Problems don’t get solved at the bottom of a bottle. It sometimes takes the edge off, but that’s because it muddies your thought process. That’s what my brother wanted, though. Shawn thinks I need to stop thinking about it, so he keeps shoving glass after glass in front of me. That’s why I came up to his old bedroom at his house in Oxford.

That was two hours ago.

For two hours I’ve been lying with my back propped up against the wooden headboard in this room. This small, closed in room. It’s both a reprieve from the sympathetic eyes downstairs and like a noose, choking me.

Sleep won’t come because my brain won’t shut off. I used to love the twelve-hour shifts at the hospital. Sometimes even working longer than that. Before I moved to Memphis, I used to moonlight at another hospital, so I wouldn’t be alone in my thoughts.

I hate being alone. I hate the silence.

Silence is never that—silent.

Unless I tire my body out completely, my brain never stops.

I need Whitney. Where is she?

I thought once she got her memory back I’d finally be rewarded with peace. I wasn’t. Sure, I could breathe again, and the heaviness in my chest was mostly lifted, but peace never came. My mind never slowed down. Instead, it took a sharp turn and continued racing, just with different thoughts.

I had her. There’s been no doubt in my mind about that. She is mine—always and forever—heart, body, and soul. All three of them were. Are. Even when she was pissed and wasn’t speaking to me, she was still all mine.

But a nagging worry would never ease up. Fear of losing them. Fear of someone stealing them from me. Fear of something just like what happened yesterday gripped onto me and wouldn’t let go. Peace was never granted.

“Hey.”

My eyes pop open. I didn’t even realize I had closed them.

Looking over at the opened door, I see Whitney standing in the entryway with one hand holding the doorknob and the other raised, but behind the doorframe, out of my view.

“Can I come in?”

“You have to ask that?”

She shakes her head, walking through and closing the door behind her. “No.”

“Then why did you?”

Her feet bring her toward me. Her hands are behind her back. “Something to say I guess.”

She stops at the side of the bed. My fingers tingle at her closeness, needing to feel her.

Reaching out, I grip her jean-clad thigh, pulling her onto the bed, and then on top of me, straddling my center. She smiles down at me. With my other hand, my palm glides up her knee until I reach the column of her neck. Wrapping my hand around the back, I pull her down until her lips meet mine. I need them. I need to feel them, and I need her taste to filter through me.

She bites down on my lower lip. She always bites my lip when we kiss. And I love it. I’ll never get enough of her. It’s impossible.

She rears up, a couple of inches away from me to look me in the eyes, but I keep my hand firmly wrapped around the back of her neck, keeping her close.

“What happened isn’t your fault. You know that, don’t you? You know you saved us, right?”

“I don’t like that a man died because I pushed him the wrong way. I could have done a number of things, and he’d probably be alive right now.”

“Shane, don’t—”

I stop her words by pulling her back down and pressing my lips to hers again.

“Let me finish.” She rises. My hand releases her but keeps her eyes locked on mine. “Who’s to say if he hadn’t died that you wouldn’t have gotten hurt, or me, Ev, or even all three of us.” I sigh and run my hand through my hair. I need to tell her. I need to say it out loud. I need to come to terms with the truth. “I felt relieved too. And I’m conflicted by it. I hate he’s dead, but I also feel relief because he’s out of our lives. Emersyn never has to go to his house alone again. The worry I felt that somehow I’d lose you all over again—lose all of you—is gone. And that feels good, if I’m honest.”

When I ran down those stairs, raced to his body, with the instinct to save him—or try to save him—I dropped to my knees, checking for a pulse only he didn’t have one. All that worry vanished in an instant. That peace I was seeking settled into my bones. Sure, I felt guilty for my part in his life ending, but the peace that settled inside me knowing he no longer had an ounce of power in our lives outweighed that guilt.

And a part of me feels like those feelings are wrong to have.

I shouldn’t feel relieved a man is dead. I’m supposed to save lives. Not take them.

“I feel horrible for . . .” Ah, fuck. I do. I feel like shit for feeling glad he’s dead.

“Babe,” she sighs, then bites down on her bottom lip.

“That’s fucked up isn’t, Love? That I get enjoyment out of a life ending?”

“It’s not enjoyment, Shane.” She shakes her head. Then she leans back down where her lips are centimeters from mine. Her forehead presses into mine, and her eyes bore into mine. “I thought he was a thorn in our sides. Would always be there, not allowing us the pure happiness we deserve.” She just looks at me. “But he wasn’t a thorn. He was a knife waiting to gut us. He was a bullet in a chamber waiting to go off and end us.” She waits, and I know she wants her words to sink in. They do. “Now he can’t hurt us. He can’t hurt us ever again. Baby, you didn’t kill him. He killed himself. He took our daughter. He was going to hurt her. And I can’t even utter the words that are rolling around in my head that I know deep down he was really going to do.” Kill Everly is what she can’t say. I know this because I can’t say them out loud either.

Her lips take mine. Kissing me. She’s trying to make me feel her words. Trying to make me take them in as the truth.

I know she is right. I do feel it.

“Love,” I start to say, but she shoves her hand between us, over my lips, and then she rises back into a seated position on my lap.

“I have something I need to tell you.”

Her smile, a smile that shows excitement and happiness, makes me smile back.

“Yeah?”

“Blake told me things.” She lets out a breath. “He told me things before you got there. And . . .”

Her brows knit together like she’s searching for the right words. Her smile confuses me. Why would something he told her make her happy?

“Why are you getting upset?”

I hadn’t realized I was. I guess subconsciously the thought of something he said could cause her joy angered me. “Sorry.” It’s the only thing I have to offer her.

“Shane?”

“You’re happy, and I don’t know why. I don’t know how you can be happy over anything that man said.”

A huff of air exits her mouth. “I’m not happy over what he said. Just give me a sec to explain. I’m happy for another reason, and I know you will be too.” She leans down quickly, giving me a reassuring kiss.

“All right, Love. What is it?”

“Emersyn was never planned. I knew I didn’t love Blake. I certainly didn’t want another kid by him.” I cringe at those words. “Hey, I didn’t know Everly was yours. But I did know I didn’t want another baby. Well, that’s not exactly true. The thought of another baby was awesome up until I factored Blake in. Anyway, you get my point, right?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Well, Blake wanted a baby. I understand why now. But I wouldn’t get off my birth control. Not even when he kept pressuring me to. Apparently, he was determined, because he switched my real pills with fake ones somehow. Oh, and he did blackmail that judge to get joint custody of Em, by the way. But that’s a topic for later. So, I got pregnant with Emersyn because he made it happen.”

What a twisted human being. Who the hell does that? And how?

“I have no words for that, Love. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder. I should have looked for you. I—”

“Stop that,” she scolds. “We were dealt a shitty hand. We can’t change it. There is no point in regretting what we had no knowledge of. So just stop that thought and let me finish.”

“Go on.”

“He wanted to do it again. That’s what he told me. He was going to get me pregnant again.” Vile bubbles up my throat. “But he didn’t succeed this time. We found our way back to each other. And you made me remember. You gave me back my past, and because of that, I have the future I was meant to have with you.” Her smile is larger than life, making my chest swell.

“I’m pregnant.” My breathing stops. “We’re pregnant.” Whitney grabs my hand placing it on her stomach. “I’m only a couple of weeks. I found out yesterday when I went to that doctor’s appointment.”

“You’re . . .” I lose my breath.

“No. We’re. We are having a baby. This is our baby. And Shane”—she lets out a big breath—“the pure joy I didn’t get to experience when I was pregnant with Everly or Emersyn because of the situation that was forced upon me . . .” She shakes her head. “I have that. I’m so happy because I’m having your baby. It’s a feeling I can’t even begin to put words to.”

I stare at the place my hand is resting.

She pulls up her shirt, the material sliding through my palms until my skin meets her skin. Her stomach is warm. The way it expands as she breaths . . .

My eyes shut. Feelings, emotions I can’t even process zip through me. Bliss. I think that’s what this is.

When I open my eyes the words fall from my lips, “Marry me, Love.” Her eyes sparkle. “You’ve already seen the ring.” I shrug. This was not at all how I’d planned on proposing. “Will you be my wife?”

“Braden,” she bends down. “I want foreverly after with you. Yes! I’ll marry you.”

Screw peace. Peace is overrated. I’m about to marry a woman and have three kids. I doubt peace will ever be in my life. And that’s okay. As long as Love is here, then that’s all I’ll ever need.

In a quick move, I rise and flip her onto her back. Her giggle washes over me, awakening my dick in the process.

“I need inside of you, Love.”

“Then I guess you need to get us out of all of these clothes.” She looks up at me, showing me the love and lust heating her up on the inside and promising me forever with those eyes.

When I finally slide into her warmth, I feel the shudder that ripples through us both.

We can never get back what was stolen from us, but we can walk into our future making up for lost time and creating memories that’ll last forever.