On the Uber ride back to my apartment, Ethan has his hands all over me. But he doesn’t kiss me. We don’t even look at each other. He slides his hand up my thighs and feels every inch of my exposed skin, forcing me to bite the inside of my cheek to be quiet. It was one thing to feel each other up in a crowded club, but not with a private audience in the front seat.

When the car stops, Ethan forks over a wad of cash and thanks the driver. He helps me out of the car, and by the time he gets me outside, he has me over his shoulder.

“What are you doing, E?” I push down the back of my skirt, as he shuts the door and waves to the man.

“You were moving too slow, and I have plans for you that cannot wait.”

His deep, masculine voice produces an aching within me that I cannot ignore. I burrow my face in the crook of his neck, no longer wanting to fight him. As much as I want him to put me down, I allow Ethan to carry me over the threshold.

He holds out his hand. “Give me your keys.”

I retrieve the ring from my purse.

Inside the three-story brownstone, a narrow hallway to the right leads to a set of doors. Each floor has two apartments, with the smallest ones on the lower floors. The walls are painted stark white with lights overhead that cast a yellowish hue around us. This early in the morning my neighbors are either still out partying or in bed. Half the building is filled with people my age, while the other half are retirement age and fast asleep.

Given Ethan’s athletic build, he has no problem taking the stairs two at a time, as if it’s nothing. He’s a big guy, and in his arms, I feel safe, secure. Ethan manhandles me like I’m a doll. He sets me on the floor to fumble with the keys, opening the door and kicking it shut before he lifts me up again.

As Ethan pushes my back into the door, I wrap my legs around his middle and slide my hands up his chest. Holding me tight, his lips crash against mine with a fury. I hadn’t realized how much I missed his touch until now. More like I craved him. The second our mouths had separated at the club I wanted more. Now, I have it. All of him.

Ethan kisses me, our tongues working in harmony as one. He invades my mouth with a vicious hunger, ten years of pent up sexual desire exploding at once. And I feel every one of those years. He tells me with his body how much he’s wanted this. Claims me with each flick of his tongue. Possesses me with each finger he digs into my side.

After what feels like an hour, our lips part, both of us out of breath and panting. Ethan cups the side of my face with his big hand and sighs. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this, Mia.”

“Me, too.” I barely get the words out.

He shakes his head. “Too fucking long.”

We stare at each other, a beat passing between us before he pushes my panties aside to run his finger along my slick folds. Testing my wetness, Ethan slides his finger in and out of me and makes a hissing sound.

“So wet. So fucking tight. Damn, Mia, what are you doing to me? I thought I could control myself with you. I have to control myself. But I can’t.”

“Then don’t,” I whisper.

“Don’t say that. I want to fuck you on every surface of this apartment. I want my cock inside every part of you. I want it all.”

I press my finger to his lips to silence him. “Will is out for the night. We get one night. One night to fuck and forget. One night to get this out of our systems.”

“Your brother would never forgive me. He flipped out over me touching your leg at the interview.”

“He doesn’t need to know, E. It’s just you and me. Maybe my neighbors will hear us, but I don’t give a shit about what they think. The couple next door to me is loud as fuck most of the time.”

He laughs. So do I.

We share a short-lived moment where it’s just Mia and E, the boy I fell in love with ten years ago. This is the Ethan Waters I know. Deep down inside it hurts knowing that tonight can never be more than a fling. But having Ethan for one night is better than not at all.

He kisses me again, but this time as if he’s saying goodbye. Tightening my grip on his back and neck, I hold onto Ethan for dear life, afraid of losing any contact with him. I take all his anger and pain, absorb his sadness and fear because his emotions mirror mine. We both want more. But we can’t have it.

Ethan carries me to the kitchen, with my legs still around his back and my nails clawing at his neck. We don’t even bother to separate our lips until my ass hits the countertop. I don’t even think. I act on instinct, working on the buttons of his navy dress shirt. I flip them open one at a time, and when I get to the last button, Ethan shakes it off.

He plucks a condom from his pocket, before taking off his pants and boxers, and rips the package open. I push up my skirt, slide my panties down to my ankles, and let them drop to the floor.

Ethan wets his lips as he takes in the sight of me. Staring at me like a ravenous beast, he sinks to the floor in front of me, parting my legs with his strong hands.

“Your pussy is mine. All mine.” He kisses his way up my thigh, taking his time as if he wants to torture me. Burying his face between my legs, Ethan peeks up at me, his eye contact proving to be too much for me. His intense gaze sends a pang of pleasure throughout my body as his tongue connects with my aching clit. He uses his tongue as if massaging me, taking his time and giving me lazy licks that drive me fucking insane.

His breath against my pussy makes my toes curl, and when his tongue finally slips between my folds, my mind shuts down. I’m unable to move or think straight. He shoves two fingers inside me, spreading me out. My insides clench around him, his tongue bringing me to the point of convulsing.

I stare into his deep blue eyes, filled with hunger and passion, concentrating on finding my release as he manages to hit my sweet spot.

“Ethan,” I moan. “Fuck. Just like that.”

Gripping Ethan’s hair in my hands, I hold him tight and scream for him. Scream his name. I let out all my frustration and anger over this fucked up situation. I communicate my feelings with each orgasm he rips from my body as if they were his to take. Because they are. Ethan owns every last one of them.

Ethan stops when I can’t take any more and glances up at me, his lips covered in my juices. He licks every bit from his lips before sucking his fingers clean. “Mmm…You taste good. I am not done with you.”

I release my grip on his hair and sink back against the cabinet, trying to collect myself. “Good,” I whisper. “Because I want more.”

He places his hands on my thighs and pushes himself up. “What do you want, Mia? I want you to say it.”

I hook my leg around him and dig my heel into his toned ass. “I want you to fuck me. I want that hate fuck I’ve been waiting years for.”

He snickers. “I don’t hate you. Never did.”

“Well, I hated you for a long time, so give me what I want. Fuck every last ounce of hatred from my body. This is it. Your only chance. Give it to me, E. Fuck me like one of your puck bunnies.”

Ethan drags his thumb across my bottom lip. “You have such a dirty mouth for a goody two shoes. Do you know what I do to dirty girls?”

I shake my head. “No. Why don’t you show me?”

He tugs at my shirt, practically ripping it off my body in one fell swoop, the lace bra I’d worn for the occasion falling to the floor along with my top. With my breasts exposed to the cold air, my nipples grow harder. But it’s not until Ethan massages them between his fingers that the tiny buds become so taut that a sensation of pure pleasure rocks through my body.

He bends down to suck on my nipple, taking it between his teeth and nibbling on it, while massaging my other breast. Pain washes over me in waves. Just like when he bit my neck at the club, it hurts. But I don’t care. With each bite of my nipples, I come undone beneath him. I lose control of myself.

Ethan removes my nipple from his mouth and kisses his way up my chest and to my mouth. Leaving soft kisses on my skin, Ethan continues navigating my body with his rough, calloused hands. His massive erection digs into my thigh, long and hard and so perfect. I reach between my legs to touch his sensitive skin, stroking his shaft with both hands. He moans in my mouth, a few obscenities escaping his lips.

“I’ve gone easy on you,” he says between kisses. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

I nod. “Yes, give it to me. I want it all.”

He grabs me by the hips and pulls me off the counter so fast that my head spins. I was not expecting that. With a firm grip, he presses his fingers into my skin, burrowing so deep that it’s as if he wants to leave his mark on me.

“Turn around.” His voice comes off like a growl, as he moves one of his hands to my shoulder and spins me around.

Without hesitation, I lean my forearms on the counter and lift my ass up, giving him a perfect view of my pussy.

He rubs his hand over each cheek, caressing my skin. “Good girl.”

Then, he does something I least expect. He smacks me. At first, it’s playful, but the second time his hand comes down harder. I squeal from the pain. I moan from the pleasure.

Ethan hooks an arm around my stomach and pushes me into his thick chest, his cock digging into my lower back. “You like that? Is this what you want?”

“Yes. More than anything,” I mutter, breathless.

He slides his hand to my throat and tilts my head back so that our eyes meet. Consumed by the hold he has over my mind and body, I block out the noise from the floor below us, the ambulance sirens that blare in the distance. I even ignore the jiggling of the front door handle. It’s not until a loud bang, followed by Will’s voice that I come out of my Ethan induced coma.

“Mia, open up.” Will slams his fist into the door once more. “I don’t have a key.”

“Fuck,” Ethan says under his breath. “He was supposed to be gone until morning.”

I stare up at Ethan in horror. “So much for having one night together.”

He looks as if he wants to jump out the window. I wish I could, too. In a hurry, we bend over to retrieve our clothes, balling the material in our hands.

“Go to the bathroom,” I tell Ethan. “I will deal with Will. Better yet, sleep in my room tonight, and I’ll take the couch. It’s better if Will thinks you are sleeping already.”

“No, he’ll get suspicious if I sleep in your bed. I’ll take the guest room.”

“Mia, C'mon,” Will shouts. “Open the door, baby sis.”

Ethan steals one last kiss, a quick peck that leaves me wanting more. I have to push him away so that I don’t try to kiss him again. He’s too tempting, intoxicating, an illness that has no cure.

As he walks away from me, I admire his perfect backside and muscles that define every inch of his back and shoulders. My heart beats hard against my chest, the longing and desire still burning my skin.

Damn you, Will.

With my eyes on Ethan, I allow myself one last look as I slip my skirt over my hips and slide my panties up my thighs. I skip the bra, hiding it in one of the cabinets, and throw my shirt over my head on my way to the door. I give myself a once over in the mirror on the wall and smooth a hand down the front of my shirt and skirt. This is as good as it’s going to get.

The second I unlatch the lock, Will stumbles inside, reeking of sex and alcohol. Or maybe I’m the one who smells of sex. It’s hard to tell.

“About damn time,” Will hisses, as he steps inside. “I was about to call an Uber.”

I lock the door and spin around to watch him stagger into the living room. “Where would you have gone? Your apartment is trashed.”

He shrugs, with his back to me. “A hotel. What difference does it make?”

“I thought you were staying out with those girls.”

“Nah. I got bored with them.” Before he hits the couch, he changes his course of direction. “I’m hungry. Got any leftovers from dinner?”

I follow behind Will and into the kitchen. He opens the fridge and peeks inside. The light casts a shadow in the darkness, drawing my attention to the open condom Ethan had left on the countertop.

Shit.

I scoot closer, hoping Will doesn’t see me. Hovering my hand over it, I grab the wrapper just as Will removes an extra plate of veal Parm and spaghetti from the shelf.

He peeks up at me, his eyes narrowed. “What are you doing? You’re acting weird.”

“Nothing.”

Will tilts his head to the side. “What’s in your hand?”

Fuck. How would I even go about explaining this? Oh, it’s no big deal, Will. I open condoms all the time for no reason. No, I don’t think so.

I tuck the condom into the back of my skirt and hold up my hands. “I told you. Nothing.”

“Meh,” he says and offers the plate of food to me. “Want some? There’s enough for both of us.”

Dodged that bullet.

I shake my head. “No, I think I’m going to get some sleep. Ethan took the guest bedroom, so that leaves you with the couch.”

Will pops the plate into the microwave and hits a few buttons. “Whatever. I’m cool with the couch. I told E that we would take turns anyway.”

I glance up at the clock on the wall and frown at the time. “I have to get to bed. Try not to make too much noise out here. My shift starts in three hours, and I need at least a nap to function properly.”

“Sounds good.” Will turns around with his back against the counter and folds his arms over his chest, waiting for the pasta to cook. “Night-night, baby sis.”

I suck in a deep breath, thankful that Will didn’t catch me with Ethan. Or the condom. Awkward.

“Night, big bro. Tomorrow, remind me to have a key made for you. I won’t be home until around eight o’clock. Go ahead and eat dinner without me.”

“You shouldn’t work so much,” he shoots back. “Some of the shit you do is dangerous. I’d feel better if you knew how to protect yourself.”

“I have to work hard if I want to make a name for myself, Will. If anyone should understand that, it should be you. Your life is anything but conventional.”

“I get it, believe me, I do. Remember to have some fun every once in a while. Don’t work yourself to death. Be careful.”

Somewhat sick of the never-ending conversation I have with Will at least once a week, I roll my eyes. “Always.”

He calls me all the time to check up on me. Now that Will is living with me, he will see for himself just how dysfunctional I am. I prioritize work above everything else. That’s why tonight was so important. One night of fun with Ethan was all I had wanted. Too bad that went to shit before anything between us could even begin.

The microwave dings, the obnoxious sound echoing throughout the apartment. Without hesitation, Will retrieves the hot plate, making a hissing sound when the ceramic burns his fingers. He steps back, almost dropping his food on the floor, but he recovers nicely. Will sets the plate on the table and pulls out a chair.

“Enjoy your food.” I turn my back to Will and walk out of the kitchen. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

He mumbles something with a mouth full. I have no idea what he said, nor do I care.

I have to be alone.

I need time to process what happened between Ethan and me.

Time to process what tonight means for us.