“Hello…” he said. “Earth to Sophia.”

I jumped as fingers snapped in my face. “Oh, sorry, Gary.” I blinked a couple of times, trying to focus.

“Where did you go?”

“Nowhere, something just caught my eye on the other side of the restaurant.” I’d always been a terrible liar, but thank God Gary was too self-absorbed to even care.

He asked me out six months ago after work. I figured, what the hell, why not? He was attractive, a couple years younger, had a stable job, and seemed reliable.

“As I was saying before you zoned out, this kid in my class today…”

I stared at him but couldn’t comprehend a word he spoke. I didn’t try to either. I wanted to leave work behind at the end of the day, but Gary couldn’t talk about anything else.

We had a casual relationship, going out once a week for dinner and drinks. But lately, the evenings ended at his place and consisted of lackluster sex and mind-numbing conversation.

Gary was the type of man who “made love” in the only position he was comfortable…missionary. I moaned when it seemed right and faked my orgasms when I’d had enough.

Sex with Gary just didn’t have that extra something that pulled me over the edge. But then again, I’d never found anyone who gave it to me that way.

“Can you believe he said that?” Gary laughed.

If people could be a color, Gary would be gray. He didn’t have the edginess to be black or the sparkle of white. He was perfectly gray—dull, lifeless, and totally bland.

I laughed, shaking my head and playing along. “That’s too funny.” My insides were dying from boredom as I spun the pasta around my fork for a little excitement.

“Do you want to come over tonight?” He raised an eyebrow, and that was his way of asking if I felt like “making love.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Why can’t he just say it? I wanted a man who would pull my hair, spank my ass, and make me come so hard I saw stars. Instead, I had gray Gary with his adequate-size cock and no clue how to use it.

“I’m kind of tired. Do you mind if I take a rain check?”

His toothy smile vanished. “Another night, then,” he replied, glancing down at his pasta and stabbing at the noodles.

I tried to pay attention the rest of dinner, but I barely heard a word he said. I nodded when it was right, laughed when he did, and said a silent prayer when it was all over.

When he kissed me good-bye and closed my car door, I could tell he was upset, but I wasn’t going to spend another night with gray Gary in missionary position with no satisfaction.

As I pulled into my driveway, I sighed at the thought of another Friday night alone in my pajamas. I wanted to crawl out of my skin, break the good-girl mold I’d allowed others to cage me in. I lived another life in my books, one filled with excitement and passion. My book boyfriends dominated me, fucking me so hard that the orgasms knocked me out just like the lucky bitches in the books.

A notification flashed across my phone screen just as I crawled into bed, curling up with my flavor of the week. Tonight, I’d have my hair pulled and ass smacked by an alpha male with a heart.

My eyebrows drew together, and I chewed on my lip as I stared at the name. Kayden Michaels wanted to be my friend on Facebook. His name didn’t sound familiar, but I clicked on his profile anyway out of curiosity.

He grew up close to my hometown and we had a few mutual friends, but not even his face looked familiar. One thing I learned working in a school, never blindly hit accept unless I knew the person. Too many students, both current and former, were trying to find out about my life, and some things were meant to be kept private.

Me: Do I know you?

I studied his face again as I waited for his reply. He had warm green eyes, a shaved head, a sinful grin framed by a goatee, and dimples.

Fucking hell, he’s got dimples.

His facial hair was a mix of brown and gold, but the rest of him was smooth and hairless, well, at least the parts I could see. He looked like the quintessential bad boy, a type I steered clear of my entire life but visited nightly in my fantasies.

I tapped my finger against my bottom lip, my finger hovering over the decline button before his message stopped me.

Kayden: Not yet.

I leaned back on my pillow, trying to figure out if he was an asshole or if the line was clever.

Kayden: I saw your post to Freddie, we went to school together.

Freddie was a lifelong family friend, my brother’s best friend throughout childhood. He went on vacations with us, attended holidays, and became a second brother to me.

Me: Freddie’s a friend of my brother’s.

Kayden: I don’t remember you hanging out with us back in the day.

Butterflies filled my stomach as I thought about my brother’s friends. I had a crush on most of them during my awkward teenage years, but they treated me like a pesky little sister. I wanted to tag along and be included in everything they did, but I usually ended up being discarded from their plans and left behind.

Me: I’m younger and didn’t really hang out with them.

Kayden: Probably for the best…at least for you, but not for me.

I smiled at his small flirtation. My brother’s friends had flirting down pat and had girls dropping their panties from just a smile.

Me: It was best for me at the time. Thanks for the request, maybe we’ll talk again sometime.

Kayden: Hey, wait! Where ya going?

I chewed on my lip as I typed a response and then erased it. I didn’t want to explain that all I wanted to do was get lost in a great book. Not to a hot guy who probably could put every single book boyfriend to shame.

Me: Well, I figured we were finished talking.

I winced as I read over my message. I couldn’t think of anything witty, and while he was being playful, I’d become gray Gary.

Kayden: I’m not. Are you wild like your brother?

That was laughable to anyone who truly knew me. My brother lived differently, never taking the easy road. He led a rebellious life filled with adventure and danger. I read books, attended college, and fucked only a handful of guys in my entire life. We were polar opposites.

Me: Although I love him, we’re nothing alike. You?

The last thing I needed was to talk to someone from my brother’s crazy world. I’d always steered clear of any type of trouble, and not even a pretty face would change that.

Kayden: Hell no! I wrestled with them but never hung out with them.

Me: Smart boy.

Kayden: Boy? It’s been a long time since someone called me that, li’l girl.

I smirked at his reply because I’d always had a thing for that cute pet name.

Me: LOL. Tell me about Kayden “the man.”

Kayden: I’ll give you the short version of my life. I live in New Orleans, install cable, I’m thirty-six, work hard, play harder, and am blissfully single. You?

Me: I’m a school librarian, live in Florida, divorced. I’m thirty-two, and I’m navy blue verging on gray.

I chuckled, hitting the send button. My message was cryptic, and I knew he wouldn’t understand, but it was the truth.

Kayden: What the hell does that mean?

Soon, I’d be giving gray Gary a run for his money in the boring department if I didn’t do something to change it.

Me: Nothing, just an inside joke. Hey, I’m tired. Maybe we can talk again soon.

Kayden: We will. I have to be up early for work anyway. Sweet dreams, beautiful.

My cheeks warmed with his words—beautiful. I’d been called beautiful before but usually not by a man I’d classify as out of my league. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I knew I was cute, but in that bookish, nerdy girl way without the thigh highs and sexy kitten heels.

Me: Night.

What the fuck did I just do?

A sexy man was flirting with me, and I ran away like a scared schoolgirl. So lame. I sighed as I relaxed into my cushy headboard, opened my book and began reading, but I pictured Kayden and his sparkling green eyes looking into mine as I read every dirty word.

* * *

I hadn’t been able to get Kayden off my mind. I’d wanted to message him since the moment I woke up, but I couldn’t find the nerve.

I checked him out, making sure he wasn’t a crazy person. When I didn’t find any red flags, I did the only thing I could to find out more about Kayden and hopefully get rid of the butterflies that filled my stomach every time I thought about him. I messaged Freddie.

Me: Hey, Freddie. Question for you—do you know Kayden Michaels?

Freddie: Yeah, we went to school together. Why?

I bit my nail, trying to think of how to answer this without it getting back to my brother. He’d throw a shit fit. I might be older and wiser—he’d debate that fact—but he still had the ability to send guys running for the hills for even looking in my direction.

Me: He sent me a friend request. I wanted to know if he was an asshole.

Freddie: Nah, kid. He’s a good guy. Did you talk to him?

Me: Not really, just wanted to make sure it’s okay to accept his friend request.

Freddie: Yeah, go for it. If he gives you any shit, you tell me and I’ll handle it.

Me: Always, Freddie. Thanks!

Freddie had given him the stamp of approval. I just needed to get the courage to send him a message. I turned the phone over in my hand, pacing back and forth like I was been possessed.

Kayden: Morning, Sophia. Sleep well?

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

Did he know I was stalking him? Did Freddie say something to him?

Concentrate on breathing… Inhale and exhale, slowly.

Me: Hey, yeah… I slept well, and you?

I should just crawl into a hole or bang my head against the wall because I couldn’t have sounded any more boring.

Kayden: Slept like a baby. What did you mean last night about being navy blue?

I twirled my hair around my finger and thought of a way to explain it without sounding like a deranged lunatic.

Me: Is navy blue an exciting color?

I rolled my eyes at my stupidity. Shit. I fidgeted, waiting for his response. I was a librarian and should have a way with words, but when it came to men, I lost all ability to speak and never sounded eloquent.

Kayden: Umm, not really.

Me: Well, it’s the color of my life.

I glanced around my office, wondering if anyone could see me blush, but the library was empty and the kids hadn’t started to pile in yet.

Kayden: Impossible.

Me: Entirely true.

Kayden: Come on! You’re Mike’s sister, and you’re hot as hell. No way you’re boring.

My belly flipped at “hot as hell.” It made my skin prickly, but in a sexy, spine-tingling way.

Me: I’m nothing like my brother, Kayden. I learned what not to do by watching him.

Kayden—even his name wasn’t bland.

Kayden: I never thought you were. You just share DNA. That doesn’t make you navy blue. Tell me more about yourself. Are you seeing anyone?

How much should I tell him? I’d never meet him. I’d read the stories about women being abducted and never heard from again. I didn’t know the man behind the message. Freddie knew him in school, but so many things changed as we get older. He could be a total creeper with a side of serial killer, and no one would be the wiser.

Me: I’m seeing someone casually. He’s a nice guy.

Kayden: That’s the kiss of death.

Me: What is?

Kayden: Being a nice guy. It’s code for he sucks.

I snickered at the spot-on interpretation of Gary. It’s exactly what I meant without coming right out and saying it.

Me: He doesn’t suck. It’s not easy to find someone to fit my perfect mold.

Kayden: I thought I found “the one” twice in my life. I’ve abandoned trying and stopped dating altogether.

Why were all the hot guys unavailable? It left single ladies like me to drown in a sea of gray and turning to our fictional men for companionship.

Me: I can’t give up, not yet at least.

Kayden: Why did you end up divorced? If I can ask. I don’t want to offend you.

Leaning back in my chair, I tapped my foot against the carpet and thought about how I’d explain everything that happened—or didn’t happened, I should say.

Me: So many things went wrong. I met him right after high school, and we married years later. The relationship lacked in so many ways, but I ignored them, waiting for things to change.

A lump formed in my throat thinking about my past failure. I thought I’d be with him forever and that we’d have a family and grow old together. I couldn’t have been more wrong, but it was me who asked for the divorce. I couldn’t accept the mundane existence that was my marriage.

Kayden: Lacked how?

I sipped on my coffee, waiting for his reply and thought back on how unhappy I was back then. One day it was like a lightbulb switched on, and I realized I couldn’t take another day just existing together. I wanted the love I read about. I wanted the romance. I wanted a partner and not a friend.

Me: I felt more like a roommate and his housekeeper. Totally passionless. There was no romance. We talked about having kids, but it would’ve been a miracle.

Kayden: Was he gay?

I spat out my coffee, drenching my desk as I read his message. The thought had crossed my mind a time or two, especially since he was never particularly interested in sex.

Me: No. We weren’t right for each other, and I had to walk away.

Kayden: All that long brown hair, big beautiful brown eyes, and with that smokin’ hot body. How can a man not want to fuck you?

I blinked more than once, rereading his message. He’d said I was beautiful again.

Kayden: A relationship is nothing without passion. You made the right choice. It’s not always easy, but it’s best to keep your sanity.

I didn’t want the conversation to be about me anymore. I wasn’t looking for compliments and didn’t need to open old wounds that had already healed. I wanted to know about him, about Kayden, and what made him tick.

Me: You’ve given up on dating entirely?

Kayden: Yes, strictly physical relationships now.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that his statement disappointed me for some odd reason. It’s not like I was going to run out and throw myself in his arms, but it would’ve been nice to know it was a possibility.

Me: So…you have sex with strangers? Are you that guy—the type who sleeps with a girl, never to be heard from again?

What other type could he be? Really, I’m not different. I don’t sleep with men I don’t know, but I’ve slept with Gary, and I wouldn’t call him my boyfriend by any stretch of the word.

Kayden: Fuck no, not anymore at least. I’m upfront with each of them.

Each of them? Did that mean he’s sleeping with more than one?

Me: Them?

Kayden: I’m not banging my way through the female population of New Orleans, but I turn to a couple girls I know in my times of need.

A porno clip played in my mind, and he was the star with his rockin’ body and hard cock, doing what he just claimed he didn’t. I fanned myself, heat crawling up my neck because the thought of him fucking anyone turned me on.

Kayden: I’m not a dick about it.

I blinked, being pulled out of my sex haze and realizing I needed to get a goddamn grip. I’ve been basically celibate for so long that a man I’d typically run in the opposite direction from now turns me on.

Me: You sound kind of like a caveman to me.

Kayden: I don’t take what’s not freely offered. They know I’ll never be their boyfriend. They take it for what it is, a night of pleasure…mind-numbing pleasure. The type that makes your toes curl, takes your breath away, and leaves you wanting more.

Every part of my body ignited. I’d never had that…ever.

I wanted it more than anything in the world. The bland vanilla sex in my real life lacked the passion and want of the carnal pleasure I had with my book boyfriends.

Me: OMG. You’re a manwhore.

Kayden: Ouch, Sophia. That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?

Me: I thought it was more funny than harsh. I meant it in the nicest way.

I didn’t blame Kayden.

I’m sure he’d been upfront with them. Some didn’t mind being used in that way, hell, maybe they were using him.

I’d never been a user or let myself be used.

Maybe that was my problem, why my life was navy blue.

I was drawn in by him, a man my exact opposite. He was hundreds of miles away, not looking for a girlfriend, but just messaging him added color to my dreary world.