Three Months Later

 

“I don’t understand! If she gets a referral, then it’s covered, so why can’t she get a referral?” Josephine made every attempt to keep her temper in check while she talked to the customer service department at her mother’s insurance provider.

 

“Ma’am, the specialist you want her to see is out-of-network, and since we have physicians in-network who provide the same services, we can’t authorize the visit with the out-of-network physician. It’s all spelled out in her plan book.”

 

Josephine counted to ten in her head and took another deep breath. All the calm breathing was starting to make her dizzy. “The doctor in her plan doesn’t perform the procedure that this specialist does. That’s the issue!”

 

“I’m sorry, but since she can see an oncologist within her plan, we can’t refer her out.”

 

“You’re sorry? My mother needs this surgery in order to save her life, but the doctor in your stupid network is still in training for the procedure, and you’re sorry?” It was rare for Josephine to lose her cool, but she’d been on the phone for hours trying to make people at the HMO understand what seemed like a simple issue to her.

 

“Okay,” the woman on the phone sighed, most likely as irritated with the conversation as Josephine was. “Here’s what we can do. We do a peer-to-peer review, which means the specialist you want her to see will have to speak to the physician here on staff to go over the procedure you’re talking about. If our physician agrees and the oncologist we have in network does not perform that procedure, we can give you an out-of-network referral. However, with the referral, the benefits will be different. Because he is out-of-network, the procedure and any services provided by him will only be covered at seventy percent, which means she will need to pay the remaining thirty percent out-of-pocket.”

 

A wave of relief washed through Josephine. “Okay, let’s do that.” Finally, some hope. The past three months had been hell on her mother. The chemo was making her sicker than a dog, the radiation made it worse, and, after the last round of tests, it was determined the tumor wasn’t responding the way the doctors had hoped. Her best option was to work with Dr. Leopold and his Gamma Knife treatment.

 

“Okay, here’s the number the doctor needs to call and the reference number he’ll need.”

 

Josephine jotted down the information and ended the call. She leaned back against the chair in her mom’s hospital room. She spent the last two days at the hospital since her mother had been so ill from the treatment.

 

Her own stomach started to twist, and the familiar wave of nausea hit her fast. She ran to the bathroom just in time to lose her breakfast. After washing her face and rinsing out her mouth, she looked at herself in the mirror. With disheveled hair and dark rings around her eyes, she looked awesome. Laughing at herself, she went back to her chair to wait for her mother to return from her MRI.

 

The door to the room was open, so she watched the people walk by. Two men wearing black leather vests with patches she recognized sauntered by, and her heart stopped cold. Lucas. The man hadn’t been far from her mind over the past three months. Every time she heard the rumbling of an engine, he flooded her mind.

 

They’d only spent one night together. Just sex—that’s what she had promised herself. But it had been anything but. The man was impossibly arrogant. He was a member of a bike club, and he was totally of limits to her. She worked a respectable job, had a mother to take care of, and in six months, a baby, too. She placed a hand on her belly. Not completely flat anymore but not rounded yet either, she could feel the evidence of their night together growing in her belly.

 

More times than she’d like to admit, she pulled up his contact information in her phone and stared at it. Just a little swipe of her finger and she’d be able to hear his voice, could talk to him. And tell him what? Her mother’s care was costing a fortune that she had no way to pay? That if it weren’t for her own insurance being so damn good, she wouldn’t be able to afford the prenatal care for the baby. That she considered herself a moron for pushing for a baby before taking a look at what the cost of her mother’s treatment was going to be? She’d told him no strings. She had been clear on that, promised him that she’d never ask him for anything. And she was going to stick to that promise.

 

“Hey!” Her mother’s soft voice tore her from her thoughts.

 

“Mom.” Josephine jumped from her chair and watched her mom’s bed being wheeled back in place. The nurses checked all the monitors and IVs and left them. “How’d it go?”

 

“Fine. They stuck me in a tube and left me there for an hour. I think I slept.” She smiled, but it was a paper-thin smile. Everything about her mom was thin. She’d lost too much weight; her hair didn’t make it past the first round of chemo. The once vibrant blue eyes had been replaced with somber gray tones.

 

“You hungry?”

 

“Nah.” She waved a hand through the air, then closed her eyes for a moment.

 

“You want to sleep?”

 

“No.” Her eyes flew open. “I want you to tell me how you’re feeling.” She poked a frail finger into Josephine’s belly. “How’s that baby treating you?”

 

“Still kicking out anything I eat.” Josephine gave a little laugh. When she told her mom about the baby, she had been worried she’d be upset. Without a husband or even a boyfriend, it wasn’t exactly the traditional thing to do. But her mom had been thrilled.

 

“That’ll last a few more weeks, then you’ll be okay.” Her hand fell to her side, and she closed her eyes again. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so tired.”

 

“No, Mom. It’s fine. I have to get some groceries and wash my scrubs for work tomorrow. I’ll check back in this afternoon, okay? Maybe after dinner?”

 

“Of course. Go. You can wait ’til tomorrow to come back, baby. You don’t have to spend your whole time in here with me.”

 

“After dinner,” Josephine insisted and gave her mom a kiss on the forehead before she headed out.

 

As she headed toward the elevator, she saw the same two men who’d walked past her mom’s room standing outside a room a few doors down. Taking a moment to check their patches, she confirmed what she already knew. They were in Lucas’s club.

 

“They’re bringing him up now. No, he’s fine, just needed a few stitches. I don’t know, overnight observation or some shit. Got hit in the head.” One of the men was talking on his cell phone and not being very quiet about it either. She walked past, keeping her head down to avoid their eyes as best she could. They wouldn’t know who she was even if she introduced herself to them but no need to test the waters.

 

The elevator doors slid open just as she reached the call button, and a bed was pushed out. She stepped to the side to give them room, and her eyes swept over the patient in the bed.

 

Lucas.

 

A thick bandage wrapped around his head, and she could see bruising and scrapes on his chin. His eyes caught hers, but she looked away, diving into the elevator as soon as the carriage was empty. He raised his hand into the air. Did he call her? What did he say? His friends were around the bed, and he was still gesturing toward her. She slammed her hand into the elevator buttons to make the doors close, to get her out of there.

 

He was hurt. Dangerous. She’d made the right decision. Stay away from him.

 

But was he okay?

 

# # #

 

 

For three months, he’d forced himself to keep her from his mind. Almost daily, he cursed himself for not getting her phone number. He’d given her his, putting all the control into her hands. It didn’t sit well with him. Control was what kept him going, kept him sharp.

 

Once he was settled in his room, he told Trevor, the prospect in charge of hanging outside his door until he was released in the morning, to find out what room her mother was in. He couldn’t remember the name, but that was his problem to figure it out.

 

Her mother was either still in the hospital or back in. Either way, people who weren’t seriously ill didn’t spend so much time in the hospital. And was she carrying his baby? He hadn’t been able to get a good look at her, other than to realize who she was. The fucking pain meds they’d forced on him in the ER made him too groggy for anything more.

 

Realizing he would be getting another chance to see her, he almost forgave the fucking prick who jumped him. Jeff’s wounds had healed, but the club didn’t stop looking for the assholes who shot him. Being the captain, it was up Lucas to dispense any sort of justice that was called for.

 

Except on his way to the bar where the Iron Rebels hung out, two of them jumped out of an alley. Lucas and two members took them on, but he hadn’t seen the fucking knife. One jab to his side had him stumbling, and a well-placed kick to his ribs had him falling. If it weren’t for the fucking truck parked in that alley, he wouldn’t have hit his damn head on the bumper, and he wouldn’t have lost consciousness. Lance and Jason were fine, a few scrapes, but they gave better than they got. The prick who stabbed him ran off, according to them, as soon as he saw his name and rank on his kutte. He nearly pissed himself and ran off. Pussy.

 

But he’d been able to see Josephine. To make sure she was doing okay. He spent the rest of the nigh drifting in and out of sleep. He’d had a dream, at one point, of Josephine cradling a blanket in her arms, rocking in a chair on the porch of his cabin. Her hair was tied back into a ponytail, and her face lit up when she saw him walk out onto the porch, until he reached for her. Then she shot out of the chair and ran down the steps, yelling at him to get away, telling him that he didn’t care about the baby, that he would never care about the baby. He kept trying to get to her, to reach for the baby in her arms, telling her she wasn’t right. He wanted the baby. He wanted her. But every step he took toward her, she retreated another. It went on like that until a beeping from one of the machines in the room woke him.

 

A nurse walked in and checked the monitors. “Sorry,” she mumbled before pressing some buttons and leaving him alone again.

 

A cold layer of sweat covered his brow, and his heart beat as though he’d run down the hall and back. He wanted the baby. How could he have ever thought he could just walk away from something like that?

 

Fuck ’em and leave ’em was one thing, but knock her up and walk away? No. That wasn’t him. First, he’d need to find out if she was pregnant, and then he was going to make her his.

 

# # #

 

The discharge papers arrived just after Lucas managed to get down the mush they called eggs. He had to eat before they’d let him go, so he humored them and shoveled in the slop. Now he was free. The IV was out, he’d changed into his real clothes, and he was ready to get the hell out. His side ached from the shallow wound, but his head was what throbbed the most. A few stitches, but he was fine.

 

“Is my bike in the lot?” Lucas asked Trevor.

 

“No. Prez said to leave you the truck. He didn’t want you on a bike today.”

 

“That asshole.” Lucas grimaced. He wouldn’t be able to ride with that pain anyway, at least not comfortably. He’d give it a day. No more than that before he had that beast between his legs again.

 

“I’ll wait for you, drive you back.” Trevor nodded.

 

“How you going to do that if you have your bike?”

 

“Oh. Yeah. Okay.”

 

Just as Lucas was sending him on his way, the elevator opened and Josephine stepped out. She caught his gaze immediately, and her face flushed red. Lucas shoved Trevor in the direction of the exit and crossed his arms. He’d wait for her to come to him.

 

She looked around, planning her escape maybe, but eventually gave in and walked toward him. When she reached him, she gave him a little wave and tried to walk around, but he stepped in front of her, blocking her way. “Josephine.”

 

“Lucas.” She gave a courteous smile. Her eyes weren’t as bright as before, and she looked a bit sullen.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Yeah. Fine. Just visiting my mom.” She pointed to a room behind him. “You’re hurt.” Her brow wrinkled when she took notice of the stitches on his forehead.

 

“A scratch. Nothing.” He touched the stitches. Burned like hell, but he’d had worse before. “How are you feeling?” He tried not to stare at her stomach, but he couldn’t help taking a little look. The flowing blouse she wore hid her belly.

 

“I’m good.” She nodded, eyeing the room she wanted to escape into. In a heartbeat, her smile dropped, her face soured, and she darted around him for the door. He followed her into another patient room and right into the bathroom she bolted into. Bent over the toilet, she emptied the contents of her stomach.

 

He stood beside her, rubbing her back and holding her hair away from her face. He had his answer. Once she was finished, she sagged against him.

 

“Thank you,” she whispered, then pulled some toilet paper from the roll to wipe her mouth. He waited until she was standing completely on her own, then went to the sink to get some water with a little paper cup stashed there.

 

“Thanks,” she said again, taking a sip of the water.

 

“You’re pregnant.” He couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. The confirmation sent an explosion of pride and joy through him. He was going to be a father.

 

“Yes.” She nodded, then gave him a wry look. “It might not be—”

 

“It is.” He took the cup from her when she finished.

 

“You can’t possibly know that.” She straightened her shirt and took a deep breath.

 

“I do.”

 

“It doesn’t matter. Remember?” She moved around him to get a glance at herself in the mirror. She tried to run her fingers through her hair but looked just as frustrated with herself when she was done.

 

“It does matter. I was thinking—”

 

“Whatever it is, no. I told you, I’m doing this on my own. I won’t ask anything of you.”

 

He stepped toward her, effectively backing her up against the bathroom wall. “You aren’t asking. I’m telling you. You got my baby in your belly, and I’m not walking away from that.”

 

She opened her mouth to respond—with narrowed eyes and tense jaw, it was probably a strong response—but she was cut off by someone calling her name outside the door. “My mom.” She grumbled and shoved away from him, exiting the bathroom. He followed her into the room to find an older woman, frail and sickly, lying in the bed with two doctors standing beside her. The doctors eyed him with curiosity but kept their mouths shut.

 

“Josephine?” her mom asked, looking directly at Lucas.

 

“A friend, Mom. What’s going on?” She ignored Lucas and turned to the doctors.

 

Lucas listened as they went on about her mother’s prognosis, her treatment, and the size of a tumor. They babbled on about insurance and non-covered procedures and out-of-pocket expenses. Lucas kept his focus on Josephine. Her muscles tensed the longer the conversation went on, and by the end of it, she was wringing her hands together so hard he was afraid she’d hurt herself.

 

He had stepped behind her at some point and rested his hands on her hips. Just a signal that he was there. She could lean back on him, and he’d support her. Whatever was going on in that room, she was being stripped of hope. He could see it in her eyes.

 

“Thank you,” Josephine whispered to the doctors when they finished answering her questions. They both nodded and walked out of the room, barely even acknowledging the patient in the bed.

 

“Josephine, I didn’t understand half of what those two were talking about, except I heard them talk about my insurance not covering something. What won’t they cover?”

 

Josephine stepped forward, taking her mother’s thin hand in her own and put on a smile that anyone in the world could see was fake. “Mom, don’t worry. I’ll take care of it. Just a phone call. It will be fine.”

 

Her mother's pale eyes of narrowed. She didn’t believe her either. “I may be sick and half dead, but I’m not stupid. They said they already talked with the insurance.”

 

“Mom, don’t get all worked up. I’ll take care of it, okay?”

 

Soft eyes met his when she looked past her daughter and focused on Lucas. “Who’s your friend?” She changed the subject for the moment with a very good question. He had a bruise on his chin, stitches in his forehead, and was dressed in his dark jeans and leather kutte. He could only imagine what she thought of him in comparison to her clean-cut daughter standing right in front of him.

 

“This is Lucas.” Josephine waved a hand behind her at him but didn’t bother looking back.

 

“He’s a big one,” her mother scoffed and closed her eyes.

 

Lucas laughed at that, but Josephine’s back straightened even more, a feat he didn’t think possible. “It’s nice to meet you, ma’am. Josephine has told me you aren’t feeling well. I came across her in the hallway here, and she became ill. I followed her in here to be sure she was okay.”

 

Her eyes opened again, snapping to her daughter’s face. “Morning sickness again?” She reached up and patted Josephine’s hand. “It will pass, I promise.’

 

“You’ve been telling me that for weeks now.” Josephine forced a laugh.

 

Her mother eyed Lucas again. “You take care of her for me. I can’t do much right now, but she’s going to need help. She’s going to be tired and cranky. She takes on too much.”

 

“I’m working on it, ma’am.” He nodded, feeling Josephine try to pull out of his grip but unable to.

 

“Good.” She nodded and closed her eyes. “I’m tired. So damn tired.”

 

“Get some sleep. I’m going to get some coffee and make those calls.” Josephine pulled up the blanket a little higher and tucked her mother in. The woman was asleep before Josephine even turned around to face Lucas. “You can go now. I’m sure you have better things to do.”

 

“Come with me.” He gripped her hand hard—not giving her any hope that she could get away—and pulled her into the hallway. Once they were out of the room, he spun around and glared down at her. “Your mother is fucking dying.”

 

Her eyes widened at his accusatory tone. “She’s not going to die. I won’t let it happen.” She kept her voice low but firm.

 

“You can’t take care of this on your own. Those doctors said without that treatment or surgery or whatever, she doesn’t have good odds. The insurance won’t cover it.”

 

“What does any of this have to do with you?” Josephine yanked her hand from his and crossed her arms over her chest, plumping up her breasts.

 

“You’re obviously pregnant. You are having morning sickness, and you are exhausted. I don’t know a shit-ton about medicine, but I do know that if you don’t have insurance, the bills just pile higher and higher. For something like they were talking about, we aren’t talking hundreds or thousands of dollars, we are talking tens of thousands of dollars.” The muscles in his neck pulled tighter with the pout in her expression. She didn’t like being talked to like this, being scolding. Well, tough shit. Reality sucked, but it was real. You couldn’t hide from it. You had to face that shit head on if you were going to get through it. “I was wrong. I’m not walking away from this baby.”

 

“It’s not yours.” She gritted her teeth, shoving him hard but not enough to move him. She wiggled around him and stormed off to the elevators. He grunted when her hand pushed his side but stalked off after her anyway.

 

“Like hell.” He growled and stepped into the elevator with her when it opened. A glare at the nurse trying to step in with them kept her out, and he slammed his hand against the button that would close the door.

 

She scoffed at him and pointed at the doors as they closed. “Really? And you think you’re fit to be a father?”

 

“I don’t want to talk about this with other people around, sweetheart, but if you want strangers to hear how you asked me to knock you up after knowing me for ten minutes, then sure, let’s let them all in.” He stepped over to the buttons again to press the stop, but her soft hand on his arm stopped him.

 

“No. No, you’re right.” When he turned to look at her, she moved away from him and covered her face with both her hands. “I’m sorry.”

 

“No, don’t be sorry.” He pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her. The burning pain in his side would have to wait; she needed comforting more than he did. “Just stop being so damn stubborn.”

 

“I don’t even know you. How the hell can I have a kid with you? What the fuck was I thinking?” She yanked out of his arms and cowered in the corner of the elevator. “You’re in a gang!”

 

“It’s a club, not a gang, but I’m sure from where you sit, it looks to be the same.” He didn’t raise his voice. She didn’t need that, not yet. “Look, we don’t know each other. Well, not enough to decide right this second what we want to do about us, but I’m telling you that since I met you, I haven’t gotten you out of my head. And when I saw you yesterday, it hit me. It wasn’t just you I was missing; I was worried that you’d be off having my kid without me. That I would never know him…or you.”

 

She swiped a hand across her mouth. “You really want to be involved?”

 

“Not just involved, no weekend dad shit, I want us to make this work. Give it a try.”

 

“Right now isn’t exactly the time for me to start dating, Lucas. My mom—”

 

“Is sicker than you let me think. I get it. We just met, and you were trying to get in my pants, but understand this, from now on, you tell me everything. No hiding anything; no sugar coating it. Now,” he stuffed his hands into his pockets, “how sick is she?”

 

“She’s going to die.” The elevator doors slid open on her sob.