“The Red Carpet is Set and the Show is Ready to Roll. The Only Question is will Z McCartney Show Up?”
~Scoop It! Teen Magazine~
Chapter Nine
Z
I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Part of it was because she was a vision of loveliness, and part of it was the fact that I couldn’t believe she was actually here with me.
To be honest, I wasn’t expecting her to agree to this whole shenanigan. The fact that she’d said yes offered me some hope that maybe I could get her to warm up to me a little more. Not that she appeared too relaxed right now. In fact, she seemed downright skittish.
Glancing at my watch, I knew we’d have a while in the car together, first going through traffic and then maneuvering through the limo mess at the Red Carpet outside the Kodak Theater. Besides, I always liked to arrive toward the end and make a grand entrance. For now, though, I had this beauty completely to myself and I intended to take complete advantage of it.
“It feels good having you here,” I said truthfully. “It’s . . . right, somehow.”
She smothered an uneasy grin. “You think so?”
“I do. Of course, life was always better when you were around.” That wasn’t me schmoozing her, it was one hundred percent true.
“I hardly think I compare to all this,” she said, waving her arm around us.
“You’re right. You’re much better.” This time she couldn’t quite keep her pleasure at my comment from showing. Even though a slight smile appeared, it was her eyes that twinkled as she stared at me and I continued on, wanting to take advantage of that tiny crack she was showing in her armor. “I’m not just blowing smoke. I’ve really missed you, Aubrey.” It was a crime that I’d ever let her slip away. What the hell had I been thinking?
Quietly she toyed with the small, sparkly clutch in her lap. “I’ve missed you, too,” she finally said, softly.
“Then please, will you let me talk to you? I can’t help but feel like you’re determined to avoid me completely.” My breath caught, awaiting her answer.
She let out an unladylike snort. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yes, but it would mean so much more if you actually wanted to be here.”
Again there was a moment of silence before she spoke. “I do want to be here . . . well, not necessarily here. I’m anxious about tonight, but I like being with you, I mean.”
That brought a smile to my lips and I did nothing to try and hide it. “Then try to relax. I’ll take care of you.”
Something hardened in her features, telling me right away that had been the wrong thing to say. “It’s hard for me to trust you. You’ve given me your word before and then you went back on it. I may still want to be around you, but it doesn’t mean you’re good for me. There’s so much water under the bridge with us. I don’t know how to get past it.”
Her words slammed into me like daggers straight to my core. It was obvious the wounds I’d left her with were deep. And even though I didn’t like remembering how badly I’d hurt her, it gave me hope that if our past still affected her this strongly, maybe there was some possibility for us.
“So let’s not think about that and try to find some common ground again. Tell me some more about yourself.” I was desperate to steer her away from anger.
“Like what?” Her hazel colored eyes held my attention, and I remembered how I used to get lost staring into them. Damn, she was so gorgeous.
I went straight for what I really wanted to know. “Have there been . . . others in your life? Other men, I mean.” I braced myself for the answer. She was a catch and there was no way they were all dumb enough to pass on perfection. Just thinking about guys sniffing around her made my fists clench. Not that I could complain. I was the one who’d ditched her after all. I was a shit-faced motherfucker.
“Not really.” She seemed hesitant to proceed. “After I decided to stay here, I spent all my time trying to secure a job and make ends meet to survive. Once my parents realized I wasn’t coming back home, they decided to sell the farm and move out here next to me. We actually own houses side by side now, in a very nice family oriented neighborhood.”
“They sold the farm?” I couldn’t believe it. Brent and Daphne loved that farm more than anything.
Instantly, I was back in Montana, wearing a pair of cowboy boots, jeans, and a t-shirt, stacking bags of feed in the Hart’s barn. I could even smell the straw of the hayloft and hear the sounds of the animals.
It was funny how my memories always returned first to that day—the only day in my life I’d felt truly complete—the day I’d lain with Aubrey. I could still remember the way it felt to be inside her, to hear her moans fill the air as I made her come over and over again. After the barn, I’d followed her into the house. We’d showered together, and then gone into her room to get dressed. I’d taken her one more time, in her own bed, slowly worshipping her. I couldn’t get enough of her.
It was funny, too. I’d always felt that once I took her, it would ease some of my need for her, but no. It was exactly the opposite. Each time only made me want her more.
She was my true addiction. It didn’t matter how long I lived, I’d never be able to get enough of Aubrey Hart.
We’d snuggled after that last time together, and I relished holding her naked body in my arms. Afterward, we showered together again, and then she came outside to help me catch up on the chores before her parents got home.
They invited me for dinner that night and I said yes, even though I knew it would postpone my dad getting his dinner. I simply wanted to stare at Aubrey a while longer and think about all the incredible things we’d done together that day.
Absently, I replied to conversation that her parents drew me in to, unable to keep my thoughts off the beauty sitting across the table from me.
“I love your daughter,” I blurted out during a quiet moment, and Daphne laughed.
“We’ve been wondering how long it would take you to admit it,” she said.
“It’s about damn time,” Brent grumbled, flashing me an amused glance before taking another bite of his steak.
“You knew?” I asked, surprised.
“We aren’t blind, son. I’d wager you’ve been in love with her for a long, long time.”
I had been. And looking back, I realized it was the reason my relationships before her had failed. I hadn’t really wanted any of those girls. I’d only wanted Aubrey, but I was afraid to pursue her. If she turned me down it would ruin everything we had between us. I couldn’t risk that. She was too precious to me.
“I want to come back for her when I’m all settled in and know what’s going on. I want her to come live in LA with me.”
Aubrey knew all of this already, of course. We’d been planning it ever since I’d won this contract. We’d never discussed it with her parents, though.
“I think that sounds so romantic,” her mom said with a dreamy smile.
Brent, however, seemed less enthusiastic. “She’s my little girl, Zane. I may love you like a son, but I’d sooner shoot you than look at you if you ever hurt my baby.”
Grinning, I nodded, not the least bit worried. “I’d never hurt, Aubrey. She’s my world.” I stared across the table and she smiled at me, radiantly.
“Then come talk to me when you get all settled. We will see about things then.”
Nodding, I felt joy surge through me. We were both eighteen, so legally I knew they couldn’t stop us, but I still wanted their approval. Brent and Daphne had been like parents to me, when I didn’t have any. I wanted them to trust me. And when the time was right, I hoped they’d welcome me into their family for real—as their son-in-law.
I couldn’t believe how everything I’d always wanted was falling into place. It was as if even the universe desired me to have my every wish. My life was perfect. My girl was perfect. Nothing could derail me now.
How wrong I’d been. I didn’t know when I hugged them all goodbye, and whispered sweet words of comfort to my tear stained girl, that it would be the last time I saw any of them.
I didn’t know I was trading in my Heaven for pure Hell. Had I known what was about to happen, I would’ve never been able to get in my truck and drive away.
Yes, hindsight was everything. And I knew now I’d fucked up my life in the worst way possible. The problem was, I had no idea how to fix it. I wasn’t sure if it would ever be normal again.
For the millionth time, my thoughts drifted back to how it felt to be with her, inside her, moving together. I’d never feel complete again if I couldn’t find my way back to her.