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Last but not Leashed: A Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) by R.J. Blain (3)

Chapter Three

When my boss ordered me to relax, I obeyed in the best way possible. I took a nap in her car, surrounded by her scent. Some commands were worth following, and I would’ve done as she said without hesitation, even without the pixie dust.

Jerome was probably right, though. Pixie dust was the best.

Pixie dust won me an invitation into my boss’s bed, and in the privacy of her home, her perfume couldn’t hide the truth. She was infected with lycanthropy, too. When I thought about it, all the signs had been there from the start. She had no fear of me or any other lycanthrope. There was nothing for her to fear.

The only thing she needed to worry about was picking a mate, and as a rare unmated infected female, she decided which male won her. Once word spread she was unmated, every single lycanthrope in the area would be after her. Looks didn’t matter to a lycanthrope, either, although I found her more attractive than most.

My virus probably had something to do with that.

If anyone found out she was an unmated lycanthrope, I wouldn’t be able to compete, not against so many other wolves. Even if I could, she was my boss. Wait. If I quit, just like I wanted, she wouldn’t be my boss, which meant I could compete for her. Defective fur coloration aside, I did have access to the hybrid form. Mated to me long enough, her virus would develop to allow her to access the hybrid form, too. If the hybrid form enticed her, I’d sacrifice my dignity and prance around in my electric purple and blue coat for however long she wanted.

That led me back to quitting. I needed to quit first and prance second. If she didn’t drive me off, shoot me, or otherwise reject my displays of interest, I’d figure something out. Ditching my job so I could attempt to convince my boss she wanted me around permanently hadn’t been a serious option before.

Then she’d talked about panties being dropped in my wake. While I had no interest in the panties of other women, my virus was more than interested in discovering what sort of panties she wore, if she’d drop them for me, and if she’d accept my posturing.

Allison had spoken the truth, and I wanted to know what my boss thought about it. Ethel Frankwell was the only woman I ever looked at twice. She also snored.

I’d heard softer trains.

Learning to sleep next to the equivalent of an ongoing explosion hadn’t been a part of my plans, but I’d make do. It occurred to me her snoring had woken me. Yawning, I lifted my head for a better look around. A dim glow from the hallway illuminated most of the room, which was a disaster of dirty laundry. If she cared I could see her lingerie, I’d be in trouble when she woke up. From corner to corner, lacy bras and panties waited to be cleaned up and run through the wash, which I determined was the primary source of her scent marker.

I doubted her lingerie did a good job of covering her.

Under no circumstances would I peek under the blanket to discover what she wore to bed. To keep a firm leash on myself and my virus, I wiggled off the bed, stretching out my forepaws so I wouldn’t thump to the floor.

She kept snoring.

I shifted to my hybrid form and prowled around her home, inhaling in her scent and memorizing her lycanthropy marker. To my astonishment, she lived in a tiny trailer. My apartment wasn’t much better, something I’d need to change if I somehow lured my boss into accepting me as her mate. While her trailer was small, rather battered, and old enough to tempt me into breaking things to give her a good excuse to move in with me, she had a washer and dryer tucked into a nook in the hallway.

Restless energy coursed through me, and the simple but tedious task of doing laundry would give me a chance to relax and regain control over my virus, which wanted me to return to bed with my boss, wake her, and test the waters to see if she was interested in me as a prospective mate.

Doing her laundry wouldn’t land me in too much hot water, would it? It was challenging to tiptoe when I weighed in at eight hundred pounds, but I managed, stealthily picking my way through her room and retrieving every piece of clothing I could get my paws on, careful to avoid tearing anything with my claws.

The nightstand clock informed me it was eight in the morning, which would trigger panic in my boss when she realized she’d slept in. Then again, I’d been convinced my boss never slept; no matter how early I showed up at the office, she was always there before me.

Stealing her clothes, I sorted them, taking my time checking labels so I wouldn’t ruin anything before starting the first load. Leaving the machine to work its magic on her laundry, I searched her trailer for my phone, wallet, and keys without success.

A sane man might have worried in my situation, but the thought of being at her mercy had me wagging my tail while I finished sorting through her clothes and preparing her delicates to be taken in for dry cleaning.

The shrill blare of an alarm startled me into yipping, and my boss snarled curses. The alarm fell silent. “Dale?”

I peeked into her bedroom to discover she held the mangled wreckage of her alarm in her hand. When I’d grown up and left home, my mother had never given me any helpful advice on how to handle a cranky woman in the morning.

I either needed a manual for women or a tour guide. Maybe I’d ask Jerome; he somehow survived mornings with Allison.

“My clothes are missing. Why? Where have my clothes gone?” She pointed at the cleaned floor, which was devoid of any lingerie.

“It’s not missing. It’s being sorted and cleaned.” I displayed my long, curved claws. “These tear clothes if I walk on them, so I picked them off the floor.”

“You’re doing my laundry?”

I relaxed at the astonishment in her voice. “I put aside the clothes that needs to go to the dry cleaners, and I sorted the rest by material and color.” Flicking an ear back, I glanced in the direction of her tiny kitchen. “I should’ve made coffee.”

“But you’re a guest. You should be in bed resting.”

The ‘in bed’ part interested my virus, but I rejected the concept that I should lounge around because I was within her territory. For a rare change, my uppity virus agreed with me.

My role was to provide. Hers was to decide, after I made my displays of interest, if she wanted me to be her mate. Until I could provide for her in a better environment, I wouldn’t be satisfied.

She deserved better.

Before I committed to taking the next step and displaying my interest, I had a few questions, although one was more important than the others. Prowling closer, I inhaled to catch her scent. “Your perfume hides the scent of your virus. Why do you hide your virus?”

“It’s made from wolfsbane blossoms. Most lycanthropes hate the smell. I’m used to it. I’ve been helping the CDC with an experiment. The goal is to help unmated lycanthropes avoid unwanted attention by masking the scent markers. We discovered an unexpected benefit, as the perfume also helps lower virus levels. They’re looking into developing it as a method to help lycanthropes stabilize their moods, especially during dangerous virus spikes. If we’re lucky, it’ll also help make it easier for younger lycanthropes to learn how to control their virus and their new instincts and impulses. You’re one of the few lycanthropes who seems to be attracted to the scent. This is especially unusual as you have a general aversion to most women. The CDC has asked several times if I could recruit you for experiments.”

The last thing I wanted was the CDC experimenting on me. I also didn’t want the organization experimenting on her, either, and my hackles rose at the thought. “There are circumstances,” I growled, giving my fangs a lick.

“I’m guessing it’s because I’m your boss.” She laughed and sat up, her blanket falling away to reveal a silky blouse that clung to her chest, which I recognized as one of her work shirts. “It’s not an issue. The CDC accounts for courting and mated pairs. I’d either remain your boss, depending on how our work dynamic changed, or you’d be elevated in rank and work alongside me as an equal. We might be moved to different departments. Some pairs work better together than others, but I expect we’d continue to work as a partnership. We’ve been working together long enough the CDC would hesitate to separate us. Assuming my position as your boss isn’t a factor, which it is not, what would you do, Mr. Jameson?”

I liked the way she growled my name. Crouching, I fought my desire to pounce and show her in intimate detail. “What do you want me to do?”

She chuckled, a low, throaty sound. “Before I answer that, has the pixie dust worn off yet?”

Unlike alcohol, when I got hold of a dose of pixie dust, I rarely comprehended when I was under its influence. I shrugged.

“Shift to human,” she ordered.

If I shifted back to human, I’d give her a full display, as I hadn’t found any of my clothes in her trailer. “But I have no clothes.”

Both of her brows shot up. “I gave you a full hit of the highest grade of pixie dust available. You really burned it off already?”

“I suppose.”

“I prefer you when you aren’t a mindless slave, so good. I’ve tested your patience—and your virus—for the past six years, ten months, and twenty days. After I get done with my mandatory work for the day, I’m going to call in, make sure everyone is prepared to take care of themselves for once, and make time so we can talk. Most of the talking, if I have my way, will be done in bed. Once we’re done talking, we’re going to discuss how we’re going to track down the lycanthrope that attacked Mr. Jones.”

Since when did I help with investigations? My boss did often enough, something that never failed to make me nervous, but I always filled in for the people unable to do their work because of the CDC—or because they were a victim and the CDC stepped in to provide help. “We are?”

“We are. After you went to bed last night, my boss called me. He thinks you’re the sort of man this lycanthrope wants in his pack. You have a very similar build and appearance to Mr. Jones. Once word spreads you’re an exotic hybrid, he thinks you’ll be targeted. I agree with him.” She smiled, and a glint in her eyes warned me of trouble brewing on the horizon. “Once word spreads I’m claiming you, you’ll be irresistible.”

My fur stood up on end, and I was torn between making a run for it to see if she would chase me, setting aside my need to prove I could be a suitable partner and accepting her offer without question, and testing to see if I could hide under her bed. “You want to claim me?”

“Is that truly so hard to believe?”

“Yes.” I flattened my ears and tried to relax, but tension quivered through me. “I thought I’d have to quit. Then I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. Beg, maybe. Being honest, I hadn’t gotten far into the quitting idea.”

“Well, you don’t need to quit. While I suspected you might be interested, I wasn’t going to push you. You’re very shy, especially around women. I didn’t want to scare you off.”

Shaking out my fur helped me to relax despite my conflicted instincts. “I didn’t want to do anything inappropriate.”

“Trying to stake a claim in public is inappropriate. Staking a claim in private is encouraged and expected. No one cares as long as you maintain your professionalism. As I’ve never seen you be anything other than a cool professional, I don’t anticipate any problems on that front. You don’t have to worry.”

“I hadn’t gotten around to quitting because I wasn’t sure what other work I could do. It was an issue.”

She chuckled. “Once again, not an issue. It’s really not. Now that the CDC is aware you have the hybrid form, I expect you’ll be evaluated and offered training within law enforcement or a higher position in the CDC. You’ll need a lot of training, though. I watched the security footage while you were having the transfusion. While you did a fine job tossing three of those wolves, the rest of your performance was awful. If I hadn’t heard you speak so clearly, I would’ve believed it was your first round in your hybrid form.”

She was kinder about my deficiencies than usual, but I still lowered my head and whined.

“Dale. There’s no reason to be ashamed of your fur. You do need to learn how to protect yourself in all your forms. That’s non-negotiable.”

“I’m bright purple.”

“And? I like it.” My boss patted her bed in invitation. “Come into bed, stretch out, and relax while I take care of my morning rounds. While I expect it’ll take you a long time to accept the truth, I’ll show you how much I like your fur every day if necessary.”

Intrigued by her offer and wondering how she intended to show me how much she liked my fur, I joined her in bed. She scratched under my chin, and I flopped onto the mattress, stretching my neck so my muzzle rested on her pillow. I meant to only close my eyes for a few moments, but her fingers in my fur and my contented virus eased me to sleep.

* * *

Jerome’s snickers woke me, and I growled over his interruption of my nap. “He’s just catching up on sleep, Ethel. Between the strain to his virus and having a sense of security, it’s no surprise he’s taking advantage of the chance to rest.” Someone poked my shoulder, and I growled again. “Dale, the average toddler fights better than you do, so stop snarling at me. Allison’s in the kitchen making you breakfast. Up, up. You’re worrying Ethel.”

“He slept through yesterday and the entire night,” my boss complained.

Jerome grabbed my ear and twisted. Yowling, I batted at my alpha, earning a swat across my muzzle. “Up, Dale. You’re worrying Ethel, and when Ethel worries, she finds some way to annoy me. I have been annoyed enough for one week.”

“Jerome.” I bared my teeth and cracked open an eye. My threat of violence didn’t stop him from yanking on my ear again. “I’m awake, damn it.”

“See? Just get rough with him next time. A sharp tug on the ear usually does the trick. Dale, I went to your apartment and brought over some clothes for you. This trailer’s a bit small for you like that, so shift already. How the hell did you get any sleep, Ethel? He’s all but taken over your bed.”

“I improvised. For the record, he has a very thick fur coat and is a quiet sleeper. I don’t think he even noticed my weight.”

“With his ass so fat, I’m not surprised by that at all. Get your act together, Dale. I know you’re having a hell of a week, but you need to resume functioning.”

I yawned, stretched, and considered grabbing my boss’s pillow and shoving it over my head. “It hasn’t been that bad.”

“Really? I find that hard to believe.”

“She said I don’t have to quit.”

“Why would you quit?” Jerome paused and sighed. “Oh, right. No, you don’t. The CDC should accommodate you two love birds, I’m sure. If you’re leaving the singles market, I recommend you take the rest of the week off. She’ll wear you out and then some. Also, I have been told from a very good source if you do a swapping blood transfusion, one bag each, you’ll give your mating bond a good jump start. Of course, you’ll need to get in a few rounds of actual mating in first, but I’m sure Allison wouldn’t mind doing the transfusions.”

“I’m not his blood type,” Ethel growled.

Allison bounced into the bedroom. “That’s why you have to get in a few rounds of mating first. Establish the mating bond and the virus will take care of the rest. I’m available tomorrow afternoon before work if you two decide to get it on and need a boost to your bond. You could send him back to his contracting work on Thursday morning. Also, I find it amusing you know his blood type.”

“It’s my job to know.”

“Sure it is. Because you know the blood types of all your contractors?”

My boss’s face turned a suspicious shade of red. “Allison!”

“I’m really good at getting people to tell me my name. I think it’s a magical power. Do you think the CDC will upgrade my rating, Jerome?”

“Keep dreaming, dear. Stop butting in. I was trying to get them to take the entire week off.”

“Ethel is involved. She’s not going to take an entire week off. She’ll fret over work, then Dale will get worried and start fretting, then we’ll have to deal with them being anxious.”

Either I was still asleep and dreaming or my life had taken a sharp left into the weird unknown. “Say what?”

Allison glared at me. “Dale, quiet. I’m busy making certain you’re happily mated by the end of the week. You’ve got the relationship skills of a train wreck.”

I sighed, shook my head, and considered getting out of bed and finding a quiet, private place to shift and get dressed so I wouldn’t have to put up with the alphas on a mission, no matter how much I liked the idea of them succeeding at their twisted plan. “Train wrecks don’t have relationship skills.”

“Exactly. Now shush. Ethel, you’re going to have to use a blunt bat on him. Until you get him to per—”

“Control your mate!” I howled, twisting to swipe at Jerome as Allison would kick my ass into next week. I got tangled in my boss’s blanket and crashed to the floor, the breath whooshing out of my lungs.

My boss crouched beside me. “You okay, Dale?”

“Please make them stop,” I begged.

“No, I don’t think so. He’s right. So is she. You’re denser than a rock.” Smiling, she patted my head. “It’s okay. We can take our time. I need to get you to call me by my first name, which will be a challenge. As long as you’re aware I’m claiming you, I can be patient.”

Jerome crouched beside me and poked my nose. “Please let her claim you. Maybe she’ll stop wearing that damned wolfsbane perfume all the time.”

I flattened my ears. “I like her perfume.”

“That’s because you’re stubborn and obsessed. The rest of us don’t like it. It burns our noses. I would’ve brought her into our pack years ago if it weren’t for that damned perfume.”

My boss chuckled. “Once I’ve staked my claim and the CDC has a chance to evaluate how it influences our mating bond, I’ll stop using it. It’s just part of the test study to see what happens if I express interest in a male. If it prevents the mating bond from taking hold, we’ll submit the test results and I’ll stop using the perfume. We might need to borrow you for testing, Jerome.”

“Spray that shit on me, and I will dump your ass into the harbor, Ethel.”

“Like hell you—”

My boss clamped her hands around my muzzle. “Down, Dale. No killing Jerome in my trailer. My trailer won’t survive if you romp with him in here.”

“I’ll keep an eye on you and sniff whenever I see you. When I notice anything, I’ll tell you. Really, I’ll have to watch Dale. For someone as hopeless as he is, there are a lot of ladies who’ve asked me if he’s available. He just has no interest in anyone,” he complained.

I had plenty of interest in someone, but I still had a lot of thinking and planning to do before I could move to the next stage, which involved accepting her claim.

Thinking of her as Ethel rather than my boss rose to the top spot along with finding a new place to live coming in as a close second.

Allison snickered. “There’s nothing wrong with being last but not leashed. Hell, half the time I wish I’d waited before I got leashed to this lout. He’s a pain in the ass. I’m pretty sure Dale will be a far superior male, Ethel.”

“Allison,” Jerome complained.

“You deserve it for teasing him so much. I swear, you’re the pack’s worst gossip sometimes. Ethel is perfectly capable of figuring out how to stake her claim before someone else does.”

I eyed the bed, wondering if I could cram myself beneath it. Cursing my eight hundred pounds of bulk and muscle, I redirected my gaze to the door and contemplated staging an escape.

As though sensing my intentions, Ethel sat on my back. “I’m sure I can. Thank you for bringing his clothes over. Do you two have any other unasked for advice?”

“Feed him and send him home tonight so he can relax in his territory,” Jerome replied.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Please do.” Jerome hopped to his feet. “Oh, and Ethel?”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about Dana. She has more issues than National Geographic, but she does mean well. She just feels guilty she jumped on Pete and dumped Dale like he had the plague. Pete had his first-shift flare, which attracted her. Now she tries to be all politically correct around Dale, and it annoys the pack because she upsets him every single time. He’s sensitive.”

“Dana had her chance with him. She’s got plenty of puppies to worry about, so she can keep her attention away from him,” Ethel snarled.

“Please don’t put Dana in her place, however much she deserves it. It’ll upset Mr. Sensitive, and when he’s upset, the entire pack gets riled up. Honestly, our pack is so damned stable because we don’t want to upset him. Had I known Mr. Sensitive’s issues stemmed from the color of his fur, I would’ve done something about it already.”

I growled at Jerome, earning another swat to the snout.

“If you say dye, I’ll hit you.”

I liked the idea of Ethel smacking Jerome around enough I pricked my ears forward and held my breath.

“No, we won’t dye him. We’ll be more aggressive about him coming out to play as a wolf, though. We’ll also push harder to get him to hunt with us. On our next hunt, I’m expecting you to come with us. We can bring you into our pack sometime in the next few days, too. No more of your lone wolf whining nonsense. Dale won’t be able to handle you being outside of the pack if you’re seriously pursuing him. That should get him moving in the right direction.”

“How about your pack join me for a hunt for the lycanthrope who attacked Mr. Jones? He’s consented to a transfusion of his future-mate’s blood; fortunately for them, they’re the same blood type. It should ensure he contracts her virus instead of his attacker’s. But we can’t let this lycanthrope hunt people. My boss believes Dale fits the profile, so he’ll be working the mall, and it’s my job to make sure there’s a team watching Dale and is ready for the pickup if this lycanthrope shows up.”

I wasn’t looking forward to the foreseeable future, although there were perks, including close proximity with the woman I desired as much as my virus did. I listened, tense beneath her, waiting for Jerome to decide what to do.

“We’re in. I’ll ask around the pack and see about setting up a shift to keep an eye on him. Some rogue lycanthrope taking off with one of my betas would make me the laughingstock of the entire state.”

“Good. I’ll talk with my boss and put together a compensation package. We might be able to arrange contractors to cover shifts, too. The attack on Dale is being viewed as a direct consequence of the attack on Mr. Jones, so it’s under CDC jurisdiction. The pack, which lives a few towns over, is responsible for paying for the neutralizer we used, but they’re on a payment plan.”

Jerome grimaced. “Ouch. How much is that going to ding them?”

“We dumped ten thousand down the drain making sure no one contracted Dale’s virus. They have a twenty-member pack, so it works out to a reasonable amount per person. It’s a token slap, but the boss thought it was necessary to remind them they really shouldn’t go hunting other lycanthropes and putting the public at general risk. It was her second shift as a hybrid, but her virus levels aren’t anywhere near as high as Dale’s.”

“All right. After we take care of this situation, we’ll do a proper pack hunt, and I’m expecting you to bring Dale out in a fur coat. I don’t care which version of his fur coat, but there will be no getting out of it or tagging along as a human anymore. Understood?”

“I hate you sometimes.”

Ethel scratched me behind my ears. “It’s okay. I’ll protect you.”

Jerome cackled. “Someone has to protect you, Dale. You fight like shit—and we’ll be addressing that problem starting on Friday morning before you go to work. You got your ass handed to you.”

Damn it. “It’s not like I get into many fights as a wolf.”

“You don’t get into any fights, period. You need to be able to protect yourself. We aren’t going to be able to hide you have access to the hybrid form for long, and that means you need to handle whatever anyone tosses your way. Friday morning at six. Go ahead and try to run. That’ll make this even more fun for me.”

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