Chapter 5
Commander Rax Veda
When we woke up, I was startled by how close the human was to my body. She hadn’t slept soundly at all for as long as we had been in each other’s company, but that night specifically had been extremely difficult for her. I knew that it was probably because of the monster that we had encountered, and the brutal way that I had slain it. I had asked her to look away, because I knew how vulnerable the human mind could be, but she apparently hadn’t. And it was to her own detriment.
I was too afraid to move, because the human’s cheek was pressed gently against my arm. I felt a strange tenderness and warmth course through my chest, and I gazed down at the human, studying her strange, perfect features. She looked so peaceful as she slept now, apparently knowing that she was safe with me nearby. Perhaps she had been seeking that sort of comfort and warmth in her sleep, and that was why she had ended up being so close to me. Regardless of the reason why, I knew that I would have to move soon. We had to get back out there to find Keldon Marcsu. If we didn’t, my entire mission would have been a failure.
But for some reason, I was not filled with the same urgent determination to get up and get moving as I had been when the Emperor’s son had actually been present. For some reason, having the human so close to my body like this was urging me to stay put. I wanted her to sleep. I wanted her to have the rest that she needed so that she could thrive. There was nothing I wanted more than to make sure that she was safe and protected. Everything that I wanted at this point seemed to revolve around my strange desire to protect her. And, a secret, hidden urge to steal Keldon Marcsu’s claim upon her and place one of my own.
But that was impossible. Once a claim was made on a human, or any female for that matter, by a Raither, it simply couldn’t be overlooked. My kind had a tendency to be very strict when it came to rules and policies. I should be executed for even thinking about taking away the future mate of the Emperor’s son. I didn’t know why I was so consumed with her. And yet, it was impossible not to be. She had captivated me in a way that I had never experienced before, and I was just going to have to deal with the consequences of that, whether we like it or not.
Suddenly, the human’s eyes fluttered open, almost as if she could sense my wakefulness. She must have been able to tell that I was looking at her, and I averted my eyes quickly, hoping that maybe she would think I was still asleep so that it would avoid some embarrassment for us both.
But she sat up quickly, and apology quick and mumbled as she attempted to smooth hair away from her face and give her body a quick stretch.
I knew exactly how she felt. Not only was I also feeling a little bit uncomfortable about the way we had woken up together, but my body was also sore. We had slept on that stone slab all night long, or at least tossed and turned, barring the human’s emotional meltdown, and now both of us were eager to work the kinks out of our backs and get on our way.
“You do not have to apologize, human. We cannot help how we sleep.” I said, finally, hoping that if I faced the elephant in the room, perhaps the issue would go away.
The human studied me for a moment, sighing heavily before she answered. “I think that we should have some breakfast now. We don’t have a lot of time for you to find your other crew members. Let’s get going.”
So, we e were not going to talk about what happened any longer, and of course, the topic of her emotional state was probably off-limits as well. There was a steel about this woman, a hardness within her that made me cautious to approach subjects that she didn’t want to deal with. It was strange, this quiet power that emanated from her. But at the same time, it was admirable, and I would expect nothing less from her. Especially, having already heard the way she was willing to speak to Keldon Marcsu, even after she found out that he was Raither royalty.
“Perhaps we should find a different orchard to eat in than the one we had used last night,” I suggested. My reasoning for this was simple. I wanted to cover all the bases, and try and find an orchard where we might be able to locate the Emperor’s son seeking food But at the same time, I find myself reluctant to continue my search. Perhaps I could wait to retrieve him until we had already located the other two crewmembers. But that would leave the human in an extreme amount of danger. If we were alone, there would be nobody left to protect her if things went wrong. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it, but it just seemed better for her to have more than one Raither looking out for her. Humans were so fragile. Almost like children in a way. I wanted to take all precautions necessary to ensure her safety, even if that meant having Keldon Marcsu join our party again.
“All right, we do it,” the human said, avoiding my gaze.
For some reason, her avoidance of me stung. I did not want to be on bad terms with the human. In fact, I wanted to be on terms with her that were probably far too intimate and inappropriate. I had no indication of whether or not she felt the same way, but every once in a while, when I caught her eye, that’s strange creep of redness would trickle across her features, and she would look away quickly, almost as if she knew exactly what I was thinking.
Was it possible that she felt the same way? It was impossible to say. But I doubted that she would. After everything that she had been through, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if she had a great deal of resentment and anger toward the Raither species in general. The son of our Emperor did not exactly do our species any favors. It was sad that he could not do justice to our kind, but it was generally accepted that he was allowed to do and say as he pleased, no matter what the consequences might be. He would still be hailed as a great leader. It was frankly, very disgusting.
“Are you sure that you are doing okay?” I finally asked, as we made our way quietly through the forest.
The human shot daggers at me from over her shoulder, and I couldn’t help but grin. She was quite a feisty one, wasn’t she? She didn’t like talking about her feelings very much, but that was to be expected. Most humans didn’t. It was something that I actually found a strange, considering how few defensive mechanisms they had biologically. When we were in school, we had been taught to believe that humans shared feelings regularly, until we actually communicated with the humans that had been rescued from Hexa prior to my meeting this human.
Perhaps communication and understanding could be used as a tool for survival, rather than as a way to hurt each other more. But apparently, the humans didn’t seem to see it that way. They focus most of their efforts on hurting each other and gaining power, much like the Raithers. It was actually quite disgusting, and I was ashamed for both of our species as a whole. There was so much potential for good to be done, under the right leadership, of course. But it seems that leadership was usually achieved through means of bullying and coercion. That meant that most of the people who were actually in positions of power weren’t there to better the rest of the world that they were supposed to be advocating for. They were there to look out for themselves and themselves alone. Perhaps sometimes people who were like-minded, but even that was rare.
“I told you that I don’t need to talk about this, didn’t I?” The human said.
“Not exactly,” I said, examining the human thoughtfully. The sun was on her, causing bright streaks of color to shine radiantly in her hair. It was mesmerizing. But I had to continue my thought. For some reason, it also important to pursue the subject. “Actually, you said that I didn’t have to do this. Referring to me trying to comfort you when you were distressed, and I know that I do not have to comfort anybody when they are distressed. But you are a human. You are vulnerable. It seemed like the right thing to do. I’m sorry if it was offensive to you in any way. That was not my intention.”
“What was your intention?” The human asked me, eyeing me curiously.
I paused to consider this, wondering if even I could articulate a response. Sure, I was fighting the desire to get to know this human intimately, and in a way that was completely inappropriate to my mission and my position in the Raither army.
But there was more to it than that. The idea of the human suffering at all, for any reason, seems to bring me great pain myself. Why must I suffer such personal agony over the feelings of another being? Especially a being that wasn’t from my planet? It seemed strange. And yet, it was the fact of the matter and there was no denying it.
“I suppose that your distress was distressing me. And not only that, but if you were loud enough, you could have attracted the attention of predator. The last thing we need is to encounter another dangerous creature that will give you the same fear and anxiety that caused that fit last night in the first place. I’m afraid that if, while you were in such a poor and vulnerable state, and found yourself forced to encounter a creature like this again, you would potentially never escape the mental trap that you were in. That could have driven you over the edge. Humans, as I said, are very fragile.”
The human seems to mull this over, considering it quietly as we continued to walk. It was strange how comfortable the silence between us was. When Keldon Marcsu was around, it seemed that he was always trying to fill the gaps with his words so that we were forced to pay attention to him or to praise his ideas. It was painfully obvious just how spoiled and catered to he had been throughout his life. I wasn’t sure that I could ever fully reconcile myself with the classist society that I was raised in. There were many changes that my planet needed to make before it would be an ideal place to live, whether for a Raither or a humanlike Zina.
“So, what made you become a scientist anyway?” I asked. “I’m sure you already know that human technology is not very advanced. Were you trying to bring it up to standard? Perhaps so you could compete with the other worlds?”
The question had been burning in my mind for quite some time. She was such an interesting person. It fascinated me to know and to consider what might occupy a human’s mind. A lot of humans were very susceptible to new thoughts and experiences. Their minds were more like Plato than like computers or tools that could be capable of innovation or problem-solving. But Zina was entirely different. It was as if she always had a computer program running in her mind at all times. It was impressive, really.
Zina laughed, shaking her head. “It’s not all about technology. There are many things that are fascinating about the natural world. Scientists want to understand everything, right down to the most basic of molecules. And sure, while innovation is a very interesting and worthwhile pursuit, my focus is primarily on things that I can understand about nature. I am fascinated by plants and the animals. I want to know why things work the way they work. I want to know how the universe works. I want to understand everything, right down to the very number of black holes in the universe. I guess, I just want to know everything and how it all fits together.”
“How it all fits together?” I asked, puzzled.
“Yes. The universe is like a giant puzzle, and every planet, every species, whether able to talk, or not, functions as a puzzle piece. I want to understand every piece. We are all part of one giant mechanism, in a sense. We may not see the forces that bring us all together, but they exist, as evidenced by the fact that I’m even talking to you right now. I should be on Earth, laying around and studying the extraterrestrial flowers that have begun to spring up in the Earth’s soil, to help to stimulate the atmosphere and produce healthy oxygen into the atmosphere.”
I considered this, impressed by the human’s great grasp on the world around us. I had never really thought about it much. Sure, I had always heard random philosophies about things being interconnected, but on a scientific scale, I had never really been interested. Meeting Zina, who was clearly so passionate about such matters, gave me a new interest and perspective on the matter.
“And do you ever find a piece that just really doesn’t fit?” I asked.
“Well,” Zina said, a broad smile creasing her face and making her features look even more attractive. “That’s when it starts to get interesting. Whether I know where it fits in or not, the universe does. Even if it is a completely undiscovered species or event, it has to fit in somewhere. Everything is nature. Everything happens because of the way nature is built. It has given us the resources that we have to build with, and is constantly building with those resources itself. Whether or not we understand what we are doing or what the universe itself is doing is another matter entirely. However, I am willing to bet that there is always some solution. I just have to look for it. And I always look until I find what I’m looking for.”
“I am sure you do,” I said, smiling. She looked down at the ground, her face doing that peculiar reddening again, before finally looking at me. I was shocked by the beauty that faced me, and had to look away. Now, perhaps I was beginning to understand why she found it so difficult to maintain eye contact with me.
“And what about you?” Shasked finally, walking quietly through the foliage with me. “Did you become a commander because you are passionate about it? Or did you just do it because it’s convenient and a good way to help to lift your family out of poverty?”
“Actually, I think that it is a little bit of both. I have always enjoyed taking the lead and situations, and it turns out that I’m very skilled at it. I suppose that I was able to excel because I don’t hold back and I always know what the most important goal is to achieve. Sometimes, prioritizing is extremely important. Especially if you are going to be a leader. But, I suppose that the leaders of my planet don’t actually understand the concept. If they did, perhaps the whole place wouldn’t be so focused on economy and equity over what the quality of life is like for the Raither people.”
Zina looked down at the ground and seems to be thinking this over. It was really nice to have somebody to talk to. Everybody usually assumed that I had become a commander simply because I wanted the glory. But that wasn’t it at all. I didn’t care what anybody thought of me. What I wanted to do was to make a difference in the world. And, on top of that, I wanted to be able to help my family and people like them. The society we lived in just simply wasn’t fair, andnd if I could do anything to make it better, I would.
“That’s a really nice thought,” she said finally. “A lot of the leaders of different planets tend to be very power oriented. It’s really discouraging. I wish that there was some way that we could change it, but there really isn’t. You have to overpower them before they will give it up. Theywould rather die than see somebody compassionate take the reins.”
I shrugged.
“You never know,” I said, my eyes twinkling at her. She gazed at me again, but this time, when the red flush began to creep across her cheeks, she did not look away. I took this as a good sign, and my chest was filled with a strange warmth that began to extend throughout my entire body. Somehow, this human was electric. And I had the sudden and powerful urge to touch her.
“I guess not,” she said, smiling up at me. I couldn’t believe how powerful my feelings were becoming for this human. She was quite incredible, and I wished that there was some way that I could perhaps begin to express my appreciation for her more profoundly. Unfortunately, all I could think to do was to physically appreciate her. And now that my mind had gone there, it was impossible to take it away.
Suddenly, I found myself standing in front of her, our eyes lingering on one another’s. She looked uncertain, but instead of backing away as she would have just a day before, this time, she stared up into my eyes, her full lips forming into that sweet smile. Without waiting for an invitation, I reached out my hand and tentatively touched her cheek. She pressed her cheek against my hand, and we stayed like that for a moment, each of us seeming to consider what this might mean.
Somehow, we were both okay with it, and the electricity of her body prompted me into action. I wrapped my arms around the human’s waist, and the dark flush on her cheeks deepened as my hands found their way to the supple curves of her body, gripping her by the glutes and pushing her against me, staring into her eyes as the power of my longing became obvious.
She gasped softly when she felt me against her, and we gazed into each other’s eyes just a moment longer. Suddenly, my mouth was against hers and we were kissing, right then and there, in broad daylight. I wanted so badly to take her to my own home; to claim her as mine and to promise her that Keldon Marcsu would never touch her again.
But those would be empty promises. And so I held her now, knowing that, at least now, in this present moment, the human was mine.