Chapter 22
After her visit to Chesapeake Shores, Deanna waited a couple of days to give herself time to seriously consider her impulsive decision to transfer to Johns Hopkins to complete her undergraduate work in premed. Now she was sitting, cell phone in hand, trying to decide if her first call should be to Dr. Robbins to ask for guidance in making it happen or to Ash to tell him about her decision. Even though he’d been the one to suggest it, she couldn’t help wondering if he’d be hurt by her final decision to move farther away from home. No matter how supportive he seemed, she knew he’d been counting on her since her mom died.
“You seem deep in thought,” Milos said, sitting down beside her. “Is there a problem? I’m happy to listen.”
She smiled at the serious young man whose friendship she’d come to value. He was thoughtful and capable of listening without censure. He might turn out to be exactly the sounding board she needed.
Starting slowly to try to put her rambling thoughts in order, she explained what was going on in her life.
“This would be a significant change,” he concluded.
She nodded. “That’s why I’m so confused. I’m worried about hurting the man who raised me and rushing a relationship with a father I’ve only known briefly.”
“But isn’t what’s best for your future also important?” Milos asked, pushing his glasses back into place to study her more intently.
“Of course.”
“And would you be getting the best education here? If so, isn’t that what matters? If it allows you time to get to know your biological father, that is a bonus, yes?”
“Yes,” she said, grateful for the fresh perspective.
“And didn’t you tell me that your stepfather came to see you recently just to have pizza and talk?”
She smiled, mostly because Milos, unlike many of the men she’d met over her college years, had actually paid attention to things she’d told him. “Yes.”
“Then he could do that more often, perhaps, or you could still get home for a weekend.”
“You make it sound so simple,” she said, laughing.
“I think perhaps it is, when you take all of the tangled emotions out of it.”
Impulsively, she threw her arms around him, startling him. “Thank you,” she said as he blushed.
“Then you will try to enroll here?” he concluded.
“Yes.”
He nodded, a satisfied smile curving his lips. “I’m glad, because it seems I am going to be staying on, too,” he told her, beaming at his news. “The arrangements were made just yesterday. Professor Wheeler asked if I was interested, and when I told him I was, he got on the phone and, just like that, pulled strings to make it happen.”
“Milos, that’s wonderful! Why didn’t you mention it sooner?”
He shrugged. “I’m used to the fact that sometimes dreams don’t work out.” He smiled shyly. “This one did.”
“I’m so happy for you and happy that we might get to spend more time together.” She hesitated. “That is, if you don’t think your girlfriend back home will object.”
He sighed. “I think that is over. She knew coming here for the summer was important to me, but I think she’s tired of being left on her own. Unlike me, she is very social, what you might call a party girl. She told me she is already seeing other people.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“It was not meant to be,” he said, sounding surprisingly philosophical about it. “And this opportunity will give me the future I want. I want to be part of a team that discovers a cure for cancer or Alzheimer’s. I want to do something that matters.”
“And I believe you will,” Deanna encouraged him. “I’ve heard Professor Wheeler himself say that you have great promise as a research scientist. It’s been evident all summer how much he values your work. He even gave you a small project of your own.”
“A very small one,” he said.
“Yes, but none of the rest of us was given any independent research to do. That’s a real accomplishment, Milos.”
“I hope I can live up to his expectations,” he said modestly. “I will certainly try my best.”
“Between us we will save a lot of lives one of these days,” Deanna said confidently. Suddenly she was excited by all of the possibilities ahead of her. “I’d better call my adviser at the University of Virginia and see what she can do about making this transfer official. And then I’ll call my stepfather.”
“Then I will leave you to it,” Milos said.
“Thanks for helping me to clarify things,” she called after him.
“You already knew what you wanted,” he said. “I did very little beyond listening.”
Deanna stared after him. He obviously had no idea just how important listening and a few thought-provoking questions could be.
She made the call to Dr. Robbins and set things in motion, then called Ash several times until she finally caught him as he was coming in the door from work.
“At this hour? It’s nearly nine. You’re working too hard,” she scolded him.
“Are you calling just to check up on me?” he teased, laughing. “Has our relationship flipped on its head?”
“I wasn’t, but perhaps I need to start.”
“Tell me why you did call,” he suggested. “But first let me set down the bag of takeout I brought home with me.”
Deanna didn’t like the impression she was getting of his lifestyle these days. “What kind of takeout?”
“Would you feel better if I told you it was a giant salad from Whole Foods?”
“Yes, but I’m betting it’s Chinese from Imperial Palace.”
He sighed. “You know me too well. Now talk to me, while I eat the Kung Pao chicken before it gets cold.”
“I’ve decided to make the transfer to Johns Hopkins,” she blurted, aware that the rustling of paper and plastic utensils in the background suddenly stopped.
“I see,” he said slowly.
“You sound as if you have mixed feelings,” she said worriedly, then reminded him, “It was your suggestion.”
“I mentioned it because I thought it might be a good option.”
“But now you’re having second thoughts?”
“That depends on why you’re doing it. If it’s for your education, I’m all for it. If it’s only about being closer to your father, then it does concern me.”
“What if it’s both?” she asked.
“Let me just ask you this. If things don’t work out between you and your father or get awkward or he has little time for you, any of those things, will you still be happy to be in Baltimore at Johns Hopkins?”
“Absolutely,” she said without hesitation. “I’m loving everything about this program here.”
“If that’s the case, then I’m all for the transfer,” he said, though he didn’t sound as enthusiastic as she’d hoped.
“Ash, things are going well between Bryan and me,” she said, hoping to reassure him. “I think we both want this chance to make up for the time we lost.”
“I just don’t want you to be disappointed if things don’t work out the way you envisioned. Your mother left him for a reason.”
“I know, and it probably made perfect sense to her at the time, but a lot of time has passed. He’s not the same person, and I’m an adult now. I think I’ll be able to decide for myself if he’s selfish or too self-involved or whatever it was that drove her away. He’s been pretty open about how he put career over family back then.”
“He could do that again,” Ash cautioned. “It’s one thing for you to show up out of the blue and have this happy reunion that lasts for a day or even a weekend, but what happens if you’re coming around all the time wanting his attention? He’s had years now when he’s been able to devote himself to work without any competing demands. The tendency to be a workaholic could be even stronger now.”
“It won’t be like that. I’m sure of it. Why are you suddenly against this?”
“I’m probably worrying for nothing,” Ash admitted. “I just don’t want to see you hurt.”
“I won’t be. My eyes are wide-open and my expectations aren’t high. I promise.”
“Okay, then. You know you have my full support. Whatever you need from me to make this happen, just ask.”
“I love you, Ash,” she said, hoping again to reassure him. “That’s never, ever going to change.”
“Back at you,” he said softly. “Keep me posted on what’s going on.”
“Absolutely.”
As Deanna hung up, she couldn’t help feeling vaguely deflated. Because she’d always trusted his judgment without question, Ash’s concerns had worked their way into her head. It wasn’t enough to make her change her mind about her decision, but her earlier excitement had dulled a little. What if she did turn out to be little more than a nuisance in her father’s well-ordered life?
She drew in a deep, bracing breath. She’d deal with that when the time came. Right now she was all about seizing second chances.
* * *
Kiera opened her kitchen door on a dreary, rainy morning expecting to find Bryan on her doorstep, only to find her father standing there, dripping wet.
“Come in,” she said, drawing him inside. “Let me get you a towel to dry off. What on earth are you doing walking in the rain?”
Dillon laughed. “Have you forgotten that a little rain never stops an Irishman? If it did, we’d seldom get any exercise.”
Kiera took his soaked shirt and tossed it into the dryer, then she brought him a towel and an old T-shirt of Bryan’s that she wore when gardening. It had been freshly laundered the day before. Dillon looked at the logo for an organic farm on the front and gave her a questioning look. “Yours?”
“No, Bryan loaned it to me so I wouldn’t ruin my own clothes working in his garden.” She saw the speculative gleam in her father’s eyes and quickly tried to steer the conversation away from Bryan. “Would you like hot tea or coffee? I have both.”
“Coffee, if it’s not too much trouble. Nell would have me floating in tea, if she had her way. She thinks a strong cup of tea can solve the cares of the world. Her coffee, however, lacks a certain punch. I’m afraid I’ve grown accustomed to the espresso at Panini Bistro.”
“I’ll do my best, but I’m not sure mine’s quite that strong,” Kiera told him. As she filled her small espresso pot and set it on the stove to heat, she studied her father. He’d aged well. In fact, it seemed he’d grown stronger since moving to Chesapeake Shores, and his skin had a healthy glow from his daily walks. Still, there was no denying that he was aging. She couldn’t help wondering how much longer she’d have him in her life. And, if she did go back to Ireland, how much of that time would she miss?
When she handed him his cup of coffee and a pitcher of cream, he gave her a worried look. “Are those tears I see in your eyes? What’s wrong?”
“I was just thinking about how much I’ll miss you when I’m back in Dublin.”
He gave her a steady look. “There’s an obvious solution, but you already know that.”
“I can’t just decide to stay. There are regulations.”
“Which can be readily handled, if it’s what you want. Connor knows the law and Mick has contacts just about everywhere, it seems. Both would step up to help.”
“I know, and I appreciate that,” she said.
“But?”
“I never mentioned a but,” she said defensively.
“You didn’t have to. It’s Bryan, isn’t it? You’ve come to care for him. You want him to be the one to ask you to stay.”
She sighed, unable to deny it. “I’m being foolish at my age to think that way.”
“Nonsense,” he said. “From everything I’ve seen, Bryan is a fine man. If he matters to you, that tells me a lot. You’re a cautious woman, Kiera, and after Sean, why wouldn’t you be? It’s made you leery, but it’s also made you a good judge of people.”
“It’s not Bryan’s worthiness that’s in question. It’s whether or not he has feelings for me.” As soon as the words crossed her lips, she covered her face. “Listen to me. I sound like an insecure teenager.”
“When it comes to love, we all feel a bit insecure at the beginning.”
“You didn’t when you followed Nell to Chesapeake Shores.”
“No, but I had our history on my side. I knew the love was still there, even after all the years we’d spent apart. Claiming a second chance was less about taking a risk than about what I might be leaving behind.”
“Your businesses?”
“Heavens, no! It was past time to turn those over to others. It was Moira, who still needed me, and you. People around here talk of the O’Briens as a fine example of family. We know they’ve had their difficulties, but they’re united just the same. I wanted us to be united, too. I feared if I left that might never happen for you and me. We were making strides, but trust needs nurturing, and I wouldn’t be there to do the work. That’s why I was so delighted when you agreed to come here. I’d like us to be a united family for whatever time I have left.”
“You’re making a very strong case for me to stay, regardless of what happens between Bryan and me,” Kiera admitted. “And it’s not as if I haven’t considered it.”
“But knowing there’s a future with Bryan would tip the scales,” he guessed.
She nodded. “He shouldn’t have that power, I know, but I don’t know I could bear to just sit by and have the occasional chat with him when my feelings have grown so strong.” She frowned. “I didn’t want them to, you know.”
Dillon chuckled. “I’m sure of that. But fate sometimes takes things into its own hands. And if something is fated, then it usually happens, even if it’s not on our timetable.”
“Well, I don’t have time to wait around,” she said in frustration.
His full-throated laugh filled the kitchen. “You sound just as you did when you were three and your mother’s cookies didn’t bake fast enough.”
“Impatience is one of my well-known flaws,” she conceded.
“Then perhaps a change of topic is in order. When will you tell me what is going on with my grandsons?”
Startled not only by the topic, but by the fact that it had taken him all these weeks to broach it, Kiera said simply, “It’s not a subject I like talking about.”
“Because?”
“I’m ashamed of them and the decisions they’ve made,” she said, busying herself by pouring more coffee for her father even though his cup was half-full. “I was hoping you’d never have to find out.”
“They’re in trouble?”
“Quite likely in jail, since that’s where I left them. And before you judge me, I bailed them out of jams more times than I can count. They considered it their due, not the slightest motivation to change their ways. I might well have gone on doing it out of guilt, but Peter convinced me I was doing them no favors. He said perhaps a longer stay behind bars would get through to them as nothing else had.”
She’d kept her head turned as she recited all this, but finally dared a look at Dillon. He seemed troubled, but not at all surprised. “You knew, didn’t you?”
“I’d heard a few things. I knew if they were hanging out with Sean Malone, sooner or later there would be a bad ending. Peter told me the rest. Ever since you arrived, I’ve been waiting for you to mention it.”
“I said it before. I was ashamed.”
“Their behavior isn’t your fault, Kiera. They’re grown men.”
“They’re my sons and I was the one who raised them.”
“And then they fell under their father’s influence at a time when they were old enough to know right from wrong.”
“It breaks my heart,” she said softly. “I lost them and I don’t know quite how. I tried so hard to do right by them, by all three of my children.”
“Moira is a testament to your efforts,” Dillon told her. “Boys need a strong male role model, and sadly, they chose their father.”
“If I’d invited you back into their lives sooner, it could have been you.”
“There’s no turning back the clock, Kiera. You did the best you could. Would you like me to go to Ireland and see what I could do to help them? I still have friends who could easily intercede.”
She shook her head. “They’ve been helped too often and given no thanks for it. I won’t allow them to do the same to you.”
“They could come here. There are only petty crimes on their record, brawls and drunk-and-disorderly sorts of things. I think we could overcome that. They could have a fresh start.”
“And likely disrupt the lives of too many people I care about in the process,” she insisted. “No, I won’t have it.”
“Think about it, Kiera. Second chances aren’t just for a few lucky souls. They might turn their lives around. Just consider it.”
She sighed heavily. “I’ll consider it because you asked, but I think it would be a grave mistake.”
“And if you still feel that way in a few days or a few weeks, I’ll abide by your decision. Just remember that family doesn’t just include those who play by all the rules. It embraces the rule-breakers, too.”
He stood up and retrieved his shirt from the dryer, then kissed her forehead. “I’m around if you want to talk about this or anything else.”
She stood and gave him a fierce hug. “You’ll never know how much I appreciate that or how much I truly missed it when we were apart all those years. I still treasure all the walks we took when I was a girl, the talks we had, yet even with all that, I lost my way for a while.”
“And found it back again,” he reminded her. “That’s what matters in the end.”
She followed him to the door and watched as he strode down the driveway, seemingly oblivious to the rain that was more of a soft drizzle now. She smiled at that. To him, it must have felt like home.
* * *
Bryan had been about to leave his house and get Kiera, when there’d been a knock on his front door, the one only strangers or deliverymen used.
He opened it to find a man in his late forties standing there, dressed in pressed jeans and an oxford cloth shirt with the sleeves rolled up to reveal tanned, muscled forearms. Well-worn construction boots hinted at his profession.
“You’re Bryan Laramie,” the man said. There was a surprising certainty in his voice.
Bryan nodded. “And you are?”
“Ashton Lane, Deanna’s stepfather,” he replied without hesitation, then amended, “Well, unofficially, anyway.”
Bryan surveyed him again and, despite his reservations, liked what he saw. There were no pretensions here, and the fact that he’d come to the house showed he was both discreet and confident.
“Come in,” Bryan said. “I don’t have a lot of time before I leave for the restaurant, but can I get you a cup of coffee?”
“To tell you the truth, I had more caffeine than I needed working up the nerve to come here,” Ash confided with unexpected candor. “I’m pretty sure my daughter would have a fit if she knew I was here.”
“But you’re concerned about her,” Bryan guessed. “And curious about me.”
“In my position, anyone would be,” Ashton said.
Bryan nodded. “Then let’s talk. Hopefully I can put your concerns to rest. Let’s sit in the kitchen. It’s cozier in there. At least that’s what Dee says. She thinks the rest of the house is too sterile and the kitchen only marginally better since she added some colorful dish towels on her last visit. She’s eager to redecorate the whole place.”
Ashton laughed at that. “Watch her. She has a mind of her own and a stubborn streak.”
“So I’m discovering.”
“For your sake, be glad her thoughts of decorating have moved beyond the Disney princess phase.”
Bryan laughed. “Amen to that!”
Though his guest had declined coffee, Bryan poured him a glass of ice water and added a wedge of lime, mostly to keep himself busy and his own nerves in check. This promised to be more intense than any job interview he’d ever gone on, the stakes higher. They both used the few moments of silence to size each other up, making little pretense that they were doing anything else.
“Can I ask how you feel about Deanna turning up in your life out of the blue like she did?”
Bryan sat across from him and looked him directly in the eye. “I don’t know how much she’s told you, but I’ve been searching for her and her mother since the day they left. I’ve shown her all the reports, the checks to the investigators, every bit of proof I have that I never gave up on her. Having her show up here was like a miracle.”
“She’s not disrupting your life?”
“To the contrary, I can’t wait to get to know her. How do you feel about that?”
“I’ve loved that girl unconditionally since the day I met her and her mother. If having you in her life makes her happy, I’m all for it. I just don’t want to see her hurt because the novelty wears off for you and you lose interest.”
“Not going to happen,” Bryan said flatly, trying not to be offended. It was, after all, a fair question. “You’ve had her with you nearly her entire life. I had her for a little more than a year when she was a baby. She’s a grown woman now. That’s a lot of catching up to do.”
He studied the man seated across from him and saw only concern on his face. “I hope you won’t try to stand in the way of that. I know how much Dee respects and loves you. I’m sure she’d never do anything to intentionally hurt you, but we both want this chance, I think. We need it.”
Apparently his sincerity got through to Ashton Lane, because he nodded. “She’s going to change schools to be closer to you. You know that, right?”
“She mentioned it.”
“Please don’t make her regret it. That’s all I’m asking.”
Bryan hesitated before replying. “Will it hurt her academically or hurt her future, if she makes this change?”
“No. When it comes to her education, she’ll be fine, but we both know that’s not the only thing behind this decision. She wants to figure out how you fit into her life.”
Bryan understood the other man’s concern and nodded. “We’ll figure that out together. I don’t want her to regret this decision any more than you do.”
Ashton stood then, looking reassured. “I’m glad I came. I think we understand each other.” He hesitated, then added, “We might not want to mention this visit to Dee, though. She’ll kill me for meddling.”
Bryan laughed. “Given that she’s already looking into ways to meddle in my life, I won’t give her a lot of sympathy on that point.”
For an instant Ashton looked startled, but then he chuckled. “Watch yourself. If she’s after something, she usually finds a way to get it.”
“Already noted,” Bryan said. “Thanks for coming. I appreciate that you’re looking after her. More, I appreciate the way you’ve cared for her all these years. She’s a lovely young woman, and that’s all because of you and Melody.”
“Thank you for saying that. You’d have every right to resent me.”
“I can’t say I don’t, just a little, but it’s because of all the years I lost, not because you were the father she needed, when I couldn’t be.”
“I imagine if Dee has her way, we’ll be seeing more of each other,” Ashton said.
“Definitely. She’s already mentioned it. I’ll look forward to it.” And very much to his astonishment, he found that he actually meant it.