I can hardly believe your time here is over!”

Amelia clung to Harmonia, as though she might never let her go.

“I know, but we must return to London to see papa,” Harmonia murmured, rubbing Amelia’s back soothingly. “You are a little fraught because of your pregnancy, are you not? You will see us all again very soon.”

Amelia sniffed and dried her eyes, managing to give them a watery smile. “I feel as though I am travelling in uncharted waters, even though women have been having children long before me.” Her countenance grew a little sad. “It is times like this that I truly miss mama.”

Jessica tried not to cry, her heart already pained over the loss of Lord Warwick. She had spent another week with Amelia since Major Ridding’s ball but had not seen Lord Warwick at all. Apparently what Major Ridding had said was true – he had left his estate and gone in search of a bride. A better lady than her.

“Do not cry, Amelia,” Jacintha crooned, shooting a smile at Jessica. “Who knows? In time, you may have one of your sisters living close by.”

Jessica shook her head, warning Jacintha not to say anything more, before reaching for Amelia. The carriage was ready and waiting and Jessica, having kissed Amelia’s cheek, climbed inside.

Waving frantically, she and her sisters watched Lord Northfell and Amelia for as long as they could, until the carriage turned around the corner and they were gone from sight.

“Did you see how he put his arm around her?” Jacintha sighed, her expression a little dreamy. “I hope to find a husband just like that, one day.”

Harmonia smiled, her gaze shifting to Jessica. “We have not seen Lord Warwick for some time,” she said, one eyebrow lifting slightly. “He did not come to say goodbye. Is all well between you, Jessica? I had thought that….”

“As had I,” Jacintha exclaimed, as Harmonia trailed off. “You have been very quiet too, Jessica. Whatever is the matter?”

Try as she might, Jessica found that she could not prevent tears from falling from her eyes. She had been holding back her emotions from her sisters for a full week, not saying a word to any of them as she struggled to come to terms with what Major Ridding had told her. The kindness and compassion of her two sisters broke away the walls she had built around herself and, much to her embarrassment, Jessica began to cry in earnest.

Harmonia exclaimed in surprise, shifting in her seat to come to sit next to Jessica, as the carriage swayed along the road. She put a comforting arm on Jessica’s shoulder whilst Jacintha pressed a handkerchief into her hand, patting it gently.

“Come now, Jessica,” Harmonia said softly, her eyes filled with concern. “Tell us what the matter is. You are worrying us both!”

“Oh, I am sorry,” Jessica sniffed, feeling as though she had broken down a dam and let everything drain out at once. “I have been trying to keep it all to myself but I could not do it any longer. Not when you are both being so kind to me.”

Jacintha patted her hand again before sitting back in her seat, her expression confused. “Is it about Lord Warwick?”

“Yes,” Jessica admitted, sniffing in a most unladylike manner. “I am not quite sure what to make of it all. I had thought everything was going splendidly between us.”

“As did we all,” Harmonia replied, firmly. “I had thought you were close to losing your heart to him, Amelia. Are you telling me now that it this is not the case?

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Jessica drew in a few breaths and tried to regain her composure. Haltingly, she told them what Major Ridding had said, seeing the astonishment on their faces.

“And so it seems that Lord Warwick is determined to find a wife from within society,” she finished, wretchedness overwhelming her. “I cannot say why I am not good enough but it appears that he does not consider me good enough to be his bride.”

Jacintha frowned, shaking her head. “No, that cannot be so,” she exclaimed, firmly. “Goodness me, Jessica, you are the daughter of a duke! You have a good dowry and an understanding of how to run a household, so why would he not consider you?”

Jessica opened her mouth to refute her sister’s words, only to find that she could not. There was nothing about her that, in society’s eyes, made her an undesirable match, and she had thought both she and Lord Warwick shared a great many of the same ideals.

“We talked so often about travelling and about seeing more of the world,” she said, brokenly. “We seemed so alike, so similar, so I never once considered that he would reject me so.”

“It does not make any sense,” Harmonia declared, her eyes narrowing just a little as she studied Jessica’s expression. “I know you said Major Ridding told you this, Jessica, but are you quite certain you can believe him?”

“Of course I can,” Jessica replied at once, surprised that Harmonia would even suggest such a thing. “Why should I not? He is very dear friends with Lord Warwick and has been for some years. Nothing can be gained from telling me such a thing, especially when it appears to be quite true.”

Harmonia paused, her eyes darting out of the window as she thought. “Are you quite sure he is gone?”

Lifting one shoulder, Jessica sighed heavily, hoping she would not dissolve into tears again. “Why else would he not come and see me?” she whispered, her voice too broken to speak loudly. “Why would his visits end so abruptly if it were not exactly as Major Ridding had said?”

Shaking her head, Harmonia remained unconvinced. “I must remind you, Jessica, of our own dear sister, Amelia. She was deceived by a man who had other intentions for her beloved. He told her lies in an attempt to separate her from Lord Northfell, don’t you remember? A man is not always as honest as he seems.”

Jessica considered this, taking in Harmonia’s serious nature and recalling with great clarity exactly what Amelia had gone through. At the time, Jessica had thought her sister a little ridiculous to be thrown back and forth in how she thought and felt about a single gentleman, based on what another told her, but now she found herself in a rather similar situation.

“No, it cannot be the same!” she exclaimed, after thinking it over for a few minutes more. “My sister spoke to a man who did not know Lord Northfell particularly well and who was shown to be no friend of Lord Northfell’s either. In this case, I am speaking to a man who I have something of an acquaintance with and who has a deep friendship with Lord Warwick. I cannot see what Major Ridding hopes to gain from this.”

“Unless he wants you for himself,” Jacintha suggested, her eyes widening just a little. “After all, he has paid you a great deal of attention.”

“No more than to you!” Jessica protested, weakly. “He danced with me, yes, but he also danced with you. I believe he only grew close to me so that he might share with me, privately, the truth about Lord Warwick.” She turned her face away from her sisters, looking out of the window and trying not to acknowledge that what Jacintha said could hold a modicum of truth. Major Ridding had seemed to want to press his attentions on her, to the point that she had been forced to make her lack of reciprocation very clear. That had not been something he had liked, given the expression on his face, but Jessica thought that the man was genuine enough not to hold that kind of grudge against her. He would not tell her something untrue about Lord Warwick so that she might fall into his arms in return! That seemed quite impossible.

“He is an officer in the army,” she continued, still refusing to look at her sisters. “That means he has integrity and honesty deep within him. I cannot believe that he would do such a thing, no matter what you suggest. Whether or not he seeks my hand, I believe that he puts my best interests first. What he has said had been shown to be absolutely true. Lord Warwick is not at his estate. He has left and gone to London. And, now, I must wish him every happiness with whatever lady he chooses to be his bride.” Her voice, which had begun so loud and clear, slowly died away, the ache in her heart never fading as she considered what she had shared with Lord Warwick.

She had lost her heart to him and now, it seemed, it was destined to remain his even though he had gone from her. She could not marry now, not when she loved the man so. A love such as she held for him did not easily burn out, did not easily flee from one’s heart. It was his name that was seared there, his name that she clung to despite what he had done. Even though every hope was gone, dying slowly before her like cooling embers, she continued to love him. It was a feeling she did not want, a desire she rejected utterly, yet there it remained. She would most likely go to her grave with his name still on her lips.

“What if Major Ridding pursues you, once we return to London?” Jacintha asked, breaking into her thoughts. “Will you consider him, Jessica? After all, he is a titled gentleman, although he eschews his responsibilities which some may find rather damning!”

“I cannot think that father would approve either,” Harmonia murmured, just as a bolt of anger shot up Jessica’s spine.

“I do not care who approves and who does not,” she exclaimed, turning around to face both her sisters. “I shall marry whom I choose, when I choose and should it be a military man who will take me across the seas to some far off lands, then so be it! This is my choice and I will not have you try to coerce me in any way!”

Glaring at them each in turn, Jessica turned once more to look at the views from outside the carriage. The air seemed to grow thick, making it a little difficult to breathe. Jessica drew in breath after breath, her hands curling into fists as the nails dug into her soft palms.

“We did not mean to upset you further, Jessica,” Harmonia said, after a few minutes of silence had passed. “I am sorry. I did not mean to question anything. You are quite right to say it is up to you alone.”

“I do apologise,” Jacintha murmured, her voice low and tired. “Forgive me for trying to help.”

Jessica closed her eyes and drew in one long breath, her anger slowly beginning to ebb away. Her hands slowly loosened, her shoulders settling. She was not angry with them. The truth was, she was upset about Lord Warwick and how he had left her, frustrated with him for being so callous.

“It is I who should apologise,” she confessed, turning her head to face them both. “I quite lost my temper. I have been bottling this up for such a long time and it has just now all come out in a rush.” She managed to give them both a smile, suddenly feeling incredibly tired. “Might I ask you not to share this with either Amelia or papa? I know that they both want my best but I am not quite ready to share how I feel, especially not with papa.”

Harmonia smiled and put her hand on Jessica’s, warming Jessica’s cold hands. “Of course we will not say a word,” she smiled, although Jessica could see the sympathy in her eyes. “But know that we are here for you to talk to whenever you need. Do not carry this burden alone any longer, Jessica. Promise me you will not.”

Jessica felt tears clog her throat and managed only to nod, feeling as though she was going to pieces and that the only thing keeping her together was the love and support of her sisters.

“And Lord Warwick is quite foolish to choose another over you,” Jacintha added, firmly. “You are a beautiful creature, Jessica, and you deserve a husband who will see you as the treasure you are. If I ever see Lord Warwick again, I shall tell him so myself, have no doubt about that.”

Jessica could not reply, dabbing at her eyes with her handkerchief and squeezing Harmonia’s hand in thanks. While her two sisters turned the conversation to other things, Jessica thought of nothing else but Lord Warwick, her heart aching the closer they got to London. Would she ever see him again? Would she ever have the opportunity to ask him why he had treated her with such callous disregard? Or was she doomed to never knowing, her heart always crying out for the man she loved?