I roll over to an empty bed. I stare up at the ceiling, sulking and feeling completely embarrassed and humiliated.

“Morning, sunshine,” Evan says as he stands in the doorway of my bedroom with a cup of coffee in his hand. “Jack left you a note.”

I push myself up and rest my back against the headboard with a yawn as I motion for him to hand over the mug. My body is stiff, and I feel like I spent the night at the gym instead of in bed with the man I love. “Gimme that coffee and the note I’m sure you’ve read.”

“I was hoping I’d find his fine ass in your bed.” He pouts as he enters and sits on the edge of my bed, but he finally hands me the cup when I glare at him. “Did you tell him?”

I take a sip and read the note, blinking a few times because I’m still groggy. Relief washes over me as I read Jack’s words. “I didn’t tell him.”

I’m filled with guilt over not telling Jack the one thing he needs to know. The one thing that could change everything between us. I don’t want to ruin this before we even get started, but he deserves to know. I would want to be told.

Evan pats my legs through the blanket and smiles lopsidedly. “You’ll tell him when it’s time.”

“I tried, Evan. God, I tried, but he didn’t want to hear it.”

“Sometimes it’s better to leave shit in the past. You said you tried. What more can you do?”

I sigh into my mug. “He needs to know.”

“Suit yourself, princess. Get up and get showered. We have to be at the cemetery this afternoon.”

Fuck.

How it completely slipped my mind that today is my father’s funeral is beyond me. I let myself get lost in Jack and pushed everything out of my mind. It didn’t help that I’m so angry with my father that not even I want to attend his interment.

“Plus, you don’t need to look like a well-used streetwalker in front of the town.”

I gape at him in horror. “I do not look like that.”

He pushes off the bed and stops in the doorway, looking back at me as he holds the door. “Have a look in the mirror, and then tell me you don’t look like you’ve had a night of fantastic sex.” He winks at me, and I roll my eyes, my cheeks flaming with heat, remembering the fantastic sex he speaks of. It was amazing.

When he leaves, I finally climb out of bed and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Shit. My hair’s a mess, basically a bird’s nest, with pieces sticking straight up in the air. My mascara is smeared down my cheeks and has settled nicely under my eyes to give me that I-didn’t-sleep-a-wink-last-night, raccoon appearance. Even my lips are swollen and pinker than usual. Evan was right. I look exactly like a worn-out hooker.

Even though no one is going to come, I still need to make myself presentable. With my luck, half the town will show up and start talking about me and my new appearance. It’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a warm shower and a lot of makeup.

An hour later, I’m downstairs in my nicest black dress and matching heels, with my hair in a smooth bun and a thick coating of makeup on my face.

“Do you want to read his obituary?” Evan asks as I enter the kitchen even though he already knows the answer.

I pour myself another cup of coffee into the mug that I carried down from upstairs. “Is all the information correct?” My back is to him as I speak.

I’m on edge and getting crankier as the minutes tick by. The cemetery is the last place I want to be today. There are too many memories, and ghosts will haunt me. I wish I could skip it altogether. I can’t do that, though. I must be an adult and handle my business.

“Yep.”

I shrug, closing my eyes as I take a sip of the coffee. “I don’t need to see it.”

“Can you handle this today?”

I turn slowly, staring at my best friend, and lean against the counter. Could I handle this? I really don’t have any other option. I’ve been to the cemetery dozens of times, and today won’t be unlike the others.

“With you by my side, I can handle anything,” I tell Evan with a bittersweet smile.

He gets up off the stool and rounds the island to stand in front of me. He places his hands on my arms, slowly stroking my skin to comfort me. “I won’t leave your side, babe. I’m all yours. Anything you want, you got it. I’m always here for you.”

I place my coffee cup on the counter and rest my head against his chest before wrapping my arms around his middle. “Thank you, Evan. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Jack,” he says with a little laughter as I punch him in the stomach. “Did you have fun last night, at least?”

“What do you think?” I grin as I back away from him and grab the coffee from the counter.

“Looks like you had a better time than me.”

“Oh, no. What happened? Hot doc not so hot?” I raise an eyebrow because I want to know the details. I need him to ramble on about anything except where we’re headed. Death is the last thing I want to discuss.

“He’s about as exciting as a piece of toast.” Evan rolls his eyes. “The man doesn’t even eat dessert. Who doesn’t eat dessert? It’s unnatural.” He shakes his head and scoffs.

My nose scrunches. “Oh, shit. He’s definitely not a keeper.”

He shakes his head in disgust. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t appreciate a great cupcake or even a cookie, for shit’s sake. I had to listen to his speech about how sugar is bad for your body.”

I laugh softly, trying not to make a mockery of his date or his obsession with baked goods. This is the reason I love Evan. Not because of his inability to pass up a cupcake, but because of his joy for life. Even the smallest things bring him happiness, and he’s taught me to savor the small stuff because everything could end in an instant. Life has taught me that.

“Kurt lectured me the entire time I ate my red velvet for dessert. I wanted to reach over the table and smack him.” His hands animate the motion. I try not to laugh, but Evan is so comical.

“Did you leave him at the restaurant? I didn’t hear you come in last night.”

“Nah, I figured after I listened to all his bullshit, I’d at least let him suck my cock for the hassle he put me through.”

I gape at him, unsure if he’s lying or not. “Seriously? Evan! You did not.” I can’t fight my laughter this time. He’s terrible.

“Uh, yeah. You listen to that bullshit for a half hour and not want something out of it. At least he gave decent head.”

I’m still gaping at him. I shouldn’t be in shock. This is Evan, and I shouldn’t expect anything less from the man. “Well, are you going to call him again?”

“Only if I need my cock sucked. Other than that, he can fuck off and find some health nut that doesn’t consume sugar for sheer pleasure. I don’t have time for that in my life. Fuck that, Evie. No time for that unnecessary bullshit.”

As I finally regain my composure and take another sip of coffee instead of gawking at him, I say, “You’re harsh.”

“Says the woman who’s been pining over her high school sweetheart for six years.”

It’s my turn to roll my eyes. “You know why I haven’t moved on.”

“You’re still in love with him. I get it. Just have the balls to go after him and be done with it.”

“We have history.”

“It’s in the past. Jack wants your future. You deserve to be happy. Jack makes you happy.”

I sigh loudly and place my coffee cup in the sink because I’m done with this conversation, and it’s getting late. “Ready to go?”

“We’re not done with this conversation. I want all the details about last night.” Evan grabs the keys from the counter and walks toward the door.

I follow behind him and check my reflection in the mirror one more time before I head out to the porch and then climb into the rental car. “There’s not much to tell.”

“You’re not getting off that easy.”

I spend the next ten minutes going into detail after Evan harasses me for more than I want to share. He doesn’t only want to know about Jack’s size, but shape, girth, and everything.

“Damn, girl. You better hold on to that one,” he says after I lay it all out.

“I don’t know, Evan. I haven’t told him anything yet. I know he’s going to freak out. I don’t think my heart can handle losing him again.”

The very thought of never seeing Jack again makes my chest ache. I survived for six years without him, but it wasn’t easy. Now that he’s back in my life, even in a small way, I can’t imagine never seeing him again. Especially not after last night. We had chemistry. Our bodies knew what to do, and he was right that this time was so much better than when we were teenagers.

“He’ll be okay, Evie. Trust me. When someone loves you like he does, he’ll look to the future instead of the past.”

I stare out the window as we pull into the cemetery. I hope Evan is right. The only two people I have left in this world that I love are him and Jack. I can’t imagine losing another person and surviving.

My heart beats erratically as we pass by the row where my family plot sits. My palms begin to sweat, and I rub them together out of nervousness. Yesterday, I felt on top of the world in Jack’s arms, and today, there’s a dark cloud hanging above me that makes all the happiness of yesterday evaporate.

When he learns what happened, he may never look at me again. All I will be left with are the memories. I don’t want that. I want him.