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Keep Me by Leah Holt (1)

Prologue

Locke

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The window was closed tight, but it did nothing to keep the outside world from trickling in. I could hear the wind whistle as it pushed through small cracks, filling the silence around me.

My nipples stiffened and pebbled as cold air washed over my body, forcing a tremble through my muscles. The mattress squeaked as I shifted, replacing my voice. All the words I had were gone, they had crumbled and broke apart as Cole laid me down and gently ran his fingertips across my forehead.

His deep brown eyes softened, staying on me, holding my eyes in place so nothing else could creep into my head and steal me from this moment.

He made me forget how to speak, he made me forget who I was. And I liked that, I needed that, I needed to forget everything for just once in my life.

My fingers tapped across his shoulders, tracing his firm muscles and following the thick lines of his body. The path led me down, over, around; it guided me to all the nooks and dips bulging and tensing as he rested above me on his elbows.

Our chests touched. One breath in and they broke apart, one breath out and we were connected. I was shaking on the inside as if I was standing out in the open air and snow was delicately falling onto my skin.

I felt a new kind of cold, one that grabbed me, claimed me, held me like I had never been held before.

“Are you okay?” he asked, eyes never moving off of mine.

Biting my bottom lip, I nodded, trying to stop the chill from taking over my body. “I'm okay, keep going.”

Cole worked his lips over each breast, licking and sucking with wanton need. His mouth wrapped my tit, cheeks hollowing as he sucked my nipple into his mouth.

And for the first time in years, every inch of my body was alive—breathing, living, allowing the present to outweigh the past. The veil of darkness had shifted, falling off my shoulders and pooling around my feet.

I smiled because it felt right, I giggled because my lungs instructed me to.

I was happy, I was normal.

I was. . . Me.

I want more.

What he was doing to me was a drug, I had a hit, and all I could think about was the next high. Tonight was more than just sex, it was more than just a man and a woman finding pleasure in each other. Tonight I was finally set free.

Free of the past that followed me like a black mass.

Free of the girl that couldn't find trust in others.

Free of the life that held me baited in limbo, waiting for the wall to topple over and crush me where I stood.

This man had given me the strength to let him in. He showed me kindness and compassion like no other. He made me forget about the demons that ate away at my heart, replacing the cold stone with a hot ruby.

And my body reacted, it grew wet and heavy, full of electric pops and explosions. My brain was working overtime, trying to digest each and every feeling that found its way inside.

They were new and fresh, basking my skin in light and forcing me to shed the shell that cocooned me and held me prisoner for so long.

“Does that feel good?” he asked as his eyes flicked up under hooded lids and his tongue twirled over my breast, tasting the hardened bead.

Smiling, I raked my fingers through his hair and pushed my chest deeper into his mouth. “It feels amazing.” Licking my lips, I let his eyes capture mine and hold me still.

I couldn't look away, I didn't want to look away. I wanted to etch every ripple and curve of his face into my brain. I wanted to remember that I could be happy, that I hadn't lost all of myself after everything was stripped away.

My name was different, my hair was dyed and long, instead of red and short like it had been for years. But I was still me, despite what I looked like on the outside. I tried so hard to lock that girl away deep inside, and protect what innocence she had left after her entire world turned to dust.

Smirking, he dragged his tongue across my chest and licked my other nipple. “Just you wait, this is only the beginning.” Biting my skin, he took in a heavy breath as his fingers ran over my ribs.

Sucking in a sharp gasp, goosebumps broke over my skin as his hands worked lower, digging into my hips and brushing close to my sex. I was already feeling the tingle in my lower belly as my pussy clench down, aching for him to be inside.

I felt empty, ready to have him fill that void with his cock. Was I a virgin?

Not exactly.

I only had sex one other time in my life, but it wasn't anything like this. I was seventeen, on the verge of graduating high school and desperately needing a release from the world I hated.

But it wasn't with a man, it wasn't with someone as smooth and caring as Cole. I had given myself to a boy even though I didn't want to be touched by anyone. I forced myself to do it, spending every second telling myself that this was what normal girls did.

That boy's hands felt like fire on my skin, it burned and hurt and none of it felt good. I was happy he didn't last, I was glad it was over in the blink of an eye.

Sex had been ruined long before that boy came along.

I wasn't normal. I wasn't just a regular girl.

And then I met Cole.

This was different, and I couldn't explain why. Cole knew how to touch me, he knew how to caress and soothe my body into accepting him, into begging for him. His touch was a spark and my flesh was the fuse. I was scorching, heating on the inside and melting under him.

His hard erection worked against my hip, bruising me with every rub and jerk of his waist. “I'm going to take my time with you, even though I just want to rip myself free and slam inside you. Fuck, Locke, the way you bite your lip, the way you look at me. . .” Pausing, he shook his head. “It's turning me wild, it's making me forget that I'm not an animal.”

Lifting my fingers to his face, I teased the tips of his hair, spinning them around one finger. “I don't know if that should scare me or not.”

“The last thing you need to be afraid of is me.” Smirking, he tugged his bottom lip in with his teeth. “All I can ask is that you just don't run.”

Run? Run from what?

From the first good thing to walk into my life in years?

Titling my head, I ran my fingers through his hair. “I'm not going to run.”

Grunting, he worked his way down my stomach, reaching the crest of my mound. Palming my bare flesh, he rubbed my clit with his thumb, spreading the hot juice into every fold. “Fuck, you smell so sweet, I want to taste you.” Licking his palm, he swallowed, allowing my flavor to coat the back of his throat. “Damn that's nice. I could just do this all night if you'd let me.” His tongue flicked over my clit, lapping and swirling as he sucked my swelling nub into his mouth with a moan.

My thighs shook, trying to close around his head. It was an impulse, a reaction I couldn't control. The closer his face got to my sex, the more my blood heated and my stomach jumped with excitement. The pressure forced my core to tighten and my muscles to jerk. His touch was magic.

Gripping my knees, Cole pushed them apart, butterflying my legs against the bed. Holding the inside of my thighs firmly in his fingers, he buried his face into my pussy, dancing his tongue over my clit, fast and aggressive.

Arching hard, my nails struck the bed, curling into the sheet, trying to secure me in place. I wanted to come right then and there. My body ignited as the charge spread fast and furious through my muscles.

Biting down hard, I clenched my teeth and moaned. “Holy fuck, oh fuck.” The words were mumbled, flittering out on air. Snapping my lids shut, my eyes rolled back into my skull.

I could see colors in the sudden darkness; reds, yellows, blues, and greens. The fireworks burst under my lids, creating a halo of ecstasy that wrapped my body like a snug blanket.

Everything around me went silent. The air whistling into the room was gone, the quiet tick of the clock on the wall had muffled. My eyes were trapped in place, staring at the bulging hard-on pushing forcefully against his pants.

Tisking under his breath, Cole kissed my inner thigh as he whispered against the skin. “You can't come without me inside you. I won't allow that.” Stroking the outline of his shaft, he played with the tip. “I'm so fucking hard right now it hurts.” Fumbling with his jeans, he unbuttoned them, quickly jerking the zipper down in one swift pull. “I need to feel you, I have to feel you as you lose yourself.”

Pulling his cock free, he gripped the thick muscle in his hand and slowly stroked it up and down. Reaching my hand out, I rubbed the tip, feeling the smooth skin under my fingertips.

My nerves began to run wild, questioning if he could even fit inside me. His cock was longer than my hand, thick as three of my fingers side by side. The head was throbbing, glistening in a slick layer of pre-come.

The pad of my finger slipped over the sticky liquid, smearing it around the crown. Bringing my finger to my lips, I sucked his flavor off my skin, tasting the salty cream.

“Shit,” he said under his breath as he squeezed the base of his cock. “You're a dirty girl, a very dirty girl.” His lip twitched as his cock pulsed against his palm, trying to break free and drive inside my warm center.

Cole kicked his pants off his legs as he stared down at me. His eyes pierced my heart, forcing the last layer of my shell to crumble away. I never expected I'd ever feel this much pleasure, this much lust and desire and need. . . And yet, it was there. It was feeding my veins, percolating under the skin like lava.

Not everything in this world was bad, there was a glimmer of good and I found it.

I finally found real happiness.

His deep brown eyes twinkled in gold and amber highlights as he watched my hips roll and my stomach shake. Pressing his hand against my belly, he leaned forward and placed a kiss on my heart.

“Don't be nervous, this is what you want, this is what I want.” His lips worked up to my collarbone, biting down gently. “And when I'm done with you, all you'll want is more, you'll never want me to stop.” Kissing my jaw, he brought his lips to my ear. “You'll never want to leave.”

Pushing my hips up, I rubbed my pussy against his rock hard abs, smearing them with my lust. “Take me, take me now.”

I didn't want to wait any longer. My pussy was pulsing, the walls searching and tightening in arousal.

Lifting his hand to my cheek, he stroked my face. “If only you knew,” he said as he bit the lobe of my ear. “You have no idea the things I'd do for you.” His tongue traced the shell of my ear as he pressed the engorged head of his cock to my entrance.

Taking in a heavy breath, I closed my eyes. I never wanted this to end, I wanted to live in this moment, in this feeling. I wanted to bottle it up and take it with me wherever I went.

Because this. . . This was everything I never thought I'd have.

Holding my thighs, Cole slid in deep. My back bowed, my chest surged, my heart pounded like a drum. An explosion of tingles raked my spine, forcing my toes to curl.

Biting my bottom lip, I forced my eyes to open. I had to see him, I needed him to keep me there in that moment, to not let me fall back to that day, that night, that horror.

The thought of being with a man had scared me to death, it was the tether that kept me from experiencing life. What I had seen, what I had been through, it ruined sex, men, love. . . It ruined everything for me.

But not here, not right now. With Cole it felt different. He didn't push me, he didn't make me feel like I had to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. He let me control how far we went, he gave me the power to shut down this whole fucking thing.

I wanted it. I wanted him. I wanted this.

Our eyes locked, his reminding me that this was a new experience, that I allowed him to have me.

Thrust after thrust, his cock split me open. Pushing in and pulling out, Cole held my knees, bracing me open. A glass sheen coated his chest as sweat beaded up on his shoulders and rolled down over the stepping stones his stomach muscles created.

I watched the drops as they carved their path, following hard lines and strong curves. My tongue tempted the opening, ready to devour the rest of him as he pressed down on me.

Scraping my hands down his ribs, I pulled him closer. His lips hovered above mine, barely touching, but so close. Cole let out a long breath and the heat rolled across my face, turning my skin from fleshy pink to deep cherry.

Crashing his lips onto mine, his tongue slipped into my mouth, tasting and dancing over the ridges. My stomach clenched as the orgasm that had been sitting dormant for so long finally swept through my body and claimed my muscles.

Trembling hard, I scratched my nails down his back and moaned into our kiss. I couldn't speak even if I had tried. There were no words to explain what I was feeling, to describe the rush that had just taken over.

I felt like I was standing at the top of a mountain, like the wind was holding me up and keeping me balanced on the edge. And as the orgasm settled deep in my core, the weight of the world lifted, making me lighter than air. I was afraid to let go of his shoulders, afraid that I would float away and be swept out the window.

With one final push, Cole's muscles drew up, stiffening and shaking as his cock pulsed inside me. Twitching with force, he yanked his cock free, spilling wave after wave of pearly white come all over my belly.

“Wow,” I said with a heavy exhale. “Cole, that was—that was incredible.”

Dropping to his side, he stared up at the ceiling, resting his arms above his head. “Locke. . .” Pausing, his eyes shut briefly, slowly opening to reveal pain and sadness. With his gaze set on the ceiling, his expression shifted. Wrinkles drew up across his forehead, his brows angling in hard, lips drawn back and taut. “What would you say if I told you I had a secret?”

Laughing, I eyed him curiously as I wiped what remained of him off my skin. “We all have secrets, Cole.” Flipping to my side, I tucked myself in close to him, tickling my fingers up and down his chest. “Everyone has them, even me.”

“But what if this secret changed everything, what if it changed how you looked at me?”

Tilting my head, I looked up and tried to read his eyes. “What is it? Don't bounce around it, just tell me so I can decide for myself.”

“Do you like being here with me?”

“I've never been happier than I am right now.”

Cole unhooked himself from me, standing up and grabbing his clothes. “Good, that's really good. Because I have to do something, and you're not going to like it. I don't want things to change between us, but they will. I just hope it's not forever.” Tugging his pants up, I noticed something was different about him.

His eyes. . . His eyes had morphed. The color was the same, the spark inside his pupils was the same, but it was the way he used them that made me nervous.

He didn't blink as he stared down on me blank and empty. The orbs bounced and danced inside the sockets, searching for words and excuses to whatever action caused this sudden manifestation of guilt on his face.

My chest grew heavy, forcing my muscles to tense, and making it hard to breathe. This wasn't the same man I had met, this was someone new. I wasn't sure if I should get up and run or stay still and let him explain the secret eating away at him.

“What are you talking about? Just tell me what the hell you're trying to say.” Pushing up in the bed, my eyes pleaded with him to just spit it out and tell me what the fuck was going on.

I didn't like this, I didn't like the way he was able to suddenly manifest from one man to another.

“I need you to know that I'm doing this all for you.” Taking a long stride, Cole reached the door and held it in his hands. “All of this is to keep you safe, Locke. All of it.”

“Cole, what the hell is going on? What are you talking about? I don't understand.” My stomach began to twist, curling up tight and making me want to throw up.

Keep me safe from what? From him? From something else?

Why would he talk like that? Why would he even insinuate that he needed to keep me safe?

Hanging his head, he walked out into the hall. “Forgive me for this.”

The door slammed shut, and I heard the clank of metal. Was that. . . A lock?

Jumping to my feet, I ran to the door and tried to tear it open. It wouldn't budge.

What the hell is he doing?

Twisting the handle frantically, I jerked my body backwards, trying to force it open with my weight.

Fuck! No. No, no, no.

Fuck!

My chest was tight, suffocating my lungs and refusing to let the air inside. This isn't happening, this can't be happening!

“Cole! Cole! Open the door, Cole!” Slapping the door, I kept jiggling the handle.

He didn't respond.

Pounding my fist against the wood, I screamed louder. “Fuck, Cole, let me out!”

Silence.

What is happening?

What the hell is he doing this for?

Pressing my ear against the door, I listened. I wasn't sure if he was still standing there or not, there were no other sounds.

Speaking softly, I asked, “Cole, are you still there?” The treble in my voice wavered with fear and shock. My eyes welled up, tears glazing the surface, threatening to take me down with them.

I tried so hard not to cry, I hated crying. Tears didn't change anything, they didn't make anything better or worse. Crying only kept the emotions there, tears only solidified the feeling that was taking over inside you.

I had promised myself years ago I would never cry again.

Taking in a deep breath, I wiped my eyes. “Cole! Don't fucking do this! Let me out of here!”

“This is how it needs to be. I'm sorry, Locke, I really am.” His voice was low, balancing between threat and desperation.

“Why? Tell me why?”

“Because I can't let you go, Hanna.”

Hanna?

How did he know?

How the fuck did he know my real name?

With my ear to the door, I heard his feet thump off into the distance. He was gone.

And I was locked away, taken by a creature that had just shed the skin of a man before my eyes.

Evil wore a cloak, and I was standing at its feet when it came down.

No one was going to find me here.

No one was going to look for me.

No one knew who I was—except he did.