Chapter Fifteen

Alexis

The moment we set foot into my apartment, I knew something was different. I could sense it. Feel it. There was something changing between Deyro and I – I just couldn't put my finger on what it was.

While the idea of us being married was outrageous, I got the feeling that it was something he was open to. When we'd talked at the bar – hell, when we'd been sitting there after Quint had dropped that bombshell on us – he seemed to be making arguments in favor of it. Or at least, seemed more willing to entertain the idea than I'd been.

Marriage was never something I thought about. Not something I wanted. What I'd told him at the bar was true – I didn't like being answerable to anybody. I didn't like the feeling that somebody else had a say in my life. I was my own woman and I would make my own decisions. Nobody would ever dictate my life to me again.

Even knowing that about myself though, I would have been lying if I'd said there wasn't some small voice in the back of my mind whispering to me. It said that there would be worse men than Deyro to be paired with. For all of his faults – and there were many – I knew him to be a good man. He did the right thing. Was honest. In his way, he was compassionate and kind. At the root of him was a man with a good heart. That much I knew.

But he was also smug, arrogant, and completely full of himself. He believed that he was the best in most everything and that the rest of us were a rung below him. He called it confidence – I called it cockiness. And it really was one of his most unattractive qualities.

But still, the arranged marriage question was a moot point. We were heading out on a suicide mission. I had no doubt we'd manage to get in and we'd do our best to complete our task, but even if we did, there was no guarantee we'd get out. In fact, I wasn't banking on the idea of getting out. I had a pretty good notion that we were going to die in Chondelai.

If my death though, served the greater purpose, if it allowed our alliance to go on and get stronger, if it allowed the Children and the Dragonborn go on and continue to protect the helpless, then it would be worth it. It would be a good death and one I could not just accept, but embrace.

That certainty of death though, made what was going to be my last night in my own home, in my own world, a strange time. Though the cold hand of death was already caressing me, I wanted to taste life one more time.

Which was why I invited Deyro back to my place. There was nothing more life-affirming than making love. Of course, it would have been even better if I'd been with somebody I truly loved. But I was going to enjoy every last moment of it anyway.

Maybe I didn't love him, but I couldn't deny there was some feeling for him in my heart. I had no idea what that feeling was, hadn't ever taken the time to stop and analyze it, but it was something.

It would have to be good enough.

“I didn't actually expect to ever be invited back to your place,” Deyro chuckled as he closed the door behind him.

“Honestly, I didn't expect that I'd ever invite you back,” I admitted.

A strange look crossed his face, darkening it for a moment. But then he gave me a small, sheepish smile.

“So, what changed?” he asked.

I gave him a small shrug. “It's probably our last night among the living,” I admitted. “Might as well make it an enjoyable one, right?”

His smile grew wider. “So, you're saying that you enjoy sex with me, then?” he asked. “It's maybe more than just scratching an itch?”

“Shut up,” I laughed. “Don't go thinking you're all that. I could just as easily go back down to that bar and pick somebody else up.”

Deyro smiled and pushed me against the wall. He leaned down and kissed me, running a hand through my hair. My body responded instantly, the fires within me igniting as our tongues touched and swirled around one another in my mouth. I ran my hands across his broad, thick chest, feeling the fires inside of me burning bright and hot.

I let my hands drift down to his waist and started to undo his belt buckle. I was already so hot that I intended to do him right there in the entryway of my apartment. But he gently took my hands in his and stepped back. He had the strangest expression on his face – one I couldn't identify. I cocked my head and opened my mouth to speak, but he put his finger to my lips, silencing me.

Picking me up in his arms like I weighed nothing, Deyro carried me through my apartment to my bedroom. He nudged the door open with his foot and walked inside, sitting me down on the edge of my bed. I looked up at him, not knowing what it was he wanted.

In all the times we'd been together, we'd never actually had sex in my bedroom. To me, my bedroom was my personal space. It was my safe space. The one place I could retreat to and be alone. It was sacrosanct to me. Which was why I'd never allowed Deyro into my room before.

But there was something different about him. I saw something changing in him. I noticed it when he'd come by earlier to make sure I knew he respected me. It was silly and awkward, of course, but he was earnest about it. He wanted to make sure I knew he was being sincere and that he respected me. For whatever reason, it had been important to him.

And in that moment, the way he was looking at me – I saw something in his eyes that I'd never seen before. I wouldn't call it love, but there was definitely something there. Something that went well beyond the battle-buddy relationship we'd had to that point. And it was something that stoked the fires in me even higher. My mind and my body were responding to what I saw in his face – not that I even truly understood what I was seeing.

Deyro looked at me and ran a fingertip along my jawline, caressed my cheek with it, and smiled down at me. He got down onto his knees before me and pushed me back on the bed. My breath caught in my throat as he ran his hands up my thighs, pushing my skirt up along with them. He slid my panties down slowly, gently – almost reverently. When he had them off, he dropped them on the floor and looked me in the eye with a deep, abiding hunger.

He parted my thighs and leaned forward, slipping his tongue inside of me. Never before had I let him go down on me. It was too personal – and I always avoided anything too personal with him. But in that moment, it felt right, so I let him. I gasped as he licked and sucked at the hot, wet center of me. I moaned when he slid his tongue deep inside of me, licked me with fire and passion.

The sensations spreading through my body as he used his tongue on me were intense. I felt like I was holding on to a live electrical wire and was having trouble catching my breath. But he kept going, working his magic with his tongue and fingers working in unison so deep inside of me.

It didn't take long for me to start feeling that familiar pressure building up within me. It came on quickly and when the dam broke, it was intense. I arched my back and my body spasmed as my orgasm tore through me like a hurricane. I cried out his name and grabbed his hair, pulling it and then pushing his head down harder.

My orgasm felt like it would last forever, but it eventually subsided. Sadly. It had been intense and amazing and left me wanting more. I pushed Deyro away and he got to his feet as I sat up. Biting my bottom lip, I grabbed his belt and quickly unfastened it as I pushed his pants down.

Giving him a salacious smile, I leaned forward and ran the tip of my tongue across his flat, toned stomach. I trailed my tongue down as I took him in my hand and gave him a hard squeeze. He gasped when I circled my tongue around the head of his cock as I began to move my hand up and down his shaft.

I'd never gone down on Deyro before – just as I hadn't let him go down on me. It was one of those things I deemed too personal. Too intimate. And I had to guess it had something to do with the fact that we were facing death that made me blow through those barriers. To allow and do things I never would have allowed or done before. But looking at the expression of pure rapture on his face as I moved him in and out of my mouth, stroking him with one hand and cupping his balls with my other, I was glad I did.

If we were going to die, at least we could go out knowing we enjoyed one night of intense pleasure with each other.

I moved my hand and slid him all the way into my mouth, taking him as deep as I could get him. Deyro gasped and as I slid my mouth back up his shaft, teasing him with my tongue as I went, I felt his body stiffen. He tangled his hands in my hair and whispered my name as I moved my mouth up and down on him, squeezing him nice and tight at the base of his cock.

I heard his breath catch in his throat and then Deyro was stepping back and pulling himself out of my mouth. The smile on his face and the look in his eye conveyed his hunger. His need. His desire. He needed to be inside of me every bit as much as I wanted him to be.

I crawled back on the bed and he followed me. Parting my thighs, I allowed him to climb on top of me, kissing him deeply as he braced himself on his arms above me. Slowly and gently, Deyro slid himself inside of me, sheathing himself completely in my warm, wet center. And it immediately felt like fireworks were going off in my head as he began to move his hips, sliding himself in and out of me in a slow, steady rhythm.

I grabbed hold of his arms, squeezing my eyes shut and gritting my teeth as my body exploded in sensation. I dug my fingers into his strong, thick arms as he continued to slide himself deep into me. His moans mixed with mine, filling the air around us with our sweet song.

Everything about being with Deyro this time was different. Every time we'd been together before, it had been about raw lust. Desire. Need. We'd both needed to get off. It was almost business-like in a strange way. We got together. We screwed. And then we went our separate ways.

The times we'd slept together before always had a frenetic energy. It was as if our sex was simply an extension of our anger with one another. It was fast. Hard. Rough. It wasn't so much about ensuring each other's pleasure. It was about getting off, plain and simple.

But this time, as Deyro moved inside of me and I received him, it was slow. Patient. Tender. Our bodies fell into an easy, gentle rhythm that seemed to heighten the pleasure rippling through our bodies. There was a patience and a care we took with each other this time. An intimacy and closeness that we hadn't had before. It seemed more like making love than having sex.

Deyro kissed me as he thrust himself deep inside of me. Even with his tongue in my mouth, I moaned as he filled me up completely. Everything felt so intense. It felt so amazing. I thought I might burst from it.

I felt his body tensing as he moved, sliding himself into me, his rhythm picking up a little more speed – a little more urgency. His breathing was becoming a little shallower and a little more ragged and I knew he was close. I arched my back, trying to take him even deeper, tightening my muscles around his cock to encourage him.

“Alex,” he whispered my name over and over again.

As he moved inside of me, his motion growing more frantic, it felt like my body caught fire. I bit his shoulder and dug my nails into his back, crying out with pleasure. I could tell he was trying to hold off, trying to make it last, but I knew he was just about to break.

“Let go, Deyro,” I moaned softly. “Come for me.”

Deyro's body stiffened and he let out an animalistic growl as his body obeyed my command. I felt his hot, wet seed shooting deep inside of me and it touched off my own orgasm. I cried out, my scream echoing around the room as my body toppled over that edge of pleasure along with him. I writhed beneath him, my body flooded by a torrent of sensation.

Eventually, our orgasms subsided and Deyro rolled over, flopping on his back next to me. I turned onto my side and laid my head on his chest, tracing his torso with my fingertips. We lay together in silence for several long moments, simply soaking in what we'd just shared.

“That was incredible,” he said.

I nodded but said nothing. There really was nothing to say.

“Alex, I want you to –”

It was my turn to put my finger to his lips to silence him. I didn't want him reading to much into what we'd just done. I still wasn't sure what to think of it. It had felt intense and emotional. It felt like we'd established some sort of connection between us.

But it may have just been the fact that we were leaving on a mission in the morning – a mission we likely weren't coming back from. Looking at certain death had a way of making things feel more urgent and perhaps, even a little more intense and emotional than they really were.

If – and it was a big if – we made it back alive from this suicide mission, we'd figure out what it all meant. If anything. Until then though, I just wanted to enjoy the moment.

“Rest,” I whispered. “We leave for Chondelai tomorrow and we need to be sharp.”

I knew he wanted to speak, to say something more – to address the elephant in the room between us. But, to his credit, he held it in and simply allowed us to enjoy our time together.