The day Kacee left, Evie and Jackson left me alone in the kitchen and went to their rooms. I could hear them whispering instead of playing, and I was curious as to what they were thinking right then.

I didn't want to think about how I'd let them down in all of this, but I was trying to keep my head clear so I could calm myself down, but it was too hard.

When I closed my eyes, all I could see was Rebecca. She was young and looked the same before she died. Beautiful and always with a smile on her face. She looked so angelic.

The dream that startled me awake seemed so real, so vivid like it was actually happening. Evie and Jackson were the same ages they are now, but Rebecca was here in the cabin with us. She was doing everything Kacee usually did—she made breakfast with me, kissed me over coffee, sat and ate omelets with us. Evie and Jackson took turns sitting on her lap, and I watched as she read to them and played board games with them. It had all felt so real and right in the dream as if she never died and this was our life together. I didn't know any other reality except for that one.

Then the dream warped and my subconscious took over because suddenly I remembered Kacee. I didn't know where she was, except that she wasn't in the picture. I couldn't reconcile what I was seeing with the knowledge that somebody else belonged there. I watched as Rebecca dissolved away, and I stood in the kitchen alone.

It made me wake up, gasping air in a panic.

My first thought was how I had replaced Rebecca and her memory. Jackson already didn't remember her. Evie only had fleeting memories. They had already forgotten her and replaced that need for a mother with Kacee.

The thought caused a conflicting war within me. I'd loved Becca so damn much and feeling her lips against mine like it was really happening fucked me up.

The moment it hit me, I didn't know how to deal with those feelings, and the only thing that felt right was to push Kacee away. I couldn't think—hell, I couldn't breathe—with her here.

I know it wasn't her fault, and I was a jackass for the way I acted. I can't blame her for not wanting to talk to me. However, it's been over a month, and Penelope won't even tell me where she is.

I've decided to do something entirely out of my comfort zone, but it's time I man up and do the right thing. I've tormented myself for weeks, wanting to kick myself for forcing her out. I never claimed to be an easy man to figure out, but I'll do whatever it takes to show her how sorry I am.

I haven't even been able to explain my side, though I know it doesn't warrant the way I acted, she deserves to know nevertheless. I've told Penelope, and even though she says she understands, she's respecting Kacee's wishes by not telling me where she lives.

Since I didn't want to put Penelope in the middle, I went about my own way of figuring out where her apartment is.

Driving to the city scares the shit out of me. All my memories there are tainted and pain and the last time I was here, it was to identify my wife's body. But today I put that aside and focus on what I'm going to say to Kacee when I see her again for the first time in weeks. God, I miss her so damn much. I freaked out, I won't deny that much, but I wish she'd give me the opportunity to apologize and at least grovel for her forgiveness.

I stop at a market first, picking out a bouquet of flowers before I head to her apartment. She's not expecting me, so I hope she's home and will give me the time to say what I came to say. If after she hears what I have to say she still wants nothing to do with me, then I'll respect that and never bother her again. But I have to try at least.

My heart races as I stand in front of her door, mentally preparing myself for the apology of a lifetime. I can do this.

Just as I bring my hand up to knock, the door whips open. The air is knocked out of my lungs the moment I see her gorgeous, glowing face.

“You're not my Chinese delivery,” she states dryly, a disappointed look in her eyes. She leans against the door, crossing her arms as she waits for me to speak.

“No, sorry. But these are for you,” I say, handing her the flowers.

She stares at them like they're a bouquet of snakes and when she doesn't reach for them, I pull them back, letting my arm fall to my side in defeat.

“Can I come in?” I ask, hopeful. “I'd like the opportunity to apologize.”

She studies me for a moment, pinching her lips together as if she's genuinely contemplating her decision.

“Okay.” She steps back so I can walk in and when I pass her, the smell of vanilla hits my senses. Fuck, she smells the same and so damn good.

Kacee shuts the door behind her and leads me to her small living room. She motions for me to take a seat and sits in the chair across from me.

“Kacee, I…” I inhale deeply, gathering my thoughts. “I'm so fucking sorry. I know that anything I say won't excuse my behavior and how I treated you, but you have to know I regret it all. I shouldn't have freaked out. It's been so long, and my emotions got the best of me. It's a poor excuse, I know, but I had a dream about my late wife—”

“Penelope told me,” she blurts out, cutting me off. Her voice is soft and gentle as if she's holding no judgment. “She explained what you said to her.”

“I should've just told you,” I admit. “You're the first woman I've fallen in love with since she died, and I never imagined I'd fall in love again. I didn't want to. I felt like I didn't deserve to when she was no longer here. For years, I battled with how to even live my life. It didn't seem fair that I get to have one when hers was taken away.” My throat goes dry even when I try to swallow, it feels like razor blades. My eyes close for a moment, feeling relief as I pour my heart and soul out for the first time in years. When I open them, Kacee is kneeling in front of me.

“I know, Parker. I know.” She rests a hand on my knee. “It's why I stayed away. I knew you needed time.”

I cup her face, rubbing my thumb softly against her warm cheek. “I'm so sorry, baby. You deserve so much better than what I did to you.”

“I won't lie and say I wasn't hurt, or rather, pissed. I cried a lot, though that's due mostly to my hormones, but since then I've also decided to forgive you. Being mad at you was only hurting me more, and I didn't want to hurt anymore. I have other important things in my life to worry about.”

“I wish I could've been the one to heal your pain, but I understand why you kept your distance.”

“Trust me, it wasn't easy. I wanted to give in several times and drive up to see you and the kids. But I knew when you were ready, you'd find your way to me again.” She smiles so sweetly; I'm finding it physically hard to keep my distance from her now.

“You're incredible, you know that?” I grin. “I was expecting you to hate me honestly. Slam the door in my face. Punch me in the throat.”

“Oh trust me. I wanted to do all those things. Had you showed up a month ago, I would've taken those flowers and shoved them down your throat.”

“Fuck,” I snicker. “Glad I decided against the knife set I had my eye on.”

“Har har.” She rolls her eyes.

The doorbell rings, breaking our moment. She stands to retrieve it, and I watch as she grabs her bag of food.

“Are you hungry?” she asks, bringing in two bags. “I have enough to feed a small village.”

“Sure, I'm starving.” I stand and follow her to the kitchen. It's bright and fits her perfectly. “Your apartment is nice.”

“Thanks.” She grabs two plates from the cupboard before handing me one. “It's a little small, but I plan on moving to a bigger place in a few months or so.”

“Well, I was hoping you'd move back to the mountains with me,” I blurt out. Kacee spins and faces me with her mouth ajar. I round the small island in the middle and grab her hands. “That's if you'll give us a second chance.”

“Parker…I don't know what to say.”

“You don't have to say anything now, but just think about it, okay? I want to make this up to you. That's if you still want me.” I swallow, wondering if she's already moved on and forgotten what we had.

“Parker, I'm—” She licks her lips, darting her eyes back and forth from the floor to me. “I'm pregnant.”

“What?” I gasp, stepping back to look at her.

“I was going to tell you that day,” she explains, which feels like a sucker punch to the gut. Fuck, I'm worse than an asshole. I'm scum. “You called me in, and I was going to tell you then, but then we had sex, and I was going to do it after your nap. But well—”

“Then I fucked it all up,” I finish for her, shocked and more frustrated with myself than before. “You don't deserve my emotional baggage, Kacee. You deserve so much more.”

“I'd agree with you if I didn't think about you every single day,” Kacee admits with a lazy smile. “I miss you. And the kids. The mountains and the fresh air. I miss it all.”

“They miss you, too. I've missed you. I royally screwed up.” I bow my head, not sure how I'm ever going to be able to forgive myself for telling my pregnant girlfriend to leave. “Do you know the baby’s gender?” I ask, breaking the tension.

“No, it's too early. I'm about ten weeks along.”

Kneeling, I place my hands on her stomach and feel a small bump forming there. Tears well in my eyes as I think of another little life being created. Another life I helped create, too. I want this baby, and I want her. I want to give them the world.

“Please let me be here for you and our baby. I promise never to hurt you again.”

“Parker.” Her voice cracks. “Don't say promises you aren't sure you can keep.”

Standing, I wrap a hand around her neck and pull her mouth to mine. I'm not much with words, but I can show her how much I plan to keep this fucking promise. I'd die before hurting her again—that much I know.

Kacee gives in and sinks against me, letting me take the lead as I swirl my tongue with hers.

I step forward until her back hits the counter. Pouring everything I can into this one kiss, I show her exactly how I feel without words. She deserves everything, and I fully intend to give her everything I can. I want to devote my entire life to her and our family, no second-guessing that being happy doesn't mean I've replaced my late wife and our happiness.

I've had to learn a lot about myself in the last six weeks, and one thing was not taking anything for granted.

“Kacee,” I whisper against her lips. “I'm so madly in love with you, and I hope you can feel how sorry I am for hurting you. I vow never to push you away again. It's a promise I'll keep for as long as I live.”

“I've been crazy in love with you too, Parker. I have been for so long,” she admits while resting her forehead against mine.

I wrap my hands around her waist, cradling her stomach. “I want this life with you. Please accept my apology.”

Kacee looks up at me with tear-filled eyes, but her lips break out into a smile. “I want this life, too.”