Thursday night, I arrive home from working out early enough to have dinner with Jade, so my mom could leave for a girl’s night out with her friends.

I prepare my shake and watch Jade eat chicken nuggets as my stomach grumbles. The first day of the cleanse was brutal, but I’m getting used to the feeling of my stomach eating itself.

“How was school?” I ask.

“Good.” She mumbles over her food. “I think I have a crush on Logan.”

Oh boy. Is this stuff really starting already? “I think maybe you like him as a friend,” I suggest.

“A lot of girls have crushes on the boys.” She takes a drink of her milk.

“That doesn’t mean you have to. There’s plenty of time for that.” I walk over and smooth out her hair, wondering if I could be the first mom to stop her kid from growing older. Her innocence is slipping away from me.

“It’s not a big deal. He asked me to go to the carnival with him and his mom.”

I sip my shake, my eyes closing while I try to pretend to myself that it’s a real strawberry shake with whip cream. “What about Henry? He probably wants to go with you.”

“That’s what I told Logan. That Henry had to come with us.”

“What did Logan say?”

“He said he’s not into three-ways.”

My shake spews out of my mouth all over the table.

“Mom!” Jade screeches and we both get up to grab the paper towels.

“Sorry,” I say, taking them from her hands and cleaning up the mess while she sits back down to finish her dinner.

“I told Logan that we do four-ways all the time,” she goes on to say while she watches me clean up.

Please, please hold it together, Vic.

“Four-ways?” I ask.

“Yeah, you, me, Henry and Reed,” she says it in the tone of, like ‘duh mom get a clue.’

“At your age, group outings are a good way to have fun.” I walk over to the garbage under the counter and toss the paper towels in.

“Logan doesn’t think so.” She rolls her eyes.

“Well, then I guess he’s going to miss out, huh?” I wink.

“You winked like Reed,” she squeals.

“He must be wearing off on me.”

I haven’t dated over the past two years, so there’s been no one I’ve had to talk to Jade about. No one that would penetrate our bubble, but Reed is slowly breaking past that hard, protective exterior I wrapped around us.

“Can we talk, Bug?” I ask, tears already threatening to spill.

“We are talking, Mommy,” she says, literal as always.

“Yes, we are, but I want to talk to you about Reed.”

“I like him.” She bites one of her chicken nuggets.

“Me, too.”

“I didn’t like you going out with him just you two.” Her lips tip down and she stares at me.

“You know adults sometimes do things on their own.”

“Not you and Reed. You guys take us with you.” She sips her milk and I press the remote to turn off the small television in the kitchen to stop her wandering eyes. “Mom,” she pleads.

“We do take you and Henry with us, but things with Reed are…”

“I know, Mom.” Her hand moves toward the remote, but I slide it away out of her grasp.

“You do?”

“Yeah, you and Reed need privacy. Jamie told me that her parents need privacy and so they lock the door on Saturday night and she can’t get in until they open it on Sunday.” My eyes widen, but she carries on. “Is he going to be my second daddy?”

“No, Bug. That’s not what I’m saying. But I do like Reed and we like to spend time with you, but also just the two of us.”

“You like a two-way?” she asks.

God help me.

“I want to get to know Reed better,” I say.

“Like what his favorite game is?”

I shrug, a smile tugging on my lips. “Yeah and to see if I like spending time with him when it’s just us two.”

“Like play together. Logan likes basketball. I told him I like the monkey bars.”

“Kind of like that, yes.”

“Why don’t you just ask him questions?”

I notice she’s running out of ranch dip and needing something to do other than listening to my seven-year-old give me dating advice, I busy myself with the task.

“I do, but the best way to get to know someone is by spending time with them.”

“You keep saying spending time, Mommy, but you mean playing, right?”

I bite my lip. “Sure, if you want to call it that.”

I work really hard not to let my mind drift off with all the playing we could do.

“I’m going to go out with him tomorrow night.” I squirt more ranch dip on her plate and then return it to the fridge.

“What if he likes the same things as you?”

Maybe I’m doing this all wrong, but I’ve never done this before.

“Well, he doesn’t have to like all the same stuff I do. It can be okay to like different things.”

“So, I can have a crush on Logan even if he likes to play basketball and I like the monkey bars?” Her face is so serious it’s hard not to laugh. Part of me wishes I would have recorded our conversation so I could replay it for her when she’s older.

“Most of the time you’ll find that it’s your heart that tells you who you like.”

She glances down to where her heart is. “My heart doesn’t speak to me.”

Yep, I’m lost. No GPS, lost in the middle of nowhere making a bunch of left turns with not a soul in sight. Damn it.

“Your heart doesn’t speak, it feels, Bug.”

Again, her head falls down, staring at her heart. “I feel nothing.”

Trying to lead us back to the main road I try a different route. “You say you love me.”

She shrugs. “You’re my mom.”

“You love Grandma?”

“Yeah.”

“Daddy?”

“Yeah.”

“Henry?”

“Ew. No. I like Henry.”

“You’ve only known Henry for a few weeks, but what if you remain friends for years? Then you might love him.”

She shrugs and from the lost look in her eyes, I see this conversation is going nowhere.

“Forget all that. I wanted to let you know that I’m going to Reed’s tomorrow night and Grandma is watching you. You can pick what you want to do together on Sunday.”

I take her dish since she’s done.

“Can I watch television now?”

“Yeah, sure.”

She runs into the other room and I rinse her plate, placing it in the dishwasher. My stomach is empty, and my craving for chocolate is in high gear over the conversation with Jade and the fact that in twenty-four hours I could be naked in front of—or under—Reed Warner.