Chapter Thirty-Three
Lucy
“Can you believe it? He’s taking me camping.”
I couldn’t stop smiling. Jason had surprised me with a romantic weekend to ourselves, and there was something very exciting about it. Out of all the times I’d been camping, going in the middle of the winter was something I hadn’t experienced before. Usually, I went camping during the hunting seasons and came back with coolers of smaller animals to store in my freezer.
But this camping trip would be romantic. It would be just the two of us, huddled for warmth beside a fire, staring up at the stars over the lake, while possibly fishing a time or two. It was low key, private, and the perfect way for us to keep moving forward after everything that had happened between us recently.
“Look, I’m glad you two patched things up, and you get to keep getting some or whatever, but camping? Really?”
Bri had absolutely no idea why I wanted to go camping in the middle of winter. To her, it was wet and cold, and she couldn’t imagine how anything could possibly be fun if someone was wet and cold.
“The outdoors aren’t your thing, and I get it. But they’re my thing. And Jason’s thing, too. It’s gonna be fun.”
“You and I have a very different definition of fun,” Bri said. “Why don’t you coast off to a tropical beach somewhere and sip alcohol on the soft sand?”
“Because sand in my butt crack doesn’t seem like an appealing idea,” I said.
“But it’s warm. And you can wear a skimpy little bathing suit that’ll drive that man wild.” She grinned triumphantly as if that idea were a winner.
“I don’t have a skimpy bathing suit.” I sank her idea without an iota of guilt.
“I’d help you buy one,” she said.
“And anyway, who’s gonna pay for the airline tickets and the hotel? You coming up with that kind of money?” I asked.
“If it’ll get your head out of the woods, then yes,” she said.
“Well, I’m looking forward to it,” I said, giggling. “And anyway, we went camping as kids.”
“I hated every second of it,” she said.
“What do you mean you hated it? We ran around and chased squirrels and swam in the lakes and made tons of friends doing that,” I said.
“Yeah, and I got bit by a spider that put me in the hospital, I woke up with my hair infested with ants, and a bat got tangled in my shirt one time.”
“Well, had you worn your bug repellant and stopped running off in the middle of the night with boys, it would’ve been an enjoyable experience,” I said.
“The boys were the only good part about camping!”
Whatever. I’d almost put money on her losing her virginity while camping, and I told her as much, fully expecting a sheepish grin from her.
“Nope. Lost my virginity to a boy I met while camping, though.”
That was good enough for me. “See? Had you not gone camping, you wouldn’t have found him.”
“He was the worst in bed,” she said.
“Your first time is always the worst.”
“Was yours the worst?” she asked.
“Honestly? My first time was David,” I said.
“What?”
She looked surprised, but I don’t know why. It wasn’t too big of a leap to assume I was a virgin when I’d met David.
“Yep. David and I had sex about five months into our relationship, and that was my first time. I was so scared to do it with him that I cried while he was taking my clothes off.”
“Oh, my gosh. You were a terrible lay, Luce,” she said.
“Well, I’d like to think I’ve gotten better since then.”
“Hopefully. That hunk of man meat you’ve got on your arm now deserves some good pussy,” she said.
“Anyway,” I chose to ignore the coarse language I’d grown accustomed to from her, “the camping trip will be romantic for us. Not for you—I get it—but you’re not going on it, so it doesn’t matter.”
“And I’m hurt I wasn’t invited,” she said.
“Tough titties,” I said.
“Will you guys at least have showers?” she asked.
“Nope, unless we wanna risk hypothermia in the lake.”
“How in the world is that romantic? You’ll smell like a trucker by the time you come back.”
“But getting away from all that stuff is cathartic, you know? Getting away from all the mirrors and the shampoos and the smells and the sounds, it really clears the mind. You’d be surprised how much all that shit doesn’t matter when you remove yourself from it.”
“Deodorant doesn’t matter?” she asked.
“And plus, it is gonna be cold. We aren’t gonna be sweating up a storm, so we won’t come back stinking too bad.”
“Luce, if you’re going on a camping trip that’s gonna be freezing, and you aren’t sweating up a storm to keep warm, then you’re keeping warm all wrong,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows.
“I’m looking forward to it.”
“I know you are,” she said.
“You know, I haven’t been camping since David.”
“I know,” she said.
“It’ll be the first time I’ve been camping with someone who wasn’t David in eight years, honestly.”
“How do you feel about that?” she asked.
I thought about it for a second while I clasped the last of my homemade apple cider in my hand. I was excited about the trip—especially after everything Jason and I had just endured—but I was a little wary about it. Part of the appeal of going camping with David was that I knew I could abandon all those philosophies on showers and makeup and how I looked. I was able to really get one-on-one time with nature as well as myself, and there was a lot of self-discovery that took place when I had gone camping alongside him.
That, and I lost my virginity to him while camping, but I wasn’t telling Bri that.
Jason was different territory. With everything that had traversed between us, I couldn’t say I was back to trusting him yet and still be truthful. I cared about him, and in a twisted sort of light, I could see how he had been trying to spare me. I guess. But he did it in a really shitty way that crumbled my world. My guardrail was slowly coming back up while I tried to protect myself from suffering that pain again, and I was hoping this camping trip would help with that.
I was hoping this camping trip would help me trust him again. But we were gonna have a serious problem if he thought I was showering over the weekend.
“While I find the entire thing disgusting as hell and not relaxing at all, I’m glad the two of you are going on this trip,” she said.
“Thanks. I’m excited about it,” I said.
“When are you guys leaving?” she asked.
“Friday. Coming back Sunday. Just a small little weekend.”
“You think it might put you in a romantic mood?” she asked.
I wasn’t about to tell her I’d already slept with Jason again. That meant I’d have to bring up the doctor’s appointment and everything that had happened, and I wasn’t ready to pick that apart with her just yet.
“I’m hoping so. I miss that closeness with him,” I said.
“But you’re guarded.”
“How do you know I’m guarded?” I asked. There she went again, reading minds.
“Anyone would be, after what happened between you. And I want you to know that, if anything happens on this trip, all you need to do is call me. I’ll come get you in a heartbeat.”
“I’m not taking my phone,” I said.
“Then take it. Charge it up, turn it off, and have it if you need to get in touch with me,” she said.
“But that kills the whole—”
“I’m not sending you out into the wilderness with a man who broke your heart two weeks ago without a way to contact me if he goes psycho. Take it, or I’m marching over there to talk to him myself.”
“Fine, fine, fine. I’ll take it. But, it’s gonna be off unless I need it. And hidden away. Out of sight. Period.”
“That’s fine. Just remember where you put it. You’re shit at that kind of stuff,” she said.
“You’re a dick,” I said, giggling.
Bri reached over and took my hand, and that’s when her face got somber. I felt something flutter in my stomach, something deep-seated and vulnerable. It wasn’t often that my sister got up close and personal, so when she took your hand, it really was something to perk up and pay attention to.
And I was all eyes and ears.
“I’m really glad you and Jason worked things out, Luce,” she said. “I also support anything that puts you in a romantic mood. But I need you to understand something.”
“What’s up, sis?” I asked.
“What he did to you, no matter how much he did it for you, was wrong. And if he pulls some shit again, you won’t be able to talk me down from confronting him. You’re my sister. My sister who’s talking more freely about her late husband. Who’s allowing me to call her by a nickname she hasn’t been able to listen to since her late husband. He’s doing you a great deal of good, and I won’t let him rip that away from you.”
“I hear you,” I said, clasping her hand. “Loud and clear.”
“I love you,” she said.
“I love you, too.”