I was falling for Elliot, fast, and I couldn’t stop my downward spiral no matter how hard I tried. The weird thing was it didn’t feel as if I were plunging into murky waters. I’d been in murky waters before, literally, and this felt the complete opposite. This felt safe, challenging, but safe. When I was with him, my body buzzed with an excitement I’d only ever known in his presence – a mixture of home and the unknown. And that was because Elliot always kept me on my feet. There was never a dull moment with him.
Not one.
Not even at the zoo.
“How big is an elephant’s dong?” I asked, tilting my head to get a better look between the mammoth beast’s legs. “I take it you know the answer considering your extensive knowledge in the field.”
He choked. “I do have extensive knowledge in the field of big dongs. Thank you.”
I rolled my eyes at him.
“And yeah, it’s big,” he replied, licking his ice cream, all smug-like. “So big that, sometimes, they use it as a fifth leg.”
I crossed my arms. “They do not.”
“Do.”
Elliot was so matter of fact about ridiculous things. It was equally hot and infuriating, as was his constant tongue lapping. Fuck. All. The. Shits. I couldn’t take my eyes off his mouth.
“Want some?” He pointed the ice cream my way.
I shook my head. “Uh ah.”
“You sure? You look you do.” Oh, Lots, you have no idea.
I turned to face the elephants instead. “So where’s its fifth leg?”
“Sheathed. Either that, or you’re looking at a female.”
“Oh, how do you tell?”
“Considering they’re Asian elephants, I’d say tusks. The females don’t normally have them.”
I raised my hand and shielded the sun from my eyes, spotting a male tossing water over its back with its trunk. “Over there. He has tusks.” I squinted and counted his legs. “I’m not seeing a fifth leg though.”
Elliot draped his arm over my shoulder and hugged me to him. “Come on, you perve, we’re done.”
“Oh no we’re not!” I dug my heels into the ground to stop him from pulling me in the wrong direction. “We haven’t been in the butterfly house yet.”
“It’s closed.”
“What? Who says?” My heart dropped; it was my favourite exhibit.
“There was a sign at the entry gate that said it was under maintenance. Didn’t you see it?”
“No.” Narrowing my eyes at him, I spotted his eye twitch. “You’re lying!”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. If memory serves me correctly, you were never the biggest fan of butterflies.”
“Do you blame me? They taste with their feet. What sane creature tastes with its fucking feet? That’s just disgusting.”
“Oh please. We’re going to the butterfly house. You’re going to the butterfly house.”
“Fine. But I’ll wait outside while you go in.”
“No, you won’t. I went into the reptile enclosure and pretended to blow a kiss to a hideous python for your photographic amusement, so, you, my dear friend, are going to see the pretty, harmless, butterflies with me.”
Moments later, we were entering the humid butterfly house, the raised temperature prompting the removal of Elliot’s jacket and my cardigan. I took a few steps and stopped, arching my head back and looking up toward the glass roof as hundreds of butterflies of varying shapes, sizes and colours fluttered all around us, some landing momentarily on plants, flowers, and suspended limbs of people standing as still as statues.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” I said, quietly, taking in the magic of nature.
Elliot didn’t answer, and it wasn’t until I turned to see why that I realised he was still standing by the door.
“Come on.” I held out my hand. “It’s not so bad. I promise.”
He looked at my outstretched fingers, the expression on his face, not one I’d encountered before. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Danielle Cunningham. And the only thing that’s missing right now is a Cheezel on that finger of yours.”
My jaw dropped as he removed the space between us, his hands finding my face and cradling it with silken urgency, his lips and mouth touching mine with the softest desperation. Butterflies exploded — not real ones — in my stomach, and my heart near hurt with the realisation that I was in love with my best friend and ready to face my fear and risk everything to be with him.
Closing my eyes, I let go, our bodies melding together, my arms resting on his shoulders while my fingers gripped his head. My mum once said to me that true love can’t be seen, only felt. That it sleeps inside us all and is woken once or twice in a lifetime, and when it wakes we know. We know because our universe flips on its axis and leaves us wondering which way is up or down.
My universe just flipped. Elliot had tilted it many times, but here, in the butterfly house at Melbourne Zoo, he just flipped it like a fucking pancake.
Lifting me up, he spun me around, our lips still pressed, their only separation two glowing smiles.
I giggled, dizzy from the movement, dizzy from the heat … dizzy with love. “See? The butterfly house isn’t so bad, is it?”
He shook his head, kissed my nose, and hugged me tighter. “Just keep them off of me.”
“Why? You’re so tasty. I can’t blame them for wanting to land on you.”
“You’re tastier. They should definitely land on you instead.”
“Are you going to put me down now?”
“No. I figure if I’m holding you the entire time, they are less likely to land on me.”
“Elliot,” I laughed, “put me down.”
“Nope. Not gonna happen.”
I placed my hands on his cheeks and peered into his crystal blue eyes. “Do you trust me?”
“That’s a trick question.”
“No, it’s not. It’s a closed-ended one.”
“That’s what you’d like to me to think. You seem to forget I make a living out of asking questions.” Shit! He does, too. Damn him and his solicitor ways.
“Fine. Do you want to trust me?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Good, because you have a butterfly on your head.”
His eyes grew incredibly wide and stationary, as if they’d iced over and froze. Unblinking. Unmoving. He was unmoving.
“Breathe,” I whispered, smiling at the beautiful creature.
His nostrils flared.
“It likes you.”
“I don’t like it,” he bit out, his voice barely audible.
Elliot’s grip around my waist tightened.
“Ease up, boa constrictor.”
“Get. It. Off.”
“No. It’s tasting your hair.”
He shook his head like a dog post bath time, let me go and hurried off, ducking as if he was in the process of being swooped by birds.
“Where are you going?”
“Outside.”
“Lots! I trust you,” I called out. “I trust you enough to love you and know that when you say we will always be friends, we will.”
Elliot paused then slowly looked back over his shoulder at me, the exit door handle in his hand. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I love you, Elliot Parker. I love you enough to love you like I should … like I do.”
He let go of the handle and walked back to stand in front of me, a butterfly landing on his shoulder before his lips could touch mine once again. His eyelids lowered, and he sucked in a breath before opening them again. I waited, which was when he gently coaxed the butterfly onto his finger and delicately placed it on my head. “I love you, too, crazy girl. Always have. Always will. Butterflies and all.”
After our zoo date, we headed back to my house for dinner. I wasn’t much of a cook — having been spoilt by Chris’ culinary expertise more often than not— so our choices were frozen Ramen noodle bowls from Costco or … frozen Ramen noodle bowls from Costco, which I was quite the fan of.
“Dinner is served,” I said proudly, placing the black microwavable bowl on the table in front of him.
His mouth curved into a smile, but it was one of those smiles that held knowledge you weren’t privy to.
“What? What are you smiling about?”
“Nothing. Smells good.”
“It does. And it tastes good, too.” I sat down opposite him and dipped my spoon into the soup. “You should know that by loving me, you must also love and accept the fact that this is as far as my cooking skills go.”
“I can live with that,” he said nonchalantly, his smile still hiding information I wanted to know.
I put down my spoon. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t lie.”
“I’m not.”
“Yeah, you are. You smile funny when you’re not telling me something.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m lying.”
“Yes, it does. It does when you won’t tell me what it is.”
I stared him down but he wouldn’t budge, and it only made me more frustrated, more determined.
“Fine,” I said, smiling to myself, trying to mimic his stupid I-know-something-you-don’t-know grin. “I won’t tell you what I’m thinking then.”
He slurped his soup. Loudly. “But you want to tell me, right?”
“Meh. Don’t really care.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“You do more.”
“Why?”
“Because it involves me getting naked.”
He paused, spoon midway to his mouth, which was agape.
“Thought so.” I continued sipping.
“Care to elaborate?”
“Maybe.”
He put down his spoon, his eyes hungrier than his stomach, and hungrier for me than the food I’d just dished up. It sent a jolt of excitement direct to my core, waking the muscles between my legs.
“Danielle!” he said, his voice low.
“Remember that game we used to play, when I’d give you one of my lollies if you told me something you were scared of?” I loosened the top button of my shirt, and he fidgeted in his seat. “Well … let’s play that game again, except this time, I’ll give you an item of my clothing instead.”
“Storms. Butterflies. Bats. Cats. Chickens. Needles. Water,” he rattled off, stretching his open palm across the table. “That’s seven items of clothing, please.”
I laughed and slid my fingers over his. “How about one at a time. And let’s start with chickens. I didn’t know you were scared of chickens. Why?”
“Because they peck.”
“That’s it?”
“What do you mean ‘that’s it’? That’s enough.” He crept his fingers along my forearm and latched onto my sleeve. “Give.”
“Okay.” I slowly unbuttoned my shirt and slid it from my shoulders, acutely aware of his blazing eyes. “Here you go.”
He took it from me, rolled it into a ball, and tossed it behind him.
“Hey!”
“Bats. They have wings and are ugly as fuck.”
“They are not.”
“Have you ever looked at one up close? Their noses are squashed and they have big, pointy ears.” His eyes flicked to Dudley, who was asleep in his bed.
I glared at him. “Dudley does not look like a bat.”
“I never said he did.”
I sipped some more soup, continuing to glare.
“Another item of clothing please.”
“Fine.” I reached down and untied my shoes, levering them off my feet and kicking them toward him under the table.
A smiled played at the corners of his mouth. “Butterflies—”
“We spoke about that one today,” I interrupted, “so it doesn’t count.”
He clicked his jaw, and my God, it was sexy.
“Needles. They hurt and they draw blood.”
“Why’s that scary?”
“Because they draw blood, like vampires, leeches, and mosquitos.”
“You think mosquitos are scary?”
“No. Just needles.”
He waited, all smug-like, and I wanted to slap him with my breasts, which were currently targets for his sight. “You want my bra next, don’t you?”
Elliot nodded. Slow. His eyes still fixed to my chest. I smiled and leisurely unclipped the red satin.
Cool air instantly teased my nipples, so I covered them and gave them a gentle squeeze. “It’s cold in here.”
“I can see that.” He twirled some noodles, ready to eat. “You should keep doing that,” he said, nodding toward my hands. “Keep them warm.”
I watched him eat, my eyes zeroing in on his lips as they wrapped around his fork. “I bet your lips could keep them warm as well.”
He choked while swallowing his mouthful. “They could.”
Letting go of one nipple, I teased my finger across my bottom lip before dipping it to the button of my jeans. “I think I know why you’re scared of storms,” I said, standing and unfastening the zip. “Same reason I am.” I shimmied them down my legs and removed them completely, dragging down my socks with my thumbs as well. “My guess is that water is, again, for the same reason?”
Elliot nodded, pushed his chair back and slowly made his way to my side of the table, his enlarged pupils dominating the blue of his eyes. I sucked in a breath, my breasts rising to meet his hard body as it pressed against mine, his hands settling on my hips and hooking the seam of my underwear.
“Cat?” I asked, my whisper desperate for an answer.
He smirked and glanced down. “Yes, please.”
I lifted his chin with the tip of my finger. “Why. Are. You. Scared. Of. Cats?”
“I’m not. I just said that because you had a lot of layers of clothing on.”
Before I could whack him, he lifted me up onto the kitchen table. I gasped, blood pumping through my body like a speeding train.
“Elliot, your noodles.”
“Fuck the noodles. I eat them every few days.”
My eyes widened, and I pouted, the slow dragging of my underwear down my legs as hot as hell. “You do?”
“Yes. Fuck me,” he groaned, licking his lips. “Your cat is gorgeous.”
I nudged him with my foot and smiled. “Thank goodness you’re not scared then.”
“Oh, I’m scared.” He dropped my underwear on the floor, opened my legs wide, and then slid his hands up my thighs as he moved himself between them.
Elliot hovered over me, his chest rising and falling, his eyes searching mine, their intensity so raw, so honest, that I, too, felt his trepidation. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for half my life. Trust me, Danielle, I’m scared.”
I touched his cheek and brought his lips to mine. “Me too, so let’s be scared together.”
His tongue dipped into my mouth, softly, then with enough avidity that I was matching his eagerness and clawing at the nape of his neck with my hands. He tasted like home, and Ramen noodle bowl, and I never wanted to taste anything else.
Lifting me slowly once again, this time he slid his arm underneath my legs and carried me to my bedroom, laying me down softly on the bed. I scooted backward and flipped the switch of my lamp, the low glow of the bulb illuminating his skin as he pulled his t-shirt over his head and crawled up my body.
“Kiss me, Lots. Kiss me everywhere.”
He smiled and trailed his mouth down my neck, stopping at one nipple and gently suckling it before switching to the other. I moaned and gripped his head, pressing him hard against me, wanting to feel every inch of him. If he was scared, I was terrified. Terrified of not living up to his expectations, and terrified I was about to ruin everything we were. But I was more terrified of stopping him because I wanted this more than I’d ever wanted anyone or anything.
Moaning again when he stretched my nipple with his lips and let go, I gripped his head and pulled him to my mouth, wanting to taste him again. I was so greedy, so wanton, my heels digging into his back as I held him to me.
“Jesus, Danielle,” he groaned, our lips, tongues and teeth a wild and delicious mess.
Trailing his hungry mouth down my neck, he sucked and massaged my nipples again before moving further down my body. Each kiss, each touch, sending me soaring to a height I’d never reached before. No other time, no other man, felt like I felt now.
His lips feathered across my clit, and my hips bucked uncontrollably. “Oh God!”
He groaned and lapped his tongue over me, once, twice, many times more, until I was squirming and lifting my legs to clamp around his head. It was just too much. The sensation of his tongue, the emotion of finally giving in … the tensing of my muscles as stars exploded in front of my eyes.
“Fuck! That’s it, babe, let go.”
I writhed and bucked as he gently held me down and took me to one of the most intense peaks I’d ever been to, my heart pounding, my body flushed with heat. “Oh shit. Oh wow. Lots. Wowww … ” my voice trailed off as he stood, unbuckled his belt and jeans, and pulled them down, taking his boxer shorts with him them and allowing his cock to spring free.
I lifted my head, which felt like a lead weight, and moved upright to lean on my elbows, biting my lip and panting for the taste and feel of him in my mouth.
“Jesus, Danielle, don’t look at me like that or I’ll come before I want to.”
Shaking my head, I moved to my hands and knees, eyeing him devilishly as I crawled toward him. His cock twitched as I neared, his crown swollen and glistening. I wrapped my hand around it and stuck out my tongue, dragging it slowly up his shaft until I had him completely in my mouth.
He groaned, gutturally; a sound that could find its way into your marrow and stay there. And I wanted it to. Forever. I wanted to remember this moment for as long lived, a moment where I controlled his pleasure, his pain, his everything.
Moaning, I released him from my mouth, his pre-cum and my thirst the perfect wetness to pump him vigorously, which I did, alternating between quick sucks and light teasing licks.
“Stop! Fuck. I need inside you … now!”
I needed him inside me now as well, my inner thighs drenched in anticipation. Elliot guided my shoulders to meet his, his mouth finding mine with a ferocity that stole my ability to call any more shots. I was his — all his — to do with as he pleased.
Lifting me and lying me down, Elliot moved my legs to brace his hips as he slowly pressed into me.
My head fell back. “Ohhhhhh.”
He kissed my neck and rocked into me, slowly. Deeply. I could feel him with every stretch, push and pull, and it felt so damn good.
“Perfect. Just … perfect.”
I smiled and touched his jaw, his hair dangling over his sweat-dampened forehead, his eyes full of what I knew mine were full of … love.
“Somehow,” I said, choking on a sob. “Somehow I’ve always known, even without knowing, that we would be together like this. I can’t explain how, I—”
“You don’t need to explain.” He turned his head and kissed my palm. “Ever. Because I know. I’ve always known.”
Elliot’s pace picked up, his eyes intensifying as we both climbed. And when my eyes fell shut under the immense pleasure exploding within, he groaned and released into me, slumping his hard, immaculate body on top of mine as we both rode out our orgasms, tangled around one another.
Legs, arms, body, heart, and soul.