Chapter 4
Rather than being stuck in his closet of an office, Luke had brought the stacks of dreaded pub paperwork that occupied way too much of his time these days to a table by the window that looked out onto the bay. That view, at least, made the prospect of spending the next couple of hours dealing with numbers and invoices slightly less daunting.
He’d barely made a dent in the work when the door at O’Brien’s opened and Moira came in with Kate in her stroller.
“Da!” Kate exclaimed ecstatically when she spotted him. She immediately held out her arms.
All thoughts of invoices and supply orders vanished as Luke reached for his daughter. His gaze, though, kept straying to his wife.
“What brings you by? Did you have a meeting with Megan? And why is this little angel with you, rather than your mother?”
“After we all had breakfast at Sally’s, I dropped my mother off at Connor’s office. There were some forms they needed to go over,” she said.
Her anxious tone provided a clue for Luke, but her pacing was a dead giveaway that something about that meeting was upsetting his wife.
“And that has you worried?” Luke asked, frowning. “Why? Did Connor suggest there might be a problem? Is something holding up the visa application?”
“No, to the contrary, he thinks this will be the last bit of paperwork needed to satisfy immigration.”
“That’s great news,” Luke said, lifting Kate high into the air until she giggled.
“You might want to watch that,” Moira warned. “She just ate an entire pancake at Sally’s, then went after Mum’s eggs. Our little one has the appetite of a horse now that she’s trying regular food, but she hasn’t learned when to stop.”
“Yes, my worrywart,” Luke said, shifting Kate till her feet touched the ground and she could cling to his knee to stay upright. “You know, I think she’s very close to walking.”
Moira regarded him incredulously. “She’s not going to be a year old for another month. She’s still falling on her bum whenever she tries.”
“But that’s the point, isn’t it?” Luke said. “She’s trying. She’s not satisfied with crawling.”
“I suppose,” Moira responded distractedly, still pacing.
“Okay, that’s it,” Luke said. “Something is on your mind. Tell me. You’ve learned by now that I’m no mind reader. Is your work not going well?”
Moira shrugged. “Megan’s pleased with it, or says she is. She’d like me to do more and faster, but I’m working at a pace that gives me time at home. I’ve told her I don’t intend to sacrifice that.”
“And is she pressuring you to do otherwise?”
“She doesn’t say it, at least not anymore, but I know she’s disappointed. She thought I’d have more free time with my mother here.”
“Don’t you?” Luke asked, puzzled by her mood and the entire conversation. Communication skills varied widely between the average man and woman, he’d discovered. For him and Moira, it was as if they spoke entirely different languages and, quite possibly in her case, from some universe not yet discovered.
“Of course I have more time than I did. I’m out with my camera almost every day now, while Mum watches Kate,” she said impatiently, as if he should already know the obvious answer. “And when my mum is here, Kate’s at day care. I’ve more than enough time. This isn’t about work, Luke.”
“But it is something,” he said, seizing on the admission, albeit an incredibly skimpy one. “If it’s not your work or the meeting with Connor...”
“Where I was very pointedly told I wasn’t needed,” she grumbled.
Uh-oh, Luke thought. “And that offended you?”
“Well, of course it did. It’s never pleasant being dismissed, but if you’re thinking that’s the issue, you’d be wrong.”
Luke bit back a sigh he knew would only escalate the frustrating conversation. “Moira, love, just tell me in simple English that my dense male mind can comprehend.”
She scowled at his attempt at humor, then sighed herself. “To be honest, I miss being here, working by your side.”
He grinned, hoping to lighten her dark mood. “Is it me you miss or the paperwork?” He shoved a stack in her direction. “I’d be more than happy to turn these over to you and go for a long walk with our Kate.”
She shook her head, though she did crack a smile. “Nice try, but paperwork was always your domain. I miss the people,” she said candidly. “I didn’t expect to, since there were days I thought they’d drive me mad changing their orders or complaining that something wasn’t just right.”
“If this is about the company, then, I don’t understand. You’re in here at some point every day. You still see everyone.”
“It’s not the same.” She sighed again, then lifted her troubled gaze to his. “You’re going to think I’ve lost it, but I think I’m a little jealous of my mum taking my place.”
He was beginning to get what she was saying, but he was far from understanding any of it. “But this was your idea, Moira. Having your mom here, not just for a visit, but working here.”
“I know. That’s what makes my feelings so ridiculous. Having her here was what I wanted. She and I are getting along better than we ever did back home. I think she’s feeling more at home here every day. You should see her now at Sally’s in the morning. In just a few short days, she’s become one of the O’Brien women. They all turn to her for an opinion and laugh at her stories from Ireland. She’s got them all wanting another family vacation over there, I think, so be prepared for that.”
Literal minefields had nothing on the dangers of trying to pick his way carefully through a conversation with his wife. “And you’re feeling left out? Replaced? What?”
“It’s the same as in here, as if I don’t know how I fit in anymore.” She covered her face, clearly embarrassed. “Next thing you know, I’ll be complaining she’s taken my place in our home, too.”
Luke bit back a desire to laugh. “I don’t think she’ll ever replace you with me, Moira,” he said, fighting to keep his tone serious.
Another hint of a smile touched her lips then vanished. “I’m not thinking that, you idiot. But she is making herself indispensable there, too. I’m surprised at how quickly that’s come about.”
Luke didn’t credit himself with a lot of insightfulness, particularly where his wife was concerned, but he thought maybe he knew what was going on. “Moira, did you by any chance see yourself as your mum’s savior when you suggested bringing her here?” He could tell by the flush in her cheeks that he was on the right track. “And has it turned out that, perhaps, she’s quite capable of saving herself? That she saw she was heading down an old path and was ready to step in a new direction?”
She regarded him with a narrowed gaze. “When did you get to be so smart and insightful?”
He couldn’t quite tell if she was impressed by that or if it was another of the day’s annoyances for her. “You’ve given me plenty of practice at sorting through the hints you toss about,” he told her. “I’m learning to put the puzzle pieces together.”
“Congratulations,” she said wryly. “So how do I fix my feelings, when even I can see that I should be happy that she’s adjusting and that things are going so well?”
“Maybe you should try congratulating yourself for assessing what she needed and simply getting her here. It wasn’t up to you to fix her sadness, but you insisted she come to a place where she could find her own path to healing.”
“I didn’t expect it to happen quite so fast,” she admitted. “It’s as if she’s forgotten all about Peter.”
There was a despondent, accusatory note in her voice that spoke volumes. “Do you feel as if she’s betraying him just because she’s choosing to live her life?” he asked.
She frowned at the suggestion. “No, of course not. It’s what I hoped for, isn’t it?”
“So you said at the time you invited her here, but perhaps you’re finding the reality a little more jarring.”
She fell silent. Luke waited her out. Moira was never quiet for long.
“Okay, yes,” she said eventually. “I saw the blush on her cheeks when she came out of the kitchen the other night after talking to Bryan. There’s something between those two. I think it’s disrespectful to Peter’s memory.”
“Ah, so that’s what this is really about,” Luke said, realizing they’d finally hit on the real source of her misery. She’d adored Peter and hoped her mother would have a future with him. Now she feared that Kiera wasn’t mourning him as he deserved. Even if her emotions were contradictory and all over the place, he had to accept they existed and try to console her.
“Moira, for starters, I don’t think you need to worry that your mother has forgotten Peter or her feelings for him,” Luke said quietly. “I’ve found her in tears more than once when I’ve come home late at night, and each time she’s said how much she misses him.”
Moira looked startled. “You’ve found my mother in tears and never told me?”
“I caught her in private moments. They weren’t mine to reveal,” he said. “As for Bryan, that’s another thing about which you’re worrying for no reason.”
“I know what I saw,” she said stubbornly.
Luke laughed. “And I’ve seen it, too, on Bryan’s side, but neither of them is prepared to do a single thing about it. Bryan, at least, is in denial that he has any feelings for your mother at all. He views her as a necessary nuisance, or so he claims. And your mother sees only that they’re battling wits over control of the kitchen, since he’s rejected every suggestion she’s dared to make since I encouraged her to speak up. I’m seriously tempted to make her his sous chef, just to watch the fireworks.”
“Don’t you dare!” Moira said, then paused and chuckled at last. “Though it might be fun to watch. Bryan’s always seemed a bit closed off and quiet. I like him a lot, but the truth is we know very little about him or his personal life outside of the pub. Seeing the two of them rile each other could be entertaining.”
“Well, it’s something to consider, once your mother’s status is clarified and we can officially put her on the payroll,” Luke said. “I think she’s struggling with how to handle things with her status unresolved. I hope Connor’s right that the paperwork will go through soon. She needs that to feel secure about speaking out.”
Suddenly Kate released her grip on his knee and hit the floor with a solid thud. Her cries filled the pub. Moira picked her up and cuddled her close.
“I suppose she tired of not getting any attention from either of us,” she said.
“Following in your footsteps, perhaps,” Luke teased. “Weren’t you staging your own cry for attention when you came in the door just now?”
“I suppose you’ll hold that over my head,” she grumbled.
Instead, Luke pulled his wife and daughter onto his lap. He tucked a finger under Moira’s chin and turned her face toward him, then kissed her soundly. “If you ever need reassurance about how important you are in my life, all you need to do is say so,” he told her solemnly. “You and Kate are my world.”
“More important than O’Brien’s?” she asked, a smile on her lips.
“More important than anything.” And that was something he needed no coaching to know was exactly the right thing to say.
* * *
Kiera had stood outside the door of the pub watching Moira, Luke and Kate for a moment and concluded this time together, just the three of them, was something they needed. She was in the middle of their lives a little more than she ought to be these days.
Since she wasn’t due at work for another hour and wasn’t needed to help with Kate, she headed for her father’s. It was a pleasant morning for a walk along the bay with the sunlight filtered through sprawling oak trees and the sweet scent of lilacs strong in the air.
She found Dillon and Nell in the kitchen, a pot of freshly brewed Irish breakfast tea on the table and the familiar scent of currant scones coming from the oven.
“Are you sure I’m not interrupting?” she asked, sensing she’d stumbled across another cozy, intimate scene that emphasized the emptiness in her life. Funny how she’d gone for years without feeling so adrift and after just a few months of being close to Peter, she felt it with sudden and depressing clarity.
“You’re family. How could you possibly be interrupting?” Nell said, pouring her a cup of tea without asking and bringing a warm scone to the table.
The aromas brought back a wave of memories from Ireland that put tears in her eyes.
“Are you missing home?” Dillon asked.
“Yes and no,” she said. She gestured at the tea and scone. “These do stir so many memories, but in general I’ve been quite happy here. In fact, I’ve been surprised by how well I’m adapting.” She gave her father a wry look. “Just as you said I would.”
He laughed. “I’m surprised you didn’t choke on those words.”
“I’m capable of admitting when I’ve been wrong about something,” she said. “In this case, it’s not so much that I was wrong, as that you had better foresight than I did.”
“And a lovely spin that is,” Dillon said, but he was laughing as he said it.
Kiera allowed herself a smile, then debated revealing something that had been on her mind for a few days now.
“There are a few changes I’ve been contemplating,” Kiera told them eventually. “I think I should start looking for my own place. I met with Connor earlier this morning, and he says we should have the last of the details settled for my work visa in another week. If I’m to stay for a few months, if not a little longer, I can’t continue to impose on Luke and Moira. They’re practically newlyweds. They don’t need me underfoot.” She gave them both a stern look. “And don’t think I haven’t realized that I was never needed to care for Kate.”
“A child always needs a grandmother, if only to spoil them, and to pass along a little wisdom,” Nell corrected.
“And I can do as much if I have my own place,” Kiera said. “I’ll begin looking as soon as my work status is finalized.”
“You mentioned other changes,” Nell said. “What are those?”
“Not a change so much, as a desire to feel more a part of Chesapeake Shores. I’ve spent a little time with your family recently, and they all lead incredibly active, busy lives. I think I’ve spent my life so focused on work that I’ve never had the opportunity to take on other commitments. I’d like to give that a try. If I’m to have that full, well-rounded life everyone seems so intent on my having, I think that’s the next step.”
Dillon regarded her with delight. “I think it’s wonderful that you’re interested in taking on something new. You’ll find that giving back in some way can be incredibly fulfilling.”
“I agree,” Nell said, her expression turning thoughtful. “And I might have some ideas along that line.”
“Of course she does,” Dillon said. “Watch out, Kiera. Nell has her fingers in a lot of community pies, so to speak. Next thing you know, you’ll find you don’t have a minute to yourself anymore.”
“That would be just fine by me,” Kiera said. “I need more to do and less time to think.”
“Then I will see to it,” Nell said, looking delighted by the prospect.
“Thank you both for listening,” Kiera said. “And for the tea and scone. It felt like a moment out of time. It was...” She searched for the right word. “Comforting, that’s it. It felt like home. I think I needed that this morning. Now, though, I need to get to the pub, or Luke and Moira will wonder what on earth has happened to me. Moira will be driving around, thinking I’ve gotten lost. She watches over me and frets as if I haven’t an ounce of sense.”
“She just wants to make sure you’re happy here,” Dillon said. “It’s what we all want. Now, would you like a ride back to the pub?”
“Thanks, but I’m fine with the walk. It’s a lovely spring morning. Everyone tells me it will soon be too hot here to enjoy a stroll by the water, though I can’t imagine such a thing.”
She pressed a kiss to her father’s cheek and then, impulsively, to Nell’s. “I’ll see you soon.”
“You can count on that,” Nell said.
“And there’s your only warning to run while you still can or leave yourself to my wife’s mercy,” Dillon said.
“Stop with your nonsense, Dillon O’Malley,” Nell scolded. “I’ve only Kiera’s best interests at heart. She’ll tell me the minute she feels overwhelmed—won’t you, Kiera?”
“I’ve always been known to speak my mind. Isn’t that so, Dad?” she said wryly.
“True enough.”
Kiera left their cottage feeling warmed by more than the familiar tea and scone. How long had it been since she’d truly felt part of a family? Longer than she could recall. It felt surprisingly good.
* * *
“You took a long time to get here,” Moira told Kiera when she walked through the door at the pub.
“I decided to pay a visit to your grandfather and Nell, so you and Luke could have a bit of time together.”
Moira gave her an odd look that Kiera couldn’t quite interpret, so she didn’t bother trying. “I need to touch base with Luke and see what he wants me to do today.”
“Not before you tell me how it went with Connor after the two of you pointedly told me I wasn’t needed.”
Kiera heard the hurt in her voice. “It was hardly that you weren’t needed. Kate was too restless to keep still while we went over so many boring details.”
Moira looked surprisingly startled. “That’s all it was?”
“What else would it be? Did you think we were keeping secrets from you?” Kiera asked. “You heard the most important part, that he’s convinced my status will be resolved within a week or two at the most. As a temporary consultant, I can hardly be taking a job from an American, since being from Ireland is in the job description.”
“And you’ll be able to stay for how long? Did you discuss permanent residency?”
Kiera frowned. “That was never under consideration, Moira. We’re looking at a six-month work visa, perhaps a year at the outside. I don’t think we can stretch it further than that.”
“You have family here,” Moira argued. “You’ll have work. You could apply to become a legal resident. That’s what should have been discussed.”
“A discussion for another time,” Kiera countered. “I’m not prepared to make such a decision yet.”
Her daughter looked thoroughly dismayed by her response.
“Aren’t you happy here?” Moira asked. “I thought you were. I thought you’d been adapting really well, in fact.”
“Darling, I am happy. This change has definitely been good for me, exactly as you’d hoped. Do we have to take another leap already?”
Now Moira looked oddly guilty. “I just want you to know that we like having you here with us. I know Granddad wants you to stay on.”
“Your grandfather knows where I stand on this. We all need to focus on the here and now and not be looking too far down the road just yet.” She studied her daughter’s expression. “Are you thinking for some reason that I’ve been feeling unwanted?”
“Maybe I was afraid that I’d made you feel uncomfortable somehow,” Moira admitted. “Sometimes I send out mixed signals. Ask Luke. He’s been victimized by my mood swings.”
Kiera chuckled. “And haven’t I known you since the day you were born? Your mood swings come as no surprise to me.” She put her hand to Moira’s flushed cheek. “You and Luke have been wonderful to me. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done. It’s made things so much easier. I still miss Peter dreadfully, but I realize that life will go on, if I remain open to it. And it’s easier here, where I’m not constantly reminded of the loss.”
“It will get even easier, you know,” Moira said earnestly. “And your life can be better than ever. Luke came into my life just when I was thinking I had nothing of value to offer anyone. And then my photography was discovered by Peter, and then Megan. And now I have baby Kate, too. A few years ago, I could never have imagined such things. I want that for you, too.”
“A baby at my age? That might be a bit over the top when it comes to wishful thinking,” Kiera teased. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”
Moira looked startled for an instant, then chuckled. “Do you have any idea how it makes me feel to see you laughing and making jokes?”
“Which only shows how seldom I allowed myself to enjoy life for far too long. That’s changing, Moira, and you’re to be thanked for some of that.”
“And now you’re making me cry,” Moira said, brushing at the tears tracking down her cheeks. “I’m going into Luke’s office to steal my daughter back and take her home before I scare off the customers with my tears.”
Kiera followed Moira to the back, then waited outside the door of the cramped office until she’d gathered up Kate and kissed her husband goodbye.
“See you later, my little ones,” she said as they passed by.
Moira paused, her expression startled. “You always used to say that on your way out the door when my brothers and I were young.”
“I did,” Kiera said. “I’m surprised you remembered.”
“Your leaving was the saddest, most memorable part of my day,” Moira admitted. “I was never awake to hear you come in at night. I never had that moment of joy, though the boys did. Sometimes I remember lying in my bed, hearing you through the door and feeling so left out.”
Tears welled in Kiera’s eyes. “And you never once crawled out of bed to join us.”
Moira shrugged. “I suppose I thought it would make you mad to discover I was still awake.” She gave Kiera a wry look. “Or perhaps I was just being stubborn. I was quite good at that.”
“Indeed you were. I hope you’ve grown up to learn how important it is to make clear what you need. It was a lesson I learned far too late myself.”
“I’m still working on it,” Moira said. “Luke reminds me time and again that he’s not a mind reader. It forces me to speak up, even when I think he should figure things out on his own.”
“It’s a much healthier way to live,” Kiera said. “Rather than letting resentments build.”
Moira hesitated, then said, “One of these days we should talk about my brothers. You rarely mention them. There must be some reason for that.”
Kiera stiffened. “They’ve gone their own way,” she said tightly. “But we can discuss that another time. It’s past time for me to be earning my keep around here today.”
Moira’s gaze narrowed. “That cryptic answer is not enough to satisfy me, you know. But I will wait since our Kate needs to get home for some lunch.”
Kiera stared after them as they left, then sighed. Her sons were a topic always guaranteed to fill her with anxiety. She’d resigned herself to the reality that they were past her influence. Those memories Moira had of the three of them laughing late at night were from a very distant past, one she doubted they would ever recapture.