Chapter Nineteen
Elizabeth glanced quickly down to hide her relief. Robert had so concealed his emotions since their return to court that she had honestly thought that perhaps he no longer felt anything for her. Her own emotions were complex and deep. She both loved him desperately and hated him for his lack of faith in her, but after spending night after sleepless night thinking upon what had happened, she had come to see that to her, his faith in her was a matter between just the two of them, but to Robert, it was the hope of a nation he carried on his shoulders. If he gave her his faith completely once more, he would be risking himself as well as all those who relied on him. She could not deny that the thought of such a feeling made her tremble.
She loved him still, and though he had deeply hurt her, now that she understood it better, she could forgive him if he would relent. The alternative of a life without him simply was not acceptable.
Yet she had not been lying to Robert about the king. He had given her the order to move to de Beauchamp’s bedchamber today at court, but she was not indifferent and accepting. She was horrified, angry, and desperate, which was why she had decided a small lie about how she truly felt about it could not be such a horrible sin.
She had hoped that if he did still care for her, his jealousy would drive him to show it, and then she would have proof that he did still feel for her and she would do all in her power to save their love. She cleared her throat, very nervous with the game she was playing. “I’m sure another woman can give you an heir. In fact,” she said, “Gwendolyn returned to court today. Perhaps she will be to your taste.”
He frowned at her. “I will nae share my bed with another woman. Ever,” he growled.
Elizabeth felt weak with relief. She thanked God Robert was in a fit of jealousy and was not watching his words. “Well,” she said, inhaling a deep breath to keep herself calm, “I fear the king will see through me if I lie to him and tell him we have a true marriage.” She shrugged. “I do not wish to incur his wrath. I’m sorry.” She stepped to brush past him, and he caught her around the waist and pulled her to him, crushing their bodies together.
The hardness of his length, the raw power he exuded, overwhelmed her senses and made her thoughts spin. His hand twined in her hair to tilt her head back, and memories flooded her of the other times he had held her in such a way. Her heart raced, and her body responded to her husband, heat pooling in her belly and tightening her core.
“Well then, lass,” he said, his voice a velvet caress, “let us make certain there is nae a reason for the king to doubt what comes from yer lips.” He captured her mouth, his kiss ravishing, demanding, and hot with yearning.
Every nerve within her fired to life as she responded to the raging need she felt in him in equal measure. As their tongues dueled, she trailed her hands down his chest, her body rejoicing in touching him once again. His muscles rippled under her fingertips while they roamed over the hard planes of his stomach, to his narrowed hips, and then his powerful thighs.
His hands explored her as rapidly as she was exploring him. He teased his fingers over her breasts, then blazed a path to her hips where he hiked up her skirts and brushed between her thighs. A moan escaped her as she arched toward him, the simple touch nearly undoing her. She wanted to release in him the same thing he was making her feel. She wanted them to find that place where they could be free with each other as they had been before. She slid her hands over the fronts of his thighs to delve between them, but he neatly grasped both her wrists.
He broke their kiss. “If ye touch me there, I will nae be able to control myself.”
“I don’t want your control,” she panted. “Release yourself to me, Robert. Show me the warrior that I know you are. Show me the man who dwells behind the polite facade you show the king.”
He swept her legs out from under her, strode two steps, set her upon the bed, and was over her, undressing her, kissing her, and murmuring all at once. “Ye are mine,” he said, kissing her bare belly. “Mine,” he growled, capturing one breast and then the other, offering exquisite torment. She writhed under him, wanting to answer, to confirm that she was still his, but she could not form words.
He tugged off his plaid and other clothes as he drove her nearly mad with need, and then she was pressing kisses to his shoulders, his chest, his abdomen, before he tugged her up, nudged her thighs open, and entered her with a thrust that reclaimed her as his and only his. Their joining was wild and fast, and in the midst of the storm of their bodies, slick and sliding, Robert grasped her under her back and lifted her to him, encircling her in his arms and pressing his lips to her ear as he moved within her. “Ye are in me, nae matter what I do. Ye are there, claiming my thoughts, my desire, my longing.”
“You are as the blood in my veins,” she cried out, sliding her arms around his powerful back and holding on to him as he took her with him to a place where she could think of nothing but the tightening of everything within her, the feeling of him consuming her, and the sweet bliss of release. When her body could take no more, she splintered into a thousand languid pieces.
She was uncertain how much time had passed. They lay pressed together, Robert having collapsed upon her hot and sticky, his heart thudding against her chest, his face buried in her neck. She did not want to move for fear that the moment she did, he would rise up and look at her with the wariness she had become accustomed to getting from him. As sunlight filtered into the room, warming it with the oncoming day, Robert stirred and rolled off her. He lay beside her, not touching her, and her heart squeezed with fear. But then he reached out and stroked a hand down her cheek. “I do nae want to hurt ye. It kills me to see it.”
Tears filled her eyes as she nodded. He brushed them away as they rolled down her cheeks. “I want to believe ye, I do. I remember my words to ye that I would nae ever doubt ye, but Elizabeth—”
She pressed a finger to his lips, hope filling her. “It is not just you and your desires that you must think of, but the needs of your people.”
His eyes widened, and he captured her fingers, removing them from his lips. “Aye, that is exactly it. I have so many who rely upon me. For years before I met ye, I was wary; I did nae allow myself to feel. It is how I survived. It’s how I ensured those who counted on me survived. And then I met ye, and ye were all I could see.”
“And you do not know for certain if what you saw was real,” she said, swallowing. “I have no proof for you. Where does that leave us if my words are not enough?”
He scrubbed a hand across his face. “If it were just me,” he said hoarsely, “they would be enough. I would take the chance with my life.”
“But it is not just you.”
“Nay. It is nae.”
She needed to confront Gwendolyn and get her admission that Gwendolyn had lied about hearing it was Elizabeth’s idea to tell Robert that the king knew where Robert’s men were in Ettrick Forest, but it would not do if Robert did not hear her confront the woman. She was afraid he would say no to her request, but if she left him a note to meet her in the woods and she somehow got Gwendolyn there, he would come. He would come to protect her from any harm that he thought might befall her in the woods.
Robert awoke with a start and jolted upright when he did not sense Elizabeth near him. His hand went automatically to the place she had lain facing him. His fingers grazed smooth foolscap. Frowning, he picked it up and opened it.
Meet me at the stream beyond the king’s statue. I am getting you the admission from that you require to believe in me.
E
Fear, stark and vivid, gripped him. What had he done? What had he driven her to do to go into the dangerous woods? She could die or be ravaged. The thoughts froze in his brain as he scrambled to his feet, dressed quickly, and searched for his daggers. One was missing.
Christ! His heart beat painfully. He had no doubt Elizabeth had taken it. He raced out the door, down the stairs, and toward the woods. Elizabeth’s face flashed before him in clear images of her—in the height of passion, with eyes full of love, with a gaze filled with despair, desolation, and pain that he had caused by not having faith in her as he had promised.
He shoved branches out of his way as he raced into the woods, consumed by the need to get to her. He could not imagine his life without her, and he knew in that moment that he trusted in her. Why had he been such a fool? Why had he allowed doubt to enter his mind and keep him from her for so long? Yes, she was a distraction, but she was also a source of great strength for him. She had been right to call him a coward. He had been. He had been afraid to feel in the depth, in the completeness, that their love demanded. He had been afraid to feel that way because he was afraid to lose her, and it had been easier to push her away than expose himself fully to that possibility.
“Christ!” he muttered as he quickened his pace, praying to God that he would not lose her now and that she could truly forgive him.
Elizabeth’s mouth curved up into a smile when Gwendolyn appeared from the trees. Elizabeth crouched for a moment, watching her. The letter she had falsified from Robert asking Gwendolyn to meet him had worked perfectly, just as Elizabeth had suspected it might.
“Robert!” Gwendolyn called.
Elizabeth withdrew Robert’s dagger, which was at her hip, and prayed Robert would arrive in time to hear the confession she intended to get out of the woman.
“Robert!” Gwendolyn called again. “Are ye here?”
As the woman drew near and turned her back to Elizabeth, Elizabeth sprang from the woods, grabbed Gwendolyn by the neck, and set the point of Robert’s dagger to the woman’s soft skin right under her jaw. “This is my husband’s dagger,” she hissed. “I will use it to slit your throat without hesitation if you do not tell me how it comes to be that your cousin Fraser thinks I plotted against my husband.”
“You wouldn’t,” Gwendolyn challenged.
“Aye, lass, she would,” Robert said, barreling through the trees with a dagger in hand. Elizabeth nearly cried out in relief and happiness. He had come! Robert stalked toward her and Gwendolyn, and for a moment, Elizabeth had the sudden fear that he might take her dagger and not help her with Gwendolyn, but he set the point of his dagger to Gwendolyn’s chest, and said, in a voice that chilled Elizabeth with his barely controlled rage, “Why did ye lie about Elizabeth? And before ye answer, I know ye did. So tell me why, or I will kill ye, whether my wife wishes to spare ye or nae.”
He believed her! She wanted to slump with relief, but she stood rigid with her dagger still at Gwendolyn’s neck. “Be quick about it,” Elizabeth snapped. “I’ve not had my morning meal, and I’m rather irritable.” She saw a smile tremble at Robert’s mouth, and it seemed in that moment that they would somehow rebuild whatever had been destroyed between them.
“I love ye!” Gwendolyn blurted. “I’ve loved ye for years, and I could nae just stand by and watch ye marry her. I had to find a way to stop ye falling into her spell and to ensure ye hated her. Besides, I overheard her father speaking with the king and telling him Elizabeth would be cooperative and aid them in destroying ye, so I did nae lie. I twisted the truth!”
“Ye should have come to me with what ye thought,” Robert growled. “I could have told ye that Elizabeth is true to me.”
Hearing Robert say that made Elizabeth’s breath catch and her heart squeeze.
“But she’s nae!” Gwendolyn gasped. “Her father said she was working with him and the king.”
“Because I made him think it was so,” Elizabeth snapped. “I would die for my husband.” She pressed the point of the dagger a little harder into Gwendolyn’s throat but not so hard as to actually cut her. “I would kill to save him if I needed to.” She saw Robert’s eyes widen, and then a smile did curve his lips.
“Lass, ye have turned out to be a truly proper Scottish wife. But I need ye to do something for me now.”
“Anything,” she replied, meaning it.
“Make yer way back to the castle and find Fraser. He rides out this day, and he will need to take Gwendolyn with him. She’s nae to be trusted.”
“I’ll find him and bring him back here to you.”
“Nay. Just send him to me. It might be noted if ye go into the woods with him. Wait for me in our bedchamber, aye?”
The loving yet yearning look he gave her curled her toes. “Yes.” She nodded. “I’ll be waiting there.”
Fraser’s squire told Elizabeth that Fraser was in the solar, so she rushed up there and met him as he was closing the door. He gave her a frown, but she waved him away from the door, and he followed. “Lady Elizabeth?”
“Listen to me,” she said in a whisper and grabbed his forearm. “Robert is in the forest by the stream at the entrance where the king’s statue stands. He has your cousin Gwendolyn with him.”
Fraser’s frown deepened.
“I never betrayed Robert! Gwendolyn made it seem as if I did because she loves Robert.”
“Christ’s teeth!” Fraser murmured. “I told that lass to let that hope go.”
Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “You knew?”
“Aye, but I did nae imagine she’d do something such as this. I’m sorry.”
“No, do not be. Make haste to Robert. He says you are riding out, and you will need to take Gwendolyn with you.”
“Aye,” Fraser muttered. “If ye will excuse me?”
“Yes, yes!” she whispered, waving a hand at him.
The man disappeared down the stairs, and she turned to leave, as well, when voices drifted from underneath the solar door. It was the king and her father. Glancing around to ensure no one saw her, she pressed closer, her heart thumping so loudly that she could not hear. It took several moments to calm herself, and as she did, her heart quieted.
“So Wallace has returned and plots even now with Comyn,” the king said.
“It seems so,” her father answered.
“Send troops at once with orders to capture Comyn and Wallace in Selkirk Forest. I will kill Wallace in a public display, and Comyn and his men, I’ll use to my advantage.”
Gooseflesh prickled across Elizabeth’s body, and she glanced behind her nervously, but she was still alone. Then she moved close once more to hear her father say, “What of Bruce?”
“Robert will bend fully, you will see, and if he does not, if he dares to betray me, I will try him for treason. And he will, of course, be found guilty and hung.” Elizabeth bit down on her lip to keep from crying out. “Watch him,” the king continued. “If he does anything that appears as if he is anything but my loyal servant, then he will suffer the consequences.”