Elle
I slept better than I had in a long while. There was something about being wrapped up in a man’s strong arms that was inherently soothing. Not that I would tell my tall, dark, and handsome bedfellow. In fact, I was working hard to be completely blasé when it came to him. No easy task.
I’d spent all night dreaming of Ciaran naked. Of how those wide hands gripped and squeezed my ass the day before. Of how he’d rubbed his considerable length against me until my center was all but throbbing with need. There was no denying that I wanted him. And I was sure he’d picked up on it. But that didn’t mean I’d admit it aloud. Whatever my physical body craved, I was stronger than that.
Okay, I had that one weak moment with the kiss, but could anyone blame me? He was hot, naked, and one hell of a kisser.
My eyes drifted to where he was pulling on his shirt. His muscles rippled sexily with the motion, making my insides squirm. He’d slept only in his sweats and I’d had to demand that of him. It was the only way I was getting into bed and snuggling up next to him for the night. Which was probably not true. If he’d pushed just a little harder…well, I’d probably have caved. Like, instantly. I had just barely resisted his charms and found myself disappointed and pleased when he didn’t push me. Oh, sure, he teased and suggested, but I didn’t feel as though he was going to push until I felt like I had no choice.
Coercion was not cool. He didn’t know it, but it bumped up his points a few notches. And he was already scoring pretty high.
“You’re sure I can’t talk you out of this?” he called over his shoulder as he pulled the hem of his sweater down over his shirt, unrolling it until it covered about half of his ass, which was very nice to look at it.
“I’m sure,” I told him firmly, though really I wasn’t thrilled with this plan.
He’d told me last night that he was going to hike out of here. Through the snow. Beyond the trees. Down a winding, unkempt road. All to catch a ride with a perfect stranger in the hopes that said stranger would give him a lift into town. And that was assuming he could even find anyone who was driving out at this point. I’d been taking a back way when I ran into Ciaran. What were the odds someone else was doing the same? That we’d catch them at just the right time?
I sighed. No, I definitely didn’t like this plan. But what choice did I have?
If he was going, I was, too. I was being honest when I said I felt responsible for him. It was my fault he was here, whether under the best of intentions or not. Which meant if he got stuck here and missed whatever it was that was so damn important, I would feel awful. Sure, I was almost positive I’d saved his life, but didn’t something somewhere say that saving someone’s life actually meant they were your charge?
I didn’t know if that was true, but it felt true right then. Besides, he’d already passed out twice trying to dig out my car. He’d been feverish on and off over the last couple of days. If I let him go by himself, there was no telling what would happen to him.
And my car’s not going anywhere anytime soon anyway, I reminded myself so I knew this wasn’t just because of Ciaran. This was for me, too. I couldn’t stay here forever, and since my cell wasn’t working, I’d eventually have to do the same thing Ciaran was planning anyway. Otherwise, I’d have to spend half the winter here!
No. I was definitely going.
I insisted we pack some of the stale, kind of gross crackers, a bottle of water, and a can of soup we wouldn’t be able to heat up.
“You know if we get lost out there, this isn’t going to help,” Ciaran said, holding the can and lifting his eyebrows pointedly.
I snatched it back from him. “You never know. It might.”
“It’s not that far to the main highway.”
I ignored him and stuffed the can into a small sack I had found earlier in the cabin. It looked like it was used as a laundry bag or something, but it would do for now. “Just remember you said that when we’re being chased by wolves and are sitting in the wilderness at midnight, cold and freezing.”
He laughed and my body shuddered in response. He’s not sexy; he’s not sexy. But of course he was. Dangerously sexy. I could tell from the way he looked and the way he moved that there was a streak of dangerous in him that I shouldn’t have been attracted to—but I was. It tugged at me from the inside out and drew me closer even when I knew I should be pulling away.
Damn sexy man, I thought ruefully. “Let’s get going already,” I said, because the cabin suddenly felt much too small. And I thought the snow might cool down my sudden, burning need.
He smiled at me knowingly, then winked. “Feeling a little anxious to get started all of a sudden?”
“Do you want to go or not?”
He nodded and we headed out. I left a note for whoever owned the place, explaining what had happened. I gave them my cell number, too, so I could offer to pay for the soups and the wood and whatever else. It was probably going to cost a fortune and I’d have to set up a payment plan, but I was hopeful they would be lenient with me since I was being upfront about it.
We headed out into the cold. It was one of those mornings where the sky was clear and blue, looking deceptively warm, but the air was frigid. The snow was almost hip deep still and I was grateful we hadn’t gotten much more since the last time I’d gone out. It meant there was still somewhat of a path towards my car from before, but beyond that it was time to forge a new pathway.
I pulled my layers closer to my body, holding myself around the middle in an effort to keep in my core heat. Ciaran seemed to be handling it better than myself, not even shivering despite not having a coat over his sweater and only a t-shirt beneath. I kept an eye on him to make sure he wasn’t going to pass out again.
And because he’s got a cute butt, I thought, eyeing the body part in question. He looked great in jeans.
We were silent as we trekked through the snow. I felt soaked before we even reached the car and it made me dread how I’d feel once we got to the damn road. I knew it was a ways away still. The drive down to this little resort area hadn’t been too long in all fairness, but I’d also been driving. That was going to make a walking version of that trip a hell of a lot longer. But I’d suffer through it. Didn’t have much choice now.
I watched Ciaran moving ahead of me. I was trying not to watch him while at the same time acknowledging that I could watch him in the open without him feeling cocky about it. His hair looked thick and a little gritty, tossed wildly about his head as though he just didn’t care about it. I wasn’t sure if that was just because we’d done barely more than rinse off or if he was just that cavalier about his hair. Either way, I admitted it looked good.
All of him looked good. His wide shoulders and his large biceps. The way his chest was almost carved as though from stone, then tapered down slowly to his trim waist. The way his jeans hung just a little low on his hips. And of course his butt looked good. Better than good.
I hoped he didn’t look back at me just then, because I was sure my face was flushed, my mind dropping to the gutter like rain water. I was thinking of the kinds of things a body like that could do to a woman like me. Sure, I didn’t want to just throw myself into bed with what amounted to just shy of a complete stranger, but I was also a woman. I had needs and wants and all kinds of things. And sometimes reason just didn’t factor into things like attraction.
But I’m not so stupid as to let it control me, I thought firmly. No matter how cute his butt is.
We made it past the office building quickly and started walking along the road towards the highway. At least, I thought we were walking on the road. While I was pretty sure Ciaran was right and they would have cleared the main roads, this one was clearly a mostly unused one. Likely it wasn’t maintained by the state and thus it was up to whoever owned this place to keep the roads clear. And since they weren’t here, it was obvious that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.
Which meant we were sloshing through heavy banks of snow, guessing by the way the trees grew to either side of it, where the road was. It was a miserable experience and I was shivering in my coats by the end of it. The only way I could even tell that Ciaran was cold was that he blew hot breath onto his hands a couple of times to warm them.
As we pushed forward, I decided conversation might keep my mind off of how cold my toes were. “What do you do, Ciaran?” I asked. I’d mentioned my desire to be a singer, my struggling career. It seemed like a safe topic.
He didn’t answer me, didn’t even glance back, and I thought maybe he hadn’t heard me. I was about to ask him again in a little bit louder voice when he called back, “Mostly I manage a parts shop.”
“That’s interesting,” I commented. Though I had little interest in cars myself, I appreciated them and the skill involved with working on them. “You said you have a motorcycle. Do you focus on that?”
He glanced back at me then, just barely, and seemed hesitant to continue with this line of questioning.
Odd. I would think this would be the safest kind of conversation.
“Yeah,” he said simply.
Frowning, I wondered where else to go with this. I didn’t want to stop talking, because then I’d focus on the cold again. I was tired of the cold already and it looked like we still had a ways to walk. “Um, is that why you’re in such a hurry to get back? This shop of yours?”
“Maybe I just don’t like the company,” he shot back at me.
My eyes widened and I couldn’t deny the hurt that suddenly and a little unreasonably welled up in my chest. I stopped walking. He didn’t seem to notice, or maybe he just didn’t care. What is with this guy? I wondered angrily. One moment he was all about getting me out of my clothes and the next he’s just sick and tired of me. What about all that cuddling? Was that really and truly just for warmth?
No way, I thought. When he’d gotten a half dozen paces ahead of me he finally realized I wasn’t behind him. He turned and looked back at me. “Are you coming?”
I pursed my lips together, because his voice was harsh and full of annoyance. It made me want to cry, which was stupid. It wasn’t like we were anything to each other. I was just feeling emotional and hormonal because I’d been trapped in that damn cabin with him. That was it.
I shook my head, not trusting my voice.
Ciaran glanced towards the road, then back towards me. I could see some kind of internal debate going on in his eyes, but I wasn’t sure what it was over. Probably whether or not just to leave my stupid ass, I thought angrily.
I was about to turn around and march back to the cabin to wait out the snow when he called out to me.
“I’m sorry,” he called.
I narrowed my eyes at him, not buying it. He looked contrite, but frustrated, too. Like my being there was really getting to him. “Don’t be,” I told him simply. “If it were that big of a deal, you could have just told me to stay.”
“I did,” he reminded me.
I gritted my teeth and spun on my heel. I started marching. If he didn’t want me here, if it was so terrible for him, well, then screw my feelings of responsibility towards him. What did I care if he froze to death our here? Or got sick again? Or got murdered by an axe wielding truck driver?
I didn’t.
“Wait,” he called. I heard the sounds of boots in the snow moving rapidly towards me. But I didn’t stop. I kept moving steadily ahead. “I said wait.” He reached me and caught my upper arm, spinning me around to face him. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. All of that did. I don’t want you sitting alone in that cabin with no one knowing you’re there, no one coming for you.”
I shook him off. “You don’t make a damn bit of sense, Ciaran. Last night you’re all over me and now you’re acting like I’ve got some contagious disease or something!”
He shook his head and ran a large hand through his thick hair. He grimaced. “I know. You just caught me off guard.”
“Off guard?” I repeated incredulously. “Was it just completely awful to have asked about your job? Your life? I told you about mine!”
“I know, I know,” he said, sounding apologetic, but there was still that underlying frustration. He let out a whoosh of air. “I just…I don’t want you to think I’m…oh hell. I don’t know. I don’t want you to think poorly of me. Like I’m just some asshole or crook or—”
“Because you’re a mechanic?” I blinked at him in surprise and confusion. I knew a lot of people thought mechanics were swindlers, but my brother had worked in a shop for a while, one of the longest jobs he’d managed to keep. He said they worked hard, did complicated mechanical things that most of us just couldn’t wrap our brains around, and a lot of it was hard labor to boot. He said that some of them could be real assholes and you had to be careful, but in the end they were charging fair prices for the kind of work they were doing. “Being a mechanic doesn’t make you a crook,” I told him honestly.
He hesitated. He looked like there was something he wanted to add, but then he just sighed and shook his head again. “I’m sorry. I just figured a pretty girl like you doesn’t want to deal with a grease monkey like me. I’ve been debating with myself over it since I woke up. You probably ought to steer clear of me, honey.”
I raised a single eyebrow at him. “I’m not a girl. I’m a woman.”
A slow smile spread across his face and he deliberately let his eyes fall to rake over my body. I couldn’t have possibly looked sexy in my worn through jeans and my layers of sweaters and a jacket. But he looked at me like he wanted to eat me. “All woman,” he confirmed, then winked at me.
I shook my head, but blushed. “Jeez. Think we could have conversations like this inside next time? I’m freezing out here!”
And with that I walked to catch up with him. Together, we went to the road. He was right: it was cleared off and salted. We had to wait close to another fifteen minutes, but eventually a truck came by and stopped for us. If I’d been by myself, I would have thought it was a terrible idea to get into that truck, but with Ciaran I felt safe. Maybe that was stupid. Maybe that was being unrealistic. But I couldn’t help the feeling.
And it’s too late to rethink it now.