***Pokey***

 

Spiky stuffs everything in the overnight bag we brought within minutes and is staring at me with a thoughtful look on her face.

“What is it, sweetheart?” I grab our bag and step toward her.

She shrugs her shoulders. “Can I go to Sico and maybe talk to him?”

“Are you gonna tell him about Everleigh?” I don’t know why the hell I’m whispering because it’s just the two of us in here.

“I don’t know. You said earlier ‘One can never live their life on what ifs’ and that line keeps haunting me. Sico is so hard to get a read on, but the guy I saw in there? Going all furious with the mentioning of her name? That kinda makes you really think about the what if…” Spiky sighs.

Her words make me chuckle. “This is just the first time you’ve seen it. He’s always like that when it comes to her. Just as long as she’s not around, any woman for that matter, so he might be slipping with containing his feelings, anger, whatever. To be honest…I don’t know what the hell his problem is. Sometimes I think it’s because he’s annoyed about Everleigh being the female version of him. Or so she makes it seem. We both know that’s clearly not the case here. He claimed her on the spot when she tried for Ransom in front of him. It’s like he’s torturing himself through her. Yet I catch him looking at her with that raw intensity. Fuck…”

“I’m gonna go talk to him.” Spikey gives me a feather light kiss before she adds. “I can’t be the one who tells him, though.”

My head rears back. Did she just give me her blessing to be the one who tells him about Everleigh? She winks before she strolls out and heads for the room next to ours. I guess that’s the answer to my unasked question. Damn.

She told me about Everleigh’s past as an example. To give me insight how the ol’ladies keep each other’s secret, the struggles, the pain. They have each other’s back and support each other. Just like the club does. But with some things, you hold on to that secret and respect it, but you also know when it’s time to spill because it’s needed to help and show even bigger support.

She just handed me the decision, the trust, the option. Would I have wanted to find out about the pain she went through when she was attacked? About my son? Even if it would influence our relationship? I would have seen her vulnerable, at her worst, depending on me…again. In her point of view, getting the lesser version of the person she is? At her worst. Fuck. Yes, I would have wanted to know either way. We would have pulled through. Together.

We would have been honest and open and threw every bit of truth about our feelings at each other and would have gotten out of that stronger. Like now. Only now is slightly different since we were robbed of the extra time and maybe everything that happened in between. But fuck, it got us to where we are either way. You can’t outrun the truth.

Well…I guess my decision is made, isn’t it? When I step inside Sico’s room, I see him sitting on the edge of his bed, head down and his forearms leaning on his knees, one hand gripping his phone. Spiky is standing in front of him. She must have said something to have him in that position looking like a little boy getting lectured by his mom, except the mom in question is my ol’lady and she’s staring at the ceiling.

I look up as well and I have to rein in my smile. Sico is an ass. He has a huge chandelier and dangling from it are a million thongs and other scraps of lace. With all of the different sizes and colors it looks like a damn trophy or something.

“You really had sex with her underneath that?” Spiky points up. “Don’t you think she deserves a little better?”

She’s got her hands on her hips. Damn. Sico is one nasty motherfucker who takes shit from no one. Especially not women. But right now? He looks like he wants to hide underneath the covers in shame. What the hell happened last night?

“Spiky?” Her eyes find mine. “Can I have a minute with him before we head over to Austin and Fuzzbutt?”

She looks at Sico and grimaces. Yeah, my point, sweetheart.

“I’ll grab our bag and get a cup of coffee before we go, okay?” Spiky brushes her lips against my cheek before she steps out and closes the door behind her.

“What the hell happened to you man? Ten or fifteen minutes ago you were all flames and war, yet here you are ready to be knocked out by a feather.” I take a step closer to the bed he’s sitting on.

Sico raises his head and our gazes lock. The hand that’s holding his phone comes up in my direction.

“I need you to Google her name and tell me the shit that will pop up. I fucking know there will be something bad. Like really fucking bad. That Casey idiot let something slip. Or better yet, it was something he didn’t say and hesitated. He flat out said I didn’t know, like the fucker knows something. The way Everleigh is…she can raise those fucking walls and put on the variety of masks she’s capable of, but I see her. I see her, man. There’s something and it’s killing me not knowing what. Yet I’m too fucking chicken to hit that search engine. And it’s not like I can go to Nerd and ask her to run a check because…”

“They know what happened to her, Sico. And it’s not for them to tell you.” My words make his eyes narrow.

“So everybody fucking knows, except for me? What the ever-loving-fuck man?” he growls.

I hold my hands up in a defensive position while I take a seat on the chair in the corner. “Remember me telling you how betrayed I felt when the ol’ladies didn’t tell me shit about Spiky and my kid?”

One chin lift gives me enough confirmation to continue.

“It’s the same for them as it is for us. Some things are meant to stay inside the brotherhood, or in their case, sisterhood. The need to respect the person’s wishes. Spiky showed me this when she trusted me with Everleigh’s story. She made me realize it’s not hers or mine to spill.”

Sico’s lip turns up in a snarl, his fingers dig into his knee and his other hand is crushing his phone in a tight grip. I fucking know he’s ready to flip his shit.

“I don’t know how you’re gonna deal with this, but seeing you balance on insanity of a caveman already, it might be better to tell you so you can get your shit together. Or at least my ol’lady indicated she thought it’s time for you to know…except she can’t tell you. Now I have to share something about my side of shit first because you need to listen and not freak the fuck out, become aware of the bigger picture, you get me?”

  He throws the phone over his shoulder and spreads his arms wide. “Lay it on me, I’ll take the words from your mouth any day over googling.”

“Our situation, yours and mine? Different in many ways and still I need for you to listen closely. I felt so fucking betrayed, angry and honestly hurt…and yet you have no reason to be angry because it’s something from her past, but dammit…they’re women, and emotions and shit, so just listen. Spiky skipped town because she had it set in her mind that I thought she only used me for a quick fuck. Then she got pregnant and she already felt guilty for using me, and here comes a child we didn’t plan on. She came back to tell me she was pregnant but then that shit with the Cape Town crew happened.”

“Doesn’t fucking matter, she should have fucking told you. She had lots of options and chances at any time before the kid was born. Then we could have handled it right away. You would have been able to watch the birth of your son, slide into the whole being a parent thing easy. It wasn’t right, man.” Sico shakes his head in distaste.

“Yeah, believe me, I understand your statement and I fucking double it. Yet you have to see it from their point of view. Pride and dignity, and all the other goddamned emotions are a funny thing. When you’ve already used a person, get backlash from it, and then let that person know about the recent events…you will have no other option but to lean on that person some more. It’s a huge load to throw on someone you don’t even know, other than the few minutes you had together in a bathroom. Spending the most of those minutes enjoying each other’s body instead of talking. See what I’m getting at? Basically, we were two strangers, and she didn’t want to throw it all on me. It might have been selfish, looking at it from my point of view, but instead it was mostly about not forcing me into anything. All about pride, about weakness, fuck…it’s everything. Shit ain’t ever easy but no matter what the outcome, I have a feeling life will always find a way to set things right, or at least have a chance to. Like how we were tied together, how we’ve overcome the things that were standing between us. What I mean is…the way you see a person? Really see them? It’s about background, history, facts, unspoken shit. Not just the exterior. You reflect it with your words, your attitude, your looks, everything.”

Sico stands up. “Dude…is there a point to all of this? Because you’re really starting to sound like a philosopher or something, and I’m lost in your rambling bullshit. I have zero idea where you’re getting at or if you need my help to talk shit through for you and your ol’lady or if this has something to do with Everleigh. Get to the fucking point or shut the hell up.”

“I didn’t trust the woman who gave birth to my child, and who had a grip on my heart and soul, you idiot. That kinda complicates things when you need her to build a future together. I looked at her differently because of all the things I knew, or didn’t know, or because of it…didn’t understand her point of view in the ‘why’.”

He shakes his head. “Nope…still not getting it.”

Fucking hell. Standing up, I shrug a hand over my head. “I saw her with different eyes, fucker. People tend to do that when you judge their actions or intentions. When you hear what you want to hear or know what you’ve heard, or hell…make up your own truth. Until you hear their version and have a complete picture. Fuck. Just remember what I said just now, okay?”

“Right.” A frustrated breath leaves Sico’s body. “Remember the mindless rant. Gotcha.”

“Her ex-boyfriend tied her to the bed, blindfolded her, and she thought he was doing it to spice up their love life, but in fact he let two of his buddies in and they had sex with her…”

“What the fuck, man? Shit. Sorry dude. Was it consensual? You know, when she found out his intentions with two extra guys?” Sico asks.

I slowly shake my head.

 “Damn, that’s fucked up.” He wipes a hand over his face.

“There was a video tape.” Anger rises inside me again as I continue. “The fuckers taped the whole thing. There are two versions of that tape and the full version clearly states her saying no and her shocked face when the blindfold gave way.”

Sico takes a step in my direction. “You need my help killing those fuckers? Wait…you’re sure Austin is yours, right? There’s no doubt, it happened after? Or, damn man…”

What. The. Fuck? “I’m not talking about Spiky, you idiot. It’s Everleigh. Her ex…”

He rears back as if lightning struck. All the blood drains from his face while his ass hits the floor. He sits with his back against the bed while he grips his head with two hands. “No, no, no, no…fuck, no.”

“The girls found the full version of the video after Everleigh told them about the whole thing. Everleigh seems to think that she wasn’t raped because she freely let him tie her up and blindfold her.”

“Fuck, no,” Sico growls.

I need to get it all out, so ignoring him I continue once more. “You know how it is, when something is on the internet, you can’t shake that shit. If anyone would see this, say a new boyfriend or parents of a potential friend, or anyone…She’s labeled as a whore either way.”

Sico is standing on his feet in a flash. “So, she made herself one the very first day she walked into this damn town? Fucking everyone? The whole three holes, three go thing?” He’s breathing heavily as he mutters, “Damn that woman. A tormented soul. What they did…she turned it into the very thing she used as her own punishment. The three time’s a charm thing my ass, it has a whole different meaning to her. Holy fucking hell, that’s screwed up.”

“Basically. I didn’t even think of it that way with the three times shit... But Sico…she only fucked like that one time. She made sure it was out in the open so there wouldn’t be any doubt. She planted the rumor about the three times, seeing it was a public display, she had no hard time letting people believe otherwise.” Okay, I wasn’t sure what to expect when he knew the truth, but shit…that’s a lot of fury spitting off his face.

He starts to pace and I’m seriously having doubts if telling him was a smart decision.

Sico stops midstride. “I am going to hunt down every fucker who was involved. I swear right here, right now, I will end them,” he snarls.

Suddenly all fury is gone and replaced with pain, agony, and regret. “She’s not at all like me, man. She’s too fucking good for me. The shit she went through? Fucking hell, I should have never claimed her. What the hell was I thinking? But I’ll be damned if I stray from my first intentions. She’s mine. Only mine. I protect what’s mine and I will rain fury over those who hurt her, present, future, or the fucking past.” He rakes a hand through his hair. “I can’t believe a guy would do that to her. Tie her up without discussing bringing in extra dicks, no way out…what she had to endure…the aftermath…”

Damn. There it is, I knew it would hit. “Okay, that look on your face right now? Don’t ever let that shit slide on when you’re near her. That’s what I was talking about. You can’t see her differently, because…”

“You can’t just un think or un see shit. It’s like that ‘two girls and a cup’ video you should never Google. It’s branded in your mind forever.” The pain is edged into his voice.

My hand clenches into a fist before I punch him in the shoulder. “That’s just it, man. She survived it. Hell, from what they’ve told me, she explained to Brandlee it was all a bet. Just held out her phone with the video for him to see the day after it happened. So he wouldn’t  search online or anything, and if he did happen to stumble upon it or anything, he’d already know about it. That’s how damn strong she was, even if she was totally humiliated. Don’t you get it? People take their own goddamn life for one nude shot on social media, hell…even threat about placing it online. Living with that shit is branding life at every turn. Everleigh doesn’t need you ripping it open all over again. And she sure doesn’t need your look of pity.”

Sico narrows his eyes at me. “Before Everleigh, I thought love was a fucking illness people catch from time to time. Your body heals, you get over it, or you die from it. I didn’t want anything that would taint my health, my body, or my mind. I never understood people going out of their mind over it. Because I didn’t realize what it meant. Until now. It’s Everleigh. I crave for the disease called love to take hold of my body. I feel like I wanna die from it, man. Because I know for fucking sure my last breath will leave my body anyway if I can’t have her.”

Okay. I think I need a minute or so to process this. Did he really just say what I think he said? “Damn, man. That sounds very weird and somehow romantic, but in a very twisty way. And from the way I just interpreted that…are you finally admitting out loud that you love your ol’lady?”

He gives me a tight nod. “I knew it the first time I walked in the tattoo shop to get inked and I laid eyes on her. She was standing there getting everything ready. Her tight ass was facing me in those jean shorts where her ass cheeks were almost creeping out. She turned, and when we locked eyes we both needed a moment to catch our breath. Then she inked me and it was like she rubbed it on my skin using her pussy. I swear it was such a turn-on…the moment she was finished and walked to the counter to clean up, I pulled down her pants, unleashed my dick and…”

“Okay, TMI, man. For real. Too. Much. Information.” I shake my head. I don’t need to know that shit.

“She came around my dick the second I shoved home, man. Making the cum pump right out. No condom. I have never, ever, shoved it somewhere without wrapping it up. My dick found the promised land man. Never wanting to leave. That’s why…”

“Why you claimed her.” I finish his sentence because it all makes sense now.

Sico is a manwhore. I mean he’s got the ‘I love hos ink on his arm to prove it. He doesn’t give a woman an orgasm. Not even by accident or by choice. That’s why I was so surprised I heard him demanding an orgasm from Everleigh last night.

“Yeah. But this changes everything,” Sico swears.

Gripping my hand, I rub my thumb in my palm. “How? What’s your plan? You can’t just walk up to her and tell her that you know. Or demand that she tell you, or hell…get her to act normal and be all happily ever after.”

“Black ice. Tricky motherfucker. But I’ll be damned if it will keep me from obtaining the very thing I need in life.” Sico’s voice is laced with determination.

“Good. Let’s get going, because I need to hold my son.” I can’t wait to see Austin, see with my own eyes that he’s okay.

Striding to the door, I open it and hear Sico mutter. “Just keep that cat locked up, nobody wants that angry fucker around. You should have named her Edward…as in Scissorhands, slicing people up like that.” 

“Hey,” I snap. “Watch your mouth. That’s my furbaby you’re talking about.”

His left eyebrow raises. “No disrespect, man. Seriously. Last time I checked only you were able to be in the same space as Fuzzbutt. That changed when your son and ol’lady came along. Maybe I’m stealing a page from her book, changing my ways for that special someone.”

“Okay. I’m out of here before you turn into a nice guy, instead of the dick I’ve gotten used to all these past years.” I chuckle but on the inside, I’m fucking proud as hell.

I always knew there was a hint of a good guy inside of that ugly, asshole motherfucker.