A week ambles by, and it’s all I can do to stave off Axel and that date I promised. But it’s Friday. He’s scheduled me off for the night and booked a table at Enigma—only the finest dining experience in the tri-city area. So, of course, I couldn’t say no. I’ve already selected my navy dress and matching heels with the straps that lace up past my ankles. It will be cold in the dining hall, so I’ll bring my leather jacket, the one with the spikes running up and down my chest which will also provide a decent barrier if he decides that treating me to a meal entitles him to get frisky. And seeing that he’s a man, it will.

I’m just about to get ready for my culinary rendezvous with a vegetable ratatouille crepe brimming with goat cheese, but before I do so, I feed Strudel two heaping scoops of his favorite lamb kibble. On nights that I eat well, I make sure Strudel does, too. Sure, the world might say Axel is my date, but he’s more of a transportation system, a conduit between me and one of my favorite meals. He’s nothing more than the middleman in this scenario. It’s not a real date. I would never date Axel Collins. I swore I would never go out with him again, and I’m not breaking a single vow I might have made to myself way back when. This is just sort of a—I step into the living room and groan—mess.

Just the sight of my poor disheveled home makes me grunt with discontent. That horrid bridal shower I inadvertently threw Low a few weeks back may have ended, but I still have one party guest who refuses to find the door. After Raven confessed that her things were in her car and that she was essentially homeless, she’s been holed up here ever since. Suddenly homeless? Living out of her crappy car? She has so much in common with Low it’s scary. I can see why they’ve christened one another “besties”. God, I hate that word. It’s perky and annoying and it belongs solely within the confines of a sorority. Nevertheless, Raven has magically transformed my neat as a pin home into a hoarder’s playground.

It turns out Raven isn’t so much a neat freak after all. She’s a master manipulator is what she is. She’s an Oscar to my Felix. In a single week, she transformed my Zen little paradise painted in calming hues of blues and greens and deconstructed it into an ode to a frat house complete with odd splatters of color dotting the floor as her clothes slowly migrate toward the laundry room.

She’s curled up in a ball on the couch, clad in gray sweats, glasses that keep sliding down her nose, an ice cream bar pinned between her lips and a slice of pizza in her other hand. She’s so engrossed in that silly rom-com she keeps playing on a loop she doesn’t even know I’m in the same airspace.

A tower of pizza boxes stacked near the sofa catches my eye. “You’re insane,” I belt out the words in disbelief.

“I’m insane? I don’t have an entire army of people protesting my actions. I’m not the one with protesters on my lawn.”

I glare at both her and the leaning tower of pizza boxes. “Please tell me this is some sort of performance piece you’re pulling. Or that the pizza recycling bin waiting to happen is installation art because God and I both know you mentioned your specialty was making my tiny home look unlived in.”

Raven doesn’t take her eyes off the screen. “It was. It is. I mean the art, and the unlived in part.” She says so many nonsensical words at once, and the urge to smack her over the head with one of those pizza boxes comes on strong. She shrugs it off with her crooked ponytail lopping to the side, her slacked sweats pulled high on her waist as she wilts on the couch, craning her neck past me to see the television screen.

“But I can’t seem to get another job. I can’t even get an interview,” she whines. “Something tells me if I ran naked through the Arctic tundra I couldn’t catch a cold.”

“Oh, boo-hoo. Cry me an icy river. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get a paycheck already. Flap your wings down to The Pelican with me. I’m sure Axel will have you bussing tables before dinner rush.” I cringe at the thought of yet another waitress eating my lunch or dinner as it were. It’s bad enough that nutcase yippy-yappy puppy that I’m sure belongs in a sorority house somewhere Abby Wilcox keeps weaseling her way into my piggy bank. Twice last week she snaked two of my tables. Just snatched them from under me, claiming she didn’t realize I had that section. It’s odd how she gets her sectional wires crossed when there’s a party of ten or more—leaving me with her lousy date night couples with the sleazy male quasi-flirting with me while he’s too cheap to spring for two entire meals. Split an appetizer for dinner, my ass. I hope the losers never get laid again.

“I can’t work at The Pelican.” Raven takes a healthy bite of her waxy looking pizza. Bleh. You couldn’t pay me to wipe my bottom with it, let alone push it past my lips. “My brother owns the place. It’d be weird.”

“What you call weird others refer to as employment. The tips alone will keep you in cardboard pizza for a month.” My heart wrenches at the thought of losing my new moneymaking gig. I certainly don’t plan on working there forever. My ex owns the place. It is weird. Let’s get real. The only other way I can get this kind of money is if I steal it, and I’m too harebrained and terrified not to get caught.

“My pizza funds are secure. An old frat boy I used to date gives me his employee discount. Believe you me, I’ve earned it.”

“I’m afraid to ask how, so I won’t. Something tells me getting on all fours was involved.” I snap up a trail of rainbow colored tank tops and dump them onto her lap. “And feel free to tidy up any time you want. Be sure to have this place looking as if you never set foot in it by the time I get home tonight from my date.”

“Date?” She balks at the idea through a mouthful of cheese wax. “Who the hell would want to date you? The only one off his rocker enough to even contemplate such a ball-busting move is—” She looks up at me and gasps so loud I’m half-hoping she’s inhaled the bolus churning in her mouth. Surely a lungful of crappy Italian food should qualify her for more hygienic quarters—say, the hospital?

“Are you kidding?” Her limbs scatter as if they were trying to find the quickest exit off her body.

A knock erupts at the door before I can electrocute her with another word.

I head over and open it to find Low with her hair in a bouncy ponytail, a buoyant smile on her lips. “Long time no see, bestie!” She rings her arms around me in a strangulating hug. “Oh my God, I missed you like crazy!”

“Relax.” I pluck her off me as she saunters on in and I entomb us inside lest the protesters meander up the walk as they’re prone to do. My God, don’t they have a home? Jobs? Children? Parole officers to check in with? “I’m just a girl you barely know, not a child you lost at the mall.”

Low honks out a laugh before getting settled on the sofa next to Raven. “I know you all too well.”

“Get this.” Raven gives Low a violent shove that nearly sends her flying off the couch. Nice. Break her arm before her wedding. Now that’s a bestie for you. “She’s going out with Axel tonight.”

Low looks up at me as if I just plunged a knife into her belly, and believe me, I’m tempted.

“With the Ax? As in Axel Collins, the ex who we were given strict instructions not to speak of? Axel Collins who not only had me arrested but was the ironic reason for that arrest Axel Collins? Are you off your meds again?”

“As if I needed a single chemical to hold down the fort.” I smirk at the two of them all huddled together, ready for a night in with their plethora of soft porn. “Yes, Axel Collins. The jack-in-the-box that broke my heart.” I check my face in the mirror above the couch and note I’ll need a touch more blusher. I abhor looking pale in decent lighting, and Enigma not only has the best food, they have impeccable lighting capable of erasing decades off even the prunish of faces.

“Jack-in-the-box?” Raven looks to Low for explanation.

“Read jackass.” She wrinkles her nose. “Lex hates expletives more than she hates poor Ax the ex.”

“Not true,” I offer quickly. “It’s about an even split.”

Low flicks off her sneakers and tucks her feet under her bottom. “So where’s the big miracle taking place? Hallowed Grounds? Something quick and caffeinated?”

Raven scoffs. “The Witch’s Cauldron? Something hot and immersive that a soul or two can drown in?”

I chew on that for a moment. “As tempting as a scalding death sounds, I’m not up for suffocating him just yet. He’ll be treating me to a meal at Enigma.”

“Oh?” Low muses as she swings her ponytail from side to side. “Then are you heading up to his place for a little nightcap? Maybe some whiskey with a twist of sin?”

I pause a moment on my way back to my bedroom. “That’s right.” I gasp. “Enigma is in the Jepson Towers. He did mention his penthouse is in the same building. I guess I didn’t put two and two together.” My entire body fills with heat at the idea. “But trust me, that boy knows better than to think he can just whisk me off to his place and land me flat on my back. There’s no way he’s hitting a home run with me ever again. And the rest of the bases don’t stand a chance either. Nope. This is strictly about the food—and by acquiescing to the date, he’s kindly offered to stop calling me Lexy.” I take a moment to glare at Raven. “Don’t even try to say it.”

“Oh, I won’t.” She spikes her ice cream stick into her next pizza slice as if it were a fork. “Low filled me in on all the levels of crazy it brings out in you. As delightful as it would be to witness from afar, there’s no way in hell I’d pop the cork on that bottle.”

I glare at her for a moment until she sinks lower on the sofa.

“I meant H-E-double hockey sticks, Mom.”

“That’s better. Now clean this house before I get back or I’ll beat you with a wooden spoon until you’re black and blue.”

The two of them titter out a laugh at my not-so vague threat while I primp and pamper myself into polished perfection.

I strut back out and do a little twirl, thus breaking their TV trance.

“Oh my God!” Low exclaims with marked excitement. “You are so getting laid tonight!”

“No, I’m not.” I swing my hips from side to side. “Well, maybe. I have been flirting with Pink Thomas ever since you left him behind. I’d seal the deal, but Strudel’s already claimed him for himself.” It’s true. That dildo that was left behind on the night of the bridal shower wars is now fast friends with my little horny pooch. Although in Strudel’s defense, he thinks it’s just an incredible vibrating chew toy. I’ll admit I’m a bit envious. Especially on those nights where I miss a man—ironic since the only man I’ve ever been with is the one I’m going out with tonight.

Raven bumps her knee to Low’s. “Ten bucks says they hook up and she doesn’t make it home tonight. You don’t put on a dress like that for an ex you claim to despise more than foot fungus.”

It’s true—the foot fungus thing. “I stand by my claim. The reason I’ve donned such a hip-hugging frock is to look admirable while walking into Enigma. Everyone knows the who’s who of anywhere can be found dining in that very place. And who knows? Maybe there’s a suitor lurking in there for me yet.” I lean in to glare at Raven, and that smug little smile of satisfaction on her face regarding the state of my vagina. “And if I don’t happen to come home tonight, it will be because I met up with a serial killer. I’m much more emotionally prepared to deal with that than I am spending the night with Axel Collins.” I stalk out the door, and both Low and Raven trail me to the porch.

“Do everything I would do!” Low sings.

“You’re such a whore,” I grumble as I crawl into my car.

“Something tells me you’d be a better one!” she sings and my chest rumbles with a laugh because I’m positive she’s right. As much as I want to shove Low out of my life, something in me demands to keep her. There’s just something about her that’s always reminded me of Serena. I’d walk to the moon and back for my sister. And, evidently, I’d let someone in my life just because she reminds me all too much of my little sis, too.

Raven mimes for me to roll down my passenger’s window, and I reluctantly do.

She dashes over with that dark curtain of hair collapsing over one side of her face, leaving a bright blue eye staring back at me.

“In case you decide not to come back tonight, just know that statistically speaking, men are not only far more aroused by women who make the first sexual move, they tend to keep her in the power position for the remainder of the relationship.”

“What are you saying?” I’m not sure if I should be offended or simply run her over and put her out of her own misery. It must be tiring to be trapped in that head of hers.

“I’m saying if you want to maintain the power position, strike first blood. Land that boy on his back and make him your bitch.”

My mouth falls open just as I speed out of my quaint little neighborhood, and the protesters scatter as I almost nail a small clump of them. As if. I wish. Maybe someday if I’m lucky.

Power position indeed.

An image of Axel lying beneath me, those hungry eyes of his staring up at mine, his fingers digging into my hips as he pounds me over his body flashes through my mind, and every last inch of me ignites like a candle.

This is not a date.

I will not venture to his perverted penthouse where he’s undoubtedly bedded a bevy of bobble-headed beauties.

I am going straight home after dinner.

I think.

At least I darn well better.

* * *

By the time I give my car to the valet and head into Enigma, I spot Axel seated on the balcony alone, the way it most likely should be. But I’m here and the wheels to this hell train have already left the station. The truth is, I’m not only here to nix that nasty nickname he insists on calling me once and for all—although he knows better and is without excuse—but I also want to glean a little more on what happened to poor Emilia. As soon as he uttered that horrible truth, I ran home and looked up what I could on the Internet, only to find that it was a sad fact. There were no details, no hint of a prolonged illness, which could only mean one thing—she was snatched by death when she least expected it. The thought of poor, sweet Emilia disappearing from the earth forever was too much to bear, and I broke my rule and cried a river for her. She was my one true friend on the planet, at least for the year we knew one another. Low pops to mind, and, of course, her slovenly appendage Raven. I suppose they’re friends of sorts. Low for sure at least. Raven is more or less that annoying bonus sampler you never really wanted that smells like old socks. My God, does the girl ever bathe?

My phone bleats in my purse, and it’s a group text to both Marlin and me from Serena. A picture of her next to that bear mascot they keep in front of the Black Bear pushes an inadvertent smile to my face.

I text back. Keep out! There are frat boys running loose in there without morals or brain cells.

I shoot off a private text to Marlin. I’m calling in a report to the Jepson PD— check out the Black Bear. I’m pretty sure a beautiful redhead is about to be accosted. Hightail it up there, would you?

He texts right back. On my way, sis. But only if you carve out time for coffee with me soon.

I think on it for a moment. I think I just found the perfect way to ensure I don’t accidentally on purpose test out Axel’s mattress springs.

Sure thing! Bright and early. How’s eight in the morning? I’ll meet you at Hallowed Grounds. Don’t be late!

He pings right back. I’ll bring the donuts. ;)

There. Nothing ensures a little chastity like your gun-wielding brother. There’s no way I’ll end up in that penthouse tonight. In fact, if I want to be able to pry my eyes open at that early hour, I’ll have to cut tonight’s date short and get myself to bed. I love it when I outsmart Axel Collins’ favorite appendage—the one swinging from between his legs.

I put in my name, and the waitress leads me to the back. Axel offered to pick me up, but I know better than to trap myself with my ex and nary an escape route.

He rises and turns as if he senses my presence, and his thick cologne hits me as soon as our eyes meet. Axel Collins isn’t playing fair tonight. He’s donned a dark inky suit, smooth silver metallic tie so buttery soft looking I’m craving to both touch and lick it. That thick black hair of his is neatly slicked back, his five o’clock shadow leaves him with that demented stubbled look that I find so irresistible, and a tiny moan crawls up my throat at the sight of him.

“My God, you’re beautiful.” He takes a step back and lets his eyes take the elevator ride up and down my person. “Lexy.” He closes his eyes a moment as if he were caught up in ecstasy and he might be, but that doesn’t change the fact he’s just lit me like the grand finale at a Fourth of July display.

“It’s Lex, and if you cross that line one more time, I will not only leave this restaurant, I will leave the state, and you will never see the whites of my eyes for the rest of your days.”

“My apologies.” He gives a slight bow as he holds out my seat and I take it. “Lex, you look stunning tonight.” He seats himself across from me just as the waitress brings us ice water and a bottle of chardonnay. “If you don’t mind, I took the liberty.”

“You know me well,” I muse as I flick my finger toward the waitress to get the pour going. I’m in need of some vino. I wouldn’t dare drink and drive, but, at the moment, my need for something stronger than water usurps my need to get home in my own vehicle. I’ll Uber if I have to.

The waitress does as she’s instructed, and I knock back the glass in three big gulps. “Another, please.” I pick up the menu and peruse the offerings before landing it back onto the table. I look up at the pert nosed blonde. “I’m ready to order. I’ll have the house salad. Hold back the toy box tomatoes. Ratatouille vegetable crepes. And a side of grilled asparagus. If there’s a possibility of adding caviar to any of the above dishes, please do so copiously.” I give a sly wink. “The check’s on him tonight.”

She chortles into her fingers before taking Axel’s order as well. Something far more simpler: prime rib, dill potatoes. I’ve often said you can glean a lot about a person just by what they order in a restaurant. Axel’s carnivorous pickings and carbs delight suggest he’s gearing up for some calisthenics later on this evening, and he might be. It’s just they won’t involve me.

“That’s quite a lot of protein you’ve opted for.” I meet up with his eyes and can’t help but note the way they glow in the night. Axel’s eyes were the first thing I noticed about him all those years ago.

“I plan on doing some weightlifting later this evening.” He sheds a guilty grin. “You’re about one twenty-five?”

“Very funny.” My fingers pluck at my knife before hiking it up on its tip in a maneuver that says I know my way around cutlery and I’m not afraid to use it.

Axel sobers up as he stares pensively at the blade I’m twisting between my fingers. “Do you remember who we were, Lex?”

“Yes. Broken and lonely and we departed the same way we met.”

“Not true. The in-between, the happy times.” He drags those sad puppy dog eyes over to mine, and something in my chest pinches. “The middle where we said I love you as easy as spilling water. When we kissed at least ten times between hello and goodbye. You slept in my apartment more than you did your dorm.”

“That’s because your sheets had a higher thread count.” My cheek hikes up one side as if trying its best to betray me with a smile.

“They were always softer with you in them.” His brows dip down as if this were a sad truth. “And come to think of it, I haven’t had a good night’s sleep without you there next to me.”

“Must have made it tough to pass the bar.”

“It was.” He leans in, and I inadvertently do the same.

There has always been a gravitational pull between the two of us, and now knowing what I do, it simply means I should have run the other way even faster.

He reaches over and lands his warm strong hand over mine, heavy and weighted, and I freeze. I hadn’t anticipated touching. For sure I hadn’t anticipated him looking like a hot stud on fire. As much as I loathe it, this boy is right back to drenching my panties, and we haven’t even crested appetizers.

“Why are you touching me?” I hiss so low the words are hardly audible.

“Why are you whispering?”

“Because that’s what I do just before I reach under the table and come up with a pair of male testicles.”

He flinches, but his hand remains solid over mine. “I believe you threatened my family jewels on the night we met, too.”

“If we’ve stepped into some kind of a pattern, then it only proves we’re on a path to destruction. Only this time, there’s no heart inside of me for you to break.” I offer my version of a perky smile. “I’m rather proud of that fact in the event you haven’t noticed.”

His dimples dip in and out, and my stomach bisects with heat at the sight of them.

No, no, no! Down, girl. This boy is old news. Yesterday’s trash. Moldy oldie leftovers that will not only give you food poisoning, but take you to the grave.

Emilia pops into my head with that last horrific thought, and I can feel the conversation bubbling up my throat without my permission.

“What’s going through your mind?” He rubs his thumb along the inside of my wrist, and that sweet spot between my legs jumps and quivers. My God, it’s been so very long since I had any action. If all it takes to bring me to the brink is a little arm rub, then I’m in more trouble than I thought. Maybe I should leave now and Uber my way to a sex shop and scoop up an entire armful of dildos? God knows there’s a fire burning down in that secret part of me that can only be extinguished in one way, and I sure never thought it was associated with my wrist. That’s a testament to Axel’s sexual prowess on some level, but I’ll never give him the satisfaction.

“Your sexual prowess.” Holy mother! Did those words just burp from my lips? I knock the wrist fondler off my arm and help myself to another glass of wine. It tastes so necessary going down I’m half-convinced I need to ditch the glass and syphon straight from the bottle.

A dark laugh rumbles from him, and that dress shirt of his creases with the tautness of his chest. “Now that’s something I can work with. Are you judging based on past experiences, or are you looking for updated information?”

My mouth opens, and this time I’m set on bringing up poor Emilia. Nothing will kill his joyous attitude or that budding boner in his pants than a topic immersed in grief, but each time I try to say something, ask anything about her, I can’t shove the words past that boulder in my throat. I take another sip of my wine and push her to the back of my mind for now.

“Updated information?” I try to sound coy as if I were flirting. There’s nothing more devastating than to have your hopes lifted just before they’re slashed to the ground with the machete of your ex-girlfriend’s tongue. “You mean you’ve been honing the craft? I hear you’ve amassed quite the harem. Are you partaking in the syphilis trials at the university? Or are you taking on the communicable diseases on your own? You always did have an adventurous spirit. Tell me, does the rash hurt much? Or does the industrial strength ointment the doctor prescribes make it bearable?”

“You are a riot.” He leans in and takes up my hand once again, this time threading his fingers through mine. “I’m not the man whore you make me out to be. I won’t lie. There have been girls, Lex, but none of them could cure the pain, fill the void you left in your wake. My body, my bed, my heart—they’re still waiting for you to claim them.”

“Yes, well, I don’t want or need them. Tend to them as you wish.”

He frowns at the thought, but his thumb rubs a circle over my palm, and that sweet spot between my legs quivers uncontrollably. My God, did I just? Am I?

I pull my hand back from him as if yanking it from an orgasmic fire.

Ax folds his hands together over the table as if accepting his fate while relaxing in his seat. “How about you, Lex? You said there was no one else after me. Why not?” he says it stern as if he were suddenly my father, disappointed in my lack of sexual activity. “You’re beautiful, and young, and way too energetic in bed to be alone. What happened?”

“I happened.” I turn a shoulder up to him just as the waitress brings our dinner.

“You mind?” Ax nods to his plate, and I shake my head. It was a long-standing ritual of ours that Ax would say grace quickly over our meals. It was something that wildly attracted me to him in the beginning. Any man brave enough to pray over his food in public had to be strong and confident in all areas of his life, and I was right. Axel was a force to be reckoned with. That is, until the day of our own personal reckoning. I shake all thoughts of that terrible time out of my head.

He says grace, and we get to our meals. Axel carries the conversation, asking about Serena, about Marlin, my psychotic brother who might have played a part in our final demise. Our fragile relationship always felt as if it were on the brink of its demise, but by the time Marlin interfered, we were way past the finish line. My chest aches just thinking about it. I cried for a month straight. Lost ten solid pounds. Hated the sight of food, all because of a stupid boy. This boy—who happened to have morphed into a fine-looking man, and in truth, it scares me. Everything about Axel Collins scares me tonight. Especially how easy it feels to carry on a conversation with him.

We talk for an hour straight about the Epicurean Elite as he offers up tips to get the website going.

“That’s some amazing advice. Thank you. I plan on implementing it as soon as I can get the darn thing off the ground. The next step is opening it up to an investor. I’ll need all the capital I can get. No offense to The Pelican, but it will take fifty years to earn half of what I need. And that says a lot about the price tag of my new endeavor, considering the decent tips I make.”

“I’ll back it.”

“If you backed it, I’d back out. This is a Collins-free fun zone. And speaking of which”—the waitress hauls away our empty plates, and I’m still warm with the memory of inhaling my favorite meal—“this whole date thing is a one-off.” A stray smile bounces on my lips.

“If you say so.” Axel glowers at me a moment with those diamond eyes, that stubbled face that I’m half-tempted to slap just so I could feel it. He pours me the last of the wine, and I gladly take the glass to my lips.

He sheds a smile as I drink as if he has the upper hand, and those cryptic hypersexual words of Raven’s come back to me—if you want to maintain the power position, strike first blood. Land that boy on his back and make him your bitch.

“So where to?” He drops a few hundred-dollar bills over the center of the table—so smug, so very overly confident that he’s driving this train.

“To your place, of course.” His eyes widen with disbelief as I bleed a black smile. I’m about to land Axel Collins on his back and make him my female genital licking dog for the night. “It’s time for dessert.”

* * *

Axel takes up my hand and whisks me to the exit as if swiftly guiding us out of a burning building.

The Jepson Towers is an alarmingly posh architectural wonder, nothing gaudy, simple marble floors and counters, the elevators sheathed in mirrors, and for the first time I see us there, standing hand in hand, looking every bit like a couple, and there’s a familiarity about it that startles me.

Axel doesn’t dare say a word. He’s frozen stiff as a statue right up until we board the elevator. It zooms us to the top so fast it’s as if all of his anxiety about me changing my mind had boosted its efforts. We step out into the quiet hush of the carpeted hall. A giant set of ficus plants tower next to a set of heavily carved doors, dark mahogany with a Spanish flare. Axel lets us in and secures the door shut behind us, bolting it twice in hopes to at least slow me down once I decide to hit the exit.

“It’s stunning,” I say, my breath bated at the sight. Axel’s penthouse is cavernous, dark wood floors, high ceilings, impeccably furnished with a plush gray sectional large enough to easily accommodate fifty people. A large screen television floats against the wall, but my eyes dart to the kitchen. It’s an open floor plan, so the holy trinity—kitchen, dining room, and living room—are all more or less conjoined. I don’t waste a moment before traipsing over and examining the high-end appliances, the impeccable marble countertop that looks new as the day they laid it. That double oven has me drooling, and is that a steamer? It’s safe to say Axel is outgunned in his very own home. From what I remember, his specialty was burning waffles in the toaster oven.

“Do you approve?” He gives my hand a squeeze, and it’s only then I note he’s still holding it.

“I more than approve. I take it you don’t spend much time in here, though. It’s a waste if you ask me.” I scowl over at the appliances as if they’ve just personally offended me.

Axel leans in with the side of his face pressed to my neck as he makes his way to my ear. “They’ve been waiting for you.”

The scent of his cologne sets my senses on fire, and my eyes close initially as I tilt my head back. The world spins in a blissful way I haven’t felt in oh so long, and for a brief moment I never want to open my eyes again. I never want this feeling to end. His arms find their way around my waist as he spins me into him, his stubbled cheek lies flush to mine and feels surprisingly soft, his breath warms my lips as his mouth inches ever so close.

My heart drums within me at unsafe speeds, my blood pressure skyrockets as fight-or-flight kicks in. Axel presses me close to him by the small of my back, my body adhering to his rock-hard chest, and I can make out each chiseled detail with my flesh. My thighs begin to shake and quiver, my breathing quickens, and suddenly everything about this scenario has me lightheaded.

“Lex,” Axel groans as his lips brush over mine, and my entire body jolts from their touch.

My hands slap over his chest, and I push him away in one swift move. “Cheese and rice, what have I done?” I jump back, suddenly aware of my surroundings as if I had somehow teleported here instead of striding right in on my own volition.

“Wait, Lex.” Axel reaches for my hand, but I pull away in fear I won’t be able to resist his charms if he gets ahold of me one more time.

“Don’t you wait Lex me! Wine plus Raven equals stupid, stupid decisions! I played right into both your grubby little hands.” I spin on my heels, slapping my palm over my forehead. “How could I have fallen so far so fast?”

Axel pops up and wraps his arms back around my body as if they belonged there—as if I wasn’t about to pluck them off at the shoulder.

“Keep your hands where they are and I’ll make sure you spend the rest of your days brushing your teeth with your feet.”

Those blessed by God features openly frown at me, those dimples depress, and something about those watery gray eyes pinches my stomach. There are only a handful of people who have that effect on me. There are only a few people in general whom I’ve ever wanted anything to do with, and once upon a time Axel Collins was one of them.

He holds his arms up in surrender but doesn’t bother to widen the gap between us. “I like my hands right where God put them. How about a drink?”

“A drink?” I lean in until we’re just about nose-to-nose. “I bet you’d just love that, wouldn’t you?” I poke my finger hard in his chest. “Me—staggering drunk, begging you to have me, doing a strip tease on your coffee table, dropping to my knees and biting you in all the right places!” He winces when I say it. “Ha!” I laugh right over his lips, and he sheds an annoying smile that shakes me to my core with rage. “How dare you laugh at me. How dare you think you have the upper hand in this relationship.”

“Is that what we have? A relationship?” His forefinger caresses my cheek, and a chill runs down my spine, tingling all the way to my toes. My God, just one night. What could it hurt? Wait—what am I saying? Why am I suddenly so confused? I’m Lex the Ice Queen Maxfield. Things happen when and where I dictate them. This won’t happen to me. This will happen for me.

“I know you, Lex,” he rumbles so deep the words resonate like thunder deep down in my bones. “You want us back just as much as I do.”

“The hell I do.”

His eyes widen with the expletive.

“The only thing I want is this.” I press my lips to his, my entire body wrapping around him like a vine. Those cushion soft lips of his open and I fall right in, our tongues touching for the first time in so long my entire body swims with relief. I want this. I need this. And I hate Axel Collins for making me feel both of those things.

His tongue does a hungry revolution around my mouth, and we both expel a hearty groan at the very same time. A dull chuckle rattles both of our chests, but we don’t break our stride, our mouths still very much fused as this kiss permeates every last part of my being. It’s as if I had been holding my breath for all these years, and this, the first perfect breath I’ve craved for so long, is healing something deep inside of me.

But he’s not. The only thing this mouth to mouth will produce is more confusion, and if there’s anything I hate more than Axel Collins it’s confusion.

“Stop.” I pull back and crash my open palm over that sexy stubbled cheek, and the action alone makes me smile.

“Geez!” His fingers dance over ground zero as he gives a stunned, wild-eyed look.

“I’m not doing this with you!” I slap my hands over his chest and send him flying back a good three feet. “We are over, Collins! Get that through your bright-eyed, bushy-tailed brain! All of your nefarious intentions for the evening have come to naught.” I pounce over and smack my hands over his chest once again. “Take that!” I pound my fists over that granite he’s housing under his shirt even though I realize the effort is futile. Axel is built like a brick wall. “You may not stomp all over me one more time. I’m not some silly little plaything that falls in and out of your bed whenever the heck you feel like it.” I slam my fist into his stomach in a ridiculous attempt to hurt him, and his body doesn’t flinch. I look up to meet with his eyes, a raging fire exuding from my own.

“Feel better?” He’s somewhere between stern and bored, and it’s all I can do not to scream in his face. Oh, what the hell.

“Aarrrghhhh!”

He gives a hard blink before his lips curve at the tips as if they lived to undermine my emotions. “Are you done?”

“Yes.” My chest pulsates in and out, and I’m hardly able to contain my breathing. Not in any of my fantasies combined did I ever release that much fury in one quick burst.

“Good.” He steps in and leashes his hand behind my neck, pulling me toward him as his mouth latches over mine once again, and a scream rises and falls in my throat. But this time, instead of throttling him into tomorrow, I tear off his sports coat and give his tie a hard tug, quick and stiff enough to lynch him. But Axel is equally as unrelenting. He secures me to him with a death grip. His hands ride down to my bare thighs as he rakes his fingers up toward my thighs, bringing my dress up past my hips. I grip him by the hair at his temples and pull him back with a violent aggression.

“I hate you, Axel Collins.” I bear hard into those lucent colored eyes. “I hate everything about you.” My mouth crashes back over his with a vengeance, my tongue searing over his, ravenous to have him this way.

Axel lifts me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist as he sails us through the penthouse. That oh so happy to see me protrusion in his boxers rubs hard over my sweet spot as we move through time and space to what I can only guess would be his bedroom, but Axel stops in the hall and pulls a condom out of his wallet before tossing the boxy piece of leather over his shoulder.

“I need you, Lex.” He lunges at me with a wet, hostile kiss that exhilarates me from my hair to the tips of my toes. He runs his heated lips over my cheek, his heavy breathing loud in my ear. “I’ve always needed you.” He pulls back, his violent breathing just as deafening as my own. I can feel him pulling himself free from his boxers and working on the condom at record speed. He pulls my panties to the side and he’s there, on me, feeling me.

An earth-shattering groan evicts itself from my throat as he lands his mouth over mine as if making me swallow it back down.

“You’re wet.” His chest rumbles with a dry laugh, and just like that he replaces his hand with a more prominent part of his anatomy. My entire body stretches to accommodate him. After six long years, it’s safe to say I had regressed back to a virginal state, and I can testify to this fact by the burn he’s incited in me. He gives one bionic thrust and pushes himself as far as my body will allow, and we both let out an aggressive moan in tandem.

“Shit,” he hisses as he takes a quick bite from my neck. Axel pins me to the wall, his kisses running rampant over my lips, my cheeks, my neck, and shoulder. His hands secure themselves over my hips, and he dives my body over his with a marked aggression. Axel hammers away, grinding his hips into mine, and with every single thrust he grunts out a roar of passion. This is years of worked-up aggression coming to a head, a multitude of fantasies all playing out at once. It’s an explosion in the fireworks factory, with every last glorified cherry bomb going off at once. I’ve never known this heightened level of ecstasy was possible. Sure, Axel and I always brought passion to the table, but this is off the charts, illegal in most parts of the world, I’m sure. This is bona fide nirvana, something just outside the grasp of ordinary people. Axel and I had never been ordinary. We were special, and that was the gift we both brought to the table and the bedroom.

“Lex,” he pants hard into my ear as he grabs my hips with superhuman strength and crashes my lips over his for a brief, hungry kiss. Axel lets out a mighty roar loud enough to rattle the walls as he holds me down, shaking and quivering over me as he arrives at completion. His chest pounds hard over mine, detonating like a series of eardrum-shattering sonic booms. Axel stills, burying his face in my neck, warming me with his breath. For a moment, I’m worried he’ll say something I’m not ready to hear—that I may never want to hear. The last thing I want are words exchanged between the two of us—at least not anything decent.

“Come on.” He pulls out and secures my legs around his waist as he shuttles us into a dark, cavernous room. The lights pop on as we head to an enormous bed with a thick tweed comforter neatly draped over it. “It’s time for that dessert you promised me.”

Axel lands me on my back, whips off my panties, and pins my knees to my ears with his hands. He dives in headfirst with those wet, heated kisses straight to that tender part of me. I look down to see his dark head writhing over me, and I do the only thing left to do—scream with ecstasy so earthly loud it has the power to shatter every window in a three state radius.

And then I scream again because I never want this feeling to end.

I never want us to end.