Chapter 36

Avery

I squeeze my eyes shut and wait for fate to swing the axe.

I’ve been preparing to die this whole time, really. So many different times, in so many ways.

I'll be in heaven soon.

Angels will take me…but they’ll take me away from Jack.

To me, that’s the saddest and most heart-wrenching pain I’ll have to endure.

He's the last thing I think about when Adam pulls the trigger.

My only comfort is knowing that he’ll be the last thing I see.

In an instant, all my time with Jack flashes before my eyes. Every moment we spent together previews in front of me in one long, glorious moment. Time slows down and I have one last chance to experience what true love feels like.

We had a good run. It's been short, but at least I finally experienced love before I died.

I think about Jack and how life had wounded him so badly. My death will just torture him further. But I'm helpless to stop it and so, I just let go and wait for a bullet to the head.

I wait…and wait some more. But nothing happens.

Adam’s cussing makes me open my eyes. He is messing with the trigger. It looks like his gun jammed. Karma has finally caught up with him.

How the tables of fucking fortune have turned.

It's a sweet moment of karmic bliss when you know that everything has come full circle. Jack is going to get what he deserves at last.

The bad guys never win. I should’ve known that from fairy tales by now. The fact that I'm not going to die just yet makes me believe even more that I have a chance of being happy, of being with Jack.

I have barely a moment to react or even to breathe a sigh of relief before Jack jumps into action.

Jack unties me and removes the gag while Adam struggles with his faulty gun. I rub my wrists and suck in a deep breath of fresh air. Free at last. I still can't quite believe that my life is not over. The taste of Jack’s maple syrup from the dishtowel is even still in my mouth.

I look up into Jack's eyes and see that he's relieved, too. For a moment he stares at me, checking to see that I'm alright.

It’s thanks to fate that I've been given a new lease on life. And I know Jack will handle the rest.

But at that moment, I see Adam getting up over Jack's shoulder, poised for an attack.

"Jack, look out!" I yell.

But Jack is already turning on Adam before the words leave my lips. I didn't even have to say anything. Jack has some kind of sixth sensory skill for detecting danger.

It’s extra useful for when I’m around, since I’m really fucking good at getting into it, or so it seems.

Jack’s face is red with fury and desire for revenge.

I would fucking hate to be Adam right now with no hope at all.

Jack catches Adam by the neck. There's no contest between the two of them. Jack is so much bigger than Adam that it's ridiculous to even compare.

He holds Adam by the neck and throws him against the wall where he begins to strangle the latter.

Is it wrong to say I find sick satisfaction from seeing the man who almost murdered me now in the grips of the man who saved my life?

In this moment, I realize that Jack will always protect me. He always has my back. And my front.

And some parts of me between my legs that are probably improper to be thinking of right now.

But at the same time, I came very close to death—I saw death tonight. And I know Jack is gonna to make Adam pay for that, sorely.

"L-let me go!” Adam says, choking on the words. “We can work something out. I've got money. You can have it. You can have anything you want. Just let me go!"

Jack is unfazed. All I see is a fiery rage in his eyes. He's on a mission to kill and I'm not sure I oppose the idea.

He releases Adam, who falls limply to the floor. Jack starts kicking him in the ribs over and over again.

Adam's screams do nothing to make me empathize. I want him to suffer. He deserves everything he gets.

Jack pummels him to the ground and punches Adam's face multiple times. Soon, he's a bloodied, unrecognizable mess.

Now that I'm released from my bondage, I feel like I should do something. I should probably stop this horrible beating. Instead, I find that I actually want Jack to keep doing it.

God, I think it’s actually turning me on.

Adam betrayed me, his country, and, most of all, Jack. He's the reason Jack suffered so much pain in his life and that makes me feel a certain sense of yearning to defend my man—the man who saved me.

Adam has the blood of many on his hands and to think… I came so close to marrying him. It makes me shudder.

It's over. I see from the crumpled mess Adam has become on the floor that we have won. Yet, a part of me wants to see Adam suffer further. I want him to die.

Jack looks at me over his shoulder, his eyes giving me a silent question about whether he should go on. My humanity's in question as I hold the keys to Adam's life. With one nod, Jack will kill him. Am I willing to live with that?

To my horror and ultimate fascination, I actually want Adam dead. It gives me a sense of power and satisfaction to know that this scum of the earth will be gone soon. We'll be doing the world a favor getting rid of him.

Jack looks at me, and finally, I say the words.

“Do it.”

He's a danger to us if he lives. He'll never give up trying to kill us. He’s fucking insane, and he’s hurt everyone here—even poor Buck.

Adam has hurt me so many times. Just a few minutes ago, he had a gun pressed to my skull and I was seconds away from death. If his weapon hadn't malfunctioned, I'd be dead right now.

And so the sight of him getting what he deserves from the man I'm obsessed with—well, it feels pretty good.

I watch the scene as though I'm in a trance. Jack is letting loose on Adam and I feel an odd kind of appeal in knowing that the man who tried to hurt me so badly is finally facing Jack's wrath.

I know the beating has to do with me, but I know Jack is also doing it for all the men whose lives were lost that day on the battlefield. Jack is a hero, but he doesn't even know it because his mission went awry, all because of Adam.

Years of aggression are pouring forth from Jack. The evidence is on Adam's bloodied face and body. But Jack has complete control over himself. He could stop any time he wants to.

He would stop, I know, even now if I only asked him to.

But I can't say I want him to stop.

He needs this revenge. He deserves it. His men deserve it. Buck deserves it.

And so do I.