Chapter 22

CARRIE

Blake’s house really is amazing. As I walk through the living room to the spare room where my laptop is set up, I pinch myself in disbelief. I am in awe. Every day, I wake up and keep my eyes closed tight in the fear that when I open them, I will be back in my own place and realize this is all just a dream. But then I open them, I see Blake beside me, and I realize that it really is happening. When that happens, I laugh. I just cannot believe it.

And it isn’t just the house that I love, but the atmosphere that comes with it. It feels like I am constantly on vacation. Christina, the housekeeper, cleans every morning, the chefs cook and all I have to worry about is Blake.

Every night, Blake comes home from work, and the two of us talk about our day. Then we have sex. And then we usually have sex again. The sex is unreal and gets better every single time. We have begun to learn about each other’s bodies, what we both like and dislike. Each time we learn, the sex improves.

I’m finding myself liking Blake more and more. At first, it’s more physical than anything. Now that I’ve gotten to know him, I can’t help but admit that I am starting to fall for him. Even now, sitting at my laptop. It’s only just past lunch, and I continually check the clock, hoping that it’s time for him to come home.

I shake my head as these thoughts intrude. I’m at my laptop, and I need to concentrate on my book. The book is coming along so well. Being around Blake has provided the perfect inspiration, and the words flow from my fingertips like water from a fountain.

Every night as I sleep with Blake and every morning as I say goodbye, I feel inspired. The book will be finished in no time and when that happens? Well, maybe, I will have a place like this one day.

I begin to type and something odd happens. I can’t find the words. It’s the first time since I arrived here that I have struggled to type. And I know why. I can’t stop thinking about tomorrow night.

It’s the first day of my ovulation, and I know that Blake will be extra excited about having sex. In fact, I’m quite sure that he is going to have something planned. That’s just how he is.

My only worry is that he is going to start treating me like some sort of baby-making machine. The last few nights have been all about the sex and pleasure. He has been so attuned to my body and my needs that I had almost forgotten why we are doing what we are. But now that I am ready, I fear that he will forget about me.

I’m also worried about what will happen after. Every day, I can feel myself liking Blake more, and every day, I question my future plans. I loved my sister, and I still do. I would, and will, do anything to avenge her. I just hope that when the time comes, I am able. I hope that I can do it.

The phone rings, snapping me from my thoughts. I pick it up, smiling when I see it is Amy calling. I could use the distraction, and I answer the phone happily.

“Amy,” I say.

“Carrie,” she says, feigning a serious tone. “How are you?”

“Good,” I gush. “How can I not be?”

“Okay, rub it in why don’t you,” she says, laughing to herself. “You live in a palace with a hunk who showers you with gifts and what I assume is pretty amazing sex. Which is why, I’m assuming, that you have been there all week?”

“Did you call just to complain?”

I haven’t told Amy the real reason for me having moved in with Blake. Not yet anyway. I plan on it. I do. But no point in saying anything before I get pregnant. I just don’t know how she is going to take it. Especially since she knows who he is and the history he had with my sister.

“No, I miss you, silly,” she says. “And I have a few minutes to kill between appointments, and you’re at the top of my speed dial.”

“Well, like you said, everything is going amazingly.” I don’t care how pretentious it might sound. “Like seriously, he has his own chefs even. It’s insane.”

“And the sex?” She pushes.

“Is unreal, of course. You hit the nail on the head before. Why else would I be shacked up here?”

“Girl, I’m just glad that you’re getting some. Finally. Now when I start getting a little of my own, we can have a party.” She’s joking, but I can hear the envy in her voice. “Does he know, though?”

“Know what?” I ask. For a moment, I worry that she knows my plan. But that’s impossible. She doesn’t even know about the baby yet.

“About you and Lyndsey? Have you told him who you are?”

“Oh that,” I say, and I breathe a sigh of relief. “No, not yet.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I will,” I assure her. “When the time is right.”

“And when will that be? The longer you wait, the more awkward that conversation is going to be. ‘Hi. Just so you know, you used to date my sister, and I know that you dumped her because she was pregnant.’ That will be fun.”

“I know,” I assure her. “I’m going to soon. It’s just, I don’t know.”

“Wait a minute,” she cuts in. “Either the sex is that great or you’re starting to like him.” I’m silent and that tells her everything. “You do like him!”

It’s just now that I hear the front door open. Blake is home, hours earlier than usual. My heart skips in my chest.

“I’ve got to go,” I say quickly.

“What? No, don’t you dare!”

I hang up the phone and leap from my chair. I don’t even realize how excited I am until I’m halfway to the door. I slow myself down, not wanting to act like an excited puppy when its master comes home.

Spotting Blake walking across the living room, I offer him a warm smile and walk toward him. He returns the smile, holding his arms out in a mock exaggeration. Even still, I walk into them and hug him with all my might.

“Hey, honey,” he says jokingly.

“Hey, sweetie,” I reply.

It’s in this moment that I realize something. I really like Blake. Despite all my blustering and denial, I really like this guy. More than I had planned. And as he continues to hold me and kisses me on the head, I wonder to myself if I will have the strength to do what I need to. I wonder if I will be able to leave him and take the baby when I do.

Somehow, now, I’m not so sure.