INDIA

The hospital is quiet when I arrive. My mom is in surgical ICU and is on a ventilator. She looks so frail lying there on the bed, wires and tubes attached to her, the beep beep of the monitors making my heart race out of anxiety. I hate hospitals and I hate being in ICU, although I realize it's the best place for her given her injury.

My dad is a basket case, sitting by her bed, holding onto her hand. His face is pale, his eyes red from tears. He just sits there watching her, stroking her hand, talking to her.

He reminds her about their first date, and talks about how they took a holiday together to Alaska, driving up in an old van and watching the Northern Lights together while they camped. Seeing icebergs and being afraid of grizzly bears and polar bears, neither of which they saw.

He talks about their wedding, and how they went to Nicaragua and got married on the beach, good Neo-Marxists who were upset about the Reagan administration's attempts to overthrow the government. How they both got la turista and had the runs the entire time they spent in the posh hotel.

He seems like he's trying to coax her into coming back and not dying by telling her how great their lives are together.

They do have a great relationship – one I could only be so lucky to have for myself. They are two peas in a pod. They not only share the same values and goals, they love each other with passion and affection even after thirty years. They want to spend the rest of their days together, growing old together, enjoying their retirement together.

He tells her all this, his eyes filled with tears, and it only makes me cry all the harder to see him so afraid.

"Fight," he whispers to her before he takes a break so I can go in and sit with her for a while. "Don't leave me."

He kisses her tenderly on the cheek and strokes her brow, her head wrapped in bandages. Her eyes are shut, blackened from the fall. I am so afraid that she's going to die and I'll never be able to talk to her again.

Dad leaves the room, wiping his eyes, and gives me a big hug on the way out.

"I need to get something to eat," he says. That's when Jon arrives, his eyes expectant. I go out to him, and he pulls me into his arms and we hug. I'm so glad to see him, so glad he was able to get out on the next flight and is here with me now.

"Dad, you know Jon," I say to my father, who's busy mopping his eyes with a tissue.

"Of course, I know Jon. Good heavens." The two men shake hands and Jon takes my dad's hand in both of his, squeezing, and I think it's such a nice gesture on Jon's part. I've never seen him be affectionate to another man. I guess he sees my dad and wishes his own were still alive.

My dad leaves to get something from the cafeteria vending machines and I fill Jon in on how my mom is doing.

"I'm going to sit with her for a while," I say and point to the family room, with a kitchen and sofas for family members with loved ones in the ICU. "I'll probably stay all night with dad."

"I'll stay with you," Jon says.

I smile at him. "That's okay. You don't have to stay."

"I do," he says and shakes his head, pulling me closer. "I want to stay with you."

"Remember that we have a staff meeting tomorrow to go over the contracts. One of us has to do it. You should go home and get some sleep, because I won't be in."

Jon realizes I'm right and nods. "I'll stay for a while at least," he says. "When you take a break we can sit together and talk."

"There's really no reason," I say, because I know Jon is an early riser, getting up really early for a run before going to work. "We can text. I'm with my dad. It's best that you go now and be ready for the meeting tomorrow."

He looks so reluctant, but I really don't think it's appropriate for him to be here other than to bring me my stuff. It's not like my parents know that there's anything going on between us, and frankly, at this moment, my relationship with Jon is not my first priority. It’s nice he wants to be here to support me, but this is a close family matter.

"Go," I say and squeeze his hand. "I'll talk to you in the morning."

"Okay," he finally says, resigned. He slips his hand behind my head and bends down to give me a kiss. I kiss him back and he squeezes me once more and then leaves.

I turn and begin my vigil by my mother's bedside, taking her hand in mine.

I know she can't hear me, but I talk to her anyway, telling her all about what happened between Jon and me, leaving out the more graphic details (although I'm sure she'd be pleased to hear them) and telling her that I'm going to give Jon a chance so that I can either be with him or cross him off my list. I wish she was better and could offer some motherly advice, but that will come – hopefully as soon as she's better and back home.

My father returns about fifteen minutes later. He holds up a bottle of my favorite iced green tea and I'm glad that he thought to bring some for me. I turn back to my mom and tell her I'll be back later. I kiss her cheek and squeeze her hand and then leave.

"Here, sweets," my dad says, handing me the bottle of green tea. "I'll sit with her for a while. You can go home whenever you want, but I'm staying."

"I'll stay, too."

He goes back in beside her, taking the chair I vacated and I return to the family lounge and take out my laptop and message Marina.

INDIA: I'm here. Mom is still sedated, but they should start withdrawing the drugs tomorrow once they do another scan to see if the swelling's gone done.

MARINA: Oh, poor you! You must be so scared. Take it easy and let me know when she comes out of it and how she is. How are you holding up?

INDIA: I'm fine. Jon brought my stuff from the airport. I won’t be going in to work tomorrow.

MARINA: Oh, that's good. He doesn’t need you tomorrow or probably for a few days. That man works you too damn hard. Take a few days off. If you're up to it, you can come to my party on Saturday and meet my latest conquest for you.

Damn. I forgot about Marina and her damn dating app match. I don’t want her to know what happened between Jon and me in Washington. She'll kill me.

INDIA: I don't really think I'll be up to meeting some new man, Marina. My mom is seriously injured.

MARINA: Of course not. It's entirely up to you. Play it by ear, of course. I think you'll really like this guy, though. According to MATCHED, he ticks all your boxes. Things like your mother's fall make it all too clear how short life is and how things can change in an instant. Don't put off things that are important because there may not be a tomorrow.

INDIA: Of course you're right. But at the moment, meeting someone new is the last thing on my mind.

MARINA: As I say, play it by ear. We can always reschedule the date.

INDIA: Okay. Deal. If I don’t feel up to the party, I'll cancel.

Marina says goodnight and I sit and read my Facebook feed, losing myself for a while in the mindlessness of social media while I wait to spell off my father at my mother's side.

I spend another couple of shifts with my mom before I finally crash on the sofa when they turn the lights off. My dad has a recliner in the ICU room with my mom, so he sleeps at her side. I wake frequently as the doctors and nurses move around the hallways, visiting with patients and checking their stats.

When the sun rises, the bright light peering in from beneath the blinds at the family room window, I sit up and stretch. My neck is sore from the hard arm of the sofa I slept on, but at least I got some sleep.

I go to the washroom and am thankful that Jon brought my suitcase so I can brush my teeth and change my underwear. After I've freshened up, I slip in to my mom's room. My dad must be in the bathroom or maybe down at the cafeteria.

A nurse comes in while I'm there and checks on my mother. She smiles at me.

"She had a good night," she says with a smile. "They'll probably reduce her sedation today to see how she does."

"Thanks," I say, glad that the nurses are so good and attentive – not only to my mom's needs, but also her family's needs.

When my father returns, he has two cups of coffee in his hand and he looks like he's brushed his hair.

"I bought a toothbrush down at the gift shop and washed my face. I feel like a new man with the caffeine. Here," he says and hands me one. "I got you one. One Splenda, right?"

"Thanks. I need some," I say and take the cup. "You can sit with her for a while. I'll go and get some breakfast."

I trade places with my dad and leave him, taking my laptop and cup of coffee and head to the cafeteria.

Gradually, over the course of the day, my mom's stats improve.

Jon texts me to let me know that the staff meeting went well and that if I want him to come by, he'll be here in fifteen, but I put him off again.

INDIA: Maybe you better not. I need some distance from you so I can think things through.

JON: I don't like the sound of that. There's nothing to think through, India. You were all ready to give this a try before your mom's accident. What changed?

INDIA: Right now, I can't even think about it and what it means that we've decided to give this thing a try. Just give me some time, okay? We were supposed to take a week.

JON: We didn’t need a week. Don't change your mind.

INDIA: I won't. I want this, but let's take it slow. Wait at least until my mother's better for God's sake.

JON: Whatever you want. You let me know.

Then I feel bad. I don't want to hurt Jon, but right now, I can't be trying to deal with my mother and him.

INDIA: Just give me a few days, okay? When I know my mom's in the clear, I'll be happy to take up where we left off. Believe me.

JON: Like I say, you're in the driver's seat until I take over.

INDIA: You are so bad…

JON: You love it. Confess.

INDIA: I'll need much more experience before I know that for sure. Hours and hours more of experience…

JON:

JON: Call or text me at any time of day or night if you need me, or if you just feel like talking, okay?

INDIA: Okay. Thanks. I appreciate it. But please, do not let anyone know we're giving this a try. I don't want it to be public just yet.

JON: Why? Everyone already thinks we're fucking.

INDIA: I don't want it to get in the way of our business relationship, so I think it's best to keep it quiet until we're both sure.

JON: I'm sure so I guess that means you're not. Okay. I can handle that. My lips are sealed.

INDIA: Thanks for understanding. Talk later.

Jon doesn't reply. I know he's upset that I want to keep things quiet for now about our decision to try it as a couple, but I just feel strange if everyone is looking at us, wondering.

I want to fly under everyone's radar.

Most of all, Marina's.

The very last thing I need is Marina on my case, reminding me why Jon is the worst possible match for me.

No one needs that kind of shit.

The day wears on, with my dad and I taking shifts beside my mom or spending time in the family room watching television.

Finally, they scoot my dad out of the room while they bring my mom off the drugs keeping her sedated and she wakes up. Their tests show she's still in there and can move all her limbs. There’s no permanent damage, so they withdraw her breathing tube and she's breathing on her own.

She sleeps because of the injury and the drugs, so we don't get to talk to her, but we know she's better.

Dad is so relived, he cries and I hold him in my arms, patting him on the back.

He loves her so much.

"You go home now," he says to me, stroking my hair when he recovers a bit. "The doctor says she's over the worst of it, and now she just needs to heal. They'll move her to the neurology ward soon."

"Okay," I say and I'm honestly glad to get home so I can crash on my own bed. I need a shower badly and am sick of the cafeteria food. "When she wakes up, tell her I love her and I'll be up to see her later. Call me if anything changes."

"I will."

Then I go to my apartment and sleep for eight hours straight.

Jon shows up at my door early in the morning, his SUV pulling into my driveway while I'm standing at the kitchen sink, washing a few dishes.

Damn. I just woke up and haven't had a shower. I'm still wearing a little silky nightgown and have no underwear on.

I rub my eyes and stand at the door, not letting him in because I don’t want to get into anything. He's wearing his shorts and a t-shirt and has been out for a run.

He holds up two cups of coffee.

"I come bearing gifts."

"I'm not presentable right now." I hold the door almost closed.

He peers at me, his eyebrows raising.

"You look very presentable to me." He hands me a cup of coffee. "You're not going to invite me in? I drove all the way out here just to bring you this."

"I'll come in to work later this afternoon, after I've visited my mom. I'll see you then."

I try to close the door but he puts his foot in between the door and the jamb.

"You're really not going to invite me in? Do you think I'm going to ravish you or something?"

I smile at his cheeky grin, unable to resist. "Yes."

"Damn," he says, smiling more widely now. "Busted."

He laughs and then nods at me. "Okay. I'll see you this afternoon. This is me getting the big hint."

"See you later," I say and then stick my head out of the door when he turns to leave. "And thanks for understanding."

"Oh, I don't understand," he says, walking backwards. "But I'm willing to cooperate anyway."

Then he turns back and hops in his vehicle. He drives off, giving me one last smile before he disappears onto the street.

I feel like a real bitch, and I really do appreciate his thoughtfulness in bringing me my favorite coffee, which I have every morning before work, but I need my distance now.

When my mom is fine and I can stop worrying about her, I'll let myself fall.

Not until then.

In the meantime, I'll have to work on Marina, convince her that becoming involved with Jon is not a terrible idea.

That's going to be a real challenge.

I visit my mom at the hospital and spell my dad for a couple of hours while he goes home and showers. Then I head back to work for the first time since I left with Jon for our meeting at the Pentagon.

My staff welcome me back and offer their words of comfort for my mother's health and recovery, and I finally make it back into my office after about fifteen minutes of it. I’m just getting settled back behind my desk and opening my laptop when Jon comes in.

He plops down on the chair across from me, a thermos of coffee in his hand.

"How's your mom?"

"Better," I say and describe how she's improving and will be moved to the neurology ward later in the day. "I'll probably go up after six and spend a few hours up there, so no working late for me tonight, I'm afraid."

Jon nods. "Take whatever time you need. We're managing without you – barely."

He smiles. I realize he means that as a compliment and wants me to know that I'm an indispensable part of the executive team. My staff can hold up my end for a few days.

"Thanks." I turn back to my laptop and the reports I have to review. "Maybe we should meet in an hour and go over what I've missed. Right now, I need to check my email and go over a few things."

He nods. "Okay," he says, and leaves me, closing the door behind him.

I sigh and turn my attention, such as it is, towards my email. I've read some of them from my external access, but haven't really answered any. Now I have work to do, and it's a welcome relief from worries about my mother.

After about an hour of work, I get a fresh cup of coffee from the staff room. Liza, one of our employees, comes up to me and offers her personal well-wishes for my mother.

"Jon told us all about it, how he wished he could have come back with you on the plane but he missed it. That must have been so nerve-wracking for you, not to have him with you. You must have been beside yourself."

"I was, but I was glad to get home as fast as possible."

"I think it's so sweet that you two are finally getting together."

I frown. "Who told you that?"

She shrugs. "I thought it was common knowledge. I hope you're not mad at me for mentioning it."

"Did Jon say something?"

She shakes her head. "No, but he really didn’t have to. We already know."

"What do you think you know?"

"I'm sorry." She blanches, and now I think she's worried that I'll get mad at her for talking about something personal. "I didn’t realize you didn’t want people to know…"

"You all assumed that we were a couple?"

She nods and stirs her coffee. "Yeah. We all assumed you were together but wanted to keep it quiet at work. Then Grant said—" She bites her lip and I realize that Grant has spilled the beans and demanded they all keep it secret.

"Grant told you we're together."

She steps away. "Don't tell Jon I told you or he'll get in so much trouble. He said Jon would fire him if he knew."

"Don't worry," I say with a sigh. "I won't say anything to Jon. But please, don't make a big deal about this. We're not together, okay? The business is the most important thing and we don't want to risk that."

She nods and leaves the coffee room. I stand there and fume a bit.

I return to my office and pass Jon's office. His door is open and he's busy on the phone. When he sees me, he smiles and waves.

I nod and close the damn door.

I don't want to give him any ideas.