So much for not repeating patterns.

Why the hell did he have to kiss her? It's like he didn't learn his goddamn lesson. He would never be able to get her taste out of his head now.

He ran his hands through his hair as he watched Eva run up the stairs. He wished he could go after her, but he knew full well he needed to let her go. He had to break the cycle. That shit in New York, he couldn't go through that again. So he was staying away from her. The whole point of coming all the way to Pittsburgh was for a fresh start. What good was a second chance if he just made the same mistakes? Well, what do you know? His life was complicated too.

Not that complicated. His dick twitched as if to register its own personal protest. “Sorry man, it’s not going to happen.” Besides, she said so herself: her life was complicated, which meant none of this was going to happen … ever.

When he returned to the booth Cooper was embroiled in a conversation with a blonde. He gave him a wave and headed home. When his phone rang, he frowned.

For a moment, he considered letting it go to voicemail. But after that shit at Columbia, he promised he'd always take his calls.

“Hey Dad.”

“Zeph, you get all settled in? Meeting people?"

The crackle of tension that had driven a wedge between them a few months ago was ever present. “Yeah, I’m good. The department organized some kind of function for all the fellows. Did that this week and just saw Cooper."

At the mention of Cooper's name, some of the tension in his father’s voice eased. "Good. I'm glad you have someone there."

Zephyr clenched his jaw. The subtext was clear. At least someone is there who can watch you like a hawk.

“Listen Zeph, I may have overreacted about the move.”

Overreacted? That was a goddamned understatement. It was the first time he'd ever felt like his father wasn't in his corner. They hadn't spoken for weeks. In his family, that was unusual as they were so close.

There wasn’t a day that some family group text wasn’t happening. He didn’t normally go more than two weeks without at least checking in with his family. But they don't understand. They think you're running away.

And maybe he was. But he needed to block it out for a bit. Get distance.

“Listen Dad. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I’ve always supported you kids. Always. This should be no different. It’s none of my business at the end of the day what you want to do with your future. I can only hope I taught you to make good decisions. The timing is off. I think you need more space after everything to clear your head. But it's your life."

Here they went again. Zephyr stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. The darkened windows of the houses surrounding him were the only thing that kept him from screaming in frustration. “Dad, of course it’s your business; you’re my father. But you need to trust that I can make my own decisions."

“I know, I just—I don’t know. Seeing you like that … I'm worried about you."

Zephyr sighed. “I get it. I'd be worried about me too. And I know you’re only worried because you care. I know you think I should have a clearer head before I do this. But you have to understand that this is probably the best time. You don’t have to coddle me. I can handle this."

“I just want you to be careful. You have the tendency to dive headfirst into things. Not think them through all the way.”

Fuck. “Yeah, thanks for that Dad.”

“Shit, it’s not what I meant.” And then his father was silent for a moment as if holding his breath.

Zephyr laughed. “Let me guess. Mom is around in the house somewhere?”

“You know how your mother is.”

Zephyr did. Growing up she’d been super strict with them. She didn’t want them cussing or anything like that. No disrespecting anyone; no being, in general, a douche bag, which was a good rule to have for a house full of boys. Well, and girls. He happened to know that Eden could cuss with the worst of them. And somehow, she always managed to maintain an air of innocence about her. He’d have to ask her how she did that one day.

“Yep, I know. She’s okay, right? She’s not missing me so much?”

His father laughed. “What are you talking about? She’d already booked her tickets out to Pittsburgh. She’s coming in a couple of months, by the way.”

Zephyr laughed. Well, of course she is. Even when his birth mother had been alive, he’d never known love like he’d known it with Sarah Donovan. She was like a cool TV mom.

He knew his birth mother had loved him, but he didn’t have enough clear memories of her. He did remember that she used to sing to him all the time. It was an odd time to remember that. “Well, you guys are welcome any time. I just ask for a couple of weeks to get settled and get myself sorted first.”

“Pretty sure Delilah is going to ignore that.” He was silent for a moment then said, “Zeph, you’re good though?”

“I swear. I'm good.” The lie was easy. He'd been saying it so long.

And he had a general upbeat outlook on life. Things always worked out the way they were supposed to.

Did they last time?

But there was a part of him deep inside, the tiny one that he buried in the closet long ago that wanted to come out, scream and say, fuck no. He wanted to say that some nights he could still see the horror play out. But he didn't.

That part of him wanted to scream that they were not all right. That he was running far the fuck away from everything that had gone wrong at Columbia.

But he didn't say any of that.

His father was quiet for a moment. “Well, you know what? I’m proud of you. It takes guts to make a new start. I know that it’s not easy for you. Just … be careful, okay?"

“Thanks Dad. I appreciate it.” Zephyr inhaled deeply as he looked up at his apartment building. He was starting a new life now. His father was right. He did have to focus on what he was here to do. Maybe, just maybe, that meant putting the girl with the soft lips and silky curls out of his head.

If you think you can.