Nineteen

 

 

Indie

 

Everything was quickly spiralling out of control. Jack had come up with a ridiculous plan to start a fight with Linc and make him admit his feelings for me, but I didn’t want to ruin my parents’ wedding with a fight.

Ha! Look how that turned out. I just stormed out of their rehearsal dinner in tears because Lincoln Bloody Andrews didn’t know when to quit.

The sand was still warm from the heat of the day, and the waves crashing against the shore were relaxing. I’d been out here a while and figured he’d show up eventually. He wouldn’t stop looking until he found me, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to be found yet. I had a feeling things were about to explode; I just hoped it wasn’t me left to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart.

“Indie.” Linc’s deep voice floated through the breeze, caressing my skin and causing goose bumps on my flesh. Always.

“I told you I didn’t want to talk about it.” I stood and brushed off the sand, walking to the water to dip my toes in.

“I don’t care. You’re out here crying on the beach alone. I just want you to be okay.”

“Well, I’m not okay. Everything is a mess. Hard. Complicated. I never should have come, but you know, it’s my parents. I had to be here, but I really just want to go back to school and get away from…” I trailed off, stopping myself from saying the rest.

“Get away from what?”

“You!” I didn’t mean to shout, but it felt good. “This, us. Everything.”

He put his hands in his pockets and ducked his head. I’d hurt him. But I was hurting, too. Every time I saw him, I hurt. And now all I could think about was just being a hook up to him.

“Well, go, then. It’s not like you ever come home to visit, anyway. Is it because of him? Did he stop you coming back all this time?” Linc refused to look at me, choosing to focus on his foot digging into the sand.

“No, it wasn’t him. It’s never been about Jack. He’s tried to get me to come home. He’s the one who forced me here this week.” I ran my hands through my hair in frustration.

“Then, why? Why don’t you come home? Make me understand.”

“Because of you!” I was shouting again. People further down the beach turned in our direction to see what the commotion was, but I didn’t care. “It hurt too much. You hurt too much.”

“Me? How? What did I do?” He walked away and turned back. “I did nothing!”

“That’s the problem! For years, nothing! When all I’ve wanted is you…”

“What?” He stood directly in front of me and placed his hands on my arms.

“I’m in love with you, you stupid ass.” I shoved his hands away and stepped around him. It was out in the open now. My heartbeat was going crazy; I could feel it my throat. My hands were trembling as I wiped at the tears dripping down my cheeks.

“Say it again,” he said quietly. I turned to look at him, a pained expression on his face, his hands pulling at his dreadlocks.

“You stupid ass.”

“Not that bit.”

“I’m in love with you,” I whispered, my breath catching in my throat.

“Again,” he demanded, stepping closer.

“I’m in lo—”

His hands were in my hair and his mouth was on mine, cutting off the rest of my words.

Hard, demanding, urgent. Bliss.

My knees buckled, and I wrapped my arms around his waist to support myself. Stars danced behind my eyelids as he tilted my head back and slipped his tongue between my lips, exploring my mouth, massaging my tongue with his. I groaned and pulled him closer, my fingernails digging into his back. His hands still firmly planted on the side of my face, we kissed. And kissed.

He pulled back. “I’m so glad you feel that way, Princess,” he murmured against my lips and kissed me again.

“You are?” I asked stupidly when we finally came up for air.

“Yeah, I am.” He still had my face in his hands. His eyes, dark grey, a raging storm of emotions, focused entirely on me. “I have loved you forever.”

“You’re a jerk, you know that?”

“But you love me anyway.” He smirked, making my insides melt. I adored that look.

“I’ve tried really hard not to, but it seems you’re too ingrained in me. You’re like a bad habit, and I keep going back for more.”

“A bad habit you don’t want to quit, right?” He wrapped his arms around me, holding me to his chest. In his warm embrace, I felt safe, secure, and right where I should be.

“One I can’t quit.” I smiled into his shirt, breathing him in. He smelled like the ocean, a scent I would never get tired of.

“One that’s going to cause a lot of trouble,” he muttered, placing a soft kiss to the top of my head. My stomach fluttered with nerves. He was right. We had to tell my family about us. Even though I didn’t know what we were, we couldn’t…I couldn’t keep lying to them. They’d figure it out eventually, anyway.

I took a deep breath. “Do you think it will be bad?”

“I think Nate is going to weigh down my boots and dump me in the ocean.” He laughed humourlessly.

I squeezed him tighter.

“I won’t let that happen. I’ll talk to him.”

“No, I’ll do it. It needs to be me. It should be me.” His fingers twirled a strand of my hair.

“Together?”

“I’m not going to get my way on this, am I?”

“Nope.” I looked up at him and smiled when he lowered his head to kiss me again.

“Fine, but not until after your parents’ wedding. I don’t want to cause a scene.”

“Like we did tonight?” I cringed at what my parents must have thought when I took off. I hoped they weren’t upset.

“Yeah, but it was worth it.” He sat on the sand and pulled me down to sit between his legs, threading his fingers through mine.

I leaned back into his chest, a sigh escaping my lips. I was happy. Content. And terrified. I didn’t know what any of this meant. He loved me, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be with me. There were so many obstacles in our way. So many reasons not to take this further.

“I can hear you thinking,” he murmured in my ear, bringing our hands up and flipping them over. I was mesmerised by both the movement and the fact we were holding hands like it was the most natural thing in the world, as though we did it every day. “What’s up?”

“Just trying to work out what all this means.”

“What?”

“You, me. This.”

“What do you want it to mean?” He shifted behind me, his voice shaky. He was nervous about my answer.

“What do you want this to mean?” I repeated his question. I’d already admitted my feelings first, so it was only fair he told me what he felt about us. “How do you see this ending?”

“Ending?” His voice rose an octave or four. “This isn’t ending.”

“You mean that?” I tilted my face back to look at him. He smiled, bright, wide, heart-stopping.

“Happily ever after,” he said softly, capturing my lips with his.

Happily ever after. I could live with that.

“Are you ready for that?” he asked cautiously.

“More than ready.”

“I don’t want to rush you. I mean you and Jack-ass just broke up, and I don’t want—”

I pinched his lips closed to shut him up. “Jack and I were never together,” I admitted. It was as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The relief I felt from being unburdened by that lie was refreshing. I felt lighter.

“What?” His eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

“Jack is gay. He’s my best friend, other than Bailey.”

“Gay! Jack is gay?” He couldn’t disguise the shock in his voice if he tried.

“Yep.” I watched with amusement as he processed what I’d told him.

“So the kisses and the touchy-feely?”

“Meant nothing. To either of us.” Though I had a feeling Jack enjoyed himself just a bit.

“And you and he have never—” He cleared his throat. “Never shared a bed?”

“Oh, we’ve totally done that. A lot, actually.” I couldn’t help it; I liked making him squirm.

His face paled, and his mouth set in a firm line. “Just to sleep, right? Please tell me you’ve only ever slept beside and not with him,” he pleaded with fear reflected in his eyes.

“Only to sleep. In fact, I build a pillow wall between us, so he stays on his side of the bed.”

“Good, but you know this stops. Now.”

“Of course.”

“But…” I could see the wheels turning in his brain while he tried to figure everything out. “He said you were…he still kissed you, groped you, treated you like shit.”

“He did.” I nodded.

“Why?”

“His plan was to make you so crazy jealous that you stepped in and swept me off my feet, declaring your love for me in some big, grand gesture. He has a flair for the dramatic.”

“Well, he was right. I’ve been going crazy these last few days watching you two together. They were going to put you and Jack in the adjoining rooms, but I convinced Nate and the desk clerk to put me and you together. I wanted to keep as much distance between you two as possible.” He chuckled, bringing one hand up and tracing the curve of my neck. His fingers left a trail of goose bumps on my overheated flesh.

“Really? Why?”

“I was jealous from the moment he introduced himself as your boyfriend and wanted you all to myself as often as possible.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

“Glad about what?” His hands drifted over my shoulders and down my arms, making me shiver.

“About you being jealous. Now you know how I felt. An eye for an eye, and all that.”

“How you felt?”

“Do you think I enjoyed coming home for Cole’s birthday, only to find out you were engaged? Why do you think I haven’t been home since?” As much as it hurt at the time, it was good to admit all this to him. I felt like telling him everything would give us a clean slate.

“That…that was the biggest mistake I’d ever made and a story for another time.” He pressed a kiss to my lips. “Do you want to go back to the dinner? It’s only early.”

“I guess we should.” I nodded and pushed myself up to stand.

“Wait.” Linc’s hands dusted the sand of the back of my skirt. “This is nice. I can do this whenever I want now without looking like a creep.” He laughed and jumped to his feet.

“We better go back and do some damage control.” I slid my hand into his, smiling when he brought it up to place a kiss on my knuckles.