CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Gwen
I couldn’t figure out why my eyes felt so heavy. I couldn’t seem to force my lids open. And why did my head feel like it wanted to split wide open? My shoulders were stiff and there was a crick in the left side of my neck.
My stomach rolled and I knew I had to do my best to quell it. I had this feeling in my gut that I shouldn’t move, but I couldn’t figure out why.
I replayed the last memory I could think of, trying to figure out what had happened. Everything seemed so fuzzy like it was there but I couldn’t make out what was going on.
Work.
I remembered being at the coffee shop. I worked my shift and was bored out of my mind and angry at the time. But why? Why had I been so antsy to get my shift over and done with?
There was something important happening. Yes. That was it. Something…that had to do with…
My brain reached and searched but kept coming up blank. I couldn’t put the pieces together and I had no idea why. What the hell was wrong with me? Did I drink too much again? No, I didn’t remember drinking anything.
Wait.
Something was there. Drinking. Yes. I had coffee. Well, duh. I had coffee every time I worked, so why was my brain trying to throw that at me? The picture became clearer in my mind the longer I tried to focus on it. I downed my cup of coffee before leaving Royally Brewed.
I’d been studying after my shift. Not out of the ordinary. Dale brought me my drink. I was having trouble studying because I was anxious about something. I packed up my stuff, went to the bathroom, then downed my drink before I left. I remembered regretting drinking the whole thing down at once right after because I hadn’t eaten anything and I knew the caffeine overload would make me queasy.
Knight.
The thought of him was like a slap to the face and the memories came flooding in. Only they weren’t the ones that would help me at that moment.
We were kids, playing in the back lot of the compound. The scent of hotdogs and burgers on the grill was so strong in the memory that I swore I could actually smell it. A new batch of prospects had just been patched-in and the club was throwing a barbecue to celebrate. Knight, Mouse, and I sat at one of the far picnic tables away from all the chaos. I barely knew Mouse then because he didn’t spend much time at the club. But this was a big party and I knew that was the only reason he was there.
Then I was older, my mind shifting to another memory. This time Knight was holding me as I cried. I felt the sadness of losing my mother all over again right then.
I tried not to linger on that any longer.
A warm feeling spread throughout my body as I felt Knight’s soft lips against mine. Only we weren’t kids. This was recent and as I remembered that night, I wanted to hold onto it and replay it over and over.
Then like a boulder crashing down on me, everything came into focus. I remembered it all. Knight. My dad. The anxious feeling that I had knowing that Knight was going to talk to my dad about us. The fact that there was even an us. He loved me. I could hear him saying those simple yet, beautiful words to me. It was like he was right there whispering them into my ear.
Please don’t let that be the last time I hear them.
My eyes snapped open at the thought because it was then that I realized I was in danger. Very real, very serious danger.
Tara.
Her name alone snapped my mind and body into alertness.
“Well, hello, princess,” Tara said and my eyes skirted around the room to find her.
“Why?” I asked when really I wanted to say ‘what the fuck, you crazy bitch?’
It was then that I felt a cool draft over my skin and realized that I was nearly naked. As my eyes fell on her, I saw she was wearing the outfit I’d had on the last I remembered.
“Because you have it all,” she said with a strange smile plastered on her face. “You’re perfect and everyone around you loves you.”
Um, okay?
I was still lost as to what was going on. Was she truly unhinged? And how did I not see this before? Was I so stuck in my own little world that I missed the signs?
I struggled to sit up and the reality that I was tied up and laying on a dirty, musty mattress became relevant then. I wouldn’t be able to fight her off. Or run. Or even get up at this point.
I tried to roll over but something sharp sliced through my shoulder. I clenched my teeth and tried to fight the pain. My guess was it was a spring sticking out from the mattress but as I looked around, I realized that it could have been anything. Needles, broken glass, trash, even a few used condoms littered the area in front of me.
Oh please, God, don’t let it be a needle.
I could only imagine what the hell kind of grossness I was laying in. Using my legs, I tried to wiggle forward and away from whatever the hell it was that was cutting into me.
“What are you going to do, Tara?” I asked and tried to keep the bite out of my voice.
“What do you mean?” she asked and her head cocked to the side in confusion, but the look she held on her face was downright frightening. There wasn’t anything in her eyes as she stared down at me. Not a glimmer of the Tara I had gotten to know. Or maybe it was that I’d just never noticed the emptiness before.
“Why are we here? Why am I tied up? What is it that you are trying to accomplish with all of this?”
“I just want to be you. Is that so wrong, Gwenie?”
She leaned over me and I had to crane my neck to the side to keep her in my vision. Then the dim light in the room caught on something hanging around her neck. The pendant swung back and forth on the chain as it dangled in the air. My mom’s necklace. I closed my eyes and a tear slipped out, leaving a wet trail over my nose.
“You are going to disappear and Knight is going to get a note saying you couldn’t take it anymore and you had to leave.” She pointed at me as she spoke.
“I’m not writing shit for you,” I bit out.
So, I was really scared right then and I honestly had not one clue how to get out of this. I knew all the things that were the smart thing to do in a situation like this, but knowing and being able to do them were two different things. Like, stay calm. And not taunt your tormentor. And try to connect with them on some level. Or wait for the right moment to strike out.
Yes, I understood all of those things and I could even recite them in my head at that moment. But as the panic that I was going to fucking die on that dirty mattress kicked in, I couldn’t follow any of those rules.
I swung my bound legs out and made contact with her knee. She stumbled back a few steps but it wasn’t enough to bring her down. By the maniacal laugh that rang out, she wasn’t even fazed by the action.
She picked up a baseball bat I had neglected to notice when I had scanned the area. I closed my eyes as she began to raise it in the air. I didn’t want to see it come down on me. I knew feeling it was going to be bad enough. The air whooshed right next to my face and the smack of it hitting the mattress echoed in my ears.
“Please,” I whimpered because I just couldn’t hold my fear back anymore.
Everything flashed in my head. I always thought people were full of shit when they said that. But right then, I sent silent apologies for every time that thought crossed through my head.
Millions of images were right there and I didn’t dare open my eyes. If I was going to die, I wanted the last thing I saw to make me happy. To fill me with the love and warmth I’d had my entire life.
I wanted to remember my dad and mom together. Every hug and kiss they ever gave me. Every birthday we shared. Every holiday. All the times they were there cheering me on for one little thing or another.
I wanted to remember every single time that Knight had smiled and said my name. Every time I caught him looking when he didn’t think I knew. Every touch and his smell. The kiss. Oh God, I wanted to live in that kiss.
I tried not to think about everything I would miss out on or wouldn’t get to do. Like how I’d never get to meet Stacy’s baby. Or that I wouldn’t get to see my dad’s proud face as I walked the stage and was handed my degree. All the goodbyes I wouldn’t get to say. And the three words I should have said to Knight the morning he said them to me.
I love you.
I whispered the words over and over again in my mind, all while praying to the universe that he would hear them. I needed him to know. I forgave him for everything. I didn’t even care about the past at that point or how much he’d hurt me all those years ago. I let it all go because I realized right then that it wasn’t what mattered the most.
“Oh. My. God,” Tara said with a dramatic tone of frustration. “Will you please stop. I can practically hear your thoughts and fuck, it is annoying.”
I refused to open my eyes. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction that she was getting to me.
“So after you are gone, poor Knight is going to be so heartbroken and sad. Guess who’s going to be there, understanding his sadness, sharing his grief? Me, that’s who.”
“No,” I growled.
“Yes. He’ll be so sad and I will be right there lending my shoulder for him to cry on. I will have it all then. All his attention. His love. I’ll be perfect for him.”
“You’ll never be me,” I barked as I lost the fight to keep my eyes closed. I met her lifeless eyes and regretted it the second I did.
“No?” She popped her hip out and put her hand on it. Her head tilted as her eyes went to the ceiling like she was actually taking a moment to think about what I’d said. After a long pause, she shrugged and looked back down at me. “Maybe not, but I will have everything you have. I will get everything you wanted.”
Knight wouldn’t. I knew it in my heart that he would see right through her. That he would know that I wouldn’t ever leave him and he would keep looking until he found me. I had to believe that.
That was when it all clicked into place. The club would know something was wrong by now. I was supposed to meet my dad and Knight, and when they couldn’t get in touch with me, I knew they’d panic. I imagined that the whole club was probably out looking for me. I needed to suck it up, find the strength inside, and try to delay whatever she had planned for as long as I could.
Keep her talking.
As I thought about that, the bile threatened to push its way up my throat. I wasn’t sure I could listen to another crazy word come out of her mouth but it looked like I didn’t have much of a choice.
“Why now?” I asked and yeah, okay, maybe a part of me did wonder what had changed. What was it that made her want to kidnap me and plan to kill me?
She let out a heavy sigh that almost sounded regretful. Her head dropped and her shoulders sagged.
“It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I don’t really want to hurt you. It was all going fine.” Her head snapped up and her arms raised, her hands curled into claws. “Until him!”
“I don’t understand. Please, help me make this right.” My tone was surprisingly calm and even.
Did I mean those words? Fuck no! But I could sense this was what she needed. I knew she was talking about Knight and my mind raced as I tried to place all the pieces together.
“At first he did his best to avoid you. He was an asshole to you and it was almost like you didn’t exist to him. But I saw it. I saw how he looked at you when he did look at you. Though, you didn’t. It was all alright when you were blind, when you thought he hated you.”
She paced the small area in front of the mattress, her fingers clawing at her strange, blonde hair.
“You should have gone for Dale. If you had then everything would be fine. Because I knew you’d never really have feelings for the guy. I mean, like really?”
She laughed like the thought of me being with Dale was ridiculous. The guy was nice and I liked him, but as much as I hated it, I had to agree with her. My heart belonged to someone else and even if I did date him, he’d never be able to get even a sliver of me.
“It would have been perfect because you’d have this mundane relationship with lukewarm feelings at most. So, you’d still want to hang out with me. I wouldn’t be pushed aside because you’d never let Dale have that much of you.”
I must have been losing brain cells from the filthy air around me because I could almost see the picture she was painting. And as much as I hated to admit it, she was right.
Not that it made any of this even remotely okay.
I mean, she was still crazy beyond reason.
“But then something happened between you and Knight, and I’m so desperate to know how he got his princess. I really am. Did he finally break and tell you how he felt?”
She looked up like she was trying to figure it out.
I wasn’t about to tell her that he finally let his guard down for me. That he finally stopped fighting everything. Oh, and how could I have forgotten the kiss. Honestly, I think that was the breaking point for both of us. But she didn’t get to know any of that. It was mine, and if that meant I’d take it to my grave, then so be it.
“I need caffeine,” she announced like it had been something normal to say right then. It didn’t escape me that I’d heard her say those very same words on more occasions than I could count. “Don’t go anywhere, okay?” Her voice was oddly chipper and the smile that graced her face would have seemed normal if she hadn’t drugged, kidnapped, and bound me.
Then she bounced out of the room.
I was mentally and physically exhausted. I wanted to close my eyes but I was afraid what would happen if I did.
The minutes stretched on and I questioned if she was even going to come back. My whole body ached and it hurt to even shift on that lumpy mattress. I pushed it all down as I tried to plan a way out. My ears were pounding, but I did my best to listen to any sound that might indicate where she’d gone. I couldn’t hear a damn thing.
I tried to roll over again, gritting through the pain as my body screamed at me. I wondered how long I’d been in that position. My legs and shoulders were stiff and cramping. With my hands tied behind my back, I had no way to free my legs. I finally managed to get myself in a seated position. I looked around for something—anything that would help me rid the tape that held me bound. Not finding a thing, I started moving my legs back and forth in hopes to loosen the duct tape around my ankles. My skin burned as it felt like it was being ripped off.
I felt the slick heat of blood building up inside the tape and I wanted to cry. I was getting nowhere and I wasn’t sure if I should even try to keep at it.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Tara’s voice made my whole body snap to attention. I hadn’t even heard her come back in the room. “Trying to escape? You wound me, princess.”
She tossed a canned coffee energy drink my way. It hit the floor and rolled right into me. I looked up at her wondering why she would do that. It wasn’t like I had my hands free to even open the thing, let alone drink it. She raised her can to her lips, her head tilting back as she swallowed the last little bit.
“Much better,” she said with a shrug and tossed the can over her shoulder without a care in the world.
“So I was thinking…” There was a long pause as I waited for whatever new psychotic plan she had now. “I might be going about this all wrong. I don’t want to hurt you. I really don’t. You believe me, don’t you?”
I found myself nodding but only out of fear of what would happen if I didn’t agree with her.
“I don’t need to get rid of you. I need to get rid of him. With him out of the way, then I can have you all to myself. I mean, as much as I would love nothing more than to take over your life and be you, I’d rather have you here with me all the time.”
I swallowed hard. It worried me how she was all over the place. Was she that off her rocker that she couldn’t even keep her plan straight? I had no idea how the crazy mind worked but I wondered if that was usual in cases like this. As I struggled to pinpoint what exactly was wrong with her, Tara continued to ramble on and on.
“So.” The sharp bark in her tone caught my attention. “I’m just going to hurt you a little. Then I’ll send him a picture and I have no doubt he will come running to save you. All I have to do is let him know where you are and wait patiently. I should be able to do that. I hope. I do get bored easily.”
The blow of the bat against my side forced all the air out of my lungs as I fell to the side on the hard, cold floor. Her foot reared back and I didn’t have time to ready myself for the kick to my abdomen even though I saw it coming. The pain was too much. I tried to hold on, but as she delivered another kick, my vision became spotty right before it went fuzzy.
I couldn’t let her do this. I had to warn him somehow. I had to warn all of them because I knew that he wouldn’t come alone. If any of them died, it would all be my fault. I should have seen that something was off. I had to save them.
Knight.
My dad.
My family.