Chapter 14

Avery

I wake up to Buck licking at my face. He’s got dog breath, but his intentions are good, so I don’t really mind.

“Boof!” he barks softly, nosing against my ear. I can hear him sniffing me. Almost like he’s trying to make sure I’m alright.

After the nightmares I’ve been having, it’s kind of nice to be checked up on.

Part of me just wishes that it was Jack burying his face in my hair instead.

I look over to Jack’s side of the bed and notice it’s still cold. It’s a shame—I was really looking forward to waking up this morning and cuddling against that hot, steamy naked body of his.

I’ve never woken up in bed with a man before.

I was kind of hoping this morning would be a first.

Instead, it’s Buck in bed with me. As far as consolation prizes go, I don’t mind this one so much. Even if Buck—who has got to be at least part wolf, the more that I think about how freaking huge he is—treats me like I’m some kind of helpless puppy most of the time.

To him, I guess I must seem like one. Especially compared to big, capable Jack.

Jack. I hope he’s not having regrets about what happened in the bath last night. I’m certainly not. But it would explain why he left before I woke up, I guess.

Maybe he’s got, I don’t know. Mountain man things to do? Chopping wood, wrestling bears, that kind of thing.

Or maybe he just can’t be around me, now that he knows what a slut I am.

That’s a bummer.

I hope he’s just climbing a mountain or catching fish with his teeth or something.

I get up out of bed, feeling a lot better than I did the day before. When I locate a mirror in Jack’s room, I can see that my bruising is already fading.

Good. I’m way too vain to go around forever scarred and bruised from rolling my freaking car down a mountainside.

But while I’m up, it’s like…I can’t help myself. I’m in Jack’s bedroom, all alone and with no one but Buck to keep me out of trouble.

I try not to snoop. I really do.

I remember what happened the last time I looked into something I wasn’t supposed to.

I discovered my fiancé was a war criminal, nearly got myself raped and had to run away from my own freaking wedding.

That little adventure ended up with me crashing my car down a mountain.

But since it all led me here to Jack…

It couldn’t be that bad, right?

“Don’t tell Jack I did this,” I say to Buck.

Buck says, “Boof!” and wags his tail, then licks my knee cap.

Okay. We’re co-conspirators now.

I look around the room and see Jack’s meager possessions laid out. In the closet, there's a few shirts and jeans, sweaters and gear, but nothing that provides evidence of who he really is.

I open his dresser and sift through a couple of things. Hidden under some garments I find evidence that he's ex-military and highly decorated at that.

He's got medals and pictures. I examine his face, his handsome and beautiful face, surrounded by a group of men. They are all military and they all have determined expressions on their faces.

Jack looks shredded as ever and in control.

I wonder idly if this is his team? If so where are the rest of them?

And why is Jack out here in the wilderness by himself if he's military? What happened to him?

Suddenly his gruff nature and his intensity make a lot more sense. If he's military then he's probably seen a lot of action, a lot of blood and gore, and a lot of debasement. I can't imagine being in that position, having to kill when commanded, and seeing people suffer.

Does this have anything to do with the way Jack has been with me? Is it why he's isolated himself out here?

And then I think back to what just happened. He almost raped me. And then he woke up as if from a daze.

I know Jack is a good person. I intuitively feel like I can trust him. And yet, I'm somewhat afraid of what happened early this morning.

A part of me wants to believe in him so much. I don't see him as a rapist, I don't see him as a bad person.

Upon finding this evidence of his military background, I'm starting to see him as a man with wounds. Deep wounds that I hope I can help heal.

I look at the photographs for a while. Jack's deep, penetrating eyes are as intense as ever.

It's interesting to see him in an environment that is not this small cabin. I really wonder what his life was like before he moved out here.

I gently run my fingers along the precious metals and military memorabilia. It makes me feel like I've uncovered another layer of Jack.

Before I have time to rifle through all of my finds, I hear the door open.

I'm frozen in fear. What if it's Adam?

I'm all alone with Jack gone and Adam could easily hurt me. I don't even know where Jack keeps his weapons.

I tiptoe out of the living room, still naked, not wanting to make a noise just in case I have to make a fast escape out the window.

I peek behind the corner and breathe a sigh of relief to see Jack standing with the door swung open and cold air infiltrating the place.

His huge stature takes up the length of the door frame and slung over his shoulders is a bleeding deer carcass.

He looks like the picture of a barbarian, a hot barbarian at that. He looks like he's been out in nature and that he's conquered something.

I can only hope.

I look at him now in a new light. Knowing that he's ex-military makes me feel and a newfound sense of compassion for him. I know there's a backstory to Jack.

I step out of the shadows of the hallway so that he can see me, fully exposed, nude.

I stand before him in all of my innocence and vulnerability. He's bigger than I am and more powerful too. But it's how he uses that power that will determine the nature of Jack's character.

His eyes are alight with hungry ambition when he sees me. I know by the look and expression on his face that he's lusting for me. I feel the same way about him but a part of me feels fear and I tremble being in his presence.

Jack is everything I've ever wanted in a man and yet he has secrets, secrets which I need to uncover. He's so big and all brawn that it makes me weak at the knees. I want him to have me.

I want us to be together. But, our lives are so different that sometimes I wonder how that ever be.

All I can do is hope.

“I’ve missed you,” I say.

The look on his face when I say it isn’t the one that I wanted to see.