Dylan navigated the freeway traffic, all the while holding Sera's hand.

She squeezed back as she spoke. "You and Derek were pretty tense last night."

"He doesn't want me to go after our mother. Wants to let sleeping dogs lie. And I can't do that. I need to know."

She was silent for a long stretch. When she spoke again, her voice was soft. "Are you worried about seeing her again?"

He was terrified. "No. It'll be fine. I'll ask her some questions and be done. No big deal."

"Dylan, I hate to break it to you but it's kind of a big deal. When was the last time you saw her?"

"Almost twenty years ago. I barely remember her." He shrugged. You're lying to her. Hell. He remembered everything about his mother. From her perfume, to the way she'd smile at them when she thought they weren't looking, to the way she always played crazy kooky games with them. She had this wild zest for life. Sera reminded him of her in a lot of ways. But Sera was also more contained. And he knew there was no way Sera would walk away from a family. Just the way she held her brother's words so close to her heart told him that.

Sera is not your mother.

"I thought you said you'd always be honest with me?"

He flattened his lips, regretting the promise not to lie to her anymore. "Okay, fine, I remember everything. But it's pointless. I can't let feelings get in the way. I'm still sorting out the whole I have a sister thing. And the fact that my dad kept it from me and Derek. I can't focus on the hurt or feelings of the eight-year-old kid that's locked inside wanting his mommy, because he's not rational. He's not thinking clearly. And that eight year old doesn't realize that his real mommy lives three blocks over and will give him the happiest sixteen years of his life. That kid wants something he can't have.”

“That must have been really hard on you. And confusing."

"Yeah, I didn't know what was happening. One day, she just didn't come home. Dad freaked out for a day and kept calling the police, but they wouldn't do anything official for two days. But then she called. Told him she was sorry, and that she'd left with her coworker and they were in love. She wouldn't even talk to us to say goodbye."

"Shit, Dylan, I'm so sorry. That is just awful."

He squared his shoulders. The motion welling up inside him was uncomfortable, but with her, he couldn't seem to tamp it down. It hurt almost as bad as when he was eight. "Yeah, well. Dad's world fell apart, so I picked up the reins.”

"I can't even imagine. You were just a kid."

He laughed humorlessly. "I think he went into numb shock for about a month. I had to sort of look after him too. I would pick up hot pockets and salad from the store on the way home from school. So we ate that for dinner, the three of us, most nights. Then Dad's law partner had about enough. He and his wife would pick us up after school depending on who was picking up their daughter Delilah that day. They lived close to us so it was nothing to get Derek and me, too. Dee was great. Man, that girl could talk. She was really intuitive too, so if you didn't want to talk, she'd just talk for you. It was nice to have someone filling the incessant silence."

"She sounds great."

"She is. A total pain in the ass too. She's got this whole fixer thing. So she's always trying to solve problems. She tries to figure out just what you need then makes it happen. If she knew right now, she'd have already handled the situation with my mother somehow." He felt the pang of guilt over keeping the rest of the family out of this, but it was really for him and Derek to sort out.

"I think I like her already."

"Yeah, she makes it hard not to like her. When her dad died about six months after Mom left, it didn't change her. She was sad and missed him, but she really threw herself into taking care of us. She'd do things like bring us lunch at school because she figured Dad might have forgotten. Or bring Derek extra colored pencils because he mentioned he needed them for school because Dad couldn't manage those kinds of basics, you know."

"And that girl was eight?"

He laughed. "Yeah. Imagine her now. Once Delilah decides that you're family, good luck changing her mind."

"But then your dad married her mom?"

"Yeah. It's funny, we didn't even really notice they were seeing each other at first and maybe they didn't realize it either. After her husband died, we went over every night. Dad had started to get his feet under him again and he'd pick up take-out so Sarah wouldn't have to cook."

"And you were cool when they got married. "

"Are you kidding? She was awesome. Is awesome. Loving, nonjudgmental. A really good listener. I was weirded out when I found her and my father kissing, out underneath our tree house one night."

"Oh God, that must have been crazy."

He couldn't help but laugh at the memory. "I think it must have been their first kiss because they both looked so confused. I remember just staring at them. It was Dee's tenth birthday and after the party we'd had at our house, we were all cleaning up, and I went to take the trash out and I heard them talking, you know, in those hushed tones when you're trying not to be heard."

Sera covered her face with her hands. "Man, I'm totally embarrassed for you right now."

"Imagine how I felt. Stuck between the trash and an ick place. I was frozen. Dad kissed her and she shoved him away, and walked away, then came running back to his arms. It got pretty gross pretty quick from there." He blinked hard. “I'm still trying to unsee some of that. No one wants to see their dad grope somebody."

Sera's laugh rang out over the roar of the engine.

"I was convinced he was full on the crazy train. Derek and Delilah didn't believe me at first."

"I'm sure you traumatized them with your tale of voyeurism."

Dylan shuddered. "I did not want to see that. If I could give my left nut to unsee some of that, I would."

"Now who's the drama queen?"

He rolled his eyes. "But apparently Dad and Sarah couldn't keep their hands to themselves, because it wasn't long until Dee had a heart-to-heart with the two of them about what we were going to do about our parents getting together one day as we walked to school."

"She sounds so precocious."

"You have no idea." His sister was a major force to be reckoned with.

"So what, you guys thought you were going to give them a talking-to?"

"No. Delilah had seen them making out in her living room and she decided as girls do that they needed to get married. Then we could all be a family and we'd be her brothers for real. She staged an intervention of sorts."

Again, Sera laughed full and loud. God he loved that sound. "She is fucking awesome."

"Yeah, I'm not sure Mom and Dad thought that at the time. She laid out all her reasons why they should get married. Most importantly being that the three of us kids wanted to be a real family and that since they liked to kiss so much, they should make it official. They were married later that year."

"Let me guess, Delilah helped plan the wedding?"

Dylan grinned. "Oh my God. It's like you were there."

"That's a great story. Your siblings that I've met so far are really awesome. So all of them are adopted?"

"Most of them. Nate is a long story, but Mia, Jackson, Jezzie, Eden, Holden, Zephyr, and Brooklyn are. Max is a late baby. A surprise, though Derek and I tried to have a talk with my dad after Max was born about protection and how he always told us to be careful. Super awkward."

"Wow. I wish things had been that lively in my house. When Malcolm was home, it was, but usually he was at boarding school. Mom sent him to Eton in the UK. Me, I was sent to Sidwell Friends in DC, so I got to be at home. Yay me."

"I'm sure your mother and father liked having you there."

"Dad did. He was the one to spend time with me. You know, braid my hair, make sure my homework was done."

"Wow, he sounds great."

"He was. But with Malcolm gone, he lost a part of himself. He couldn't stay. I saw it. I understood it. My mother is difficult at the best of times. And all of us were grieving. So he left. Moved halfway around the world to South Africa with a contract. If I'm lucky, I see him at holidays and my birthday. But that's it. I didn't even blame him for leaving. I thought if Malcolm hadn't tried to protect me, then he would have lived. My mother seemed to share that sentiment. She couldn't look at me for a full year. Dad was just broken. So I was on my own."

"None of it was your fault, Sera." He kept his voice gentle.

She nodded. "I know that now. But then, not so much." Inhaling deep, she changed the subject. "So tell me the story behind Nate."

* * *

Once they'd signed in to the facility, Dylan wiped his palms on his jeans. He'd followed the white rabbit and now it was too late to turn back.

Sera stroked his arm. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Dylan held on tight to Sera's hand, too terrified to go into the garden to see his mother. But he couldn't make the words come out. He needed her and it scared him. Seeing his mother again terrified him. You can do this. Rip the Band-Aid off. "Uh, no, I'll be okay. You'll be all right here by yourself?"

"I'll come into the garden with you and catch up on my email."

"Okay." He nodded, when she tried to remove her hand from his, he held tighter. "Serafina."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For doing this. I know you had plans for the weekend."

"No big deal. I'll see Ava on the way back. This is important."

She was right. But the moment she walked away from him, he craved that tether to something tangible and something real. He needed it. But you're not going to get it, so get this done.

He would have known his mother anywhere. She looked older, and a bit more haggard, but she looked mostly the same. Her curly dark hair had more gray in it than brown, but she was still beautiful.

The doctor had warned them that she had good days and bad days. The cocktail of medications wasn’t making her feel like herself so not to expect too much from her. But still, seeing her again after all these years, all of a sudden he was eight years old again. But everything else was the same. She still had a lanky, willowy build. And wide, dark eyes. He used to like to say that her eyes were the color of the chocolate chips in his favorite cookies. "Mom?" She looked up expectantly as he took a spot on the bench next to her.

She frowned at first, then blinked, her brows drawn down in confusion.

"It's me, Dylan. I got your letter." Shit. Maybe Derek was right. He blinked rapidly to ward off the sting in his eyes. This wasn't supposed to hurt.

She shook her head. "You shouldn't have come. I didn't want you to come."

He nodded. "I get it. But you couldn't send me a letter and think I wouldn't come looking."

"I didn't, I didn't want you to see me like this."

He forced himself to take a deep breath. There were so many questions. But now that he knew she was ill, so many of them didn't need answering. "Why did you send me that letter?” He swallowed hard. "After all this time?"

Tears welled up in her eyes. "I-I knew I messed up with you and I was struggling with that. I wanted to apologize a little maybe and let you know that I still thought about you."

"But…" He shook his head, trying to shove the emotion away. "I was fine. Without ever getting that letter. I was fine."

"I know. You turned out great. No thanks to me."

"I'm angry with you. You started the churning emotions and I really didn't need that right now. And your daughter, Michelle, she's been looking for you."

She swiped away tears. "Michelle?"

"Yeah, she didn't know where to find you. She's been worried."

The tear that fell on her cheek surprised him and broke his heart. "I didn't know. Too much. It was all too much. So I came here, it's safe here. Quiet, I can finally think. I'm so clear now."

"Would you like to talk to Michelle? Let her know you're okay?"

She shook her head. Her dark eyes meeting his. "Don't want her to see me like this." She reached out a hand to touch his face and the dam broke. The tears welled before he knew what was happening.

"Mom?"

She hushed him gently and wrapped her arms around him. "Don't cry. I'm okay. You're okay."

"You are not okay."

She laughed. "No. I'm not okay. I've never been okay. I was able to pretend for a few years but I was not okay."

"Why didn't you say something? We could have helped you. We could have been there for you, been a family." The tears flowed freely now and he quickly swiped at his face.

"Because you didn't need this in your life. I'd already been struggling and had things under control when I married your father. But kids and life got in the way. I'm sure your father never told you, but I left once, when you were four and Derek was two. I couldn't handle it. I went home to my parents. They got me cleaned up and back on medication and I was able to come home. Your dad. Steady as a rock, he just tried to be understanding. Two small kids can do that to a person, he used to say."

"You didn't tell him."

She shook her head and looked away. “I couldn't. I felt invisible with you guys and school and your dad working a lot. I just wasn't managing my medication well. I was taking risks. I knew I needed to get out of there when I went to the grocery store and left you and Derek in the car for over an hour. I was playing with your lives and I knew I had to get out of there."

"So you left for us? Why didn't you at least call? Derek cried for a solid month."

She used her thumbs to wipe her face. "I knew if I heard your voices, I'd come home. And I knew I wasn't good for you."

"Sure we were kids, but we needed our mother."

"From what I understand, you had one. Do you think your life would have been better without Sarah in it?"

He shook his head. "No. That's not what I meant. I just—"

"I know. I missed you too. A few years after I had Michelle, I wanted to call. Maybe see you guys, but it had been so long. The last thing you needed was me popping back into your lives with news that I had a baby."

"You could have let us make that decision. If we wanted to see you. But it just feels like you didn't try."

"You look so much like your father."

Dylan hung his head. "Yeah, you should see Derek. He looks more like him than I do."'

She looked around. "Did…did he come with you?"

Dylan shook his head. "He wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about me trying to find you."

"I don't blame him. Is he okay? He has a life?"

Dylan nodded and pulled out his phone, showing her a photo from the Go Girl event. "That's him and his fiancée, Kisima."

"She's very pretty."

"Yeah, she is."

She lightly traced her fingers over the image. "You’re right, he does look like your father. It's uncanny." She looked up at him. "And what about you, do you have someone to love?"

He tried to keep from glancing over at Sera, but he couldn't help it. As if their consciousness was linked by a gravitational pull, she lifted her head, smiling once their eyes met.

"It's complicated."

His mother patted his hand. "Love is always complicated."

Dylan dragged his attention back to her, but her eyes had gone glassy and distant. He sat holding her hand for another hour until the end of visiting hours. It didn't matter if she was lucid or not. He'd found her. And he didn’t have a clue how he was supposed to feel about it.

* * *

Hours later, Dylan pulled into the sprawling ranch. "You're sure you're okay with stopping here?" he asked Sera.

"Yeah, of course. It gives me a chance to hang out with Kisima a little bit and say thank you for everything she did at Go Girl. Besides, you and Derek need to talk. And it's time you two worked things out."

He parked in the driveway behind the main estate at one of the guest cottages in the back and he went around her side to open the door. He helped her out then interlaced her fingers with his. The instant sting of electricity pierced his heart. It was going to be a bitch to leave her in a few days. But you have to figure out how to do it.

The door to the guesthouse was open, so they let themselves in. "Hello? Anybody home? We just want to make sure you guys have pants on," he called out.

Sera smacked his arm. "Why wouldn't they have pants on?"

"You obviously don't know my brother and Kisima."

"If he's anything like you, I'm getting an accurate picture."

Dylan rolled his eyes. "We are not that bad. They might be in the gym. Kiss was complaining of a sore shoulder at the event."

Sera shrugged. "Okay, lead the way. I'm dying to see more of this place."

As they approached the gym, Dylan frowned. He couldn't see Derek or Kisima in the main workout area. It wasn't until they went around to the back of the building where they stored all the outdoor equipment that he finally caught a glimpse of them. Or rather, Sera got the full brunt. He only got a partial view, but that was enough. The two of them backed up quickly.

"I won't be able to unsee that." Dylan rubbed his eyes. "That's going to make for an awkward family gathering."

With a hand over her eyes, Sera called out, "Hello? Derek, Kisima?? Are you guys out here?" She made loud stomping noises to alert them that they weren't alone.

There were several muffled curses, scrambling around, some more curses. Derek ran around the side of the building. He'd managed to throw on basketball shorts and a t-shirt but his hair was sticking up in about twenty different directions. "D2, Sera. What are you two doing here?"

"We came to see you." Dylan couldn't look his brother in the eye.

"I wish you'd called, man. At least we would've known you were on your way."

“Sorry, it was a last-minute decision. Can I borrow you for a bit?"

Kisima jogged out from around the gym in a T-shirt and tiny work out shorts. No wonder Derek had gotten distracted. Her eyes were wide and bright. "Hi, guys. Derek didn't mention you were stopping by." She gave Sera a warm hug. Then him. When he hugged his sister-in-law-to-be, his little brother glared at him.

It wasn't until Kisima dragged Sera off to see the track that the two of them had enough privacy to talk. "You drove all the way here from San Diego? Is everything okay?" Derek asked.

"Drove in from Las Vegas, actually."

His brother froze as if his feet had been poured into cement. "Holy fuck, did you two elope?"

Dylan cocked his head and met his brother's gaze. "I want you to think really hard about who I am and then answer your own question."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Sera is good. But she's no miracle worker. You turning up with no call first is probably the most spontaneous thing you've done in your whole life. What were you doing in Vegas?"

"I went to see Mom."

Derek glared at his brother. "We've already hashed this out, Dylan. I don't want to see her."

"Derek, she's sick. Bipolar. It explains a lot. Apparently even before she married Dad she had trouble and had been hospitalized before. The picture she presented to him wasn't the truth. She was sick and she's been sick."

Derek shook his head. "I don't want to have this conversation."

"Yeah well, tough shit. We're having it. You don't want to talk about Michelle, I said okay. But you can't keep burying your head in the sand. Eventually you're going to need to deal with it."

"Oh, like you're the poster child for dealing with shit."

"We all know I'm not. After last year's shooting, I was even more closed-off and bottled-up than before. And then I met Sera."

Derek rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, love can have a strange effect on people."

"But it's more than just that. I'm starting to put the shit to bed. I'm a different man than I was a few weeks ago. What am I doing carrying that shit around with me? It's heavy and unnecessary. I'm not saying you have to call her Mom. I'm not saying you even have to go and see her. All I'm saying is that she’s there. You need to know she's there. I can manage paying for the facility. But I'm not going to let you pretend she doesn't exist."

Dylan watched as this information seeped slowly into Derek. His brother swallowed hard and shifted his gaze to look out at the main house and he blinked rapidly. "I mean, how sick is she?"

"Well, she has bipolar disorder. And sometimes she's not real keen on taking her medication."

His brother ran his hands through his hair. "I-I don't want to think about that shit. She was supposed to be off having fun, not wanting to be a mother."

"Things we told ourselves. She loved us, D. But she wasn't equipped to be the kind of parent we needed. You should read that letter Dad has."

Finally his brother asked, "How was she? She's going to be well taken care of in that place?"

"I wouldn't have left her there if it wasn't safe."

"So now what?" Derek asked quietly.

"Like I said, I'm not going to force you to see her. But I'm going to leave her address and then you can choose for yourself."

Dylan knew his brother well enough to know when Derek needed a few minutes of alone time. "While you figure out some stuff, I'm going to see what the girls are up to. I'm terrified of Sera in the kitchen."

* * *

Sera pulled the little snow globe out of her bag in the back seat. "I'll just run this in. And I'll be right back."

Dylan brushed a hair off her cheek. "Are you sure you don't want to stay? There are two teams on us. I can stay."

"It's been a long couple of days. And I want to crash out in your arms, so if it's all the same, I'd rather just head home and not stick around.

"Okay, I'll be here."

She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss before bouncing out of the car. They'd only been in Vegas overnight and had woken early this morning to drive to L.A.. She was too beat to do much, but she wanted to let her friend know that she was thinking of her and she knew they were long overdue for a download.

Sera jogged up the stairs with a smile, then paused before she knocked on the door. A loud crash from the back of the house made her frown.

She had the alarm code for the back gate and she jogged around the side and opened the latch, but froze. Ava sat on the hammock, naked, bending over backward, doing a half-decent reverse cowgirl. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry." She whirled around while her brain worked through the embarrassed flush. But then all systems came online.

And snippets of what she'd just seen filtered through conscious thought. The caramel skin of the person Ava was riding. The tattooed upper arm attached to the hand holding Ava's waist. And that laugh. She knew that laugh. Aaron.

Sera turned back around, knowing what she would see, but still needing proper visual confirmation. Ava scrambled for purchase on the hammock and Aaron grabbed for his clothes.

"Shit, Sera, wait. It's not what it looks like," he called after her.

She blinked in bewilderment. "Are you kidding me right now? Really?"

"Sera, just listen."

The fury bubbled just under her skin, ready to send her into full-scale murderous meltdown. "You both were naked and she accidentally fell on your dick on the hammock?"

Aaron dragged on his jeans hastily. "Look, you said you didn't want to be with me, what does it fucking matter if I'm fucking your friend? I never would have if you'd said we had a chance."

"Oh, nice," Ava muttered as she tugged on her sundress. "You can seriously be a real bastard sometimes."

Sera tried to sort through the anger and disgust and betrayal, trying to make sense of what she was seeing. She didn't want Aaron. But there was something about seeing him with Ava that set her off. Or rather something about seeing Ava with him.

And then it all clicked. Ava's behavior, Taj not trusting her. Sera's stomach roiled. But she swallowed hard to keep the bile down. "It was you, wasn't it? You're the one he slept with. The one he just had to confess about?"

Ava licked her lips. "I never meant to hurt you. It just happened."

But Aaron wasn't getting left out of the narrative. "Sera, this is not the grand love thing that she'd like it to be. It was a mistake—I kept telling you it was a mistake, Ava."

Her former friend turned on her former lover. "Oh yeah, then is that why you kept making the same mistake in my office, where you knew she might catch you. Shit, even in her house when I housesat."

Oh hell, she needed to burn every piece of furniture she owned proto.

Ava turned to her. "He kept coming back to me, Sera. Things weren't working out with you and we have feelings for each other. The only reason he's flipping out is because now he won't get access to your mother's connections."

Sera waited for the rush of anger, the fury. But it didn't come. She really was over Aaron. What hurt was Ava's betrayal. "How long?"

Aaron swallowed. "I was drunk that first time in college, it didn't count. I didn't know what I was doing."

Sera tuned him out. Every time he opened his mouth a lie came out. "Ava? How long?"

The pretty blonde crossed her arms. "Since that Kappa Nu party our junior year. He won’t admit it now, but he loves me. He didn't love you."

"I see that's the truth. But you. You didn't have to be my friend. You didn't have to be close with me. Why did you do it?"

"You had everything and you were squandering it. You had the money, connections, access, and you wanted none of it. So I took as much of it for myself as I could."

Sera stared down at her snow globe and let it fall to the ground. Aaron approached and wrapped his hand around her upper arm. "We're going inside and we're going to talk. Away from all of this shit. You need to listen."

Sera stared down at his hand on her arm, then up at him, then over to Ava, then back to her arm. Turned out all her self defense trainers had been right. When faced with danger to person or mind, she would fight back. She didn't even consciously think about her fist connecting with his face. It just happened. Pain radiated up her arm, but it was minimal.

Aaron crumbled in a heap at her feet and Ava ran to him.

From behind her, Dylan called out, "Everything okay?" He had his gun out of his holster and his badge clipped onto his belt.

Sera pointed at Aaron. "Ex." Then she pointed at Ava. "Supposed best friend."

Dylan scowled at Ava, but nodded in understanding as he pointed at Aaron's face. "You do that?"

She nodded. "Yep."

He nodded his approval as he grinned. "Well done. Let's get you back home."

Sera didn't look back at the two people she had trusted most in the world at one point. Dylan was her home now.