My boy was still watching me from the sidewalk where I’d left him. He better not had been staring at her ass or I’ll end him. Dog that he is. He likes ‘em skinny anyway, fool that he is.

“Seriously Logan? You’re picking up women in parking lots now?” He laughed and took a step back from the look I gave him. I wasn’t about to discuss her with his skuzzy ass. Freak!

I looked back when I heard her leave the parking lot. I knew it was her because there was nothing else in the lot amidst the luxury cars and SUVs that would make that fucked up noise.

“Logan Carter Junior what were you doing with that child?”

“Hi grandma.” I leaned over the counter to kiss the old curmudgeon’s cheek.

“You know her?”

“Yes I do, that’s Charlie’s granddaughter. She’s just moved here to be with her grandmother after a nasty divorce.” The fuck!

“She’s divorced?” Dammit to fuck, someone else

had been that close to my girl? Worse yet, she’d loved someone else enough to walk down the aisle? Don’t ask me why I was pissed but I was. That shit can only mean baggage.

There’s nothing meaner than a divorced female on a man hating crusade. Since my dick was still having fond memories of her plump ass and superb tits I guess I didn’t really have much of a choice at this point.

“Yes, poor thing. She got married right out of college and that son of a bitch cheated on her two years later. Well to hear Charlie tell it, the bastard was cheating from day one.”

I looked back out the plate glass window where of course her car was long gone. What kinda brain dead asshole would cheat on that? Then my grandma’s words registered and I felt a little bit of hope.

Charlie is my grandmother’s best friend Charlotte. The two women share the same name and have been friends for the past fifty years or so. But this was the first I was hearing about a granddaughter.

I knew she had family back east, but then again I haven’t lived at home in almost fifteen years myself so it’s no surprise that I don’t know shit.

“She living here now?”

“Boy didn’t you just hear me say that? Now take this stuff your mama sent you for, she’s been waiting all morning.”

She gave me a look that would freeze malt liquor and shoved the parcel into my hands. I grinned and stole another kiss and the old hellion swatted at me making me laugh outright.

I felt better as I left the store because I knew that even if she didn’t call me, I now knew where to find her. There was a new swag in my walk when I headed out to my truck, already planning our first date.

I watched him leave and head for that monster he drives before picking up the phone. “Charlie, we have lift off. It went just as planned.”

“Well I guess you do know that grandson of yours. How was my girl? When she left here she was still looking like she lost her damn dog. I don’t know what it is with these young women today. Losing their minds over these shiftless bums.”

“She’s young Charlie and thought she was in love. From what I saw out my window things didn’t go too bad so who knows. Maybe she’ll have a smile on her face again before long.”

“I hope so. I ain’t getting any younger and neither are you. We need some great grand-babies to bounce on our knees. That damn Dorothy thinks she’s the bees knees because she’s already got two.”

“Well yeah, that’s because she was a grand-mamma at thirty-two.”

“Now you know you wrong for that.” That didn’t stop her from laughing her fool head off though.

“Let me call my Emma and let her know the goings on before Logan gets back to her place. We still on for drinks tonight?” I could already taste the watermelon martinis she was known for.

It’s a standing date every other night in the summer at either one of our places. We sit out on the back porch, put our feet up and get our drink on. We’ve been doing it twenty years and counting with no letup in sight.

“You know it. Somebody set the barometer on hell and I’m sweating my tits off.”

“Girl now you know at our age they don’t call them tits no mo.”

“What the hell they call ‘em then?”

“Floppers; damn things damn near down to my knees.”

“Speak for yourself. I got me a new bra down at that new lingerie place and mine are standing high and firm on my chest.” She hooted her ass off at that one.

“You a lying ass, I got the same damn bra and all I see is folded wrinkles when I put that thing on. Now you done nursed as many babies as me so I know. Don’t forget I’ve seen you without your blouse on old woman.”

“Who you calling old? I’m all of two days older than you.” She snickered and did my heart good. Poor thing’s been worrying about her grand baby for months now.

“Older is older hunty. Anyway lemme go. I’ll call you back later if there’re any new developments.” I hurried and hung up the phone to call my middle child and let her know her son was on his way back.

If that boy ever finds out the three of us were meddling in his life there’d be hell to pay. At least his mama would catch hell. He knows better than to try his mess with me.

As my favorite grandchild, something I would go to the gallows denying if anybody asked, I have to look out for my boy. I ain’t getting any younger and I hate the fact that of all the young’uns he’s the only one not settled down.

He went out to that California with the other heathens and was raising hell for the past ten or so years, dipping his wick in anything that wasn’t nailed down. Now it’s time for him to stop his nonsense and put down some roots.

I’m not too excited about having one of those things he usually pants after at my Thanksgiving table so it’s up to me and his mama to lead him in the right direction.

I don’t care who calls me nosy or meddling, I know what I know. These young people think they know every damn thing that’s why the divorce rate is so damn high.

Who better to choose your mate than the people who know you best? I changed his shitty diapers and wiped his snotty nose, you telling me I don’t know my boy? That shit don’t make no damn sense.

So, with that thought in mind, his mama and I have been on the lookout. Just our luck Charlie’s grand baby came up single just in the nick of time. It’s only because she’s my best friend’s grand baby that I don’t mind that she’s divorced.

Usually I would’ve chosen a nice little virgin bride for my boy, but someone like that may not be able to handle him. If he’s anything like his daddy, my son in law, he’s a handful.

Our Belle might have been married but the girl ain’t ever known a real man if you ask me. My Logan is just what she needs to bring her out of her funk either way.

Charlie and I had come up with the idea when we read about his latest affair with one of them Hollywood strumpets coming to an end in one of those magazines we live by since he moved out there.

My daughter wants her boy home where she can keep an eye on him so she was more than happy to get on board. And no matter how his daddy told us to stay out of his son’s business, we know what we know.

“Emma, it’s back to you.” I didn’t even let my child get out the first hello when she picked up the phone on the other end. Time is of the essence when you’re planning people’s lives for them after all.

“He talked to her?”

“Yep! Never seen anything like it in all my days. Made a beeline for her as soon as he saw her behind crossing the lot.”

“Makes you wonder why he wasted all those years on those beanpoles.”

“Didn’t I tell you? I know my grand baby. Anyway he should be there soon seeing as how he drives like he’s the only one on the road.”

“Okay mama thanks, I’ll do my part on this end. Logan Carter I’ll thank you to stay out of my business. He’s my son too….” She hung up the phone and went to fuss at her husband who was grumbling something or other in the background.

If only he knew that he’d been set up over thirty-five years ago he wouldn’t be barking that loud. Charlie and I have been at this for the better part of forty years and don’t plan to stop anytime soon.

These folks can say what they want, but the only two divorces in either family happened because we didn’t have a hand in the choosing and I’ll go to my grave believing that.

Us old people don’t get much respect these days but we know what we know. That’s why we have marriages that last until death, do us part. But does anyone listen to us? Nope!

That’s why we have to resort to underhanded tactics and shenanigans. I don’t care how we get there as long as we reach I’m fine with that.

That said, I know my grand baby and he’d have ten kinds of fits if he thinks we’re meddling in his business. The boy always did have a stubborn streak a mile wide.

I know though that by this time next year if all goes well, he’d be good and wed with a baby on the way or knowing him, one already here.

And that poor girl’s heart would be healed so she don’t even remember the name of that dickless bastard and the sea hag she thought was her friend.

With the first stage set in place I went back to work tending the antiques shop that has been in my family for four generations and counting.

My mind has been more at ease since we sweet talked the boy into coming back home a few weeks ago. I knew once we got him to say yes that it could only mean one thing.

He was tired of life in the fast lane and was ready to settle his busy ass down. He had more than enough money in the bank to be a husband and father to a few bigheaded children, so why not.

The doorbell jingled and I looked up to see who was coming in. Well shit! “Charlotte, was that your grandson I just saw leave here?”

“Yes it was.” Mavis Barstow is about the nosiest somebody in three states. Not only that, everyone knows she’s looking for victim number three for that loose crotch daughter of hers, not my baby.

“When did he get back, is he home for good?” That gleam in your eye ain’t fooling nobody heifer. “Don’t get too excited, he’s already spoken for.”

And if he wasn’t I’d shoot him dead before I let that succubus you spawned get her hooks into him. That girl been married twice. Both for money while she hopped on every swinging dick in the county. No thanks.

I didn’t feel bad when her face fell and she went about her business looking around the shop for something else to put in her saditty house. Somebody should’ve told her by now that you can’t buy class.

My husband was forever getting after me for being judgmental when he was alive, but I don’t see telling the truth as being such. If someone shows you her true colors, what the hell are you supposed to do?

The woman said out of her own mouth that she slept her way up and taught her child the same. Now I don’t know about anyone else, but that sounds shady as all hell to me.

I have to remember to keep an eye on her all the same, because once she gets the bit between her teeth she’s known to do whatever it takes to get what she wants.

My grandson is a catch and everybody around here knows it. Then again they know me too, and unless she wants to find herself at the end of my wrath she’d steer clear. Humph!