I swallow hard, hoping I can keep the tears from welling in my eyes and spilling over.

An uncomfortable silence fills the small space as the friends all look quizzically at each other, shrugging and shaking their heads.

“What was that about?” Jace jerks a thumb in the direction Xavier fled.

My only consolation is nobody knows about our involvement, so the questions won’t be directed at me. I’ll just fade into the background and wait for this to pass. But I can’t lie; a part of me wants to go to him. Comfort him. Care and soothe him. It’s part of my nature. One I no longer take for granted and assume is boring. It’s who I am. I like that about me.

Only, I can’t go to him. He’s not mine to take care of. He’s made that choice. So I have to let it go.

“I have no idea,” Christopher says.

Ashley frowns. “Is he okay?”

“It doesn’t seem like it.” Christopher’s brows crease.

Only Ted and Shelly don’t say anything. But they both turn their heads and look at me, wearing identical expressions of speculation.

I flush, and look down at my drink. Swirling the wine in my glass.

Jace says, “Should someone go check on him?”

“Just leave him alone,” Ted says.

At that, there seems to be a collective group sigh, as though they are let off the hook. Since Ted is Xavier’s best friend, I assume he’s deemed the authority on what action to take regarding his erratic behavior.

Throat tight, I’m still studying my glass when the conversation commences, filling the hollow spaces around me.

Shelly’s hand touches mine and I jerk, looking at her. She tilts her head and says quietly, “Do you need to talk?”

The tears threaten, right up to the edge of my throat, making talking impossible. I shake my head, yanking my hand from beneath hers in a far too telling gesture.

She frowns and whispers, “Come on. Let’s go.”

Again I shake my head.

“I can’t take no for an answer.” Her eyes soften. “It’s okay, your secrets are safe with me.”

Oh god. My eyes fill. I can’t. I cannot cry here. I need a moment to collect myself. I want to tell her I’m fine, but the words are lodged deep, unable to come from my lips. I shift away, to stand and escape. But then I stare up into Xavier’s face, and I sit back down.

His expression—I can’t read it—it’s desolate. Or haunted or something.

Everyone stills.

I want to look away, but I can’t.

I blink, and twin tears track down my cheeks before I brush them frantically away.

“Tessa.” Xavier’s voice is strained, almost cracking at the very end of my name.

Helpless, I gaze at him.

Everyone is watching us, waiting.

Suddenly, Xavier drops down to his knees, shocking me as nothing else could. He puts his hands on my thighs and squeezes before looking into my eyes.

Somewhere from my left I hear a gasp, but I can’t look away.

His lips part as though he’s going to say something, but then he stops, shakes his head, licks his lips and tries again. “I love you.”

The words shock me as nothing else could have; unable to believe I heard them. Xavier doesn’t love anyone, least of all me. He doesn’t want to. Ever. He’s been very clear on that. Everyone knows that, me especially. I shake my head.

“Yes. I love you.” The statement is clearer now, more sure.

Ashley says, “What is—”

“Sssshh.” Shelly cuts her off.

I can only blink, unable to process what is going on.

Xavier’s hold tightens on my legs. “Please, I know I’ve been a complete idiot. My only excuse is I’ve never been in love before and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“No,” I whisper, and more tears slip from my lashes.

“Yes. I’ve always said I didn’t want to be in a relationship, and that’s not true, I just didn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone but you.”

I want to believe, but I can’t, this only happens in books. Real life never falls into place. Unable to stop myself, I brush his strong jaw. “Xavier, you’re just upset.”

His features twist. “Of course I’m upset, I’ve messed up the greatest thing in my life and I have no idea how to fix it.”

“Xavier—”

He grips my thighs and then waves one arm wildly in the air. “The only thing I could think of is to make a grand gesture in front of everyone I know.”

Some of the tension in my chest loosens, just a little. I bite my lip.

“I had no idea that this misery was love.” He blows out a breath. “I’m not going to lie, it’s as awful as I thought it would be, but if it’s going to be awful, I want it to be awful with you.”

Laughter bubbles, unexpected from my chest and I finally manage to say, “That’s the least romantic thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I know how you like romantic gestures.” He looks frantically around the room, searching for what I have no idea, before he turns back to me. “I would have brought flowers, but I didn’t have any idea that I was going to do this.”

I shake my head. “You don’t have to bring me flowers, Xavier.”

“Yes, I do, I should. I’ll bring them to you every day if you’ll let me.” He leans down and puts his head on my lap and I brush his hair back with the tips of my fingers. “Please, please, Tessa, tell me what you want and I’ll do everything in my power to get it for you.”

I’m speechless. Beyond words.

He lifts up and stares at me. “I know this is hard to understand because your heart is so open and pure, but falling in love with you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Because of…” He frowns, glances around, before returning to me, his jaw tight. “How I grew up, I never thought I could fall in love. I think I thought maybe I was unlovable.”

“Xavier.” His name comes out as a sigh.

“Is there anything I can do? To make it up to you? I’ll do it. Anything, I swear.”

I wonder if I should make him suffer more. The heroine in a novel would make him suffer more. But I don’t have the heart. That’s not who I am. Not when he’s in such despair. I smile. “I love you too, Xavier.”

Relief floods over his features, and if I was unsure before, I’m one hundred percent certain now. “You do?”

I nod. “I do.”

“Thank god.” He stares deeply into my eyes. “I swear to god, Tessa, you won’t be sorry.”

Christopher taps him on the shoulder and he jerks around, snarling. “Do you mind, I’m trying to have a moment here?”

I giggle, covering my mouth with my hand.

Christopher grins and hands him a wilted stub of a yellow rose. “It’s the best I could do on short notice.”

Xavier stares at it, scowls, then sighs and takes it. He turns back to me and holds it out. “Tessa, love of my life, will you please do me the honor of being my girlfriend?”

I take the sad little flower and beam at him. “Yes. I will.”

He scoops me into his arms and crushes his lips to mine.

My last thought, before his mouth makes me forget everything but him, is maybe I’m pretty exciting after all.