Chapter Fifteen
“What the hell were you thinking?”
Ellie blinked as Chase took her by the shoulder and gave her a little shake. She wanted to swat him away like a fly, every cell of her body screaming at her to run after Nate.
She’d made the right decision, hadn’t she? She and Nate would never work. They couldn’t. Even her own brother didn’t believe in them.
But the pain that had flashed through Nate’s eyes before he’d slammed through the door told a different story. Had she just thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to her because she was scared? Scared of being out of control? Of being just another woman who passed through his life, when he, of all people, had always made her feel special?
Wasn’t that her answer right there?
“Ellie!” This time Chase did shake her a bit, and she rounded on him. He blinked at the ferocity of her expression, holding up his free hand in surrender.
“Whoa. Settle down.” He took a cautious step back, clearly not having forgotten the warning signs of his sister about to fly into a rage. “I’m just looking out for you.”
“You know, I’m getting damn sick of living my life according to how other people think I should.” Ellie shoved away from her brother, stooping to pick up the hair pins that Nate had scattered on the floor. Turning so that she didn’t have to look at Chase, she jammed them back into her hair at random, not caring about the end result.
“What do you mean?” This time, when she looked at her brother, she found him rocking back on his heels, studying her, but with the traces of judgment gone.
He just looked puzzled, and Ellie wanted to smack him upside his thick skull.
“I mean that everyone in this family, in this town, has always expected me to act a certain way. To be the smart one, the well-behaved one. The one who never makes a fuss.” Ellie jabbed the last pin into her hair, wincing as it scraped along the tender skin of her scalp. With nothing else for her hands to do, she clasped her skirt in damp palms again. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe that’s not who I really am?”
“And you think that Nate sees you the way you really are?” Chase asked incredulously. “I suppose you see the real him? That you’re the only one who understands him? El, if you knew half of what he was into—”
“Maybe he and I aren’t quite as different as you think.” Ellie spoke quietly, waiting a moment for the words to soak in. When Chase flinched, she knew she’d hit her bullseye. “And I’m going to tell you right now, what is or isn’t between myself and Nate is none of your damn business. It’s not Mom’s business, it’s not anyone in this town’s business. Mom never understood about Nate, but I thought you did. He was your best friend and you let him down too.” She shook her head sadly. “Nathan Archer is so much more than any of you have ever given him credit for.”
Tossing the key card at her brother, Ellie slammed out of the room that she’d so neatly decorated, and as soon as she passed through the doors, urgency overtook her. It might have taken her dumbass of a brother to make her see the truth, but the words she’d just spoken?
They were absolutely on point. Nate was the best man she knew, and he’d been so, so right. Who cared who knew about them? Sure, she’d be embarrassed if in the end, he ditched her like he had so many other women. But would he? If she truly believed he was more than what others thought of him—didn’t she owe it to him, to herself, to give them a chance?
Her phone chimed, signalling an incoming text. Her heart leapt into her throat—maybe it was Nate.
It was Meredith.
TEXT:
To: Ellie
From: Meredith
I didn’t mean to sic Chase on you. Don’t be too mad at him.
Ellie narrowed her eyes. She’d be as mad as she wanted. But the second message thawed the ice, just a bit.
If you’re interested, I think Nate is getting ready to leave. I don’t think you’ll be surprised to hear this, since it’s my wedding day, but love is worth fighting for. Go get him. I’ll cover for you.
Urgency spurring her onward, Ellie quickened her pace, and then again until she was running.
Forgoing the elevator, she sprinted down the stairs.
She had to catch up to him, had to apologize for doubting him. She had to make this right.
Downstairs, she skidded to a stop just inside the doors of the hall where the reception was being held. Heart in her throat, she looked around frantically, her gaze seeking out every dark haired man that she could find.
“Are you all right, Ellie?” She looked up at the voice, finding Harry at her side, concern etched on his face. She saw him take in her wild hair, her messy makeup, and winced. “You seem… distressed.”
It was hard to come right out and ask, since asking seemed to be confirmation of her relationship with Nate, but hell. Wasn’t that why she was looking for him? “Have you seen Nate anywhere in the last few minutes? Nathan Archer?”
Harry’s mouth pinched together in a thin, judgmental line that made him look far less attractive than he had earlier. Yes, he seemed like a nice enough guy, but she was damn sick of being judged.
“Spare me the lecture, please.” She smiled politely, but didn’t bother to sugar coat her words. “I know you don’t approve. But if you could just tell me if he’s passed through here, that would be great.”
Harry sipped at his wine, seeming to mull over his choice of words. When he finally spoke, what he said had Ellie’s heart crashing to the floor.
“I’m sorry to upset you.” He set his glass on the table and reached for Ellie’s shoulder in a gesture that was likely meant to be comforting, but instead made Ellie’s skin crawl. “He did pass through here. But then he left. And, ah… how do I put this delicately? He wasn’t alone.”
“What?” That didn’t make sense. At all. It hadn’t been more than fifteen minutes since they’d been together in the honeymoon suite, and Ellie knew, she knew that those feelings he’d shown her there had been real. “Who was he with?”
“I’m sorry, Ellie.” To his credit, Harry squirmed. “It was one of the other bridesmaids.”
Ellie nearly doubled over as the impact of those words hit her. She had seen Nate chatting with Kate, the bridesmaid with the blue hair, earlier, but hadn’t thought much about it. But…
She, Ellie, had just stomped all over the feelings that Nate had offered her. Was it really so strange to think that he’d jump right back into his old ways? That he’d soothe the ache with another woman? And Kate was nowhere to be found, just like Nate. But … her heart just couldn’t bring herself to believe it.
“Excuse me for a second.” Holding up a finger, Ellie pulled out her cell phone. With trembling fingers, she pulled up Nate’s contact information.
It went straight to voicemail. Slowly, she set her phone back on the table, blinking helplessly up at Harry.
He patted her awkwardly on the shoulder. As one might a puppy. “I take it that things in that department are over?” He gestured to Ellie’s cell phone. “With Nate?”
She let a strangled noise escape her throat, not trusting any other words to come out.
“Right.” Harry picked up her phone, Ellie staring after him dumbly as his fingers slid over the screen. After a few seconds, he handed it back to her. “Well, like I said. Now that things have changed, I’d love to take you out sometime. I just added my number to your contacts.”
What?
“You just added your number to my contacts? While I’m sitting here with an obviously broken heart?” Slamming her phone down onto the table, Ellie stood, letting fury guide her actions.
Shock emanated from Harry as she rose to her full height, bristling under his gaze.
Was this really how people saw her? A woman so sweet that she’d put up with something like this—a man making a pass at her while she was feeling low and vulnerable?
Never. Again.
“You need to go, Harry. And don’t ever contact me again.”
“I think you’re overreacting just a bit. You’re upset.” Again, he patted her shoulder, and Ellie almost screamed. “When you calm down, you’ll see I’m just interested in you. Genuinely. And I’ll treat you right.”
Unlike some other men, were the words left unspoken.
And with that, Ellie had had it. She reached for the half full glass of wine that Harry had set on the table, and with one quick flick of her wrist, emptied the contents into his face.
He sputtered, and she gasped as he stared down at her in sheer disbelief.
She was pretty shocked herself, even as grim satisfaction swept through her for having finally, for once, stood up for herself. Even if she had overreacted. Sort of.
Then she heard applause. Turning, she found her cousin Holly standing beside the table, delight written across her face as she observed the scene in front of her.
“Why, you—” Harry grabbed a cloth napkin and started scrubbing at his shirt.
Ellie could have told him that he’d be just fine, since it was only white wine, but truly? In that moment she didn’t care.
“Oh, Harry. Get over yourself,” Holly said. Then, to Ellie’s shock, Holly handed Ellie her nearly full martini glass, as she made shooing motions at her ex-boyfriend. “She told you she was hurting and asked you to leave, and you were a prick. Just go.”
Harry made another series of unintelligible noises before doing just that, spinning on his heel and stomping away.
Ellie watched him go with her mouth hanging open, not quite able to believe what she’d done.
“I have to say, it’s nice to see you standing up for yourself for a change.” Holly shook her head when Ellie tried to hand back her drink, gesturing for Ellie to drink it herself. Not sure what else to do, Ellie did, slipping into one of the chairs at the empty table.
She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again, eyeing her cousin as she did.
Holly smirked as she slid into a seat across the table from Ellie, straightening the top of the dress that her ample bosom was threatening to spill out of.
Finally, Holly’s words penetrated the shock of her own behaviour. “What do you mean, it’s nice to see me standing up for myself?” Ellie narrowed her eyes at Holly suspiciously. A lifetime of barbs from the woman had taught her to be wary.
“Oh, relax. I’m not trying to be a bitch. Well, not any more than usual.” Holly waved a hand at Ellie. “I mean it. You’ve always let people push you around. Me included. It’s nice to see you get some backbone.”
“Are you drunk?” Ellie narrowed her eyes.
Holly laughed.
“Just a tiny bit tipsy. Just enough to say something I should have said a long time ago.”
Ellie was caught by surprise when Holly reached across the table for her hand. It was… well, it was freaking weird.
“I know I’ve always given you a hard time. You made it so easy, always being the good girl. I knew you’d never fight back and I’m just enough of a bitch to enjoy watching you squirm.” Holly made a face, and Ellie felt the irritation of a lifetime ripple over her skin. “But you’ve always had it all figured out. You knew what you wanted out of life, and you went and got it.”
What? Holly was envious of her?
“Trust me, I am so far from having it all figured out.” Ellie snorted indelicately, looking down at the last inch of liquid in her glass. Shrugging, she decided to be in for a penny, and drained it.
Holly barked out a harsh laugh. “You do too. You have a career.”
“I thought you said I was a purveyor of nerdware.”
“You live in the city.”
“Moving away isn’t exactly hard.”
“You have someone in your life who cares for you. Actually cares for you.” With this, Holly pierced Ellie with a stare. “Why haven’t you told anyone that you and Nate are together? Apart from Harry, of course.”
Ellie looked at Holly, and as Harry’s face, dripping with wine, played across her memory, she felt her lips twitch. Holly’s expression mirrored her own, and within seconds they were both giggling, picturing Harry’s expression as the nice girl he’d expected to spend the weekend with upended her drink in his face.
Once the laughter had died down, Ellie saw that Holly was still waiting for an answer to her question. And she wasn’t entirely sure that she had one.
“I…” It was a combination of things, and therefore not an easy one to answer. God, had it really been just a couple of days ago that she’d thought she wanted just a fling with Nate? That she’d been so sure she could protect her heart?
“Look.” Holly reached across the table again, catching her cousin’s fingers in hers and squeezing. Ellie stared down at their entwined hands, still puzzled by this newfound side of her relative. Had the queen bitch of Ruby Lake really changed? Probably not. That would be too much to ask. But she obviously had a side to her she’d never let Ellie see.
Just as Nate had a side he’d only let Ellie view.
Regret for her hasty behaviour wrapped around her and she sighed.
Releasing her, Holly gestured to the waiter for another drink. Ellie arched an eyebrow, noting the alcohol flush already spreading over the other woman’s skin. Holly was just tipsy enough for this conversation to happen, but she wasn’t so drunk that this wasn’t real.
“Do you love him?” Holly asked.
Ellie reeled, startled. She hadn’t been expecting that question. She hadn’t even let herself entertain the notion.
She had feelings for Nate, sure. She’d had them for a long time. And he’d awakened a sexual force inside of her that she hadn’t even known existed.
But love? Falling in love with him was just stupid.
Wasn’t it?
Or was she so far gone, she didn’t even have to think to answer the question? If she didn’t love him, she wouldn’t have pushed him away earlier.
“You know, some of us spend every waking moment searching for someone to love.” Sitting up straight as the waiter brought her fresh drink, Holly downed it in one swallow, then picked up her small clutch purse, clearly finished with the conversation. “If you’ve found it and you walk away from it for some stupid reason, then you deserve all the hell that I gave you over the years.”
And then she was gone, the strange conversation a mere echo, as though it might never even have happened.
Ellie sat still for a moment, turning it over in her mind.
Love. Could she admit that she loved Nate?
She was on her feet before she could even finish the thought. Hell yes, she loved Nate… she’d loved him for as long as she could remember.
And she’d do whatever it took to prove it to him.