Chapter 8

Gracen

The doorbell rings and I take a quick peek in the oven. My quiche is starting to brown nicely on top, so I turn the gas off before cutting through the dining room to the front foyer.

Josie stands on the other side of the door when I open it, holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a bag of Hershey Kisses in the other.

“I have to say, your wine and chocolate sound a lot better than the quiche I have in the oven,” I say dryly as I step back to let her in.

Josie chuckles as she enters and then gives me a wink. “Quiche sounds wonderful. We’ll drink wine with it and have the chocolate for dessert.”

“I like the way you think,” I tell her with a grin, and she follows me back into the kitchen.

“Where’s Lilly?” she asks as she sets her gifts on the counter and plops down one of the stools at the L-shaped island.

“It’s her nap time,” I say as I use oven mitts to pull the quiche out. “I put her down a little early after we made lunch plans.”

Said lunch plans were unexpected and a joy to receive. Josie had called me not long after Marek had slunk out of the house this morning to go help one of his teammates.

And yes, he slunk. He felt like shit for judging me, as well he should. But I let it go, knowing that he doesn’t understand hardly anything about being a parent. It made me brood while I lingered over coffee and Lilly ate pancakes. Trying to reconcile angry Marek with judgmental Marek, and trying to reconcile those two Mareks with the one who tried to seduce me last night.

Josie was a nice distraction. She asked if we could do lunch today, and I invited her over to the house because I had intended to try this new quiche recipe I’d formulated in my mind. It’s full of spinach, goat cheese, and feta cheese and I hope it tastes all right.

Smells all right for sure.

“So there’s a job opening at the hospital where I work,” Josie says out of the blue, and I almost drop the quiche. I set it down on top of the stove and drop the mitts on the counter as I turn to face her. “It’s not neonatal, but they are searching for a labor and delivery nurse. In fact, the job hasn’t even been posted publicly yet, but feelers were put out to staff for any personal recommendations.”

“Okay,” I say hesitantly.

“If you’re interested, I want to personally recommend you,” she continues.

“But why?” I blurt out, walking to the island that separates us. “You don’t even know me.”

“That’s true,” she replies with a wave of her hand. “So maybe let’s start with this…are you interested in a job here, and if so, are you qualified?”

“Of course I’m qualified,” I tell her with a smile. “And I have excellent references. My supervisor was surprisingly understanding of why I had to leave so soon without giving notice, so I’m not too worried about that. But I’m not sure how to answer your first question, am I interested?”

“Because if you were interested that would mean you’re reconciled to stay here permanently,” Josie drawls as if she’s hazarding a guess.

It’s a damn good guess. Still, I hedge slightly. “It would be a fresh start for me.”

Josie studies me for a moment, but then she just merely nods toward the quiche. “Want to serve that? I’m starving.”

The request startles me for a moment, but then I remember my head. “Yeah, sorry. Let me get some plates.”

I slip into hostess mode and plate up two perfectly sliced pieces of the quiche. As I reach for some forks out of the drawer to my right, Josie asks, “Are you here to stay then?”

If I had my way, yes.

If Owen gets his way, no.

My answer comes out without thought, because Lord knows I’ve spent a lot of damn time thinking about it already. “I think I’d like to. But I want to get my own place. It’s just not going to work out staying at Marek’s house.”

“Is he still being a dick?” Josie asks as she stabs her fork down into the quiche. “Because I can get Reed—”

I shake my head and hold my hand up to stop her. “No, nothing like that. I mean, he’s still angry at me, but it’s waning. I can tell.”

“Then what’s the problem? That’s one less pressure on you right now, having to find a place to stay and pay for it.”

Another hard shake of my head. “That’s not it. It’s just…”

My words trail off because it’s all kinds of fucked up. I don’t even want to say it out loud.

But Josie’s eyes go a little wide as if she’s had an internal epiphany and she leans across the table a bit more to whisper, “Oh my God. You still have feelings for him, don’t you.”

Shame drags my head down, and when I risk a peek back at her, I admit, “I always have. Even as angry as I was at him for breaking my heart, you never forget your first love.”

“And now you two have been thrown back together in less than ideal circumstances,” she muses out loud, as if she’s trying to put pieces of a puzzle together.

“It doesn’t really matter,” I say quickly to stop her from taking this any further. “Marek will never forgive me for what I did, keeping Lilly a secret. And besides, he’s just a playboy. He might want to mature up and be a daddy, but that’s all there will ever be between us. Parenting responsibilities. He’s made it perfectly clear that he likes his freedom from a romantic commitment.”

“I don’t know about that,” Josie says as she shakes her head. “You should have seen him when he found out you were getting married. He was freaked out big time. I think he’s still got feelings.”

“Doesn’t matter,” I maintain staunchly, refusing to even let myself think about that. Things are way too up in the air with Owen throwing a wrench into things and expecting me back in New York in a few weeks. “Everything’s changed now that he found out I had Lilly and didn’t tell him.”

Except…he did almost kiss me last night.

But he was drunk, Gracen.

Drunk and being stupid. That’s all there is to it.

“We’re friends, right?” Josie asks me as she sets her fork down and I blink at her in confusion.

“Um…yeah.”

“Okay, then I’m going to get all up in your business and be nosy, and if we’re not that good of friends or we don’t have the potential to be that good of friends, tell me to shove it and mind my own business.”

“Okay,” I say hesitantly.

“Honestly…no shit. Friend to friend and I’ll take this to my grave—I won’t even tell Reed—but I sense there’s more to this story. What’s the deal with Owen?”

My cheeks turn hot that she’s asking me point blank now as a new friend and someone who’s just laid a job opportunity before me. More important, I really like Josie and think we could become very good friends.

I weigh keeping my secret versus letting one person in on the entire truth, especially since she’s said she won’t tell anyone else, including Reed. I don’t want my shitty predicament to get back to Marek, who already thinks I’ve got a few screws loose in the head for keeping Lilly a secret.

With a heaving sigh, I poke my fork down into the quiche and unburden myself. “Owen was blackmailing me to marry him.”

When I risk a glance at Josie, she blinks at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. “I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“You can probably call me an idiot for getting caught up in it,” I mutter before taking my first bite of the quiche.

I can’t help the tiny moan. Man, that tastes like heaven, and I’ll be making this recipe again.

“You’re not an idiot,” Josie says with such assurance someone might believe it. But not me.

She pushes up from her stool and grabs the bottle of wine. “Where’s the corkscrew?”

I point to a drawer beside the sink.

“Glasses? And regular glasses are fine. We don’t need fancy stuff.”

I point to a cabinet.

When Josie is back at the counter, she uncorks the wine and pours our drinks. After taking a liberal sip, she nods at me. “Okay. Lay it all on me.”

I set my fork down and take a sip of the wine myself. Then another just for good measure.

“It just got out of control so fast,” I tell her. “I accepted his invitation for a date. I’d known him since high school, and while I didn’t care for him then, he’d seemed to mature. Had a bigwig job at the bank his father runs, so I thought, why not? I was tired of being alone.”

Josie nods at me in sympathy. “Girl, you don’t know how much I can relate to that, but that’s another story for another time. Go on.”

“So I went on a handful of dates with him,” I continue with a glum voice. “And they were good. Fine. He seemed nice. He was attentive and kind to Lilly. I mean, there weren’t major sparks, but it was fine.”

“He sounds boring as shit,” Josie mutters.

I can’t agree with that, because he was anything but boring. He was intense and intimidating. I was always on my toes around him.

“My parents took out a second mortgage with the bank his father works at to pay for my degree. About a year ago, my dad got laid off from his job and then he injured his back. For one reason or another, he couldn’t find a job, and once the savings ran dry, the note went into default.”

“Let me guess,” Josie says knowingly. “Owen stepped in and helped.”

“His father is the bank president. At first it was a thirty-day extension when they requested it. Then another. The entire time, he was upping his romance game with me. He started getting serious and dropped hints about marriage. There was no way I was marrying him, but I felt so trapped. He was helping my parents out…pulling strings. So I just sort of played along. I strung him along to be exact.”

Josie’s eyebrows raise, but her expression is sympathetic and nonjudgmental. She nods at me to continue.

“Until I couldn’t string him along anymore,” I admit to her. “His romantic proposal including a long-winded discussion about how his wife’s family would never have to worry about anything in the future. The implication was clear, and to prove himself, he got the note put into a temporary deferral. I knew if I didn’t say yes, my parents would lose everything.”

“What a shitbag,” Josie mutters.

“God, I was stupid.” The lament in my voice is painful to my ears. “He didn’t love me and I knew that. I didn’t love him either. I should have never let him bully me into it. I mean…my parents would never have wanted me sacrificing myself to help them out, but I just couldn’t stomach the thought of them losing their house when they put it at risk for my college education.”

“Why did he do it?” Josie muses out loud. “I mean, you’re gorgeous and sweet and smart, so I get the attraction, but why force a marriage that clearly wasn’t based on love?”

“I have no idea.” My voice is heavy and defeated, matching exactly how I always felt when trying to pull away from Owen’s pressures. “Our relationship was lukewarm at best. We didn’t…um…take things all the way. I wouldn’t. Pretended to hold out for marriage because I just wasn’t attracted to him in that way. How fucked up is that?”

“Sounds almost obsessive to me,” Josie says thoughtfully.

“I just don’t know. Stepping away from him—having distance between us—I look back on it and it just seems surreal. Like that really couldn’t have been me, on the verge of walking down the aisle with someone I didn’t really love.”

“You were doing it to protect your parents,” Josie reminds me gently.

“They would be so disappointed in me if they knew that’s why I was doing it.” They never had a clue.

Josie reaches out and takes my hand, giving it a quick squeeze of affirmation. “Where do things stand now with them?”

“Owen gave me two weeks to come back. Wants to get the wedding done, and he’s accelerated my parents’ note again.”

“Marek would—”

“No,” I say with a hard shake of my head. “He doesn’t know and I don’t want him to know. I was so stupid to get into that mess, and he already thinks I’m a nut job for keeping Lilly from him. I just can’t take any more of his condescension right now.”

I can tell by the look in her eyes she wants to argue with me. That she wants to advocate for Marek, believing in the goodness of his heart. And maybe he would offer to help me out, but I can’t ask him. I have no right to expect anything of him other than being a good dad to our daughter.

“How much is owed on the note?” Josie asks, seeming to accept my rebuff of Marek.

“Just a little under fifty thousand,” I tell her, then take in a deep breath. “So back to your original question about the job…yes, I’m interested. With a salary, perhaps I could work out some type of payments with the bank on their behalf. It wouldn’t be much, because I’d have living expenses—rent and such here—but maybe that could forestall the note going into default.”

“That’s definitely a good thought,” Josie says, but I can tell by the tone of her voice she has a better idea. “Or, you could just stay here at Marek’s rent free and let him continue to pay expenses. Then you’d have more money to offer the bank.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I murmur, moving my gaze to my wineglass.

“Why not?” Josie asks with dogged determination. “As long as he’s not being abusive to you, this is a good environment for both you and Lilly. Nice house, security, and it gives Marek more quality time with his daughter. It would then give you the opportunity to help pull your parents out of trouble without having to sacrifice yourself to that jackass you were going to marry or involve Marek any further.”

She has a damn good point. For the first time since I came to North Carolina, I feel a slight loosening of the ever-present tightness that’s been in my chest. Maybe I can get out from under Owen without my parents getting hurt at all.

I look to Josie with a smile taking form on my face. “Well, then, yes. I’m very interested in the job.”

“Perfect,” Josie says, and picks up her wineglass. She holds it out to me and I tap mine against it.

I take a small sip of my wine, and after I swallow, give a nervous laugh. “I can’t believe how much lighter my shoulders feel right now. I mean, I know I don’t have the job, but I do have a plan at least.”

“That’s the spirit,” Josie says with a chuckle. “But I’ll put in a very good word for you.”

Setting my wineglass down, I turn more fully to face Josie. The somberness in my voice reflects just how serious I am when I tell her, “Thank you. For letting me vent and helping me with a job. It’s more than I could have ever expected from such a new friend.”

Josie’s eyes twinkle with fondness. “You and I have a lot in common. I know what it’s like to have your heart broken by a man who leaves you. I know what it’s like to carry that around.”

“What makes you think my heart has been broken?” I ask her curiously. I haven’t told her any of my history with Marek.

“I recognize it,” Josie murmurs. “Am I wrong?”

I shake my head with a sad smile.

“Well, I also know that the pain can be overcome with the right type of man.”

“Reed?” I take a very good guess.

“Yes,” she says with a nod. “Now that’s an interesting story, which I’ll proceed to tell you over chocolate.”

I laugh and turn back to my quiche, feeling much better about my situation than I have in a long time. “Deal.”