Tawny took a deep breath, then leaned back in her chair and surveyed her list. She’d spent the whole of her morning bent over the sheet of paper, careful not to miss a single checkbox or talking point, but now that it was over and in front of her, she couldn’t deny what was staring her in the face.

Namely?

That the thing was almost fifteen pages long.

In fairness to herself, though, that was hardly her fault. With the baby coming in just a handful of months, there were still so many things to decide and consider and if Luke really wanted to be a part of things, she’d have to make sure they were on the same page. In this case, that happened to be literally.

Swallowing hard, she took one last look at the list and made sure there was nothing else she wanted to add—no last detail she’d forgotten. After five hours, she was pretty sure she hadn’t left anything to chance, but then again…

She flipped the last page over and sighed through her nose.

Enough stalling.

She knew what she had to do. She just had to put on her big girl pants and face it.

“Okay,” she whispered. “Okay.” She scrolled through her contacts, found the newest one, and dialed. Holding her breath, she waited for the dial tone, but the line clicked on before she’d even heard it ring.

“Tawny,” Luke said.

“H-how are you feeling?” she asked.

“Better, thanks to you. Thanks for taking care of me.” She could hear the smile in his voice and a weighty silence stretched between them for a long moment before she found the nerve to speak again.

“Look, um, I was thinking and maybe we should get together and talk everything over. You know, with the baby. I made a little list and it might be good to talk.”

“Absolutely. When were you thinking?”

“Um, are you free this afternoon? I thought I could make lunch and we could talk some things over?”

“You got it. Just send me your address and I’m on my way.”

The line clicked off and she texted him her address and then stared at her phone for a minute before realizing that he was already less than twenty minutes from ringing her doorbell.

Her studio was clean enough, but she fluffed the cushions on the used sofa and remade the bed just to be safe, careful to check and double-check for anything that might be embarrassing. As it was, though, there wasn’t too much to hide.

After moving over and over again, she’d never been much for bogging herself down with unnecessary possessions. She had one picture frame—the gift from Suzette of the two of them at graduation she kept on her bed stand, but other than that and the baby’s sonogram picture on the fridge? The place was a utilitarian haven. Nothing but form and function.

The doorbell rang even sooner than she’d been expecting, and she hadn’t even had the chance to peer inside her fridge and see what she had to offer him—other than the pounds of strawberries she’d been shoveling into her face—before she was rushing to answer his knock.

She swung the door open and ran her fingertips through her hair as he smiled down at her, his blue eyes piercing her in a way that she was quickly realizing was his signature look.

“Hey,” she said. “That was quick.”

"I was actually just around the corner when you called, picking up stuff at the hardware store."

"I was sure you'd still be in bed nursing that hangover."

He speared a hand through his hair and one dimple made a short appearance. "Yeah, I would have been if it wasn't for you."

Damn his blue eyes. They were staring at her again, studying her, and her heart was beating faster and louder,--in her chest, in her wrists, in her ears.

"Uh, why don't you come in? We can order a pizza. Good hangover food."

"Already ordered one. I didn't want you cooking for my sake."

"Oh, that was...that's really nice of you,” she said, once again taken aback at his thoughtfulness. He was really ruining the whole playboy image she’d had of him and she had to admit, she didn’t hate the thought that maybe the rumors had been exaggerated. Maybe his mom was right. Maybe he could be a great dad for their son.

"I hope I didn't ruin any plans you had,” he added.

She shook her head and stepped aside as he stepped into the tiny loft.

If he thought poorly of the place, he didn't let on. Instead, he glanced at the kitchenette and then the bed, covered in tapestries and colorful fabrics she'd gotten abroad, and offered her a little smile.

"Nice."

She motioned to the sofa and took a seat in the less comfortable armchair that, of late, was the only thing that could support her recently aching lower back.

Luke watched her ease onto the seat with some concern, but she waved him off.

"I'm fine, fine. Pregnancy stuff. It's very glamorous."

"I'll bet. You barely look pregnant yet, so it’s still hard to imagine.”

She nodded. “Yeah, it’s weird because I feel so different even though I don’t look that different yet. Anyway, I called because I made a little list."

“Hit me,” he said, his face open and interested.

"Well, if you’re still wanting to be a part of the baby’s life, we should talk about co-parenting. Preschools, religion, discipline, that kind of stuff."

Luke blinked. “Wow. That’s a lot of stuff.”

If he only knew.

She picked up the stack of papers from the coffee table between them, then nodded at an identical copy in front of him. "I printed two copies. For your reference."

"So this is...what? A board meeting?" He glanced at his packet, but didn't pick it up.

"Don't joke,” she pleaded, “I know it seems fussy but my brain feels so cluttered and confused, it felt better to get it all on paper.”

"I'm not joking at all. I just wish I'd known to bring a suit and tie, that's all." He flashed a grin, and she glanced down at the first item on the list, determined not to let the heat spreading over her face distract her from the pressing matters in front of them.

"So, first of all, we'll need to make a shopping list for the nursery."

"A shopping list? Don’t you think we should wait until after the baby shower?” His dark brows knit together.

"Well, I don’t really plan to…it’s not important." She didn't want to explain all that to him. Her only real friend here was Suzette, and one friend did not a party make. As for family, her mother would never, not in a million years, fly from Hawaii to Louisiana to throw a baby shower for her daughter's illegitimate child. And if she did? The baby would probably get MREs instead of formula. She just wasn’t maternal and never had been. Tawny was pretty sure nothing had changed in the past few years on that front. She only had to look at her recent birthday card that was signed “Warm regards” to confirm that.

"Maybe let's start smaller. A name." Luke shrugged. "I don't even see that on the list."

“Flip to page six, section fourteen B.,” she rattled off and Luke's eyebrows shot up a little higher.

"I guess I should have studied harder," he said. "But regardless, the baby needs a name. Let's talk about it. I'm not interested in Luke Junior, so I was wondering if you had a family member that was important to you that you might want to name him after? Maybe your father?"

She fought the urge to cringe. This was so not going to plan. In her effort to dot some i’s and cross some t’s she had instead inadvertently opened a can of family worms she’d wanted desperately to keep closed.

"Let's put names aside for now and focus on the more practical things. For example, Alhouette has a good school district, but are you interested in a private school instead? I don't know if you're religious, but if you want him to go someplace else, we'll need to factor it into the budget."

"The budget?"

She nodded. "It's the last four pages in your packet. I looked up the cost of diapers, doctor visits, and things like that. We can split the cost according to whatever custody agreement we determine on page three."

Luke shook his head, his mouth half ajar.

"What?" She blinked.

"Well, you sure thought of everything."

"Thank you."

"You didn't let me finish," Luke cut in. "You thought of everything the baby needs, but, no offense…it doesn’t seem like you’re thinking of yourself or the baby himself."

"What--?"

"How much stress did you put yourself under while you were writing this list of yours and trying to plan the kid’s first eighteen years? It can't have been good for you. You're looking at this like a project, not like your life."

She folded her arms over her chest and replied carefully, “I don't understand what you mean."

"I mean a baby isn't something you check off a box." He thumped the list, then set it down on the table. "We have five more months, Tawny. We don't need to make all these plans right this second. We just need to really come to grips with the fact that we are going to have a son and that a thousand things we can’t plan for are going to happen. I mean, have you stopped to think about what it's going to feel like when you hold him for the first time? Or what he's going to smell like?"

Tawny blinked. She hadn't thought of those things. Those, she thought, would be the rewards at the end of the road--the little presents under the tree after all the groundwork had been laid.

"We can't control everything. That's clear, I think. So let’s try it my way, okay?” Resting his hands on his thighs, he pushed himself from the sofa, then held his hand out to her. "Come on."

She stared blankly at his palm. "What?"

"We're heading out. Come with me."

"I don't--"

"Just come, okay? You’re going to have to learn to trust me. After all, we're going to have this baby together."

Together. There it was again. He was still all in for this.

So, even though she didn't know what was waiting on the other side, she took his hand and allowed him to take her wherever it was he was determined to go.

"The Baby Market." Tawny read the bright blue and pale pink sign twenty minutes later, then turned her incredulous gaze on him. "Doesn't that sort of make it sound like they're selling babies in there? Are you...trying to sell our baby?"

Luke chuckled. "This, as it happens, is the biggest baby store in the state. Almost everyone registers here and we are going to do exactly that."

"I'm telling you, we can't register."

"Then think of it like a shopping list. Just think, a whole new list of things to check off. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"You're mocking me."

"Only a little." He climbed from the truck, and before she knew it, her door was being opened for her and he was leading her from the parking lot toward the huge automatic doors of the mega-complex.

When he'd said the store was big, he hadn't been kidding. It was the Disney World of baby stores, complete with pallets upon pallets of formula, car seats, and strollers. Before they entered, a man stopped them at the door and asked for their ID.

"Oh, we should--" she started, but Luke held up a hand. "I've got it covered."

He pulled a laminated slip from his wallet, showed it to the man, and then he handed them a forklift-sized shopping cart.

"Congratulations on your bundle of joy," the man muttered, and Tawny thanked him sheepishly before following Luke into the store.

"You're not the only one who did their homework this morning," he said, and she stared at him again, incredulous.

"My mom always said this was the best place to go for baby stuff so I thought--" He shrugged. "What the hell, let's check it out."

He led her through to a maze of baby clothes and she stared at the sea of pastel colors and sparkly tutus with a growing sense of excitement and anxiety.

"How could we even...I don't know where to start," she murmured.

"Start wherever you want. I've got an app on my phone and all I have to do is scan the barcode in order to enter something onto our shopping list."

"I..." She blinked and with a little surge of humiliation realized that tears were stinging the back of her eyes. Stupid pregnancy hormones, they got her every time.

"Um, right." She swallowed back her tears. "Okay. So...we need clothes for all months. Sometimes kids skip whole months so we've got to sort of get ourselves covered."

"Well, we clearly need this, then." Luke held up a tiny cowboy outfit and she giggled.

"I was thinking something more mechanic-like. Maybe a bandana? For when he helps you in the shop?"

Luke's eyes went soft. "Yeah. I hadn't thought about that."

"Overalls, then." She picked some up from a nearby shelf and allowed him to scan the barcode before putting them back.

Together, they sifted through the clothes, picking out all sorts of bibs, bandanas, and bonnets along with his everyday jumpers and onesies, and by the time she reached the end of the ocean of clothes, she was sure they had a thousand dollars worth of clothing in their cart. Admittedly, she'd gone a little off the rails with her planning--especially when they got to the Halloween costumes.

"Oh my god." She snatched up a baby-sized lobster costume and shoved it toward Luke.

"No way. My son is not going to be a crustacean for Halloween."

"You have a better idea?" she challenged.

He reached past her, her body sizzling at the faintest brush of his skin against hers, and grabbed a tiny Dalmatian costume.

"You want him to be a dog?" she asked, realizing she was slightly breathless.

"We could paint his nose and I could dress as a firefighter. It would be adorable."

She swallowed hard. That would be adorable. And the idea of all of them trudging from house to house, son and father wearing matching outfits... well, that was the best part of it all.

This was bad. Like, so good, but also really bad. After all her careful planning and internal warnings, she was starting to have hope.

Hope that this baby would be able to grow up with happy, stable parents. Hope that he would be enough to make Luke want to stick around. And, worst of all, hope that maybe the two of them actually had a chance in hell as a couple.

Shit.

But as she stared up at his excited face, she couldn’t resist it another second. If she was setting herself up for a fall, so be it. She was going to fall hard and suffer for it. It was too late to stop this train now. She was half in love with her baby’s daddy already.

"You're right. Add it to the list."

Luke scanned the tag and they moved on, glancing at cribs and strollers until her head was spinning. There was so much to think of and decide. They would need to get two of everything and she still hadn’t picked out the color scheme for the corner of her apartment that would be the baby’s nursery.

She just had to clear her head and…and—

Pain raked over her abdomen like she’d never felt before and her breath caught as panic rose up inside her.

“Luke,” she gasped. “Something’s wrong.”