Time spent with Raylan is bittersweet. There’s a ticking bomb nestled between us. The detonator is not far off the beaten path ready to end everything. It didn't take rocket science to predict this. The woman slays me in every way possible. We’ve spent every waking second together since our first date.

I find myself lying awake at night watching her sleep, committing her features to memory. I always figured I’d be the free bird never connecting with anyone or any place. Life has proved me wrong.

Now I’m counting down our lasts. Our final venture off the ship hand in hand then it will soon be the last night together. I’m inches from plunging into despair. The weight on my heart is unbearable as each second ticks by. My little ray of sunshine is the one thing that keeps me from dwelling on the end. The end.

I roll the bracelet around my wrist, waiting in line for our food. Our mission complete with this last local food, we’ve tried new dishes at each stop. Some better than others, but the deal was we’d eat it, so we could say we experienced. The dirty dog with no morals who used to have a closed off heart stands here a lovesick pussy. This is the shit us men live for to jab our buds about. I smirk, thinking how much fun the guys back home will have with this. Shit, they won't believe me.

“Thank you.” I stuff extra cash in the tip jar then grab our two plates of chicken, rice, and beans. My stomach growls at the aroma.

Raylan has her head down studying something when I get back to the table. She turns her head one way then begins shaking it back and forth. Her head pops up when she hears me approaching. Guilt is painted all over her features. She might as well have guilty stamped across her forehead. She’s a shit liar when trying to pull a gag and screws up all the punch lines of jokes.

With a raise of the eyebrow after I set the plates on the table then stroking the scruff on my face, she’s spilling.

“Your phone kept going off. Like non-stop. I turned mine on and set it next to yours, but no service for me then mine died. I wanted to check my Facebook, but then totally on accident one hundred percent swear I clicked on a text…”

“Raylan, stop.” I slide in next to her. “There’s nothing on my phone that you can’t read. It’s fine.”

“I wasn’t snooping. I swear.” She covers her face. “I feel like an ass now.”

I can’t help it. I burst out laughing. “It’s fine.”

Her voice comes out mumbled through her hands. “Your friend Rhett scarred me for life.”

That makes me laugh harder. I pick up my phone, having to know what the jackass did now. He’s worse than a girl texting and calling at all hours of the day. I bet he’s having a severe bout of withdrawals.

Rhett: How’s the pussy?

Rhett: Getting non-grandma pussy on the side?

Rhett: Hope so or your dick’s gonna reek like rotten tuna.

Rhett: Hey, Grandma Fucker, did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket.

Rhett: Wayne told me that this morning.

Rhett: I fired this one back at him. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.

Rhett: Hey, Two Dogs Fucking, when are you getting back? I miss my bud.

Rhett: Hope Fancy Feast doesn’t chew your dick off, Love Glove Wannabe. Get your ass home! We miss you.

I couldn’t help the chuckles escaping me while reading. Rhett is a special kind of special. Nobody will argue with you on that one. The last three words gut me. The one time I’ve convinced myself I’m leaving Preston and traveling, one of my friends finally tells me that.

“You didn’t tell them?” Raylan’s voice cuts in.

I shake my head and drop my phone on the table. “They all think it’s a wild idea, but have never believed me.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” She rubs my back, soothing away some of the aches.

I scrub my eyes with my palms. “I never thought living out my dream would be so hard. Will life ever quit kicking me down? I sacrificed everything, losing myself on the way. Hell, it took my screwed up choices to lead me to you. I’ve had to alter my plans to work with my new budget. And now it all feels like one big mistake. Maybe I never deserved any of it.”

Raylan lays her cheek on my shoulder. I keep my face buried and she remains quiet for a long time. Her is hand rubbing circles on my back as she lets me lean on her for strength.

“What do I do? I’ve never completely fit in anywhere and now that I’m taking a step to do that I feel like a dick.” I flip my head up and look over to her. “I didn’t mean you. It’s different…”

Her lips press into mine, quieting me. She stills there for several beats before pulling back.

“You go, that’s what you do. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t. Memphis, you have to start believing you deserve the best in life or you’ll end up living in your personal state of hell.” Her lips dip back in, brushing against mine for a second. “It’s easier said than done because I’m living it, too. I fight every day back home convincing myself I’m worth it. Society does one hell of a job beating us up. You go, Memphis. Your friends will understand and because you leave it doesn’t mean you can’t go back. You deserve it and have worked hard. Don’t limit yourself.”

“I love you.” I advance on her lips before she can pull back. I twist my body a smidge to run my hands up into her hair, fisting it at the base. I tug her closer, devouring her mouth and relishing the feel of her body against mine. She’s destroying me and building me up at the same time. Everything we’re feeling combines in one passionate kiss, intoxicating us on our happiness, sorrow, passion, and dreams.

My heart swells and my cock strains in my shorts, loving this woman. The worry that is gnawing and tugging at my insides may never go away. How do you ever know if you’re making the right choice until you do it? It’s the same predicament Raylan and I faced that night in my cabin. Raylan’s hand brushes over my cock underneath the table. She repeats the action, stroking me through my shorts. I don’t give two shits that we’re in public or I could blow in my shorts.

I grab her ass, tugging her up on my thigh. I catch her peeking out of the corner of her eye. I lean back, taking her bottom lip between my teeth, and tug on it. My hands fall from her hair down to her hips. I guide them back and forth until she’s riding my thigh. Her eyes snap shut. Her scrap of bikini bottom is making it easy to feel how wet she is.

“Help me,” she pleads, wrapping her arms around my neck and burying her face in my neck. “Help me forget you, Memphis.”

“If you remember.” She’s wet as fuck as I glide my fingers between her folds.

“You make me forget to remember. The only way I will survive you is forgetting to remember.”

“Remember.”

“Forever,” she whispers back.

Her hips are gliding back and forth on their own now. I bite down on my bottom lip, sinking two fingers inside her.

Raylan bites down on the crook of my neck to conceal her moans. Even though we are in public, the placement of the picnic table and rows of trees hide us well. Not as much as I’d like. More than anything I want to lay her out on this picnic table, lick her pussy until she’s screaming for me to stop, and then fuck her hard and rough until my own body gives out.

Her moans are louder, her hips are moving faster, and I know my girl is right there. I work my fingers in and out of her, ignoring my need to cum. I’ve never been so close to losing it fully clothed. Her tears falling on my shoulder are doing a fine job of breaking my heart. I cup the back of her head, pulling Raylan closer into me.

“I’ve got you, Sunshine. Don't be afraid and let go.”

Her final moans when she gives in mix with her heart ripping sobs. I don’t move, letting Raylan have time like she gave me. It makes me wonder if we’re really fucking this up. This much self-torture can’t be right. What if our timing is never right? We may both be different people if we ever see each other again.

I pull back so I can kiss her forehead. “Nothing can take away the memory of us. That’s what we hold onto as we make our way in life.”

She nods into me, taking her time to calm down. Raylan lifts her head using the back of her hands to wipe away her tears. I reach up and pull away the hair stuck to her face. It’s heartbreaking, but she’s adorable with her puffy eyes and red nose.

“Memphis.” Her voice is strong and determined.

I give her a sideways look.

“Are you a candle?”

Her question confuses me. I fidget her around on my leg, pulling my hand out of her.

She rushes the next part out and with each word her smile widens. “Because I want to blow you.”

My shoulders shake with laughter when I realize she hit me with a corny pick-up line. I bring my fingers up to my mouth.

“Finger licking good.” I wink.

Lust glitters in her eyes watching me. Her face lights up then her brows scrunch for a second. “You like to eat Mexican? Because you’re heating up my taco.”

“What in the hell...”

She slaps her hand over my mouth. “I’ll forget them. Sshh. There are no seats left. Can I sit on your face? Are you a rainstorm because I’m soaked. Wanna try stuffing my pussy anyway.”

She stalls. Glancing up to the sky tapping her chin. “No. No. Wait.”

“On pins and needles, Sunshine.”

“Got it.” She throws her hand up in the air. “I know why they are calling it a beaver because I’m dying for some wood.”

I mouth the last part with her. It’s the oldest one in the book. She’s beaming after her performance. I wrap my arms around her, leaning forward, making her lean back and kiss the hell out of her until I’m breathless.

“Where in the hell did you learn those?” I ask, still leaning forward with her dipped backward.

“Can’t say.” She sticks her tongue out at me.

“Raylan,” I warn her. Hell, like it would do any good. It makes her giggle. “I’ll tickle it out of you then.”

She hates her sides tickled, so that’s what I go for.

“Okay, okay. Set me up.” When we’re upright and nose to nose she explains. “A woman let me use her phone while you were ordering since mine doesn’t get service. I did a quick Google search, but you were taking foreveevveerr. You know me and nailing punch lines. I grabbed your phone to type them in the notes. Because my asshole phone died searching for service. That’s when Rhett started texting and I accidentally opened it because I was typing so damn fast so I wouldn’t forget, but then I was sidetracked by Rhett. He’s dirty.”

“No, he’s filthy.” I slap her ass. “And you little shit. You pulled one over on me.”

“I learned from the best.” She winks. “I thought I was so busted saying Facebook. Hell, I don’t have one.”

“That’s it. Three hickies for you.”

“Don’t you dare!” She points a finger at me. “Let’s eat lunch like normal people would.”

I snag both her hands in one of mine then dive in for her neck. Her laughter echoes around the park along with her squeals. I rub my stubble along her neck, letting her off the hook.

“Memphis Jethro Beauregard Love.”

I freeze. I know that voice.

“No freaking way,” I say into Raylan’s neck.

Her spine stiffens.

“Is that you, baby?” the high-pitched voice hollers again.

“It’s not what you think,” I tell Raylan.

She’s already pushing on my shoulders, horror filling her green eyes.

“It is you!” The voice is louder and higher pitched. She always does that when she’s excited. “It’s my Memphis. Oh, my Lawd, I can’t believe it.”

We both turn our heads to see a woman running toward us. Her ginormous boobs, spilling out of her tube, are solid as a rock as she moves. Her hair stiff is as a board ratted all the way up to Jesus. Bling everything is on her fingers, neck, wrists, and flip-flops. I throw my head back and laugh my ass off.

“Who in the hell is that?” Raylan slaps my shoulder. “Is she an old customer?”

I shake my head, still not believing what I’m seeing. “It’s my mom.”

“Baby boy, you get your sweet ass up and come hug your momma.” She rushes up to me with her arms wide open.

Raylan’s the color of a fire engine as she slides off my thigh. It’s the large spot she left behind on my leg that has her mortified. Only if she knew the likes of my mom. She’d give Raylan a slap on the back and an atta girl.

“Easy there, Mom.” She barrels into me before I’m standing up.

I tower over her, but hell with the gusto she rushed into my arms with, she could’ve taken me down.

Smack! She slaps the back of my head. “Don’t you be telling me not to love on my baby boy.”

She smothers me with hugs and kisses. I know better than to stop her. It will lead to a fight, which she’ll win. After she’s peppered kisses all over my face, she’s satisfied. She pulls out her glittery pink lip gloss, reapplying it since the stuff that was on her lips is now coating my face.

“And who is this?”

Bull in a China shop.

Mom has Raylan up on her feet, hugging the hell out of her. “If you were significant enough to be riding my son’s leg, then you need a hug from his momma.”

I throw my hands on my hips, shaking my head, watching the scene play out. Mom has never apologized for who she is and loves everyone she meets.

“Shit the damn bed. I forgot Lawrence. I’ll be right back, kids.”

“Memphis,” Raylan hisses between her teeth.

“I had no idea.” I hold my hands up in the air.

I do my best filling Raylan in before Mom gets back. I tend to sugarcoat Mom when I describe her to friends that don’t know her, but I don’t have to do any of that with Raylan. She’s a little more relaxed by the time Mom makes it back dragging her husband, Lawrence.

They’re quite the pair. If they had celebrity look-alikes, it would be Beth and Dog the Bounty Hunter except Mom’s hair is the same color as mine. Mom makes introductions and explains they’re on the island for a weekend excursion with Lawrence’s business partners. By the time she’s finished rattling off all the details, Raylan has relaxed back into me. We’re both straddling the bench with her sweet ass between my legs. I rest my chin on the top of her head, listening to Mom.

“So, are you on business, Memphy?” Mom winks, trying to be all coy in front of Raylan since she’s not a typical customer of mine.

“I was.” I kiss the top of Raylan’s head. “I came on the cruise with Iris and quit.”

Mom gasps. You’d think I told her I had a terminal illness. I fill her in on the details and by the end, she shocks me.

“I’m proud of you, son.” She points between the two of us. “So y’all are in love because to me it sure looks like it.”

She turns to Lawrence who’s dozing off behind his shades and whops his shoulder. “They were so cute when I spotted them. It looked like Raylan was riding the hell out of my son. I spotted that red hair right off the bat.”

Raylan sprays out the water she was drinking. I laugh my ass off.

“Oh, sweetie, now don’t you be embarrassed. My son is a good looking son of a bitch.” She leans over and kisses Lawrence. “I know exactly how it is when you have a looker and can’t keep your hands off him. I’ve jerked, sucked, and rode this man’s cock in more public places than I can count.”

I’d give anything to see Raylan’s reaction. After getting a hold of my hysterics, I shoot Mom a warning look. She picks up on it, clearing her throat.

“So, tell me how you two met.”

I lean down over Raylan’s shoulder. “You want to tell it or me?”

“You!” Raylan blurts out.

“Are you sure?” I whisper, giving her a fair chance.

She nods. I’ll pay for this later, but it’s too damn good to pass up.

“We met on the ship.” Raylan sits up right away, already on to my little game.

“I was lounging by the pool soaking up some sun when a woman approached me. I pulled down my shades to see what she wanted. And it was this little firecracker right here. I was hooked from the first time she opened her mouth.” I pause, putting the bait out there for dear old Mom.

“Don’t leave us hanging! What did she say?”

“It was the hottest pick-up line I’ve ever heard, but I don’t do it justice. Baby.” I pinch her side. “You do the honors.”

“Yes, Raylan.” Mom claps her hands together. “It will be more authentic.”

If looks could kill, I’d be sitting in the flames of hell right now. Raylan’s pupils flare. Panic creeps up her neck.

“Go on,” Mom urges.

She covers her face but surprises the hell out of me when throws one out there. The joke may be on me this time.

“Is it wet in here? Or is just my vagina?”

“Sweet Jesus,” Mom sings out. “I’m gonna have to steal that one. Lawrence is always making me dripping wet when he’s shirtless.”

“Mom.” I barely get her name out before I start gagging. Gagging turns into dry heaving and my ass is up and over my trashcan struggling not to barf. I can handle a lot of details. Hell, I learned the majority of sexual positions at a young age listening to her talk to friends. But the line is drawn in the sand when it comes to that word and my mom, including all actions that are therefore produced because of that word.

My stomach cramps like a son of a bitch once I gain control. Raylan’s rolling on the damn ground clutching her stomach, laughing her ass off. She bolts upright.

“Oh my God. I’m gonna pee. I’m gonna pee,” she chants while half walking and doing some fucked-up dance.

“I love you, sex kitten.” Lawrence sticks his tongue down Mom’s throat. Like legit, rammed it in there.

“Okay, enough, enough emotional and mental scarring for the day.” I point at the picnic bench. “I’m not sitting back down unless you can behave, Mom.”

She nods. “Fine. Fine.”

It’s not the first time I’ve scolded the crazy bat. God, do I love her, but does she test my patience to all hell. And she wonders why I don’t want to move in with them? No brainer on my end.

“She’s it.” Mom leans in with a wide smile on her face.

“Eh?” My thought process is a bit damaged at this point.

“Raylan, she’s it, Memphy. I see it. You’re in love.”

“I am, Mom.”

“So? Where she’s from? What’s next?”

“She’s from Iowa and I’m going to South America after we dock back in Puerto Rico.”

“What?”

“Mom, it’s already hard enough on me. We live in different worlds and have our own goals we are pursuing. Raylan needs her home she’s worked her ass for and a steady job. That's what makes her feel safe and happy for now. I’m not giving up on traveling, though it won’t be as long or as many places as first planned. It’s looking like three years.”

“If you’re in love.” She leans in like it’s going to get her point across. “Nothing else matters. You go together and discover the future together.”

“Mom, please.”

“Don’t let her go, Memphy, it will be the biggest mistake of your life,” Mom whispers, getting the final word in seconds before Raylan joins us.

It’s my biggest fear, Mom, and I sure in the hell hope it doesn’t turn out to be my greatest regret.