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Knocked Up by Christine Bell (1)

Chapter 1

"Come on, come on, come on."

Tawny Mitchell tapped the top of the 1990's printer in the corner of the college library and blew a strand of brown hair out of her face.

After checking nearly every hall on campus, she'd only been able to find one available printer, and based on the state of the thing and the random, ominous beeping sound it emitted every three seconds, she had to guess this one only had a few days before being put out to pasture.

Not that it mattered. By this afternoon, this school and all its outdated and overworked equipment would all be behind her. Of course, that would depend on her damned paper actually printing before the afternoon was over.

She glanced at the clock and tapped the top of the printer a little harder. She had exactly five minutes to catch the final moments of her Civics class, hand in her last-ever essay, and then she could kiss this school goodbye.

The printer groaned a long-suffering sigh, then spat her paper out so harshly that it smudged the words at the end of the page.

"Good enough.”

She waited, foot tapping, as the next nine pages followed in similar fashion. Then, stapling all her hard last-minute work together, she sprinted from the library and rushed down the steps and across the lawn until she’d reached the science building.

Her sandals slapped the linoleum floors so loudly that she was sure everyone in the hall could hear her, but she didn’t slow down. Instead, she skidded around the corner of the long, narrow hallway and stopped short just as Doctor Jeffries was shutting the door behind him. Panic settled over her as she realized she was two minutes too late.

“Doctor, I—” she started, practically throwing the paper at him as she spoke.

He glanced down at it, then frowned slightly and took it.

“I’d been wondering where you were, Tawny,” he muttered.

“Right. It’s…a long story.” She breathed out her nose, then added, “Thanks. For taking it, I mean.”

“Consider it a graduation present.” The doctor offered her the smallest glimpse of a smile, then said, “Happy summer.”

“You too.” She watched as the balding, lanky man trailed past her and made his way to the spiral staircase in the middle of the hall. When he’d finally made it up to the second floor, Tawny slumped against the door and let out the breath she felt like she’d been holding for four years.

She was done. College was over. All she had to do was walk across that stage and grab her diploma, and she could finally start her life.

"You okay over there?" A familiar voice, thick with a northern Louisiana accent, interrupted her quiet moment of celebration and Tawny looked up to find her best friend, Suzette, peeking at her from around the corner.

"Oh, hey," Tawny said.

Suzette's normal shock of bright red lipstick seemed even brighter than usual today, and her trademark Dolly-Parton-meets-Daisy-Duke ensemble was in full swing. She cocked her slender hip as she surveyed Tawny suspiciously. "I didn't see you on the quad. You were supposed to meet me twenty minutes ago. I figured you got stuck here doing extra credit or something."

Suzette took a moment to glance around the hall and Tawny wondered if it was the first time her friend had even bothered to see the inside of one of the campus' buildings besides the dorms and the cafeteria. Between cheerleading, field hockey, and playing flag girl to all the unofficial motorcycle races in town, she wasn't sure Suzette had actually managed to pick up a textbook in the past few years she'd spent here. Somehow, though, she’d managed to squeak by and now they were on their way to graduating.

"It's a long story. Stupid printers,” Tawny said, then shrugged one shoulder. "Doesn't matter now."

"No, it so does not." Suzette grinned, then motioned for Tawny to follow her out the door. “We are done!”

They stepped into the Louisiana heat and Tawny groaned. She’d never get used to this. It was like stepping into an outdoor sauna, even though it was only the end of May. The rest of the summer was sure to be practically unbearable, but god only knew she'd seen worse. When she was ten, her father had been stationed just north of the Amazon, and, when the weather wasn't oppressive enough to lull her into a heat-induced near-coma, her mother's homeschooling had managed to do the trick.

Nope, compared to life on base, even the Louisiana heat--hell, even the alligators--were a walk in the park.

They walked across the already-yellowing green fields and Suzette beamed at her friend sing-songing, "So, this is it. No more pencils, no more books--"

"Until September, with any luck,” Tawny cut in. “If I can’t get a teaching job, I’m going to be stuck working at the Piggly Wiggly.”

"Oh, can't you relax for one day?” Suzette snorted, rolling her eyes with disgust.

“It's almost graduation and you did it! You made it! We should celebrate."

"Why do I get the impression you already have something in mind?" Tawny raised an eyebrow and Suzette didn't bother to look chastened.

Instead, she rubbed her lips together, as if to smooth her already perfect lipstick, and said, "Well, I did have a potentially interesting suggestion."

“Suzie-Q,” a low, male voice called, and then let out a wolf whistle from behind them. Both girls turned to find a tall, handsome guy striding toward them, a stack of bright orange papers in his hand.

Tawny blinked. Those papers looked familiar. In fact, unless there was some massive coincidence, she was pretty sure they were the same flyers that had been printing from nearly every printer on campus earlier today as she’d been searching for a free one.

She gritted her teeth as she glanced at the papers, but then forced herself to look at the guy holding them instead.

Rex Anderson.

Wherever Suzette was, Rex couldn't be far behind. And wherever Rex was?

Well, the cops were sure to follow.

He'd gotten poor Suzette in more trouble more times than either of them could count on their fingers, and Tawny was beginning to think that just seeing the guy was an omen of bad things to come.

"You know I hate it when you call me that," Suzette drawled, but Rex only smiled at her and held out the stack of papers. "Flyers for you. Spread ‘em around, would you?"

Suzette glanced at the paper and Tawny read it over her shoulder.

It was an ad for an end of school party by the lake, complete with cookout and motorcycle race.

Tawny frowned.

"You'll be there, right? I need my best flag girl." Rex winked and Suzette blushed so deeply that the color spread all the way to her roots.

"You bet." Suzette nodded and Rex thanked her quickly before striding ahead of them.

Suzette blinked, her eyes fixed on Rex's backside as he walked away.

"Your parents are going to murder you if you get into any more trouble,” Tawny said softly.

"Who said anything about trouble?" Suzette asked.

"You know what I mean."

"Oh please, don't be a stick in the mud. Just because Rex is involved, you think everything is going to end in disaster."

"Because it always does."

"Not true,” Suzette huffed. "I've spent time with him plenty without getting into any trouble."

"Like when?"

"Like...like two weeks ago, we went to that old drive-in with a few of his brothers."

"Didn't he smuggle his brothers in his trunk?"

"But he didn't get caught now, did he?" Suzette demanded, as if that settled the matter.

Tawny sighed. "Right."

"You know the best way to make sure I keep my nose clean, don't you?" Suzette grinned.

"You staying away from Rex and everything associated with him?" Tawny suggested primly.

"No. You coming with me. To the party, I mean.”

Silence punctured the air, and Tawny hoped that it might be enough to give Suzette her answer without having to actually say it.

"Come on, now. Live a little,” Suzette pleaded.

"I've lived plenty. I have a very exciting evening planned. Netflix. Cheetos. Rewatching Game of Thrones without any final exams or term papers hanging over my head. It’s going to be glorious,” she murmured with a happy sigh.

"Yeah, that sounds real thrilling. Come on, Tawn. Midnight swimming in the lake? Hot dogs? Beer? Me." Suzette fluttered her eyelashes and Tawny tried not to laugh.

"I don't think so. You might not have trouble with the police, but if I get arrested, I can kiss my dream job goodbye," Tawny said.

There. Suzette couldn't deny that it was the truth, after all. She'd lived in Alhouette her whole life, and by virtue of the town's size and its penchant for gossip, she knew as well as Tawny did that anybody who wanted to work at the school had to have the cleanest record there was. Hell, the last middle school teacher to leave had been practically run out of town because she had gotten drunk at the local bar during spring break and one of her boobs popped out when she was riding the mechanical bull.

Poor Mrs. Trumbull. Tawny wasn’t sure what the market for sixty-year-old teachers outside of Alhouette was, but she was pretty certain it wasn’t going to be easy for her to find something new.

"Look, I know that school nurse job is important to you, but they aren't going to take it away if you get stuck with a disturbing the peace citation. I'll be the DD, we're both over twenty-one. There's really nothing to worry about. Please, come out tonight. Distract me when Rex Anderson finds his newest piece of ass for the evening and leaves me high and dry like he always does." Suzette held up her hands in prayer and Tawny scrunched her lips to the side before giving a very slight nod.

That was all Suzette needed.

She jumped up and down and took Tawny's hands in hers before practically shrieking, "Oh my god, I can’t believe you said yes. This is gonna be so much fun. Just think of it. You and me, the fearsome twosome, against the world and celebrating like crazy."

"If you say so," Tawny muttered, mentally mourning her Netflix plans with an inward groan. It was only one night. She’d be a good friend and wingman for Suzette, and tomorrow, she’d celebrate her way. With a day of PJ’s, seclusion, toffee butter crunch ice cream, and the battle for the Iron Throne.

"I do. Now come on. I gotta spread these puppies round campus"--she waved the flyers in her hand--"then we're heading to my place for a little make-over before the party."

Suzette was as good as her word. She ran to every club member and teammate she knew, then, when every fluorescent orange paper was gone, she led Tawny to her station wagon and blared the newest Beyoncé album while Tawny buckled herself in.

Suzette sang along with the lyrics as they drove through the flat country roads, whipping past the little main street, the cluster of nice suburban homes, until finally they were in the section of posh plantation-style houses.

Suzette parked in front of one of the largest mansions on the street and Tawny took a moment to marvel at the building--like she always did--before getting out of the car. She didn't know how many times she'd dreamt of a place like this when she'd been growing up. Though, really, any home at all would have done. Someplace permanent. With family pictures and memories. Without boxes that were always in a constant state of being packed or unpacked. Someplace her father could have built her a swing set and a tree house.

Of course, Suzette's parents had done her one better, they had an entire wooden castle in their backyard, left over from Suzette's younger years, and as they worked their way to the second floor of the house, Tawny smiled at all the monuments to Suzette through the years.

When they reached Suzette's bedroom door, Tawny glanced at the familiar gold "S" on the door, and then twisted the knob and flopped onto the canopy bed.

"What exactly do you have in mind?" Tawny asked warily, but Suzette didn't answer. She was already standing in front of her wide, white vanity, complete with giant trifold mirror, surveying the instruments of Tawny's inevitable destruction.

"Just come sit down,” Suzette demanded. “We've got work to do."

Tawny breathed deep, trying to push past images of her curly brown mass piled on top of her head in a helmet of hairspray. The ultra-feminine, southern belle look might work for Suzette, but a girl like Tawny would be lucky if she could pull off anything besides jeans and a t-shirt. As a matter of fact, Tawny couldn't think of a time when she'd worn anything else.

"Tonight you are going to be super hot. I mean, you're hot all the time, of course, but tonight you're not going to be so sneaky about it." Suzette winked at her in the mirror, then plugged something into the wall that was long, metal and menacing-looking.

"It's a flat iron,” Suzette explained, apparently seeing the look of wild-eyed desperation on Tawny's face. "Now, no questions and no arguments. You’re going to be a star tonight. Your whole life is gonna change. Trust me.”

The two scariest words in the English language.

Tawny closed her eyes and said a silent prayer.

If she could just get through this night without getting arrested, she’d be good to go.

But for some reason she couldn’t quell the little quiver of apprehension in her belly…

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