“Camping? Like real camping where you’re sleeping in a tent in the middle of nowhere, peeing behind trees, and eating beans out of a can? That kind of camping?” Sherry, my best friend since grade school, says in the most disgusted voice she can muster, I’m sure.

Even at twenty-two years old she still gets on my nerves, but makes me laugh at the same time. I stop packing and sit on the edge of the bed. I stare at my hands, knowing that this idea is slightly insane, but something I really need to do for myself. “Believe me, I know how crazy that sounds.”

“No, I don’t think you do.” Sherry gives me a sympathetic look. “Have you even ever been camping before? You do realize you have to have supplies? It’s not like you can go to the campsite and they have everything already set up for you.” She was smiling, teasing me.

“I’m not a complete moron.” I smile back at her. Even though inside I am telling myself there are other things I can do to relieve stress.

“You know if you need to talk I’m here. I’m always here.”

I smile back. “I know. I just need to get away for a little while and clear my head.”

She nods in understanding. “Yeah, I get that. How long are you going to be gone?”

“Just the week. I borrowed a bunch of camping gear that my brother had stored away, so I’m all set. I just need to get away from the city, from the bullshit of Eddie flaunting his new relationship in my face like I give a shit.” I think about my ex. We’ve been broken up for a month already, yet working with him, and seeing how he nearly fucks the new co-worker right in front of me, as if trying to somehow get back at me for “breaking his heart” grates on my nerves more than I want to admit. Hell, it shouldn’t bother me because I’m the one who broke up with him. But I think the stress of work, and the bullshit of Eddie being an asshole has been my tipping point.

“You should just report his ass. Surely him groping his new fling is sexual harassment.”

I shrug. “I don’t know if it counts as sexual harassment if she’s doing the groping too.” Sherry makes a disgusted face and I laugh. I get back to packing, and haul the last bag downstairs. I may be only going to be gone for the week, and probably over packed, but I want to make sure I have the comforts of home as I relax.

I toss the last bag in the back of my car. I turn and stare at Sherry. “I’m going to hit the road and get an early start. That way I can set up everything before it gets too dark.” I give her a hug and thank her for listening to me bitch. She’s the one person I trust implicitly. She’s always been there for me, especially in the times I’m feeling like my life is spiraling out of control.

“Oh, I forgot to mention I saw Beau the other day.”

Just the mention of my brother’s best friend has emotions rising up in me. He’s back? Is he on leave? Was he discharged? It’s been years since I saw him, years since he and my brother left for a tour with the army. My brother Brooks came home on leave, but I never saw Beau.

I’ve tried to keep hidden, keep submerged. Beau Sterling is my brother’s best friend, his army buddy, and the man I love. He’s a guy I grew up around, one who, just looking at him, makes me want to set something on fire. He is arrogant, sure of himself because he knows he’s so damn good looking. All through the years I’ve wanted to slap the smirk off his face, and then pull him in close and kiss him.

It’s been a long time since I’ve spoken to him, yet I’m still consumed with my feelings for him. I can still remember that night all those years ago, right before he left, at the party my parents threw for him and Brooks. I can still remember my lips on his… I shake my head. Nope, not going there.

He’s only ever seen me as Brooks’ little sister, even when I wanted to be so much more than that. I think that’s why I get so pissed thinking about him. Because he never saw me as the woman I am, the woman I grew up to be. He still sees me as that little girl who probably got on his nerves.

But then there’s the fact—the secret fact—that even though he pisses me off, I want him. God, I really want him.

I love him.

I’ve been in love with him since I knew what that word even meant, since I felt my emotions for him rise up and threaten to strangle me.

“I swear,” Sherry says, this lustful look in her eyes. “If Beau wasn’t such a cocky bastard I might’ve gone after him.” I snort at that. “No, probably not. He’s not my type, not in the least.” She wrinkles her nose. “But he was wearing a tight black shirt that showed off every muscle.” She starts fanning herself. “I love guys in the military, but it’s a shame he got injured.”

At the mention of that my heart cracks in two slightly.

“And the worst part about it all is he knows how damn good-looking he is.”

I laugh, hiding the fact that just thinking about Beau like that gets me all hot and bothered. I feel my face start to heat as I think about him, about how much I hate him ... how much I want him. I say goodbye again quickly and get in my car, not wanting Sherry to see how I am reacting.

Because the last thing I need is for Sherry, or anyone for that matter, to know exactly how much I want Beau Sterling. All that will accomplish is to leave me with a broken heart and nothing to show for it.