand here terrified I won’t see her again, I realize I was wrong.
Again.
“Where is she? What did you do with her?” I shriek, balling my fists at my sides. Knowing I’m no match for him, I don’t raise them and argue instead. “It’s not her fault. She didn’t lose your money, I did. If you give me a chance I swear on everything I will get it back. I will double it.”
He steps closer cocking his head to the side as his gaze travels the length of me. Part of me knows I should be fearful, that he could reach out and snap my neck with his bare hands and there wouldn’t be a damn thing in this world I could do to stop him. However, the bigger part of me, the part that is still just a young naïve boy trying to make it in the cold world, that part searches for a shred of compassion in the eyes of the monster. That part of me prays he will give me one more chance to make things right and spare Savannah.
Reaching out, he pats my cheek gently and closes the little space between us.
“Such a frightened little cub,” he observes, thoughtfully. “If only you would’ve listened when you were warned not to play with the wild,” he says.
Dropping his hand from my face, he glances over his shoulder. And gestures to the man standing behind him.
“Grab him,” he orders as he turns on his heel and ushers past his two enforcers.
“Where are you taking me?” I call out frantically watching as he steps into the hallway and comes to a full stop. Straightening his tie, he turns his beady eyes to me and lifts one bushy eyebrow.
“To teach you a lesson, a very important lesson.”
Without another word, he disappears down the hallway and the two men don’t give me a chance to wonder what happens next. Grabbing a hold of me, they drag me out of the apartment and down the three flights of stairs. Once outside, I’m shoved into the back of an SUV and a pillowcase is pulled over my head before I hear the door slam shut. A moment later we’re moving and it’s agonizingly clear we’re headed for hell.
I cry silently, as I feel the heat of my own piss stream down my thighs, soaking my pants. However, there is no time for shame and like a pussy, I close my eyes tightly praying they make my death quick and painless. The SUV comes to an abrupt stop a few minutes later and I’m pulled from the backseat. Someone kicks me in the leg and blindly I’m forced to walk straight into the depths of hell.
Foolishly, we think Satan’s lair is surrounded by scorching hot flames that sear your flesh and singe your soul until there is nothing left but a pile of ash but, there are different types of hell—something I learn when an arctic blast of cold air swallows me whole. Stripped of my sight by the pillowcase still covering my head, I rely on my other senses to try to place where they’ve taken me but, the freezing temperatures make it hard for me to concentrate on anything.
“The little shit pissed his pants,” one enforcer points out.
“Remove the pillowcase from his head,” Sally orders.
My teeth chatter as the case is pulled from my head and my eyes slowly open. Fighting for focus, I stare at the frozen carcasses of pigs and cows hanging from heavy meat hooks.
“They call me the butcher,” Sally says. “Do you know why?”
I shake my head violently, watching as he steps toward the switch on the wall. Glancing over his shoulder, he wickedly grins at me.
“I inherited this butcher shop,” he explains. “It was my grandfather's and while meat markets have become somewhat obsolete these days, I don’t have the heart to part with it. It’s all I have left of the old man. You understand that don’t you?”
Unsure where he’s going with this or what I’m supposed to say, I nod my head and watch him flick the switch. The carcasses move in a rotation and Sally snaps his fingers, demanding my attention.
“I needed to find a way for this place to be useful to a man in my position,” he continues. “The good people of Nashville come here for the prime cuts of beef but, the people like me, the twisted fucks who circle the underworld, they come here looking for me to dispose of any and all evidence.”
“Evidence?”
“Lesson number one, you can’t be convicted of murder if they never find a body, son,” he says pointedly.
“Is that why I’m here?” I croak. “If you’re going to kill me, then just do it already. Please.”
He shakes his head.
“No, Lincoln, I told you I’m here to teach you not to kill you.”
“Teaching me a lesson won’t get your money back,” I tell him.
Confused, I watch him flick the switch down and the rotating meat comes to a stop. He runs his hand over the body of a pig before giving it a firm pat.
“If I kill you for losing my money, then you’re relieved of your burdens. You don’t get to suffer for your crimes and there is simply no fun in that,” he continues, moving from one frozen animal to another. “But, if I give you something to remember, something to haunt you and force you to live in torment, well, that’s the sweet satisfaction of revenge.”
He pauses, crooking his finger as he beckons me closer.
“C’mere,” he demands.
Paralyzed by the cold or maybe fear, I stay rooted in place and shake my head defiantly.
“It’s not a request,” he clarifies, gritting his teeth. “Come here, now.”
Still, I don’t move.
It’s a mind over matter thing that makes it impossible for me to physically take a step toward him, certain whatever awaits me is something I won’t be able to erase from my mind. It’s making the conscious effort to not be at a monster’s mercy, knowing it’s ultimately a wasted effort because when the butcher wants to brand you, there is no escaping it.
His lackey grabs me by the back of my throat and drags me closer to Sally.
“Please, no,” I beg.
With all his might he pushes one of the carcasses and then another, repeating it until my eyes move like a pendulum watching them swing from the hooks. That’s when I catch a glimpse of what hangs behind the animals. Sure my imagination is running wild, I close my eyes briefly and pray I didn’t just witness my beautiful girlfriend hanging from a meat hook.
The bile rises in my throat as I open my eyes and stare in horror at Savannah’s lifeless body. Frozen solid with her eyes open, she hangs by the back of her neck.
“NO!”
Tears stream down my cheeks as I scream at the top of my lungs. My stomach drops and I’m no longer able to hold down the vomit. Regurgitating, I lurch forward emptying the contents of my stomach onto the floor. Whatever happens next becomes a blur as I fall to my knees wishing it was me and not her.
His words sink in and I realize the sickest part of it all is that I can beg this man to kill me and he won’t. He’s right, this is a far worse punishment than death. Not only will I live with the guilt but, I won’t remember her pretty face or the way her nose scrunches up when she smiles at me. The sound of her voice as she hits all the high notes is already a distant memory. A thing of the past. All that’s left is this moment and every day of my life, I will remember Savannah hanging from a hook.
Wiping my mouth with my sleeve, I foolishly lift my head and torment myself some more watching as one of Sally’s men unhooks her. A whimper escapes my lips as her body falls to the floor with a thump. He grabs her by her ankles and drags her across the freezer.
“Where are you taking her?”
“You don’t want me to answer that,” Sally says, crossing his arms against his chest. “You may not realize it yet but years from now, you’ll look back at this day and understand the valuable lesson I’ve demonstrated for you.”
“All I learned is that you’re a sick fuck,” I shout. “You killed an innocent girl who didn’t even know your name. She was a good girl, a good fucking girl with her whole life ahead of her.”
“That’s not true,” he says calmly. “She chose you, therefore, she wouldn’t have had a very bright future at all. You would’ve fucked up somewhere and she would’ve paid the price one way or another. That’s the lesson here, little cub. You’re not invincible. You’re a lowlife street thug who won’t amount to much in life and anything you touch you’ll destroy. If you take anything from this, take the fact that there is always someone more twisted and evil than you. The next time you think you can beat the odds, think of the pretty little lass hanging from the hook and realize you’re no match.”
I want to spit at him.
I want to wrap my hands around his neck and strangle the life out of him.
I want to be ten years older and man enough to take them all down.
I want…I want…it doesn’t matter what I want.
Suddenly a screeching noise fills my ear. It sounds a lot like nails grating against a chalkboard and I turn around only to discover the nightmare isn’t over. Sally’s enforcer has lifted my poor girl onto a table and is standing over her body sharpening two of the largest knives I’ve ever seen. I turn back to Sally, my eyes bulging in a mixture of disbelief and fear.
“What’s he going to do to her?”
He refrains from answering me as he crosses the room. Standing in front of a large stainless-steel machine, he bends and plugs it into the wall. It comes alive with a loud rumble and he begins to roll up his sleeves.
“You should go,” he says after a moment. “Run, little cub,” he warns. “Run as fast and far as your legs will take you.”
He’s right. I should run. I should turn the fuck around and flee but, I can’t. I can’t leave her with them. I know I failed her, that I can never make this right or bring her back. But, I have nowhere to go. Everything I had is lying on a butcher block—my home, my heart, and my future.
The man standing next to her lifts the knife high above his head and knowing what happens next, I close my eyes and scream her name only it doesn’t come out as loud as I thought it would. To my ears, her name floats past my lips like the final cord of a love song.
A tragic love song.
A song that will haunt me all the days of my doomed life.