Charlotte was surprised, but happy, to see Jen at the front desk of the Stag. Today she had her dark—almost blue-black—hair curled into waves around her head, and she wore a pretty yellow dress that brought out the vibrancy in the tattoos on her shoulder. She really was a strikingly beautiful woman, and she could pull off a bright-red lipstick like nobody’s business.
“Working on a Wednesday?” Charlotte asked.
Jen spread her arms out to encompass the desk and counter. “My new domain. At least until Tara returns.”
“Really? That’s wonderful, and I’m sure the guys appreciate the help.”
“Yeah. So far it’s been great, but it’s only been a few weeks. I’m better at it than I thought I’d be, though. I like working with brides and talking about their weddings. Even the distillery side of things is kind of fun.”
“Good for you. What will you do when Tara comes back?”
A shadow passed over Jen’s face. “Not really sure yet. Guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.”
“How long is Tara’s maternity leave once she delivers?”
“Twelve weeks. So I have a while to enjoy it.”
Charlotte pulled a small stack of paper-clipped documents out of her bag and laid them on the counter. “I just needed to drop off a few things for Dean to sign. I put stickies on each one indicating where he needs to fill something out and sign. Basically they’re cancel contracts for the wedding. And the envelope contains several of his deposit checks and some cash that was refunded.”
“They were willing to refund? That’s nice.”
“It is, especially since most of the deposits were contractually nonrefundable. But under the circumstances and the fact that we’re in the wedding community I think they were happy to do this for him. And Alex.”
“Poor Alex.” Jen shook her head.
Charlotte had only one experience with loss, her unborn child. She could only imagine the suffering Alex was going through. But she did know well what it was like to think your life was headed in one happy direction, only to have that all ripped away.
“Has, uh … Dean been in?” she found herself asking, instantly wishing she hadn’t.
“Actually he’s here now. Want me to get him, you could give him these—”
“No, no. That’s okay. I have to run.”
“Charlotte?”
Oh God.
Charlotte’s stomach fluttered at the sound of his voice. Part of her wanted to run out the front door and pretend she hadn’t heard him. The other wanted to turn and head straight for his arms and beg him to explain why he’d shut her out. Trying to be strong, she turned and feigned indifference. Unsure if she would be convincing.
“Hey. How are you?”
He seemed a little surprised and unnerved by her smile. “I’ve been better. What are you doing here?”
Funny how a few weeks ago she’d just shown up to show him décor, or talk about a vendor choice, but now it was so awkward.
“I actually just dropped off some papers for you to sign.”
“And you were going to leave without saying hi?”
Really? Her head jerked back the slightest bit, jaw dropping. She knew by the expression on his face that he could read her irritation at that comment.
“Can we talk for a minute?” He motioned for the conference room. She knew there was no way she could go in there, remembering them kissing in that room, laughing, planning.
“Actually it’s not a good time. I’m on my way to a shoot.” That wasn’t completely a lie, but it didn’t really start for an hour.
“Oh. What kind?”
Did she mistake the tightening in his jaw, or the way he shoved his hands in his pockets a little too hard? God, he looked so good today. His hair had grown a little overlong and he really should have shaved this morning, but his skin was slightly more tanned than the last time she’d seen him, and the oxford shirt he wore made his shoulders look especially broad.
“It’s actually another book cover shoot. I’ve booked a lot of them over the past few weeks. Kind of exciting.”
“Hmm. Good for you. If you enjoy it.”
“I do.”
His eyes narrowed a bit, and he shifted his feet. “Well then, can we get together afterward? I just … we haven’t really been able to talk lately.”
She frowned, no longer capable of holding up the pretense. “Actually, I’ve been very available to talk. You just haven’t wanted me.”
Dean’s eyes darted toward the front desk, his jaw clinching. “Charlotte…”
“Am I wrong?” she said, looking him square in the eye.
His sigh left her worried about what his response might be. When he hesitated, she suddenly felt weak. This was it. He would tell her he was sorry but they were officially over.
“Don’t answer that actually.” She put up a hand. “I need to go.”
Turning around, she didn’t even glance at Jen as she rushed for the door. Her eyes were stinging as she stepped outside.
“Charlotte, stop,” his voice called behind her.
With a groan, she wiped under her eyes and then turned. “What do you possibly need to say to me?”
Dean stopped short on the sidewalk. “First of all, I need to say I’m an asshole. I haven’t handled things well, but … I’ve had a lot going on.”
“Yeah. You have. And I guess I thought it might have been my place to help you with that. But if not, that really tells me all I need to know.”
“I deserve your anger. But…” His lips clamped shut, the light breeze blowing the hair on his neck. “Please come to my place tonight. Have dinner with Alex and me.”
Charlotte’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Did you hear anything I just said?”
“Yes, damn it.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t blame you for being angry, and you probably won’t believe me, but I was going to call and ask you over tonight anyway. You just showed up here before I could.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “The only reason I’m even considering it is because I would like to meet Alexis. How is she doing?”
He let out a sigh. “She’s doing the best she can. One hour she’s able to smile, and the next she goes to her room and cries.”
The sadness in his tone reminded Charlotte of what he’d been dealing with. Did he deserve her understanding? A little, but he’d said it best: He also deserved her anger. The person who deserved her sympathy was his sister.
“Every day it will get better. One day she’ll get through a full day and realize she didn’t cry. And then she’ll feel guilty. Tell her that’s okay.”
Dean stared at her a long moment. Then he slowly stepped a little closer as his hand reached up and touched her jaw so quickly, it was almost a whisper. “I’ve missed you.”
Charlotte swallowed, not sure what to think about what was happening. Her thoughts were fractured, uncertain, and she didn’t trust what she was feeling in that moment. She smiled and shook her head the slightest bit. “Please don’t confuse me, Dean. I’ll text you when I’m done with my shoot.”
Dean’s brow furrowed and he nodded. “Are you going alone? I hope it’s nowhere unsafe.”
“It will be fine. I’ll see you later.” She turned, wanting out of there before she did something stupid, like talk about how much she’d missed him. Admit that she wasn’t sure what he wanted from her now.
“Charlotte,” Dean called out as she pulled open her car door.
She turned. “Yes?”
“No couple photos.”
Staring at him, she lifted her eyebrow. “I’ll try not to.”
His eyes went wide at her response but she just got in her car and drove off. It felt good.
* * *
Dean was still nervous that Charlotte might not show up, although he’d told Alexis she was coming. His sister had been so excited, she’d offered to help him make dinner. That alone was a positive outcome. The past hour they’d hung out in the kitchen together, making pasta sauce, mixing, and layering together a lasagna recipe that Alex had found on the Internet. It had been like therapy for both of them. She’d even laughed a couple of times, although that faraway look often clouded her eyes.
He knew it would take a long time for her to get over Nate, but he hated that there was nothing he could do to make it easier for her.
Dean’s phone chimed on the kitchen table, and Alex darted over to get it. Picking it up, she straightened. “It’s her. She said she’s just cleaning up and will be here in about twenty.”
Dean sucked in a breath of relief. And happiness. “Okay. That’s perfect, the timer says ten minutes.”
“Then we have to let it sit for twenty.”
“In the pan?” he asked.
“Yeah, I guess it helps it hold together. We can start with the salad and wine.”
Dean looked around and nodded. “Okay. Whatever you say.”
He’d left work right after Charlotte had driven away so he could go home and prepare. He’d called Alex to tell her and she’d immediately taken to the Internet for a recipe. Dean had run to the grocery store because although she was up for the dinner, Alex still hadn’t wanted to leave the house. Baby steps, he figured. Although if she didn’t leave eventually he’d have to try something. She hadn’t stepped outside in over a week. Maybe more.
Alex went off to her room to change and Dean went into his own room to grab a new shirt. The one he’d been wearing had acquired a nice tomato sauce stain. Not long after that they set out the salad and wine, and Alex pulled the dish out of the oven.
“I’m glad you did this,” she said as she put the bread in the oven. “It’s kind of taken my mind off myself for a while.”
“Good, I’m happy to hear that.” Dean ruffled her hair and she scowled at him. Those moments gave him some hope that Alex would someday be back to her old self.
When a knock sounded at the door, Alex stiffened. “We didn’t discuss how we’re going to do this.”
“Well, she’ll come in and I’ll introduce you.”
“Oh yeah. Of course.” She shook her head and followed Dean into the living room. “Should I stand? Sit?”
Dean turned to her, laughing. This was so unlike her. Maybe it was because she’d never witnessed him with any other woman but Amy. “Alexis. Chill the hell out.”
He opened the door to find the most beautiful woman he’d ever known standing on his stoop. The sun was just now meeting the treetops, and her hair glowed in the golden light. It made him think of the night they’d made out next to the old Harley. The night everything changed.
“Hey, come in.” Dean stood back so she could pass him and couldn’t help inhaling her delicious scent.
“Hi, you must be Alex. I feel like I know you.” Dean watched in awe and a deep feeling of painful satisfaction as Charlotte walked right over to his sister, without him saying a word, and gave her a long, tight hug.
He didn’t mistake the quiet sound of Alex sniffling against Charlotte, but before he could apologize or say anything, Charlotte spoke first, a hint of tears in her voice.
“I’m so sorry we have to meet under these circumstances. I’d have much rather been able to show you all the beautiful things we’d planned for you both in person.”
Oh no. Dean cringed as Alex cried harder, squeezing this woman she’d never met before. Charlotte only rocked from side to side gently, patting Alex’s back. And Dean stood there completely dumbfounded and helpless.
“Since that isn’t possible, I brought you a gift,” Charlotte said quietly. “Can I show you?”
Alex pulled back, nodding her head as she reached for the one of three rolls of toilet paper she used to blow her nose, scattered around the living room. One was always near her.
Charlotte sat down on the sofa and patted the cushion next to her. Alex sat immediately, and Dean walked a few steps closer since both of the women had forgotten his existence in that moment.
Pulling a square-shaped, flat box from her bag, Charlotte laid it in Alex’s lap but didn’t take her hand off the top. “I don’t know if you want to look at this yet. But someday you might. Throughout the planning, I took photos with my phone. They’re not great, as I’d mainly done it for referencing and planning. But I’ve assembled them and had them put in this album. The food, the flowers, the venue, the … places I wanted to take you for portraits. All in here. It would have been a beautiful day, and I wanted you to know what it would have been like. You should know.”
Dean held his breath, wondering how Alex would react. Was this a good idea? Wouldn’t it have been better to just pretend the wedding had never been planned at all?
When Alex went still, looking down at the box and sliding her finger across the ribbon on top, Dean felt his heart sink. “Charlotte—”
“Can I look now?” Alex looked up at Dean. “Is that okay?”
“Are you sure, Alex?” Dean asked.
“Yes. I want to. I need to.”
He glanced to Charlotte, who nodded. “Okay. Open it.” He walked over and sat down on the sofa beside Charlotte. He could barely keep himself from touching her.
They watched as Alex slowly untied the ribbon, opened the box, and pulled out a small album. It was no bigger than five inches square and it had the words ALEXIS & NATE written in the middle of the cover. At the sight of it, Alex lifted her fingers to her mouth and just stared for a long moment.
Finally, she glanced over at Charlotte and gave a teary smile. “I already love it.”
“I’m glad,” Charlotte whispered, and in that moment Dean could no longer help himself. He leaned forward and placed his lips against her head, just behind her temple. He felt her stiffen, but then slowly she leaned against him, pressing her body back toward his. In that moment, he’d never loved her more.
He loved her.
There was no denying it. He was in love with Charlotte and he wanted to give her everything he possibly had to offer. He would do whatever he could to make her happy, if she’d let him.
They watched as Alex flipped through the pages. The first was of the Stag, then a close-up of a plate of chicken piccata.
“It looks delicious,” Alex said.
“It was,” Dean said, remembering how Charlotte had fed it to him.
She oohed and ahhed at the images of the flower shop and the close-ups of varieties they’d chosen. Dean and Charlotte talked about each visit a bit, sharing details about the owners. Charlotte had included a picture of the cake samples and another close-up of the one they’d chosen. To the side was written the flavors of the cake and fillings and even a photo of the inspiration cake they’d liked in the photo album at Jill’s house.
There were photos of the decorations and centerpieces that Charlotte had been assembling at her house, some of which Dean hadn’t even seen. Then outdoor photos of scenery where Charlotte had planned to take their photos. One was a beautiful field full of wildflowers and the other a scenic path that led toward a forest.
Then Alex turned to the last page. It was a selfie of Charlotte in the dressing room of the bridal shop.
“I know that’s weird. I cropped out my head, but…”
“I love it,” Alex whispered. “I love it so much.”
“Amy chose it,” Charlotte said. “She did a wonderful job.”
Dean watched intently as Alexis ran her fingers over the photo. She didn’t cry this time, just stared. Finally, she turned to Charlotte. “It looks beautiful on you. Doesn’t it, Dean?”
“Of course. I saw it in person. She looked … amazing.” And she had. More beautiful than he’d ever seen her. He wished that moment hadn’t ended the way it had, with him in a daze of pain and fear.
“This is the best gift ever, Charlotte. Thank you so much, for agreeing to plan my wedding, and for this. It means everything.”
“I’m glad.”
The smell of burning garlic got Alex’s attention and she jumped up. “The bread. Let’s get in here and eat.” She ran into the kitchen, leaving them alone.
Instead of getting up, Charlotte turned and faced Dean on the couch.
“How did you know?” Dean whispered.
A sad smile formed on her mouth. “I know it’s not quite the same, but … when I miscarried, no one but John knew. Not my mother, not my friends, no one. And it was painful. Sometimes I wanted to grieve openly. I wanted to talk about what my baby might have looked like. What I might have named her. What might have been but never would be. I think sometimes you have to embrace the loss. Honor what you’ll never have by speaking of it. I just hoped Alex might feel the same.”
“I guess I’ve been doing it all wrong then. I’ve made it a point not to talk about Nate at all unless she did first. I didn’t want to hurt her.”
“It’s a natural response. You want to protect her. But you might give her opportunities to share. I think it’s healing to get it out.”
Dean reached up and touched her hair. “You’re something else, Charlotte.”
“Dinner’s ready,” Alex called from the kitchen.
“You hungry?” Dean asked. “We made it together.”
Charlotte’s eyes widened. “I’m impressed, and yes, also starving. Photographing young, half-naked men works up an appetite.”