Chapter 9

Peg

As I sit listening to the normal business being discussed at our Friday night church, I’m mentally preparing for what’s coming up on the agenda. Throughout the meeting I’ve caught the smirks Slick’s been throwing my way, and I’m getting more and more worried that today might be the last time we’ll be seeing Hyde around the compound. I’m going to miss the fucker. I’ve always found him to be willing and helpful, and he comes up with intelligent suggestions. Okay, he had problems in the beginning, but he’s slowly but surely been learning our ways, and I, for one, wouldn’t hesitate in trusting him to have my back.

“So, Peg. What d’you think?”

With a start, I realise I’ve completely lost track of the meeting. Unusual for me, I make something up, hoping it fits in with what they were discussing. “Sounds okay.”

Drummer bangs the gavel. “Okay. That’s what we’ll do, as we’re all in agreement.”

Thank fuck no strange looks are being sent my way. But I’d love to know what I just supported.

“Now, Peg. You want the floor?”

I inhale a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “I want to bring the subject of prospects to the table.” I wait for that to sink in. Blade has stopped spinning his knife, and Slick sits back, takes out a cigarette, and lights up. His face is impassive, and I still can’t read him. It’s difficult to see Heart’s reaction, he’s sitting a couple of seats down from me.

“I’ll throw it open in a minute but want to give you my thoughts first. Let’s start with Fergus. He’s been here getting on for a year, but I’m not recommending we patch him in yet. We need a prospect to do the shit, and while he’s probably close to earning his patch, I don’t think he’s quite ready to bring to the table. Anyone think different?”

“Like the man,” Wraith puts in. “But we’ve not had a chance to see how he responds under threat.”

Yeah, one thing I’m happy about. There haven’t been any dead bodies to dispose of for a while.

Wraith’s observation is echoed around the table and it’s not lost on me that while it’s not vocalised, my point that we need at least one prospect means whatever happens to Hyde, he won’t be a recruit after today.

I take another breath. “Which brings me to Hyde.”

Jekyll’s hand shoots up, Prez nods. “I’d got a couple of things I’d like to say. I know I’m the newest member at this table, but I worked alongside Hyde for a year. He’s hard working and dependable, and I trust him. Don’t know if my view counts for anything, but he never turned down even the shittiest of jobs.”

“Your views as valid as any other,” Prez tells him. “Anyone else got anything to say?”

I have. “Hyde’s been prospecting for longer than anyone else. We either patch him in, or part ways.” I lean forward, wearing my sergeant-at-arms face. “He’s been here eighteen months dealing with all the shit that we’ve thrown at him.” I pause, then slam my fist down on the table. “And never once have I heard him complain. Unlike you, Jekyll.”

Jekyll shrugs and gives a quick grin, he can’t deny I’ve said the truth. Though he always did what we asked, he could be a grouchy asshole at times. Paladin, sitting beside him, places a playful punch on his arm.

Prez raises his eyebrow at me, and I shrug. Might as well get this over with. “Right,” Drummer starts. “Let’s go around the table. And I don’t need to remind you, one nay and Hyde leaves the compound tonight.”

Shit, that’s rough. He’ll have nowhere to go, no one beside him. That will hit the man hard. I, at least, don’t feel good about that. It’s the brotherhood that’s attracted him and what’s made him put up with whatever’s come his way for the last eighteen months.

Wraith nods in my direction and starts us off with a yay. Dollar echoes him. Bullet’s quick too, another positive vote. Blade thinks about it, a snide look in my direction, and I know the delay is only to make me squirm, but then he votes the right way too. Now it’s Slick’s turn.

Slick’s staring down at his hands. “Hyde fucked up when my old lady first came here. Fucked up good.” He pauses and raises his head, receiving the chin lifts of acknowledgment. Even I jerk my chin in his direction, there’s no denying what Hyde had done. “I’ll leave Heart to talk about what went on with him.” Heart, seated opposite, growls. Then, an unexpected grin comes to Slick’s face. “I’ll miss givin’ the asshole shit, but I’m not adverse to bringin’ him to the table. He’s got things straight over the past few months. My vote’s aye.”

One down, two to go. But I can’t see Paladin going against Slick. The vote goes quickly around the next few members, Beef, Marvel, Joker, and Lady all giving their assents.

I cock my eyebrow at Paladin and wait for him to speak. “Prospectin’’s hard, it’s not far in my rearview, same as for Jekyll here. At the time it’s hard to understand all the flack you get thrown at you. But there’s a reason for that, as we all know. If we don’t have complete trust in a brother, this club’s gonna fall.” He breaks off as though pulling his thoughts together. While I’m wondering where he’s going with this, I’m also respecting how much he’s grown into a man. At nineteen we brought little more than a lad to the table, and that hadn’t turned out to be a mistake.

Paladin catches my eye. “Hyde’s honest, hardworkin’, and he lives for this life and the chance to be patched in. I wouldn’t want to deny him. With a dependable man like him, I’d be proud to call him brother. I vote aye.”

Thank fuck.

Jekyll shrugs. “I like him, Aye from me.”

Viper’s quick and says aye. Shooter and Rock don’t take much time. Road gives his vote, another plus for Hyde. Then it’s Heart’s turn.

Leaning forward to look down the table, I see him shaking his head. Damn it. He’ll be a no, I’m certain.

Heart clears his throat. “Hyde looked after my old lady. Kept her safe, kept her sane before I came to my senses. I knew what she meant to me, just hadn’t admitted it at the time. If I trusted him to look after one of the most important women in my life, I have to trust him to stand up beside me. Sure, there were cock-ups, made me furious at the time. But he got bested by my old lady. Doubt any of us could have done better.” That raises a laugh. He leans forward and looks me straight in the face. “I vote aye.”

After that it’s quick. Mouse doesn’t take a minute to give his positive answer, I say mine, and then Prez hesitates. Oh shit.

“I don’t have a problem with the fucker. Think he’ll do good things for the club. It’s a unanimous vote, Peg. Let’s call him in.”

My sigh of relief comes from my heart. Now, this is the bit we all enjoy. Thinking back to my prospecting days, I remember being called to the table, shaking and quivering, not knowing what to expect. Jekyll, his face stern, leaves the room and returns quickly with Hyde in tow.

Drum fixes him with his death stare, and points to a space at the end of the table. “Stand there.”

Hyde glances at me, his face drawn. He knows what this is and expects to be thrown out of the club. He’ll know he’ll be unable to put forward any case in his favour. And he isn’t stupid. After all the time he’s been here, he understands if he doesn’t get a patch now, he never will.

He pulls back his shoulders and looks straight at the prez.

The silence seems to last forever. A pin dropping would be louder than any other noise we make. Every brother staring down the table, but to Hyde’s credit he takes it, and doesn’t look away.

Eventually Drum speaks. “You’ve been prospecting for us for eighteen months now. Came in with Jekyll, but we gave you longer, as you needed a few second chances.”

Hyde doesn’t flinch, doesn’t show any reaction, doesn’t try to defend himself for the mistakes that he made. In the light I see his eyes glisten, the only sign of emotion, but one that signals how devastating it will be if he isn’t accepted into the club.

Now prez makes the unusual move. He gestures to Slick. “Slick, you’ve had problems with Hyde. Anything you want to say?” Briefly he shields his face with his hand, and I guess he’s given Slick a wink.

Wraith’s passing something to Dollar, who passes it to Blade, and now Slick’s fumbling with something under the table. Then he stands up, his hands held down to his sides.

“You cocked up, Prospect. No arguin’ with that. Those second chances Prez mentioned, well, you needed them more than once.”

Hyde’s eyes go to Slick’s, but still he doesn’t try to stand up for himself, but now his shoulders slump.

Bastard that he is, Slick lets the silence stretch out, then, “You’ve taken those chances, and proved yourself. Welcome to the table, Brother.” With his words, Slick brings out the patches he was holding. The Satan’s Devils insignias that Hyde will now be able to sew on his cut and wear with pride as a fully patched member.

Brothers are stamping their feet, banging fists on the table, and hollering. Slick walks around, passes the patches over into Hyde’s hands, then puts his arm around his back, slaps it and pulls Hyde briefly to him. Heart’s on his feet and giving him a man hug in a similar way. Hyde’s not stupid, he knew these were the two he’d have to convince. A smile creeps over my face as I watch. Prez, fucking Prez letting Slick do the honours. He knew exactly what he was doing. Showing Hyde his past crimes have been forgiven.

Now we’re all on our feet. Someone yells out, “Patch-in party!”

Hyde’s still not cracked a smile, he seems bemused. I wait my turn, then speak to him quietly. “Well done, Brother. You deserve this.”

As I look into his face, he wipes away a tear, and then, at last, his face cracks. “Thanks, Peg.” Then louder, he calls out, “Thanks everyone. I won’t let you down.”

“Fuckin’ sure you won’t.” I slap his back, then follow my brothers out, now thirsty. I really hadn’t been certain that vote would go the way I wanted it to.

When Hyde comes into the clubroom he’s hustled toward the bar. The first thing he does is shake Fergus’s hand. Then, with glee, asks the prospect why he hasn’t got a drink in his yet. That cracks us all up and breaks any remaining tension.

Marcia, Heart’s old lady, heavily pregnant, is waddling over toward him, but I take the opportunity to have a word with him first.

“Heart, thank you.”

His eyes, which have been tracking Marcia’s progress, turn to me. “It was the right decision, Peg. I know that. Hyde’s a good man.” Then he leans down and whispers conspiratorially, “And between you and me, Marc would have had my balls if he’d left.”

As the woman in question joins us, I point to her swollen belly. “How long is it now, Marcia?”

She frowns. “Technically another five weeks, but could be any day now.”

“That okay if they come early?” What do I know about a woman’s pregnancy?

“Yeah. They should be okay. There’s a higher chance of premature birth with twins, but it’s equally possible I could go full term.”

The longer those babies keep incubating, the better it will probably be. Suddenly a big grey shape launches itself at me, and as it’s unexpected, I’m nearly knocked off my feet.

“Down, Grunt!” Heart snaps out.

But the darn monster of a dog is quite happy licking my face. I push him away, but I can’t help chuckling. It amazes me how such a big, clumsy animal seems to be so gentle with Amy and the toddlers.

Maybe I should get a dog. Something to keep me company and ease the emptiness that’s in my life.

Grunt soon spies another victim and leaves me alone. Heart and his old lady move away. I stand at the bar, beer in my hand, suddenly crushed by a loneliness that’s hard to explain. I’ve got brothers around me, yet there’s a hole in my life. Seeing the kids when they’re down in the clubroom, Marcia with her stomach swollen with her old man’s seed. I want that for me.

“Wouldn’t want to be Heart.” Beef comes up alongside me, jerking his head where the man in question is walking off. “Diapers definitely aren’t on my horizon. We’ve got it good, Peg. Never want an ol’ lady.”

Half listening to Beef as I see Heart taking Marcia out the door, I realise it’s getting late. The other old ladies have already gone, and the sweet butts wearing almost nothing are starting to come in.

Beef hasn’t noticed I’ve been distracted. “Look what we’ve got going for us. Club whores, and there’ll be hangarounds from Tucson here in a while. Variety’s the spice of life, eh, Peg? This is the life, ain’t it? This is what it’s really like to be a club member.”

Hyde, taking advantage of his new status, is making a beeline for Paige, and is quick in accepting Diva’s offer too. With brothers calling and whistling, he flips them off over his shoulder and disappears with both girls out the back to the crash rooms.

I could go with a club whore, get her to keep me company for a while. She’ll know the score and won’t remark on my missing leg. Even if it disgusts her, she’ll ignore it.

But lately I’ve lost any urge simply to get my rocks off. I must be getting old. I want sex to mean something, to have a woman in my bed who’s interested in more than my cock.

Discretely I make my way to the entrance, stepping outside into the night. With my brothers all busy drinking or fucking, or getting dicks sucked, nobody notices me leave.