I checked my watch for the fourth time and gave some serious thought to heading out to aunt Charlie’s place. I wasn’t getting anything done anyway so I might as well.

I barely restrained myself because for some reason, I wanted her to make the call. Looking back I can see where I’d come on a little strong and may have scared the little filly some.

Especially now that I know she’d just gone through a divorce. She probably has a strong hate for men right now, but I wasn’t about to let that shit stop me no how.

“Ma, what’s going on? You need something?” That’s the third time I caught her peeping through the curtains at me. Not sure what she’s after but I know it’s something.

“Oh nothing son, I’m expecting a package is all.” She disappeared from the window and I took a walk down to the paddock to watch the horses.

It was nice to be back in my hometown where life was like three speeds behind everywhere else. It had taken some getting used to the first few days back, but I had finally found my stride again and was over the fear that I’d made a mistake.

After years in the entertainment business, behind the scenes of course, I’ve decided to come back home to my roots and do some things. But it was like culture shock being back in the fold after being on my own for so long.

I’d grown a bit tired though, of life and the way that shit was going. Even before my grandma and mama started their nagging shit. So one day I’d just said the hell with it and packed up for home.

It’s easy to do that shit when you have money. Not that my family was hard up before. We’ve always been comfortable, I’ve just always wanted more. At least I used to think I did.

I used to want the bright lights and fast pace. No family around to eyeball my shit? I was here for it. But in the last year or so I started getting restless and missing the simpler things in life.

Like the sweet smell of grass after a hard rain. The feel of the sun on my face as I ride the back forty on my family’s land that has been in our hands for the past two hundred years.

Ginger lemonade on the back porch, swatting flies. And the sound of my mama’s laughter as she cut up on the front porch on a warm summer’s day with her girlfriends.

My mind went to the beauty I’d just met a few hours ago and I felt that thing in my gut that told me something good was waiting for me right around the corner. I could see her here, in the midst of my sweet childhood memories.

I’ve always had a sixth sense about certain things in life; never felt it with a woman before though. But I’m comfortable enough with that shit to know not to ignore what my gut is telling me.

At thirty two almost thirty three, I’m also grown enough to know the difference between lust and a strong like. Lust I’d left behind on the streets of L.A. What I saw and felt in that parking lot this morning was so much more.

More than that, for the first time it’s something I want to explore beyond the norm. For a female to stay on my mind this long for something more than getting the skins, I know there has to be something there.

I held my hand out to the fractious little filly that gamboled over to me and smiled when she nudged it out of the way. Another sassy female. She snorted at me and gave me the eye roll while butting her head at me.

“You’re a mean one ain’t you girl?” She wasn’t having it. She was more interested in the sugar cube I had hidden in my pocket. As I ran my hand over her mane and she snorted at me, I thought of another filly that I wanted to tame.

Like magic my phone rang and I damn near broke my arm getting it out of my back pocket. “ You’ve reached Logan.” I didn’t even have to look at the readout, my body’s reaction told me all I needed to know.

“This is Belle.”

“Hello Belle, I’m glad you decided to call.” I fed the horse her sugar cube, patted her goodbye and walked away. I was giddy as a kid falling in love for the first. Fuck, not that nightmare again.

“I’m coming to get you.” Dead silence for a long few seconds and then. “What? You don’t know where I am.” She sounded like she expected to turn around and see me walking up behind her.

“Yeah I do. Don’t freak, I’ll tell you how I know when I get there. If you get nervous between now and then ask your grandma about me, but don’t you dare go anywhere.”

I hung up quick before she could try to talk me out of it or voice any objections. She’s either gonna think I’m nuts or a stalker at this point. My game is fucked with this one.

I don’t give a fuck what she thinks in the beginning, it’s what she learns in the not too distant future that I’m more concerned about.

I’d be the first to admit that I know nothing at all about dating a prospective wife or long term girlfriend. So far all my contacts were little more than hookups.

But I have at least one thing going for me here, I know what I want. Just the fact that I’m even having this conversation with myself says a lot. The girl’s got me halfway hooked and she didn’t even try.

I hopped into my truck and waved to mom who was back on her peeping shit again and sped down the driveway leaving dust behind. It’s the only way to drive in these parts. Brings back memories.

For some reason, maybe because I was on my way to see her, everything around me looked different. Even the white ranch fencing that ran through the property to the large iron gates looked brighter.

Maybe it’s because I was low key imagining her here. I could see us taking long walks in the evenings, just as the sun reaches the western sky over the trees.

I never brought a woman home before, not even when I was in high school or college. I’ve always respected the significance of introducing a woman to my family and never once felt the urge; until now.

I looked down at my dick that seemed to be getting harder the closer I got to the turnoff to her grandmother’s place. Shit was throbbing like a toothache. Greedy bastard would show his ass now.

It’s because of him that I got to her in ten minutes instead of twenty. “Listen you. When we get in there, I’ma need you to behave yourself. Stay the fuck down and whatever you do, don’t poke ‘er.”

I knew his ass wasn’t listening because he was already sniffing the air. Once I got my mind off of him, it turned to more serious matters. Like what exactly was waiting for me beyond that door.

Am I walking into the rest of my life? Or is this just going to turn out to be one of those things that I find it easy to walk away from? The thumping of my heart told me different.

In fact I knew before I came here that I meant to take more from her than I ever have before with anyone. Even more, I want to give her more than I’ve ever shared.

Had I had other intentions, I wouldn’t be here. She’s the granddaughter of my grandma’s best friend. Not someone I would trifle with lightly. She’s also the first woman I’ve ever wanted with such intensity.

“Okay Logan, don’t fuck this up.” I got out and walked up to the door, ringing the bell like a stranger instead of the kid who’d spent many a summer day here in the past.

Because I wasn’t here to see the grandmotherly woman who’d helped raise me along with my family, but the other one. It was in essence our first date after all.

I wiped my palms up and down the leg of my jeans as I waited, acknowledging the strangeness of me being here like this at this time. I’d been in this exact spot many times as a child. Who knew that one day I’d be here for this?

That got me to thinking of why I’d never seen her here before. If she’s who I think she is then her mother had married some kind of diplomat who’d lived outside of the country.

Aunt Charlie had so many kids and grandkids though that it was hard to know who was who. “Hi aunt Charlie.” I wrapped my arms around the tiny elderly woman who was as much my grandma as the real one when she answered the door.

“Don’t you hi me you scamp. You’ve been home for a good long while already and not even a phone call.” I kissed her wrinkled cheek and that, with the scent of my favorite peach cobbler cooking in the kitchen, brought back such great memories.

“I’m sorry about that, it won’t happen again I promise.” I grinned down at her, enjoying her sass.

“You see that it don’t.” I looked over her shoulder but my girl didn’t make an appearance.

“So what brings you here?” From the smile she gave me I got the idea she already knew the answer to that. I felt that intense pressure in my chest and my pulse picked up speed.

The enormity of what I was about to do hit me all at once. This wasn’t something I could come back from. Due to the respect and love I have for this woman, there’s no way I can take her kin to my bed and treat her like a casual fling.

Still, with those thoughts in my head, the decision was an easy one. “I’m here for Belle!” The words weren’t as frightening as I thought they would be, and I felt the constriction in my chest ease.

“Well now!” She blushed and turned to head back into the house. “Come on in here.” I followed her into the kitchen and found my treasure sitting at the table looking nervous as hell.

I felt my body relax at the sight of her. It wasn’t my imagination. In fact in this relaxed setting she was even more beautiful than I remembered. I hadn’t noticed the smattering of freckles across her cute little nose before.

My eyes travelled across her lips and back up to her eyes. It was the look of uncertainty with a tinge of fear that sealed the deal for me. Her insecurity made me feel stronger, almost protective. Like I was responsible for her feelings or something along those lines. I was amazed at all the differing emotions she’d made me feel in the few hours that I’d known her.

I saw the fight in her to keep her eyes on mine and not look away and wondered who the asshole was that had put that look of self doubt in her eyes. My heart tore just a little bit at what she must be feeling.

It grinds me up when I see a beautiful woman lose herself over what is usually an undeserving asshole. I myself have always treated women with the utmost respect. As much as I fucked around, I never lied to any one of them, and went out of my way to never give them false hope.

I’ve seen enough divorces in my time to know that it’s a destructive force that have felled some of the strongest people I know. She’d already been through that. Already had her heart trampled no doubt.

She looks like the type that believed in love and happily ever after. Could I take this next step and ask her to open herself up like that again? I know what I’ll ask of her, but am I truly willing to give her what it would take?

There was pain in her eyes. If you looked hard enough, deep enough, you could see it. Pain caused by another man. Someone she’d loved at one time I’m sure.

I guess I’m gonna have to work on that little spark of jealousy I feel every time I think of her with another man. It’s a new wrinkle in the fabric of my life, caring that she’d been with someone else.

It didn’t matter, I was here now. But for how long? I wanted her no doubt about that. But I’m the guy who never thought he’d settle down. The thought of being with one woman for the rest of my life use to break me out in a sweat.

But with her it seems my playbook was outdated. Nothing felt like the norm about this shit, which means I’m basically playing it by ear.

I know that if I open this door there are only one of two ways this thing could end. Either I claim her as mine, something that strikes fear in my gut even as I stand here looking at her with want.

Or I use her like I always do and move on when I’ve had my fill. I’m not the man to do some fucked up shit like that to a woman who’s already been fucked over by some asshole with a dick. I guess I have my answer.