He could be infuriating and stubborn. Like an immovable wall. Had it been one of the things I loved or hated about him? Standing in the Big Bear living room, I wasn’t sure anymore. The news of the emails was disturbing. The fact that Asher had hacked all my accounts was maddening.

I hadn’t leaned on him in so long. What used to be natural now felt like an invasion of my privacy.

And then there were the kisses that had blistered my lips and turned me into complete putty. I wanted his hands on me. His breath blazing over my skin. My body craved him. It missed him.

He could soothe my nightmares and hold me.

But this was reality. Asher was controlling and overprotective. And right now he was in bodyguard mode. The man who had started to let the shield crack fifteen minutes ago was quickly gone – he had patched it back up.

I saw the gun tucked in his pajama pants. I didn’t even realize he had grabbed it on the way out of the bedroom. He had an ease with guns and weapons I couldn’t begin to understand.

“Don’t do that.” His gruff voice carried over my shoulder.

“Why not? We can’t do this. I can’t do this. I don’t want to fight with you.”

He sighed. “Put us aside. I want to talk to you about the emails.”

“Of course you do.”

He had the ability to switch from emotion to mission focus as if it was as easy as turning a light switch on and off. I was still angry I had let him get me naked.

“J. Talk this through. If you’ve never seen them talk to me. Help me figure it out.”

“Oh, all right.” I lowered my eyes to the floor and slumped on the couch. “I didn’t see those emails. Dante forwards the important things to my private account. If it’s fan mail, he handles it. Someone on his staff responds.”

“Then there’s a possibility Dante read these?” he pressed.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s possible I guess.”

“I need to get him on the phone now.”

“Asher, wait. What time is it?”

“3am,” he replied.

“Let Dante sleep. You can talk to him in the morning.”

He groaned. “You don’t get it. I need to speak to him because this comes first. You come first.”

“Then why don’t you act like it?”

“Excuse me?” He put his cell down.

“Nothing has made sense for the past week. If I’m being completely honest, the past two years.” I turned to look at him. “It shouldn’t take a near-death experience for you to be back in my life. And I don’t even know if this is back. You’re cold. You’re distant. Unless I need you. And then you want to be in my bed. I can’t handle it. I can’t handle this. Whatever it is.”

He tried to talk, but I held up my hand. I wasn’t finished.

“I may never have another chance to say this, so I’m going to say it before I lose my courage.” My throat tightened. “You were supposed to be it. You were supposed to be the man I spent my life with. I trusted you. I believed you. And you walked away.” I blinked. “That kind of blind trust doesn’t suddenly reappear. I felt so broken I didn’t believe in any man. I don’t know that I will.” I took a deep breath. “I know you’re worried about me. I believe you. But I don’t want my hired bodyguard back. I don’t want surprise kisses in the woods. I don’t you to comfort me after a bad dream. I don’t want you to break my heart again. That’s what I need to say.”

“I’m sorry. I am sorry for what I did.”

“And you want my forgiveness?” I asked.

“Yes. I want you to forgive me. But I want more than that.” His voice was deep and slow.

“Ok. I’m listening. What do you want?”

“It’s simple. It’s always been simple.” He paused in front of the couch and I felt the energy around him. There was nothing cold or distant. He radiated heat. “You, J. I want you.”

I shook my head. “It’s not that simple.”

He knelt in front of me. “You’re right. I get wrapped up in the target. I spend more time on your safety than you. I always did. I’m doing it again, against every warning in my head. I have to fight the instinct to protect you and just give in and love you.” He tugged at the quilt, letting it fall away, exposing my breasts to the cool air. He sighed. “I do love you. I love you enough to abandon my company. Enough to hide you from the world. Enough to spend every dime I have to make sure you’re alive and happy.”

My pulse quickened. His thumb ran over my nipple, making it perk. My eyes landed on his.

“Not like this,” I whispered.

“Then like what? How do I tell you I’ve been lost since…” His words trailed off. “Since I made the worst mistake of my life.”

“Sex isn’t the answer. It’s too easy this way. We’re too good at this. Sex makes it seem like everything is ok.”

And it was. Our bodies knew each other. Wanted each other. He didn’t even have to touch me to spread fire under my skin.

His mouth lowered to my nipple. Kissing it before sucking it between his teeth.

My head reeled back. “Ashe,” I whimpered. I pressed his head to my chest, wanting more pressure. Wanting to feel the life surge through me.

His teeth clamped against the tight bud and I bucked. The last of the quilt fell to the floor.

“This…this is what I’m talking about,” I whimpered, knowing I was already lost to him.

His hand trailed along my waist before sliding my legs apart. I gasped as his fingers slipped between my wet folds. I opened, eager to feel him. He flicked my clit and my hips rocked. It wasn’t enough. I rocked again, panting until his fingers sank inside me.

Shit. It shouldn’t feel this good. But it did. It always did when Asher worshipped my body.

His fingers pumped in and out. He climbed on top of me as we fell backward on the couch. His mouth covered my neck and shoulder, kissing me wildly. Licking, sucking.

I worked his pajama pants over his hips, pushing them down his legs until he could kick them off his ankles. They landed on the floor. His made a trail of kisses, lower each time until he was circling my navel.

I gasped as my knees were pressed wide and his head dove to my heated center.

“Oh God,” I moaned. His tongue was wild and expressive lapping at my juices.

I tugged at his dark hair, urging him to go deeper. Suck harder. Drink faster.

As his tongue plunged inside me I found the fire I had missed. My body was alive in his arms. I was like captured lightning when he commanded me this way.

I felt his growls vibrate against my thighs and through my entrance.

My core tightened, tingling faster and tighter as he coaxed the orgasm from my body.

“Come baby,” he growled. “Let me feel you.” I heard the anguish in his voice.

I didn’t have a defense when it came to this man. He could love me. He could leave me. And I’d still be his. My body would still come for him time after time.

The last resistance I had snapped as he thrust his tongue from my clit to my pussy and I felt the waterfall of sensation wash over me.

“Oh shit,” I moaned.

I grabbed his head, grinding my hips into the roughness of his face. Burning my thighs with the friction. Releasing my body from the built-up ache that seven days of Asher had created. It poured through me, lifting me through the sky. Until I had nowhere to go but land in his arms.

He kissed my knee, stilling me with a lusty gaze. “I missed you. So much.”

He tucked his arms under me and scooped me up from the couch. “Where are we going?” I asked.

“My bed,” he answered.

He kicked the door to his room open and lowered me on the bed. He climbed toward me and I thought my heart would explode.

I’d loved him. I’d mourned him. I’d cried too much. Missed him too much. And now the pain had vanished. He was here, loving me again.

He folded his arms around me, kissing me roughly. I tasted my scent on his tongue.

“I swear I’ll never leave again,” he promised. “I’m a different man, J. We have a lot to catch up on. I have a lot I want to tell you.”

I nodded. We could talk tomorrow. We could talk next week. I didn’t care as long as he was inside me.

“Will you tell me after you fuck me? Please?”

I reached between us, fisting his wide cock in my hand. He groaned as my palm slid over the silky skin. I traced the throbbing vein with my thumb.

“You drive me crazy, Journey. I want to fuck you. And never stop.”

I whimpered, wanting that too. “You better not stop.”

He nudged his cock against my entrance. My breath caught as he made a circle, coating the thick head in my juices. His fingers threaded through mine as he pushed my hands over my head.

His cock inched inside me and we both groaned. The pressure and pleasure were intense. I had to adjust to his size again. I stretched and quivered around him, knowing what was about to come.

“Never again,” he whispered, clasping my hands. He slammed into me and I screamed his name as he drove deep inside me.

I looked into his eyes. His gorgeous face hovered over me. His chiseled jaw set in a determined line as he thrust into me, making us whole again.

“Asher, I—” My head turned to the side as his body overwhelmed mine with pleasure.

“What? You want more? You need more?” he asked with a husky voice.

“Yes, please,” I begged.

He scooped me up, rolling me on my stomach. I grew wetter just thinking about how it felt when he took me from behind. He shifted me onto my knees.

I pressed my palms into his expensive sheets as my ass rose in the air. I hissed as his cock sank inside me. Each time he gripped my waist harder and tighter.

My breasts bounced, grazing the bed with each thrust. It felt so good. So incredible to be in his bed again. To be consumed and loved by his body.

Asher skimmed my hip, following my hipbone, grazing my clit with his fingers.

“Ohh.” I jerked upright.

He chuckled. “Feel good?”

I moaned when his fingers flicked against the tender bud of flesh. Each touch jolted me closer to my next orgasm. I was going to come faster this time. What choice did I have? Asher filled me so fully. I clenched around his cock, trying to climb my way to climax faster. He pushed inside me, slamming his balls against me.

I cried out with pleasure. With pain. With love.

He strummed between my legs until I was panting and begging.

“You’re mine, J.”

“God, yes,” I called over my shoulder.

He rocked forward, kicking my hands out from under me so that he pinned his chest to my back.

“Asher,” I whimpered.

He was deeper this way. We were closer. There was no air between us. Only our bodies melting each other.

“Fuck.”

He came as violently as I did. Our bodies fluttered as we came together. Cresting and crashing. Rising and falling.

He kissed my neck and back, pumping in and out.

One.

Two.

Three.

His release spilled inside me and I sucked in desperate breaths, searching for air.

He let the full weight of his giant body relax as he rolled to the side, tucking me against him in the process.

He smoothed the hair from my neck, planting one kiss after another. His thumb rubbed my breasts, circling over my nipples.

“It felt so fucking good being inside you…” His words trailed off. “I’m addicted to your body. I always have been,” he admitted.

I bit my lip. I was in some strange place where euphoria was mixed with sadness. And in the pit of my stomach, there was fear. Fear that I had just opened my heart to him again. Yet, my body was his. There was no doubt this was where I belonged. I might as well have Asher Westbrook tattooed all over me. Inked in my skin to prove how permanently he had taken hold of me.

I twisted to face him. His features were dark in the shadows.

“We’re doing things differently this time,” I stated.

He brushed his lips over my mouth. “I don’t know how, but I swear I will.”

“We start by going back to Malibu tomorrow.”

He opened his mouth and I pressed my thumb to his firm lips. His head tilted to the side.

“I’ll listen to you. But you have to listen to me too.”

He sighed. “And you expect me to willingly take you somewhere I don’t think is safe?”

“It’s awards season. You can’t ask me to withdraw from the world. It’s not a reasonable request. And you know it.” He sucked on my finger and I moaned. “And Tristan is awake. I need to visit him in the hospital. It’s the right thing to do.”

He grabbed my ass, digging his fingers into the softest part of my bottom. “Those are convincing points. Do you have any others?”

My pulse escalated and I had to fight for the reasons to leave Big Bear.

We had just found each other again. Couldn’t we hide up here and have earth-shattering sex day after day?

“I’ll compromise,” I breathed.

“This is a first.”

“You can send your team or whoever to the beach house ahead of us. Twenty-four hours and then we leave Big Bear.”

He hiked my leg to his hip and I gasped when I felt how hard his cock already was. He pressed it between my swollen folds and I moaned, wanting him again. Needing his body.

“Deal.” He took my mouth with a sudden kiss.

I pushed against him. “Did you just agree?”

He nodded, yanking me on top of him. “I did. See? I’m a changed man.”

I straddled him, looking down in his eyes. The last bit of fear that I had clung to vanished. I decided I was going to live in the place of euphoria.