Chapter Twenty
Arabella swayed back and forth on the swing hanging from the large oak tree on the south side of Clarendon Manor. She placed her hand on her belly, the slight swell a comfort. How much more she would enjoy the anticipation of a babe if Nash were here with her. She missed him a great deal. In fact, so much so it surprised her. His smile, the way he rubbed the back of his neck or ran his fingers through his hair when he was faced with a dilemma.
Dilemmas that were mostly caused by her.
Had she been selfish in her demands that she be allowed to drag home any number of injured and bleeding animals? Truth be known, she could very well have made some concessions. Had she honestly believed that everything should go her way in marriage? She’d watched her mother host dinner parties, soirees, and Arabella’s coming-out ball. It would not be so very difficult for her to do the same for Nash.
He’d allowed her to bring home animals and treat them, commandeering his library, and taking up space in an empty bedchamber. Although she’d promised many times to search for good homes for them, she had been quite remiss in that endeavor.
The only time she had honored his request to host a dinner party, she had humiliated him by leaving their guests to tend to an animal. Feeling guilty and not too proud of herself, Arabella stood and shook out her skirts. She needed a distraction, a way to forget some of the things she’d done to the man who had been honorable enough to marry her to save her reputation when she had no care for it.
Perhaps a ride on her horse, Bessie, would be just the thing. She slowly climbed the stairs and entered her bedchamber. Before she pulled out her riding habit, she crossed the room and opened the door leading to Nash’s bedchamber. That was another thing that troubled her. She was having a most difficult time sleeping.
She loved pushing her bottom up against Nash and having him wrap his strong arm around her middle and pulling her close. She’d felt secure and protected. Cared for. Two weeks away from Nash seemed like so much more. How could someone crawl into her heart so easily?
Crawl into my heart?
She moaned, knowing the truth of it. As she sat on her bed, she considered the situation. She was carrying a babe, and wanted—nay needed—her husband with her. To share in the joy of the first fluttering in her tummy, to talk about names, dream about their child, and argue over godparents. True, he’d banished her to the country, but it had been her choice to leave.
Sighing, she stood and rang the bell for Sophia. Once she was outfitted in her riding habit, she strode from the house to the stables. Martin, the head stable master, pushed his cap back on his head and offered her a bright smile. “Will you be needing a groom to accompany you this morning, my lady?”
“No. I won’t be leaving the property.”
She placed her foot in his hand, and he hoisted her onto the horse. She had a moment’s dizziness, but then shook her head to clear it.
“Are you well, my lady?”
“Yes. I am fine. Thank you.” She tapped Bessie and the mare took off. She gave the horse her head and enjoyed the wind whipping through her hair. Pretty soon, she would not be able to ride this way, but she did not have Nash here to order her about.
Her hat flew from her head, and she laughed as it landed on a pile of leaves. She continued on, the fresh air in her lungs helping to clear the cobwebs from her head.
When she returned from her ride, she would pen a note to Nash and inquire after his well-being. She hadn’t received any correspondence from him, but one of them had to make the first move. Her heart felt lighter, and for the first time in two weeks, some hope of future happiness filled her.
One thing she could do while she waited for his response was to find homes for several of the dogs. It would hurt to give away some of them, but Nash was more important than animals. It was a shame it had taken her so long, and a separation, to realize that.
She climbed a rise and slowed the horse to a trot, then a walk. From here she could see the entire estate, all the tenants’ cottages, and the village off to the east, smoke from the chimneys floating in the air. Nash’s new land steward had been doing a wonderful job of meeting with the tenants, discerning their needs, and assuring them Lord Clarendon was truly interested in their success. Probably the best news he’d granted them was an end to the rent increase Jones had put into place.
The man still had not been found, but when she’d spoken with the new steward, Mr. Nelson, he had assured her he kept in touch with the magistrate to make sure Jones was still being sought.
She continued to take in the view and inhaled a deep breath of the country air. As much as she loved it here, her place was with her husband. Instead of writing and waiting for a response, she would pack up and return to London. The animals could stay here, and as much as it would break her heart, she would ask the staff to find homes for them. Once in London, she would limit her walks in the park so she wasn’t confronted by so many injured animals. She would, however, at least still help those who wandered into her path.
She would even—she shuddered—host another dinner party with orders she was not to be disturbed.
For any reason.
Feeling lighthearted and good about her decision, and anxious to begin the process of packing and returning to Town, she pulled on the reins and turned Bessie. Tapping the side of the animal with her crop, they took off, bounding down the hill toward the manor.
The first thing she would do when she returned to London was to tell Nash that he meant more to her than the animals. He had captured her heart. She grinned at the thought and hoped it wasn’t too late. He had tried to reason with her, but she’d been stubborn about doing everything her way. No more.
A slight niggling of doubt crept into her thoughts. Had he already given up on her? Would he turn her away when she returned? Chewing on her lip and pondering Nash’s response, she neglected to steer Bessie away from the rabbit hole. The horse stumbled, and Arabella went flying through the air, landing with a thump on her hip. Dazed, she sat up, then stood. A wave of nausea and dizziness washed over her, and she felt a stickiness between her legs.
Her knees buckled, and she landed back on the ground.
My baby!
…
Nash was finishing up his correspondence in preparation for leaving for Clarendon Manor. He would put a few hours on the road today, spend the night at an inn, and reach the Manor tomorrow. It had been a good decision.
After Manchester had left him the prior evening, Nash had sat and considered his situation. Yes, Arabella was stubborn. Yes, Arabella enjoyed taking care of injured animals. Yes, Arabella disdained Society and was not what he’d planned on when he’d decided to take a wife.
But she was his wife. Their two weeks apart had convinced him he did not want to live without her. Her deep commitment to helping those in need spoke a great deal about her character. So, she was not a frivolous miss, who lived to attend parties, and talk about styles and gossip, and cut other young ladies down. There was not a mean bone in the woman’s body.
That was what he loved about her. And love her he did. As Manchester had said, if it made her happy, then it would make him happy, as well. Who needed a well-run house, anyway? He chuckled at the thought as Quinn entered the library. “My lord, a messenger has arrived from Clarendon Manor.”
A messenger? “Send him in.”
“My lord.” The man Nash recognized as a lesser groom at Clarendon Manor entered the room, his hat in his hand. He held out a missive that Nash took and read. All the blood left his face, and he tried to control his breathing.
Lady Clarendon took a spill from her horse. May lose the babe.
It had been signed by his housekeeper. Numb for a moment, he recovered himself and addressed the groom. “Go to the kitchen and have Cook fix you something to eat.” He turned to his man of business. “An emergency has come up, and I must leave immediately for the country.”
“What about the rest of the correspondence? And I have a very promising report from the man who is running the venture you invested in. While I would not say your financial problems are over, they are certainly much less dire than they had been.”
Despite the good news, Nash was anxious to be on his way. “Pack it up and bring all of it with you to the Manor. Take my carriage. I will be riding one of the stable horses.”
He left the room and instructed Quinn to have Andrews pack him an overnight bag and to notify the stables that he will need one of the sturdier horses saddled and ready to leave post haste.
May lose the babe.
The words echoed in his brain as he changed into riding clothes and made ready to leave. Arabella must be terrified. And alone.
What a fool I’ve been.
…
The two-day trip turned into ten hours with Nash only allowing himself stops at inns along the way to switch horses and eat a quick meal. He was tired and scruffy when he rode over the rise before Clarendon Manor. He paused for a moment, which he did whenever he arrived home. The sight of the place he’d been raised, and where generations of Lords Clarendon had lived, always caused his heart to swell.
He rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what he would find, then kicked the horse to finish his journey, riding into the stable. With a quick nod to the stable master, he jumped from the horse, tossed the reins to the man’s outstretched hand, and headed to the house.
All was quiet when he entered. “Good evening, my lord.”
Nash nodded at the butler at the door, a new man. “Is her ladyship in her bedchamber?”
“Yes, my lord. I believe the surgeon is with her now.”
His lips tight, Nash bounded up the stairs. He knocked lightly on the door and entered. Arabella lay in bed, apparently asleep. She was pale, her lustrous hair spread over the pillow where her head rested. The surgeon spoke with Sophia, who turned at his entrance. “Oh my lord. Thank heavens you are here.”
Suddenly his mouth dried up, fearing what he would hear. Gritting his teeth, he moved toward the bed. “How is she?”
The surgeon smiled. “This is my second visit. Her ladyship bruised her hip when she fell, which is a minor concern. My fear had been for the babe she told me she was carrying.”
Nash nodded and held his breath as he waited for the man to continue. “She has had some bleeding, but as of this morning, it has stopped. If it does not start up again, I think the babe will be fine.”
Nash released the breath and tears flooded his eyes. He wanted to drop to his knees and thank God, but right now he needed more information. He swallowed several times to keep the tears from falling. “And she is well?”
“Yes. Only a bruised hip. But she was very lucky. A fall like this in her condition could have been quite catastrophic.”
“Nash?” Arabella’s weakened voice called to him from the bed. “You came.” Her smile lit up her face, causing him to grin.
“Yes, sweetheart. I came as soon as I received word of your accident.”
She rested her hands on her stomach. “The doctor thinks the baby might be all right.”
He walked to the bed and sat alongside her, taking her hand in his. “Yes, he just told me.” He kissed her hand and rested her palm on his face. “How do you feel?”
“Tired. I have been given something to sleep since the doctor thought sleep and bed rest might keep the babe in place.”
He studied her for a minute, taking in the lavender and lemon scent that followed her everywhere. She looked tired and wan, but never more beautiful to him. How he had missed her, and how much he wanted to make things right between them.
“I want to—”
They both started at once. However, what he wanted to say required privacy. He looked over his shoulder at the surgeon and Sophia. “If you will leave us now, I would like to speak with her ladyship in private.”
The surgeon nodded. “I have given instructions to her lady’s maid. If you have any questions, please send a note around and I will return. Right now, it looks as though all is well as long as her ladyship remains in bed for at least two weeks.”
“I guarantee it, sir.” He turned to Arabella. “Even if I have to tie her to the bed.”
The surgeon coughed slightly, and he and Sophia left the room.
Nash looked down at Arabella who looked uneasy, as though she were afraid of what he intended to say. He rubbed his suddenly wet palms on his pants. “There are several things we need to discuss.”
…
Arabella couldn’t believe Nash was really here. She had thought about him, and prayed that he would come to her, so much so, that when he’d first entered the room, she was afraid her tired mind had conjured him up from her imagination.
He looked so good. Scruffy, with red-rimmed eyes and his clothes full of road dust. He studied her with such concern in his eyes, she imagined perhaps he returned her feelings. Could she be so fortunate that he had discovered during their separation that he wanted her as much as she wanted him?
“I’m sorry—”
Again, they both spoke at the same time. Nash held up his hand. “No, I go first.” He took both of her hands in his and kissed her knuckles, gazing into her eyes as he spoke. “I love you, Arabella. The last two weeks have been terrible, the worst time of my life. I miss you, your smile, your laughter, and yes, the craziness that is our life.
“As I have now joined the ranks of to-be-pitied besotted husbands, I will no longer complain about your animals. I want you to be happy, sweetheart, and if being up to your elbows in animal blood”—he shuddered—“makes you happy, then it will make me happy, as well.”
Arabella swallowed the sob threatening to erupt from her chest. “And I love you, Nash.” She continued in a thick voice, fighting the tears. “It only took a few days here by myself to realize I care about you and our marriage more than I ever will about animals. I was planning to come back to London to host another dinner party”—she shuddered—“and be the perfect ton wife when I was thrown from Bessie.”
“Ah, sweeting, you are the perfect ton wife for me.” He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. “The best thing that ever happened to me was you falling into my arms in a dark library at the Ashbourne’s ball. I thought I wanted a typical debutante for a wife. You showed me that what I considered a typical wife would make me bored and restless for the rest of my life.”
Despite her best effort, a lone tear slid down her cheek. “I am giving away most of the dogs in the kennel. The staff has been finding homes for them since I’ve been bedridden.”
She released the rest of the tears that were trying so hard to burst forth. He pulled her up and hugged her to his chest. “We will each make some concessions, and I’m not promising that we won’t argue over things, but in the long run, what matters is we love each other, and we can overcome whatever difficulties we face.”
Nash stretched out on the bed alongside Arabella. “I am exhausted.” He intertwined their fingers together. “I haven’t slept well since you left.”
“Me, neither.”
He tapped her on the nose. “I miss your warm bottom shoved up against my hip.”
Arabella felt the heat rise to her face. “My lord!”
Nash yawned and turned on his side. “I need food, but I’m too tired to go to the kitchen and interrupt Cook to make me something.”
“My lady, is there anything else you need for the night?” Sophia entered the room and stopped abruptly when she saw Nash lying alongside Arabella on the bed. “Oh, excuse me, my lord.” She began to back out.
Nash sat up. “No, wait. Don’t leave.”
She continued to ease herself toward the door. “My lord?”
“Yes. I am in dire need of sustenance. Please see what you can find in the kitchen. Bread, cheese, fruit, anything at all.”
“Yes, my lord.” She still looked uncomfortable with the two of them in bed together. “My lady, do you wish something as well?”
“Bring enough for both of us. Her ladyship needs food.” He rested his hand on her belly. “A great deal of food.”
Sophia smiled. “Yes, my lord.”
“And tea.”
Once the door closed, Nash drew the covers off Arabella and ran his hand over her slight belly. He bent and kissed her stomach. “Good night, little one. Soon you will become part of the most peculiar family in all of Christendom.”
Arabella’s brows rose. “Only Christendom, my lord?”
He smiled her favorite crooked smile, warming her heart. “Give us time, my love, just give us time.”